How to identify a midlife crisis in women. Symptoms and stages of midlife crisis in women

Is it all over?

43-50 years is a critical moment in a woman’s life. After all, by this age she had already completed most of the “tasks” of her life: she started a family, gave birth and raised a child (maybe more than one), built a career, furnished a home - in fact, she had stepped over the middle of her path. And the question involuntarily arises before her: why, for what and how to live further? The usual points of application of energy have disappeared, and with them, sometimes, the meaning of life... The psychological state of a woman at this moment can be characterized in two words: “hidden pain,” pain about which there is nothing to say out loud. External signs well-being - marriage, children, favorite job - no longer satisfy, but what hurts inside and interferes with life is difficult to understand.

Oddly enough, most men of a similar age do not experience such problems: they have hobbies, friends, in general, there are ways of self-realization. A woman is often too “busy” with others important matters In order to maintain close relationships with friends or engage in creativity, she had too much trouble with growing children and everyday worries. But the time has come when the children have achieved independence, the relationship with the husband is on track, and life is smooth. The woman sees no prospects for herself. It is at this age that the number of breakups with a previous partner, with whom you have lived your life, increases. And it also happens that alcohol becomes a way to cope with the situation.

Crisis of 50 years in women: psychology

The cause of the crisis is a deep desire to be needed, loved, in demand: a psychologist can help realize these needs. A woman needs bright emotions that evoke love, motherhood, and newness in relationships. These desires can be realized in different ways: someone, for example, purposefully seeks new acquaintances and connections. But these attempts to reshape life are doomed to failure, because in this way you can only get a surrogate. A woman over 40 is too wise to not notice the shortcomings of her new partner. For her, it is illogical to immerse herself in the life of the body, when the perception of the world and oneself mainly comes “through the head”: through understanding, awareness, comparison with lived experience. A deeper understanding of the problem is that a woman feels horror that life has not yet been lived, there is still unspent energy, and the body is already aging, and the usual points of application of strength (children, husband, career) no longer need hourly attention.

Be yourself

It is possible that the process of overcoming the crisis of 50 years for women will not be too fast: according to experts, this is due to age characteristics, the coincidence of a psychological crisis with age-related, physiological changes in the body. But psychologists agree that the most effective solution The problem will be reformulating your desires and needs in such a way as to aim not at receiving emotions, but at maximizing your investment. As paradoxical as it sounds, it is by giving and investing that you can receive much more positive warm feelings rather than demanding attention. The feeling that you yourself are creating something interesting, beautiful, or simply doing a good and useful thing, that you are busy, that you are creating - this is exactly what women so often lack.

The next stage in overcoming the crisis of the age of 50 for women will be to take responsibility for what is happening in your life: independently fill it with the necessary things, events, people, feelings - and, therefore, turn the situation around! Yes, it can be very difficult to break the mold and go learn to play the piano at the age of 45, pick up a brush and paints for the first time after school, go to Pilates - do something that is not customary, but is very necessary for your own peace of mind and well-being.

Midlife crisis can happen to both men and women. In women, it occurs between the ages of 40 and 55 years. At this time, women experience physiological changes associated with the premenopausal period or menopause. It lasts a long time and is accompanied by depression, sadness, despair, low self-esteem and other negative experiences, but?

1. Midlife crisis symptoms in women

Everything comes together: the body begins to age, the age in the passport, grown children, elderly parents (and perhaps they have already died), a society that glorifies youth and success, a decrease physical capabilities. A woman begins to understand that old age is approaching, her life has already been lived and she has not had time to do much. There is a reassessment of one’s existence and oneself. Revaluation is not in better side. Panic and fear of the future sets in - I didn’t have time to do a lot, but I want so much. Physiological and psychological problems can ruin your health.
For women this is the most difficult period. In addition to the fact that a woman undergoes hormonal changes in her body, the woman also changes externally - she noticeably ages, her energy fades. The appearance changes, less strength is produced, sexuality goes away. It is very difficult to come to terms with this, especially in a society where there is a cult of youth and perfect beauty. In addition, in our society there is a negative attitude towards old age. And if in youth old age seems something distant, you don’t want to think about it, then in mature age Each person measures it against himself. The woman becomes stressed.
During such a period, many women try to drown out this internal pain from the struggle with old age. Each one acts differently. Some are completely immersed in work, others go into religion. Still others go on a spree. All these methods bring a therapeutic effect - abstraction and changes in thinking aimed at how to survive a midlife crisis in women.
The causes of a midlife crisis may be unresolved problematic issues adolescence, temporarily “asleep” and seemingly abandoned in the past, right at this time they fall on the person anew. Most of“Revolts of forty-year-olds” are nothing more than responses of unfinished adolescent rebellion. If a person did not feel it in his teenage years, he suddenly realizes that he still exists and functions according to extraneous rules, and it’s time to be independent. From here comes the thirst to find yourself and your personal path. The turning point of half of life pushes for a change in attitude towards the importance of things; another name for it is an identity crisis.

2. When a woman has a midlife crisis

A turning point may come as a consequence of success. By the age of 40, people generally reach established heights in their profession and make a career. And then a person has natural questions: how to live further? If this is the apogee, does that mean it's only down? How to gain a foothold at this peak if young people are already pushing you from behind? Maybe change your occupation? Often a woman also suffers from the fact that it seems to her that she has achieved nothing in life, and there is no time for new achievements. This is also facilitated by the rapid increase in the appreciation in our environment of ostentatious wealth and success. Under all these circumstances, how to survive a midlife crisis in women?
In the middle of life's journey changes public role men and women. In the family, he or she first becomes a father and mother, and then a grandfather and grandmother; at work, from an inexperienced trainee to an experienced mentor. Parents are getting old and require care and support. Still, not everyone is disposed to such a sharp change of roles, to circumstances when they have to rely only on personal strength, to be fully responsible not only for themselves, but also for other people. In conclusion, an understanding of fleeting existence comes. A person realizes that the world no longer provides credit for his future, and much is no longer feasible.
A significant risk factor leading to the onset of a crisis is an ostentatious concentration on success, from which not only monetary well-being is expected, but also love and happiness. But the final categories are rather the result of interest in oneself and in people, relationships, love, for which careerists most often do not have enough time. Another threat is fixation on one’s own physical condition, appearance, well-being. IN in this case main fear: losing beauty, youth, and with them the love of loved ones and enjoyment of life.

3. Signs of a midlife crisis in women

everything is not satisfactory, irritability and neglect of established relationships have appeared;
a woman who is active in life suddenly falls into depression, apathy, laziness, and sloppiness in appearance appear;
mood changes frequently;
a woman has a feeling of the end of her life, she begins to take stock of her existence and evaluate herself and her achievements;
dissatisfaction with work, family and men appears;
search for material well-being;
changing behavior, entertainment and clothing to a youth style - as a desire to look younger;
sudden change in sexual behavior;

4. Midlife crisis in women: what to do?

With certain things beyond our control, we simply need to take them for granted. Some - re-realize. But, most importantly, to answer the question you need to find something that is not subject to time and conditions within yourself.

First, comprehend and accept as an inevitable fact the onset of this middle age. A middle-aged woman dressed like a teenage girl looks very funny. After all, the charm of every woman lies in looking natural. But openness is a very seductive quality.
You must protect yourself, your beloved one, in everything, starting with reducing working hours and have a good rest(full sleep, time in nature, dosed physical activity). Chronic exhaustion inevitably leads to irritability and nervousness.
You need to transform your view of any work performed in the office, at work or at home. If you don't get satisfaction from it or it bothers you, then something needs to change.
Find yourself a hobby if you don't already have one. Connect with colleagues about your hobby. This will help expand your circle of friends and acquaintances, while spending more time for your benefit. Change your usual way of life.
If you have difficult relationships in your family, this can only indicate ignorance of you or your loved ones. That's why close people and relatives are there to help in difficult times. Build trusting relationship in the family, talk about your problems, ask for help.
There is no need to be afraid of retirement, because this is the stage of life when you will have the opportunity to do what you love, travel more and live the way you want. You will also have the opportunity to show off your creative talents.
Look at everything that's happening to you with real eyes, try to understand what is happening to you. Analyze your life objectively. Contact a psychologist who will help you find a way out of your crisis state and answer your question how to survive a midlife crisis in women.

5. How to overcome a midlife crisis in women

The turning point of middle age makes it possible to exist the way you want, and not your family and friends. After all, a lot of things are instilled in us from childhood. A child who idolizes his parents trusts them infinitely and copies his existence from them, copying and obeying. The family forms its opinion about life through all generations. This can be compared with the glasses through which we look at the environment and which are handed down by inheritance - the perception of the environment. A person, growing up, takes the path made by his ancestors and society: study, work, get married, achieve all material benefits, have children, build a career - and then everything necessary for life will be available. People obediently study, work, have children, and earn their place in the sun. And then the road ended, but we didn’t reach the goal: where is the happiness? Most people treat life as a story. We calmly turn over one page after another, waiting for the creator to finally reveal to us the full meaning of the work on the very last page. But we don't find it. The person begins to rush around in search of a way out and the “promised happiness.”
The turning point of half your life can easily become the beginning of a fresh recovery. We must not forget that just such a period contributed to the development of many famous personalities. However, in answer to the question how to survive a midlife crisis in women, It is absolutely not necessary to radically change your life - you can continue to follow the same path. But at the same time, analyze the past years, realize what we need and what we don’t. The most important thing is to perceive your life path, but now consciously, and continue to multiply what we have achieved. Try not only to add years to life, but also life to years. Be yourself and be proud of your achievements over the past stage of life.

Once in the life of every person there comes a time of reassessment of values, when you can look back and see your mistakes, wrong decisions, analyze the results of your efforts, and draw conclusions about your achievements. Very often, pragmatic and self-critical people modern society There is not enough self-confidence and strength to accept your own shortcomings, come to terms with the mistakes you have made in your life, try to correct the situation and change your life for the better. Not many people have enough self-confidence to simply start everything with clean slate. And then somewhere in the depths of a person’s soul a feeling of confusion, depression and hopelessness appears, which is replaced by despair. Depression sets in, which is called a midlife crisis.

Each person finds his own reason for worry. Some people, having reached unprecedented heights in their careers, realize that they completely forgot about their family and missed the most important and trembling moments of their own children growing up, and some sadly think that they never had a real family. Someone's getting tired of rented apartment, uninteresting work and a constant lack of money, and someone, having their own business, suddenly experiences the betrayal of a partner and the collapse of the company. One person cannot come to terms with the fact that all his friends have achieved some kind of success, and only he cannot find a normal job, while another, who grew up career ladder so much so that he no longer sees prospects for further development. Everyone's thoughts are different, but every person one day begins to understand how his dreams diverge from reality. And time is running out and there are fewer and fewer opportunities to realize your plans and achieve your goals.

How long does a midlife crisis last?

The midlife crisis occurs at the age of 30-45 and lasts 2-3 years. This time is different for everyone. But the most critical age for women is considered to be the period of 30-35 years. For men, the crisis begins later, at the age of 40-45 years.

The reason for the early onset of midlife crisis in women is:

The responsibility placed on women for bearing and raising children, as well as the age limits imposed by society. It is not customary to give birth to a first child after 30-35 years, and yet many women, out of a desire to get a decent education and find Good work are in no hurry to start a family.
The first signs of withering of the female body are when, at the age of 30-35, wrinkles begin to appear on the face, the figure changes after the birth of children, and there is practically no time left for oneself. Men can ignore special attention on their appearance and have the opportunity to concentrate on work, which women simply cannot afford.
Loss of strength when it is no longer possible, as in my youth, to stay awake at night and find time to meet with friends in the most hectic schedule.
Difficulties interacting with the opposite sex. If a woman over 30 is still single, it is much more difficult for her to find a life partner. Since she no longer subconsciously puts sexuality in first place, which all young people possess. They become important to her personal qualities. And if men do not meet all the criteria, a woman has a feeling of hopelessness and doom to loneliness.
Inability to realize one's own goals and desires. Those girls who live with their parents for a long time, listen to their advice and do not have the opportunity to realize their own ideas and desires, experience the midlife crisis most acutely.

Midlife crisis in women manifests itself in irritability and nervousness. A depressive state is accompanied by apathy, laziness, and you don’t want to do even basic, familiar things. The woman experiences sudden mood swings, optimism and enthusiasm are suddenly replaced by disappointment and helplessness. Satisfaction from work disappears, your family is not happy, you want to turn off your phone altogether so as not to hear the cheerful and cheerful voices of your friends. Another constant “attribute” of a midlife crisis is thoughts about death, which increasingly begin to arise in a person’s depressed consciousness.

When a midlife crisis begins, women very often leave their husbands in search of a wealthier partner, change their clothing style and hairstyle, or begin to look for new entertainment, often abusing alcohol.

How to overcome a midlife crisis

If you don’t know how to survive a midlife crisis, try to relax, rest more often, find a new hobby that will help you recharge yourself with positivity.

Calmly analyze whether you like the job. Don't be afraid to take a step towards change and, at a minimum, send ten of your resumes to those companies where you would really like to work.

If your loved ones annoy you, try to restrain yourself so as not to make fatal mistakes. They are certainly not to blame for your problems.

Despite the apparent drama of the situation, a midlife crisis always ends with the formation of new goals and life attitudes. A person realizes that his time is limited and begins to appreciate every minute of his life. A woman begins to take care of the feelings of her children and husband. She begins to find pleasant moments in her family life, notice good things that you didn’t pay attention to before.

The life of a person who has experienced a midlife crisis becomes more stable. It is no longer governed by spontaneous decisions and violent emotions, but by wisdom, mutual respect and compromise.

A woman after 35 becomes a more holistic and harmonious person. All those ideals and values between which the young and insecure girl in adolescence, fade into the background. Now the woman already has her own life experience, her knowledge, and she is able to choose her own path. And the midlife crisis is precisely the crossroads at which every person stops one day. But philosophers have long said: do not be afraid of crossroads, even if you can only take one of the roads. Where paths diverge, there is a great force that gives the wanderer energy and helps him make the right choice.

Most often, the midlife crisis occurs in women aged 35-40 years. Women, unlike men, spend their whole lives pursuing their main goals: building a career, getting married and having beautiful children. For a woman it has great importance home and family. Not every woman can perfectly combine housework, raising children and a career. Somewhere and in something she is not keeping up. Then she begins to think and worry about what she did wrong, why she didn’t achieve what she wanted. And then the worst moments in life emerge. In this state, a woman tries to change everything, makes desperate attempts and most often to no avail.

The main causes of the crisis in women

Appearance. Nowadays there is a cult of beauty and eternal youth. Women go to great lengths to prolong their youth. But you can’t escape nature. With the appearance of the first wrinkles and the first gray hair, the mood of any woman changes. Even training can't cope physical fitness. Elasticity is lost and overweight. And what is the woman thinking about? What along with her youth will she lose and woman's happiness. That the husband will find someone else, young and beautiful. And at work, more and more preference is given to young specialists. It's very difficult to accept yourself as you get older. And then the woman experiences periods of anger and despair.
Physiological changes. By the age of 40, a woman’s reproductive function gradually decreases. Menstruation is irregular and fewer and fewer eggs are produced. Hormonal changes occur. Some women who do not have children suffer greatly from the fact that they did not realize their main task, did not give birth. This is also the reason why husbands leave for younger people and leave the family. How to live now when there is no husband, no children and youth is leaving.
Unrealized plans. Some women devoted all their energy and time to family and children and did not complete their career plans. And now they can push family and children into the background and rush to catch up with what they lost. In this state, a woman is ready to make any sacrifice just to achieve her goal.
Change of generations. At this age, a woman can lose her parents. This can lead to serious depression. Children grow up, get married and leave home. Sometimes even getting married doesn't bring much joy. The house is empty, but what to do next?

From the reasons listed above, it becomes clear in what psychological state there may be a woman. A long-term depressive state affects both relationships with your husband and relationships with work colleagues.

Main symptoms:

Boredom and complete apathy.
Desire to change jobs.
Change your husband or find a lover.
Constant fear and anxiety.
Low self-esteem.
Frequent mood swings from tears to unmotivated fun.

During this period of life, the support and help of loved ones is needed. In more severe cases, psychologists and psychotherapists will come to the rescue.

Ways to overcome the crisis

Let go of the past. Old life and you won’t get your youth back. You can only take care of yourself and remain attractive at any age. Leave the past once and for all, live in the present and future.
Faith in a good future. If you missed something in your career, you can try to learn something new. You may not yet know about all your talents and capabilities. Child care adult life rate it as joy. Now you and your husband can be together more, you can realize your plans. You may have a desire to go on a trip.
Search for stimulus. Perhaps after 40 you will become a grandmother. Isn't this wonderful? We lived for the sake of our children, and now also for our grandchildren. And at work you can undergo retraining or start something new. The main thing is that your work brings you pleasure.

Middle-aged woman - crisis or blossoming? - video

Hello, dear guests of my site! Today we will talk about a problem that almost all women face upon reaching a certain age.

Turns out, psychological crisis can occur not only in adolescence or in, but also after crossing the 30-year mark.

So, let's look at the main symptoms of a midlife crisis in women after 30 years of age.

First you need to understand how such a crisis manifests itself. It happens at age 30 or starts a little later. Sometimes women become so immersed in problems that they no longer know how to overcome them on their own.

In such a situation, you may need the help of a specialist. Some suffer greatly, while for others it may go unnoticed.

Much depends on character traits and a certain life situation.
As doctors' reviews confirm, this condition can also provoke the occurrence of various diseases.

These could be diseases of the digestive, cardiovascular or nervous system.
Many psychologists believe that the crisis manifests itself at the age of 30–40 years. It is important to pay attention to your internal state and not be afraid to face difficulties.

You can find out what psychology says about this. A crisis often occurs when the meaning of life is lost.

At the same time, a reassessment of values occurs, much like in adolescence.

Causes of the crisis

To figure out what to do in crisis situation, it is necessary to understand the reasons for its occurrence.

Here's what can cause this problem:

Failures in personal life. Many women who are not married before the age of 30 experience a drop in self-esteem, depression, and uncertainty about the future. Married people may also experience disappointment in their family life. At the same time, fatigue arises from constant worries. .
The first signs of aging appear. Symptoms may include: facial wrinkles, sagging skin and cellulite.
Career problems. If a lot has been placed on your career, then if there is no advancement on the career ladder, a crisis period begins.
Comparison with other people's achievements. If a woman failed, did not buy a good home and did not give birth to a child, in general, did not achieve something in life by the age of 30, then she may experience shame on an unconscious level. At the same time, friends who have achieved a lot can increase feelings of guilt.

The crisis can be felt and even very successful women. At the same time, an indifferent attitude towards previous successes arises.

How long this condition lasts depends on many reasons. Personal difficulties can become a very serious problem.

The following questions may arise:

Misunderstanding on the part of the beloved man.
Reluctance of the other half to have children.
Constant quarrels for various reasons.
Doubts about choosing a partner in life.

Signs of a crisis

How long a crisis might occur depends on many factors. In any case, you need to be able to determine it.
Here characteristic features unpleasant condition:

The mood becomes too changeable.
Tension arises in relationships with others.
I want to move to another city or country, or even quit my job.
Reality no longer matches expectations. There is a feeling of unrealized potential.
Everything around me seems to have lost its meaning.
Constantly discovering new problems. In this case, the condition is accompanied by many negative emotions and a pessimistic view of what is happening.
Thoughts about old age arise. Turning thirty is perceived as the end of youth.
Birthdays no longer bring joy. And it becomes a sad date.
Desire to change. Thoughts arise about changing your appearance, moving to another place, changing jobs, or even getting divorced.
Disappointment in loved ones is accompanied by frequent scandals and insults.

Characterizing the symptoms will help you understand what is bothering you at one time or another. However, the symptoms do not appear all at once.

Usually one appears brightly, and the rest complement the condition. Even if at least a couple of signs are present, this is an alarming signal.

How to overcome the crisis

Let's look at how to survive an unpleasant period. Exist different views to the problem. Some experts believe that we need to wait it out.

In fact, time will only get rid of the symptoms, not the real cause.
Let's see what you can do:

Take some of the responsibility off yourself. Significant workloads and the habit of putting everything on your shoulders will not help in the fight against the crisis. Make your life easier, at least for a couple of months.
Revisit an old hobby or come up with a new hobby. Will help you get rid of stress favorite hobby. What do you like: sewing, photography or running in the stadium? It's time to remember what gives you pleasure.
Spend more time with your husband, family and friends. Spending time together will allow you to improve your relationship. You and your husband can go somewhere nice. Meet up with a friend after a long distance. Visit relatives who live far away.
Get busy personal growth. Change yourself. Start going to the pool or gym. Start studying foreign language. Go to self-development trainings. You can take an internship or special courses.
Increase your endorphin levels. They are produced when playing sports in large quantities. In addition, joy hormones are produced when doing what you love.

At this time, you should not delve into introspection, as well as the list positive qualities and those that you want to get rid of.

During a crisis, rational reasoning is ineffective. Much healthier is a walk, a candlelight dinner or a good night's sleep.
It is difficult to say whether there is any universal recipe in such a situation. After all, a lot depends on individual characteristics women.

remember, that effective methods are about caring for own body and maintaining wonderful relationships with loved ones.

An optimistic attitude and the right approach will help reduce difficult times. Don’t despair, and soon the long-awaited relief will come, and life will return to a successful track.

By the way, some women did not experience a midlife crisis and all because their lives were full of various events. There is simply no time left to think.

If you want, write in the comments how you deal with a similar problem. The main thing is not to become discouraged. Remember that most women go through this period and you are not alone. See you soon for educational meetings, dear friends!