Bandaging of mental wounds or psychotherapy? “I was struck by a lively human voice.” Which doctors are most in demand

It is unlikely that someone will go to ophthalmologists because he has poor eyesight, or to neurologists because own problems with the spine. But the desire to become a psychotherapist often occurs in those who have experienced mental suffering, for whom the desire to understand themselves and how a person works is almost a vital necessity. This was confirmed by everyone with whom the authors of the article met.

However, at the end of the 80s of the last century, when the first psychotherapists began to practice in Moscow and Leningrad, none of them could even imagine that today, at the beginning of the 21st century, psychotherapy would become one of the most popular professions. And they themselves become almost legends, since it was with them that the modern history domestic psychopractice, for a long time "closed" in our country in the 30s.

These people were lucky enough to listen to lectures and participate in seminars of the world's most famous experts in the field of psychotherapy and psychoanalysis, learn from the founders of various areas practical psychology.

Each of them has his own path to psychotherapy, and each of them is associated with inner work with yourself, hidden from the eyes of other people

“In fact, we were granted a second professional youth,” recalls psychotherapist Ekaterina Mikhailova. - After graduating from the university, stuffing cones and learning a lot, we suddenly turned out to be schoolchildren again, got the right to not know something, not to understand, ask stupid questions, get carried away, fall into puppy delight ... And then gradually sober up again, swear ... And this is a great success ".

Talking about themselves, the interlocutors were open and sincere as far as their profession allows them. Each of them has his own path to psychotherapy, and each of them is connected with inner work with himself, hidden from the eyes of other people. Today, experts from the journal Psychologies have agreed to reveal this secret to us.

“In the language of psychoanalysis, I heard poetry”

Natalya Kigay, psychoanalyst

At the age of fourteen, I decided that I wanted to be a psychologist, I wanted to study mathematical modeling social processes. It was fashionable. And in my second year at the Faculty of Psychology at Moscow State University, I realized that I was much more interested in psychotherapy. The faculty library had a three-volume Jung and a two-volume Freud. I have read both.

Jung put it aside. And Freud fascinated from the first pages, I continued to look for and read his books. I liked everything: the approach to the research, its style, the special conscientiousness of reflection and the language - the language, which, as I felt, accurately described the processes inner life human as opposed to language academic psychology. There was something wonderful and familiar in his language - as in "his" music or favorite poems.

For me, psychoanalysis has become just another piece of poetry. So at the age of eighteen I decided to become a psychoanalyst. Then in our country nowhere and no one taught psychoanalysis. Therefore, only many years later, the profession became a reality: personal analysis, a theoretical seminar, generous, enthusiastic teachers and, most importantly, a professional environment, colleagues, cooperation and a sense of comradeship.

Has anything changed since the first experiments? Certainly. Dreams are characteristic of youth, and they have infinity, grandiosity and an uplifting lightness over everything. And then the reality principle comes into play. It shortens its wings and presses down to the ground. This does not mean that you cannot soar or lose the feeling of lightness, but stability appears. You lose part of your optimism, but you become more modest, more humble and, in a sense, more trusting in life. Stop thinking that everything depends on you alone. You start learning. And you don't stop doing it until your memory fails.

"I dreamed of being different"

Mark Pevzner, psychotherapist, director of training programs

Since childhood, I dreamed of becoming a sailor: courageous, brave, strong. He was an emotional and very impressionable young man. After graduating from the shipbuilding technical school, I went to serve in the Navy, and after about a year and a half I realized that by nature I am not a military person. I was confused ... I began to read a lot: Romain Rolland, Leo Tolstoy, Vladimir Levy. And he carefully watched people - this opportunity was given by the closed space of ship life. By the end of my service, I had a strong desire to study psychology.

I entered Leningrad University, believing that it was there that I would find answers to the questions that tormented me. Later, while working as a medical psychologist, he met Alexander Badkhen, a psychiatrist and narcologist. This meeting determined my professional destiny. We both had a great interest in psychotherapy, we became associates and friends.

Psychotherapy revealed to me that the journey through inner world can be no less risky than sailing

In my youth, I looked for ways of self-improvement outside. And my life and professional experience taught that the main source of development is the internal resource of a person. Today I help people, believing in their ability to use internal resources and forces. And every time I am surprised how huge they are. They are fantastic! This is a real wealth that you can learn to manage, and therefore manage yourself and your life.

Psychotherapy has taught me that inner world travel can be as risky as sailing on the sea. I feel strong, resilient and courageous, which is largely due to the fact that I was able to accept myself for who I am. Emotionality, sensitivity, openness - earlier the manifestation of these qualities was perceived as a weakness, but today I understand that this is my gift, and therefore my strength.

“I wanted to understand how the world works”

Inna Khamitova, clinical psychologist, systemic family psychotherapist

It all started out of curiosity: I really wanted to figure out how the world works... After graduating from the physics department of Moscow State University, I even managed to work in my specialty. But when, in the early 1990s, funding for science was reduced to zero, the question arose: either emigrate or look for another niche. And since my interest in the secrets of the universe has not exhausted itself, my passion for psychology can be considered natural: the only difference was to study not the outer, but the inner world of a person.

There was a second reason: many people close to me just as suddenly found themselves thrown out of life ... We were looking for answers to the most difficult existential questions: why do we live, knowing about the inevitability of death. What drives us? How do we build relationships with people, being in an existential sense alone...

Finding myself at the Institute of Practical Psychology and Psychoanalysis, in an atmosphere of like-minded people, I was able to get closer to this goal. But the main surprise of the past years was how I changed myself during the years of study, my own psychotherapy, work with each client, each family.

It turns out that I went to psychotherapy to help people, but I began to understand myself better, to realize what is important and what is not. As a result, the attitude towards life has changed. Now I understand that at the age of thirty, when I first started this profession, I was completely different. I was guided mainly by a research interest in the inner world of a person, but now it is important for me to help people.

It's very nice when a client's quality of life changes, or when faced with tragic circumstances, he doesn't break down, but finds previously unknown resources in himself and even becomes happier. And it is always joyful to feel your involvement in this process.

“I was struck by a living human voice”

Ekaterina Mikhailova, psychotherapist, psychodrama specialist

As a child, I could lie for hours at the anthill and watch how colored beads appear and disappear on the surface of the ant dome. This research interest determined my professional choice- I entered Moscow State University in order to become a scientist.

In my third year at the Faculty of Psychology, my teacher Andrey Andreevich Puzyrey instructed me to translate one of the articles by Carl Rogers, in which an American psychotherapist described what was happening between him and a person who came for help. I was surprised and shocked that for the first time in scientific work I heard a live human voice! Thus, the unknown world of psychotherapy opened up to me, and, of course, I really wanted to look into it ...

In the early 1980s, this was only possible through English texts: we eagerly translated and discussed with colleagues, practicing psychologists, books of the founders of psychotherapy brought by someone from abroad, photocopies or typewriter printouts of their articles that fell into the hands of just a couple of evenings in the hands of the founders of psychotherapy.

In the early 90s, it became possible to go to study and invite psychotherapy stars to Moscow. We tried to learn and master different methods. I preferred psychodrama. This method cannot become obsolete, disappear or get bored, because the true author of what is happening in the session is not a psychotherapist, but a client, and a person cannot get bored with himself.

As the moderator of the session, it seems incredibly interesting to me, both then and now, to be with a person in a space where he is more alive and talented than in ordinary life, much more ready for discoveries, new experiences and incredible changes.

"I tried to resist the meaninglessness"

Alexander Chernikov, family psychotherapist

In 1985, I graduated from the Moscow Institute of Steel and Alloys and was assigned to the “box” - NPO Almaz. More recently, it was a "sharashka" where prisoners worked - research workers serving their sentences. My immediate supervisor is Dr. technical sciences, laureate Stalin Prize- was one of them in the 50s.

The walls of this institution still kept the spirit of the regime: there was a sentry on each floor, and I had to hand over my notebook with notes to the First Department. In general, I felt like a cog in an inhuman and senseless mechanism. Trying to cope with this condition, I took up mountain climbing. The mountains added variety to the experience, but the sense of meaninglessness persisted. I was stimulated to further searches by participation in one of the first psychological trainings, and in 1987 I ended up at Moscow State University at the Faculty of Psychology.

It felt like a window had been flung open in a stuffy room. I was fascinated by systemic family therapy and psychodrama - the analytics of one method and the energy of the other perfectly balanced each other. I completed my dissertation and began to specialize in the field of marital psychotherapy.

In counseling, I am constantly convinced that sincere and deep contact with loved ones is the most important antidote to falsehood. public life and existential anxiety of being. The meaning of life in general succeeds only when we do not lie to ourselves and are able to be close to another person, allow ourselves to be connected with him. And of course, psychotherapy better than any another profession teaches the acceptance of people, humility in front of someone else's autonomy and other person's dissimilarity to you.

Know the options available. In general, the role of a therapist is to want to help people by giving them advice, but there are many other specialties that also fit this description. Consider the following specialties similar to therapy:

Counselors help a specific segment of the population, such as a school or church. The consultant does not need special training to start practicing. Although the majority still attend courses to get a certificate for therapy.
Social workers have a master's degree and are usually employed by special agencies to work with certain families or individuals who need it. Some social workers specialize in counseling children.
Marriage and family therapists often deal with private practice and provide counseling for couples as well as therapy for families or individuals.
Psychologists hold doctorates and study a variety of approaches to therapy, including cognitive, behavioral, humanistic, and psychodynamic. They work with people experiencing depression and other mental illnesses. Psychologists spend psychological tests and therapeutic conversations with the patient, but, in most cases, do not have the right to prescribe drugs or other medical interventions.
Psychiatrists are actually real doctors who studied psychiatry after graduation. Faculty of Medicine. Psychiatrists perform medical tests, prescribe medications, and work with chief physicians and other psychotherapists to develop best course treatment for patients.

Chat with therapists. If you are in doubt and unsure which specialization in therapy is right for you, do research and talk to therapists who have already chosen their career path.

Different types of therapy have their own benefits and require specific skills. Psychologists, for example, spend time in research various kinds therapy. Social workers often face tense situations and mediate between upset parties. Learn from different therapists to see what works for you.
Ask therapists what education they received to become who they are.

Plan your career in therapy. Some degrees take many years to complete, and additional time is spent looking for a job and building a practice. As soon as you decide on the area of interest to you, draw up an action plan for yourself.

Get a bachelor's degree. It doesn't matter which type of therapy you choose, you need to start with a bachelor's degree. One should take into account the main discipline in psychology, and study both the exact sciences and the humanities, because. both open important role in the work of a therapist.
If you know exactly what kind of education you want to get, then make sure that you attend all the necessary preparatory courses.

01.02.2010, 08:43

Thanks in advance :aa:

01.02.2010, 08:50

01.02.2010, 09:41

Your sarcasm is not entirely appropriate.
There are also evening options. I also heard something about clinical psychology.

01.02.2010, 09:59

With your permission, I reserve the right to sarcasm in relation to specialists who want to get the right to more than responsible work at minimal cost.
There is no evening training for doctors.
Regarding a clinical psychologist - please decide what area of activity you are interested in - a clinical psychologist and a psychotherapist - completely different specialties (for more details - see the search - the topic was seriously discussed)

01.02.2010, 11:13

The young lady, who calls adults "guys" and expects a serious answer, really does not cause sarcasm, it's true. What's funny is yes.

01.02.2010, 11:48

To make it more clear to you, try to imagine yourself at the appointment with a specialist (to whom you turn with a vital problem for yourself), who has completed correspondence courses and owns some theory for general idea about the subject, but without the practical development of skills. Will you go to such a "specialist"? Or the evening option that you are talking about - do you know how the program of evening parties fundamentally differs from full-time ones?

01.02.2010, 22:15

I'm glad you find it funny. They say laughter prolongs life.
After all, the question is simpler, the point is not even to become a doctor, but how you can improve your skills. Why take everything to extremes. Yes, it's funny to you, you are a professional with experience. But is it bad when there is a desire to become one?
I understand that no one cares about my problems, but still, if I feel that it is "mine" and see myself in this area and really want to achieve some success.
I am not looking for easy ways, on the contrary, I am ready to give all my strength.
And in person I would really like to study, but there is no way to pay for tuition.
How can you judge my seriousness? Have you seen me, talked to me personally, heard any recommendations about me? Why so attack for an informal appeal to you?
I only asked for advice from more experienced colleagues to beginning students. It is a pity that your negative reaction is based only on baseless suspicions.

01.02.2010, 22:44

If this is the first higher education in life full-time- you have every right to enroll in free. The first two years you will have to sniff a lot of stinking formalin corpses - if this does not scare you - go ahead. The first three years - study without lifting your ass.
Then - a lot of reading. Then - engage in scientific society. Then - a year of internship. Then - two years of residency. Then - to work for five to ten years. Understand that you know very little, and you will always have to read a lot. Usually in English. After that, it will also be funny, really, really.

And then there is such a thing as personal therapy. It is not necessary to go into a profession - to be treated. This is called acquiring something for yourself at the expense of patients.

01.02.2010, 23:25

Annabella, with all due respect, you didn't quite get the point.

01.02.2010, 23:27

Colleagues quite legitimately "attacked".

For my part, I will add that in the West, psychotherapists are considered specialists, psychiatrists or clinical psychologists who received additional education in psychotherapy, i.e. practically, the second highest. It can also be obtained in the evening.
That. following the Western example, you can call yourself a psychotherapist, but not a sexologist. There are no sexologists - psychologists, only doctors. Yes, and a psychotherapist-psychologist is not in the legal field of the Russian Federation.
The program of additional education in psychotherapy necessarily includes personal psychotherapy - the study of one's own psychological problems.

01.02.2010, 23:40

Is it right to "attack" people? And this is what the psychotherapist says?

01.02.2010, 23:57

When you get older, you will understand ... That you need to respect other people's boundaries, and in general, treat other people with respect. In the meantime, only, forgive me, a teenager is visible, who ruffles in communication with adults. It will pass, what matters is what experience you get out of it.

After all, you can take it as: "offended a mouse, wrote in a mink", or you can "thank God, I got it on the nose not in life, but on the Internet, I will conclude that familiarity and lack of education are poorly perceived."

Alas, most people learn exclusively from their own bruises and bumps :)

02.02.2010, 00:24

Well, I like your answer too. more humane

02.02.2010, 00:28

and I will draw conclusions: ah:

26.03.2010, 22:43

Guys, share your advice! :friends:
I am a 3rd year student humanitarian institute specialty "psychologist". But in the future, I would like something more serious than consulting. Maybe somehow it is possible further along the course of professional retraining or for additional. learning to become a sexologist or psychotherapist? Or how is it generally done?
P.S. The full-time option of studying at a medical institute does not quite suit me.
Thanks in advance :aa:
Try to find interesting courses for yourself in any area of psychology. Now there are many institutes that train specialists in the field of humanistic psychotherapy (existential analysis, Gestalt therapy, etc.), psychoanalysis, etc. To begin with, this will not take you much time, and if you are interested, you can engage in and develop in the chosen direction very seriously and deeply, God willing. Or maybe you like clinical psychology. Yes, and consultations can be conducted very seriously and you can learn this all your life, as well as medical practice. You don't have to go to honey. institute to do something seriously. And what do you mean by the word "more serious" and why do you need it "more seriously" !?

25.06.2010, 00:17

I want to stand up for Tofee. I did not expect that adults, self-sufficient, it would seem, people would be offended by the fact that they are called Guys. In Holland, Sweden, in the USA, and possibly in many other countries, psychotherapy can be practiced not only by doctors, it is enough to complete a certified course in one or another PT. In Sweden, I myself personally talked with a nurse who practices cognitive behavioral therapy.

And how to change yourself. This is a qualified specialist who understands the laws of human behavior, understands the true essence of the human soul. However, the work of a psychologist is covered with numerous myths that do not allow you to correctly assess all the subtleties and nuances of this specialty. Many people dream of it, but only a few can become true psychologists. How to become a competent specialist?

University education

Since it is impossible to become a psychologist without an appropriate education, the first thing to do on this path is to get a diploma. After all, without it, the activity will be regarded as illegal. Also, if a person wants to be a practicing psychologist, and not just a researcher, he needs to clarify whether practical directions psychotherapy at the university where he plans to study. It is best to collect reviews about this university, ask for an opinion former graduates. Particular attention in the process of studying at a university should be given to the development of students' practical skills in working with people.

Training programs for psychotherapists

But getting a diploma of higher education is far from the end. After graduation, students are not yet ready to work with people directly. University education only provides common understanding what psychology is. To become a qualified specialist, it is necessary to go through a special program, according to which psychotherapists are trained.

Many are interested in why it takes so long to study psychology? After all, it takes decades of hard work to become a true master. In fact, only after that the specialist gets the opportunity to help people solve their problems, significantly accelerate personal growth. Many issues are almost impossible to solve without a competent psychologist.

Age is welcome

This is one of the few professions where age is an advantage. After all, it is unlikely mature person, who has years of experience behind him, will share problems with a twenty-year-old girl, even if she has a mountain of diplomas. In the work of a psychologist necessary condition is the trust between client and therapist. In other words, there must be empathy. Without it, it is impossible to create rapport; if a person does not trust the therapist, or if for some reason the specialist causes hostility, therapy will not be of any use. That is why in psychology age is an undeniable trump card. After all, the one who is rich personal experience always inspires confidence.

Learn to read non-verbal cues

About 70% of all information about oneself a person gives out not through speech, but through facial expressions, gestures, body posture. If a psychologist learns to understand body language, he will be able to direct the dialogue in the right direction. What was not said aloud will be said through gestures and facial expressions. For example, if a person tilts his head forward, the movements of his hands are fast, but their amplitude is small, then this indicates his openness. If the client looks at the surrounding objects, shifts from foot to foot, crosses his arms over his chest, it means that he does not like the situation, and the topic of conversation is not of interest.

For those thinking about how to become a psychologist, it is useful to watch our smaller brothers. After all, all they can do is express their emotions non-verbally, with the help of "meow" and "woof", wagging their tail, rumbling or sniffling. They can convey their mood to everyone accessible ways except speech.

Learn to listen

Since becoming a psychologist is impossible for those who are not able to listen, this skill must be given Special attention. There are many people who do not allow a single word to be inserted into their copious monologue. Even if their long tirade really illuminates interesting topic, the very fact of disrespect for the opinion of the interlocutor becomes key. A silent interlocutor is always much more attractive than one who, during his speech, does not bother to hear the opinion of his counterpart. A conversation will not be fruitful if each of its participants hears only himself. Therefore, a novice psychologist cannot do without this skill.

How to become a psychologist yourself

Some choose this way of mastering the science of the soul. However, it must be remembered here that a psychologist without proper education and certification cannot advertise his services and make money on this craft. Indeed, in this case, his services will be a violation of the current legislation.

However, psychology can be a great hobby. A person can say to himself: “I want to become a psychologist” - and at the same time not have in mind getting special education. After all, the word "psychologist" can have another meaning. One who is perceptive and well versed in people is often said: "He is a subtle psychologist." And it does not matter whether this person is a salesman, manager, doctor or artist by profession. He has a flair with which he skillfully recognizes the movements of the human soul.

What does it take to become a psychologist of this kind? The answer is simple: read as much relevant literature as possible, absorb knowledge. One can also pay attention to the works of the luminaries of the science of the soul. For example, you can start with psychoanalysis. Many will be interested in the works of Freud, Jung, Adler. They shed a lot on the characteristics of the human psyche, behavior, and personality development. It is also worth paying attention to such areas as Gestalt therapy, NLP, behaviorism, existential psychology.

So how to become a good psychologist hardly possible without the ability to understand people, it will be useful to pay attention to various films, books, especially classics. They describe various characters, many of which can be called collective. The characters in the books act according to their own motives, which do not change even after centuries. After all, people have always wanted to be happy, healthy, achieve their goals, enjoy the joys of love. Therefore, such works will teach a lot to a novice psychologist, help to recognize certain models of behavior in reality.

Therapy for the specialist

How to become a successful psychologist? - sometimes university graduates and novice specialists ask themselves. The first thing to do is to fully undergo psychotherapy yourself. After all, only a healthy person can lead another to spiritual healing. A neurotic who has not got rid of his own complexes can only aggravate the situation. Ultimately, everything you need to know to become a good psychologist comes from own experience. Is he undergoing psychotherapy or studying for own mistakes- every truth of life is learned through experience. You can be a theoretical psychologist, but if you do not experience this or that postulate "on your own skin", it is unlikely that you will be able to successfully use these tools. There is nothing surprising in the fact that the services of a psychotherapist are currently so expensive. After all, only after the novice specialist fully got rid of his own mental trauma, and also received appropriate practice on additional courses with all the necessary certificates, he can begin to practice.

Why do people become psychologists?

Often, an applicant or just anyone who wants to think about how to become a psychologist, not because of the true vocation. If you ask a person what drives him to this path, he may answer: "I want to help people." However, in reality, many of those who are interested in psychology need help themselves. Getting an education is not the best way to deal with personal problems. Therefore, in this case, you should first contact a good specialist and undergo a course of therapy. Only after that you can think about how to become a psychologist and what is needed for this.

Practice

And finally, and most importantly, to become a good specialist, you need not only long-term training, but also many years of practice with clients, working with human problems. It is not easy for a novice psychologist to build up his base, to promote services. However, without work experience, a psychologist will be called so only formally. Only having lived with dozens of clients their difficulties and problems, correlating the methods of psychology with real practice and gaining invaluable experience, a specialist can adequately bear this title.

Therefore, to become professional psychologist, after getting an education, you need to study as well and promote your services. To do this, the specialist needs to understand what distinguishes him from others like him. How can he help people? What can he offer the client? Would he address himself if he were a client? For all these important questions truthful answers must be given.

Often there is confusion in terms and people do not understand how a psychologist differs from a psychotherapist, and a psychotherapist from a psychiatrist, for example.

If a person does not remember who he is, does not understand where he is, what time of the year and what time it is - this is a psychiatrist. They work with mentally ill people whose brains, blood vessels, nervous system, and from this the character changes, hallucinations appear. In these cases, mainly only pills and injections help.

Psychologist and psychotherapist work only with healthy people. The main difference between them is that the first one can help you adapt to the situation that you have, and the second one can help you fundamentally change the situation in better side. A psychologist can call himself one who has received a higher psychological education and a certificate giving the right to conduct individual consultations. The psychologist can listen to you, nod your head and ask how you think to solve this problem. He mainly works with emotions: as practice shows, people do not know how to recognize them. For example, at trainings I included a recording in which the same phrase was pronounced with different emotions. And asked what kind of emotion now? All of them were wrong. Ideally, a psychologist is an assistant to a psychotherapist.

A psychotherapist is one of the highest paid professions in medicine, at the level of a dentist, a surgeon. It helps to correct the mistakes of upbringing, improve life, make a career, develop character, resolve difficult situations and get out of stress. To learn to be a psychotherapist, you need to spend 12 years of your life. This is if you study correctly: medical school, residency in psychiatry and psychology, internships. For comparison, it takes seven to eight years to become a neurosurgeon.

About stereotypes

The idea of the work of a psychotherapist for many has developed under the influence of American films. A husband and wife are sitting on the couch and, interrupting each other, tell what infuriates them in each other, and the psychotherapist, as an arbiter, gives the floor to one or the other and makes the final verdict. This picture is far from Russian reality. Of course, sometimes married couples turn together, but very rarely. Basically, a person comes who is more interested in maintaining relationships and more mature personally.

We have a bad name for the profession and low level education of the population, although we do not want to admit it. But when urea and urine are the same for people, it is understandable why they do not distinguish between the concepts of "psycho" and "psychotherapist". For us, psychology is such a horoscope-psychic science. Psychology has never received enough attention in Russia, especially if we recall Soviet times. In our country, the role of a psychologist is often performed by a random fellow traveler in transport or a neighbor in the stairwell. Emotional support provides temporary relief, but does not solve the problem. And at the same time you get emotional dependence.

According to statistics, one in three walks down the street with an anxiety-depressive disorder, that is, under stress, and tries to cope with bad mood independently, by force of will. And it doesn't go away on its own. In the West, people have more confidence in such specialists, they are more conscientious about recommendations and queues for a psychotherapist for six months ahead. There, for example, a video camera is installed in the client's apartment to record family conflicts, and then step by step to analyze the mistakes together with a psychologist. This is a good method, because people who are prone to causing suffering to others tend to overlook their mistakes.

About clients

Mostly people with an income much higher than the average come. These are top managers, business owners, officials, these are people who have two higher educations, postgraduate studies and three foreign languages. They understand that the word "psychotherapy" is not the same as "psycho". The higher the financial level, the more people willing to spend on psychotherapy, because he understands how much it affects life. There are among my clients and very famous people they have the same problems as everyone else. But they are harder to trust. It is harder for them morally due to the fact that they are an order of magnitude more educated, more successful in some areas and less likely to encounter sincerity and decency in their lives than others.

For example, just by talking with any person for two or three minutes, I can almost accurately determine whether he has problems and what. Every word, gesture and facial expression, every slip of the tongue, even how a person sits, how he reacts to words - all this is a story about what happened to him. Psychology is mathematical exact science, its algorithms are very complex, but they exist.

About incompetence

There was a scandal when a man decided that he was a dentist, bought a chair, wire, building cement for himself at home, and began to offer his services to all the neighbors in the entrance. He was sued. You’ll get to this - then you won’t believe in dentists at all. We now have a lot of such people with wire in the profession. 90% of people who called themselves psychotherapists are those who went to two-month courses for no one knows where, they were given a piece of paper that they were psychologists, and for greater persuasiveness they called themselves a psychologist-therapist.

A few years ago, there was a law according to which any doctor - no matter if a urologist, gynecologist or therapist - could take short courses and become a psychotherapist. Now, thank God, the law has been changed and you still need to have a basic psychotherapeutic education. It is not customary for us to check diplomas. If you come to me, I will get you a pack of 36 certificates, among them there will be from King's College in London, a certificate of completion of residency, which, by the way, must be renewed every five years.

A person pays you not for the time when they sat with him, but for the fact that you have not kissed for 12 years
at the entrance, and crammed textbooks

A person does not pay you for the time when they sat with him and nodded their heads. He pays for the fact that you didn’t kiss at the entrance for 12 years, but crammed textbooks and know all the work algorithms. You must give the person several options for solving the problem and say which one will lead to which result. For example, a person went to a psychotherapist for a year, talked, the specialist listened to him, but did not say anything, because he supposedly had to approach the solution of the problem himself. This is what incompetence is. People who got to such people say later that psychologists themselves are crazy and this science is not clear about what.

People who got to professionals, then their phone is passed from hand to hand. The result of working with a competent psychotherapist: you get a highly paid job, you improve personal life, your relationship with your parents normalizes, you become more emotionally open, capable of intimacy. This is the result of 10-20 hours of work, no more. What is there to smear for years? Only if there are very serious injuries, when violence was committed against a person - then yes. And so, it happens that you go to a psychologist, and he told you all his problems, and you paid him more money.

About Methods

The human psyche has a structure, like programs in a computer: they are complex, there are signs of breakage at every level, methods of repair. The task of the psychotherapist is to determine the levels where a person has a failure, give a program and work strictly according to it: a certain sequence of questions and answers, exercises. For example, people fought for years, and after several hours of working with a competent specialist, they stopped taking out each other's brains, because they saw the relationship between what they were doing and what their parents were doing.

When people begin to realize that they are constantly copying patterns of behavior, they understand the full value of our science. We are like computers: the way we are programmed is the way we work. If we were given DOS, and we want Windows, then we need to go to a psychotherapist. If you have been told many times that you are stupid and incapable of anything, you will, even being talented, sit and think why I earn so little. Because you have such a program - "do not succeed, do not stick out, do not bring the matter to the end." My task is for a person to notice this in himself and correct it.

Each session with a psychotherapist is strictly scheduled. The specialist has a work protocol, the topic of the lesson, exercises in given sequence and exercises that a person should do at home. There are two tests that can be used to determine the status of a new client: the Zung test and the Sheehan test. The first determines the presence and level of depression, the second - the state of anxiety. Severe anxiety, for example, is when it is difficult to fall asleep, you scroll in your head who said what and how offended you, when your legs are wadded and your palms are sweating, when it is difficult to breathe and there is emptiness in your head. If a person has less than 48 points on the Zung test and less than 50 on the Shihan test, everything is not so neglected, you can also consult via Skype. If the indicators go off scale, I work only full-time.

When a client comes to me for the first time, I ask him to bring the results of these tests to the consultation, to take a test for social phobia, personality questionnaire and other. It takes me four minutes to analyze this data, after which I know how a person will react to stress, what profession suits him best, whether he is in a pre-divorce situation. By the way, according to the vector of contact attraction, you can predict a divorce in four years.

Real changes in life come in a few months, on average - in six months. Clients call, invite to restaurants, ask if we can recommend you to everyone. We have all the laws in the psyche, as well as in the body, go by a smooth build up to critical point and then move on to the next level.

About earnings

The first thing they ask when they find out that I am a psychotherapist: is it true that you earn so much? The cost in Moscow today ranges from 500 to 20,000 rubles for a consultation. The session lasts about an hour, sometimes longer. It all depends on the complexity of the request and on the method of work itself. The entire course is a minimum of 10 sessions, an average of 10-20, a maximum of 50-60. My consultation is expensive - $ 500, because I work for the result and solve the problem in a maximum of 20 hours. But I know that it also happens that if a psychotherapist does not have many clients, he can stretch everything out for a year.

About rules and ethics

There are two main rules in psychotherapy. First, never work with relatives and friends. Second - go through personal therapy, without this you do not have the right to advise. Relatives and friends are a system close to you, and professionalism implies detachment.

People often ask, are you okay? You say no, not everything, because I am also a living person, but I have ways, I can solve my problems more efficiently and faster. “Didn’t you have anything at all as a child?” You tell the truth: you went through psychotherapy, there was garbage, you healed, so this does not affect your work.

Ideally, a psychotherapist should go through two to three thousand hours of personal therapy so as not to project his problems onto the client, and only then he can be allowed to practice. To get so many hours of personal therapy, you have to be a rich man, a poor man cannot afford it. People who have not undergone personal psychotherapy, clients begin to annoy after six months.

We are taught how not to get involved in emotional contact so that there is no burnout. You communicate emotionally, but you are not touched by the client's problems. During work, I constantly monitor the state of my muscles, and if they are tensed, then the problem has caught on and I have to undergo a personal therapy session. This allows you to lead ten clients a day and not burn out.

There are words that hurt, hurt, there are words that heal. A professional should not say “you should”, “you should”, “this is wrong”, “you must” or start blaming. A professional does not use abstruse terms, he can explain complex terms simply. For example, a man comes to me for a consultation and says: he went to a psychologist, told the whole family situation, gave advice: “Reflect the archetypal prototype of the great-grandmother.” Man with two higher education I didn’t understand anything, but I was ashamed to look like an idiot. In principle, the specialist correctly identified the problem: a man copies the same models that he inherited from his maternal great-grandmother. But the main sign of professionalism is when a person explains everything in a language that is understandable to you.

About problems and their solutions

When we start a family, we must agree on 40 points. Everyone has their own ideas about what a family should be like. For example, he has an idea - to travel a lot together, and she has to stay at home. He has a wife to peel potatoes, and she has a husband. When we agree on a relationship, we must understand whether we are suitable for each other sexually. Everyone has their own quirks.

Both are always to blame for family problems: if one creates a problem, then the second suffers it and does not know what to do, which means it supports unhealthy relationships. As a rule, it is the wife who brings the family to the psychotherapist's office, because women are less likely to consider themselves right and more prone to introspection. Men often tend to think that they are right, even when they are clearly wrong.

When you teach people emotion management techniques, they are afraid they will be like robots.

The main thing I teach families is to express their expectations, desires, dissatisfaction directly, to talk to each other in a positive, reinforcing, constructive manner about how to reach a compromise in the family. Women often try to decide whether to endure betrayal, drunkenness, humiliation of their husband if they are financially dependent on him. Another often asked: remake him or her so that he or she loves me the way I want. When you teach people emotion management techniques, they are afraid they will be like robots. But not at all, you will feel the same, only you can choose whether to yell at you at a person or say calmly about what does not suit you.

I have been counseling families for 12 years and more and more often I meet with the question of how to maintain relationships and be financially successful, provided that a man is not ready to accept the success and independence of a woman.

And finally, my “favorite” request from the client: give me a pill so that I don’t see or hear anything that’s going on at home and at work, and I don’t have to do anything, because it’s difficult. I refuse to work with clients who abdicate responsibility for their lives and wait for the psychologist to do everything for them. This is infantilism, when a person does not want to change himself, but requires changes from a partner.

Interview: Svetlana Gavrilova