Knowing yourself. What are you trying to say with your clothes? Did you sleep well last night

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Self-knowledge is the desire of a person to know himself, his mental and physical features, their abilities and, in general, all the subtleties of their personality. Thanks to self-knowledge, a person can learn a lot of new and interesting things about himself that he did not know and did not understand before, and even a lot of things that no one has ever known about himself. Also, thanks to self-knowledge, a person is able to largely comprehend himself and find his place in life. Sometimes we don’t even know who we can be in life, where, so to speak, our place in this world and what we should do in order to fully realize ourselves. Self-knowledge will help answer these and many other questions. It will help every person to gain faith in himself and his abilities, and will give him strength to realize all his desires. In this article I will tell you about how self-knowledge can help you improve yourself and your life and how a person can know himself.

Why Know Yourself

And yet, despite all the apparent usefulness of self-knowledge, the question of why to know oneself, I am sure, arises in the minds of many people, even those of them who are already actively engaged in self-knowledge. Still, self-knowledge, self-digging, self-study, self-analysis is not an easy job. You need to spend a lot of time on digging into yourself, in order to study the features of your personality, and many of them lack it anyway. Yes, and you need to think a lot about yourself, your actions, your thoughts, your behavior, which in itself is not easy. Thinking in general is very difficult, and even more so about yourself. Indeed, often when thinking about yourself, you need to have the courage to face the truth in order to see yourself as you are, and not as you want to see yourself. This is the courage many people lack. So self-knowledge is not an easy job. Therefore, this question arises - why do you need to do this? Not for the same, just to seem smarter and higher than others.

The reasons, friends, are actually many, and they all contribute to a person's desire to know himself. But I think that main reason lies in the fact that at one fine moment a person begins to dislike his inability to manage himself and his life as he would like. That is, he can do it badly, or at least not very well. And at the moment when he begins to more or less clearly understand that he manages his life poorly and does not control himself well enough, as a result of which much in his life is not going well - he has a desire to understand himself in order to finally bring himself to and order in your life. In other words, dissatisfaction with yourself and your life is an excellent reason for self-knowledge. Still, when everything is good in your life and you are satisfied with everything, especially with yourself, then there is no point in studying yourself. And there is no meaning, there is no desire. A person enjoys life without thinking at all about how he can change it, because it suits him completely. But in order to change your life, a person must first change himself. However, you can also do the opposite - first change your life, and then change yourself. But it's still better to start with yourself - it's much better.

There are also people who are puzzled by the question of the meaning of life and, in search of an answer to it, go, as they say, deep into themselves, because where else, if not inside themselves, to look for answers to such important and eternal questions. That is, sometimes not dissatisfaction, but curiosity and a desire to develop becomes an impetus for a person to self-knowledge. True, this is rare, much less common than the need for self-knowledge as a result of a person’s dissatisfaction with his life, but it does occur. I believe that one does not interfere with the other, since any order in a person's life implies a clear understanding of what he lives for and what he wants to live better for. After all, what more people knows about himself and about people in general, the better he understands how his own possibilities, and in general the possibilities of a person, and this, in turn, opens up a wider space of possibilities for him. I think you will agree with me that we humans still do not know much about ourselves. Moreover, we do not know what exactly we do not know about ourselves, that is, we do not understand what exactly we want to find inside ourselves. And it's mesmerizing. This makes us study ourselves as actively as, say, we study space, because there are as many secrets hidden inside us as in space. And who knows what we can learn about ourselves and how we can develop ourselves on the basis of this knowledge in order to acquire new abilities and opportunities with the help of which we will be able to qualitatively change our lives.

So what do we know about ourselves and what do we need to know about ourselves? Still, self-knowledge must start from something and have some purpose. We know a lot about ourselves and we don’t know even more, and accordingly, self-knowledge has the goal not to find something specific within ourselves, but in general to find something and understand it. Looking at other people, we can see what a person can be like in general, but another question is interesting - is there something similar in us that we observe in other people? That is, if you look at a person who has the qualities that you would like to have, then can you develop in yourself a similar, and not completely identical, but similar personality that would completely satisfy you? I believe that yes - everything that you observe in other people, both good and bad, is inside each of us. Another thing is how developed this or that person lives in us, these or those qualities, or better to say what inclinations we have for the formation of this or that personality in ourselves. This is what needs to be dealt with. Some of us in a more developed state have certain advantages and disadvantages, others have others, and depending on our desire, we can develop in ourselves exactly those of them that we need. Of course, we can find in ourselves something that no one has yet found in ourselves, and which is a kind of great reward for the seeker, but still, finding something in ourselves that attracts you in other people is a great temptation. So keep in mind Dear friends- you can find any personality you know inside yourself, so that you can then grow it in yourself. I repeat once again - you do not have to be like someone else, a person should not strive for this, he needs to develop his own Self. But other people may well become a guide for him, worthy people so that in terms of developing his personal qualities, he does not need to reinvent the wheel.

It is very useful to engage in self-knowledge to solve various problems. And there are always enough of them in our life. But many people are not only unprepared for them, but they do not even see how they can, in principle, solve certain problems. Very often, when my clients and I solve some problems that they turned to me with, I draw their attention to those personal qualities, which they possess and, accordingly, the opportunities that they have thanks to these qualities, with the help of which these people can solve their problems. But they're on their own different reasons they do not notice these qualities in themselves and therefore do not see the possibilities that they have. But what does it mean not to know about one or another of one's personal qualities and not to see the opportunities available due to them - this means not to use these opportunities to solve one's problems and tasks at the same time. It's like hunting with a loaded gun but not knowing how to shoot it. You see, many people can do much more than they think. And the problems that most people face in Everyday life- for them, they are not so serious as to worry about them and, moreover, give up their ambitions because of them. But people perceive certain situations that are harmless to them precisely as problems, because they simply do not know how to solve them themselves or how to avoid them.

I believe that people's lack of knowledge and understanding of themselves, at least within the most acceptable limits for them, is one of the main problems for most people. And this problem needs to be addressed among the first. I don't know myself very well either, but I'm working on it - I'm trying to know myself as best as I can. And I must tell you, friends, that this is very interesting and monstrously useful. This is useful not only in the sense that we get the opportunity to become better by developing certain qualities in ourselves, first discovering them in ourselves and then finding ways to develop them, but also in terms of our self-esteem. After all, you know, sometimes in our life there are people who tell us that we cannot do something there and that something is not given to us there. Have you experienced this? I faced. Some people told me that this or that was not given to me, and at first I believed them. But you know, my pride did not allow me to come to terms with the idea that I couldn’t do something there, that something wasn’t given to me. And I started working in this direction, I worked mainly on what was important to me. And it turned out that everything was given to me, that I can do everything, I just need to develop in myself necessary qualities instead of relying on natural gift or the absence thereof. So self-knowledge allows us to refute other people's negative opinions of us. And this refutation is important, first of all, for ourselves, it helps us to believe in ourselves.

There is one more sense in engaging in self-knowledge - in this way you can know not only yourself, but also other people. And this, in turn, will help you better understand them and build relationships with them in a way that is convenient for you. After all, everything that is in ourselves is also in other people, and what is in other people is also in us. Sometimes in order to understand another person, for example, your child in adolescence, all that is required of a person, his parent, is to remember himself at his age. After all, the same teenager lives in you, who has his own problems and experiences, his desires and dreams, his opinion on certain issues - so you can raise all this in yourself to find it with your child, with your son or daughter, mutual language. Not in adolescence yet mature personality, there is no adult in him, whom you may want to see in him, but his personality is in you. So who should make concessions to whom, who should try to understand whom for this? In this way, friends, we can all become more friendly and responsive, and we will have more possibilities agree with each other. By knowing ourselves, we can know others. And having known others, we can find an approach to them, we can find a common language with them.

How to know yourself

Now let's talk about how to know yourself. The first thing that comes to mind is observation, or if you like, self-observation. In order to know yourself, you need to observe yourself. But this is not as easy to do as it seems at first glance. The fact is that we tend to distort information about ourselves. That is, we humans often deceive ourselves when we think about ourselves, our qualities, our strengths and weaknesses, our desires and capabilities. In most cases, we want to appear in our own eyes better than we really are. Therefore, sometimes you need to observe yourself not with your own, but with someone else's eyes, and think about yourself not with your own, but with someone else's mind. Do you understand what I mean? - I'm talking about someone else's opinion about us, about you. It helps a lot in self-observation for the purpose of self-knowledge. Of course, someone else's opinion is also not always adequate, but it often sobers up and balances ours. own opinion about themselves. True, someone thinks of himself well and even too well, and someone thinks badly, so someone else's opinion should belong to literate people, and not just anyone. Otherwise, some people will simply belittle you even more, while others will unreasonably elevate you, and this will not help you to know yourself, but it will greatly distort your self-esteem. So other people's eyes and someone else's mind - you still need to choose the right one. Be interested in the opinion of those people whom you consider smart.

Also pay attention to your value system, your lifestyle, your desires and dreams - they will help you understand what kind of person you are. this moment personality. I think you can easily find out which people are interested in what from smart books and articles, and then see how close you are to certain people. Roughly speaking, if a person leads an extremely irresponsible lifestyle, thereby proving that he is poorly versed in it, if his value system is based on the satisfaction of primitive basic needs and is limited to this, if he dreams of any insignificant nonsense that he wants to acquire, and not about, say, self-expression, self-realization, achieving some high goals in life related to lofty needs, then he definitely has room to grow. And he definitely shouldn’t think that he knows everything about life and that he doesn’t need anything else from her, and what is especially important, that he doesn’t need anything from himself. This is actually pretty serious problem for a person - not to know that he does not know something. In some cases, only with outside help can a person go beyond their ideas about life in order to learn more about it and about themselves.

The next point, which is a continuation of the previous one, is the science of man, with their help you can understand what exactly you have already found or can find in yourself. Well, I can tell you with all responsibility that psychology can help a person to know himself very well. She will explain to him why he has certain qualities, why certain features are inherent in him, why he has certain desires. For example, a person during self-knowledge discovered that he was afraid of something, but did not know what exactly and why. Suppose he notices behind himself that he is afraid only in what certain situations, but he cannot understand what these situations mean, why exactly they frighten him, worry him. But starting to study the same psychology, he can learn about different kind phobias and why they arise, and then to draw a conclusion from where this or that fear appeared in him. Not only that, he learns that fear is inherent in many other people, which will help him, for example, stop thinking of himself as a coward, if he certainly thinks so. Or a person wants to know what he is capable of - whether he can, for example, succeed in some business, or whether it is too tough for him. From the relevant literature, he can learn about what qualities a person needs to successful solution certain tasks, to achieve certain goals, and how these opportunities can be developed in oneself. In other words, self-knowledge without knowledge is almost impossible. For not everything that we observe, both in ourselves and in other people, we are able to explain without special knowledge.

The next point in self-knowledge, also very important from my point of view, has to do with these two human qualities like imagination and will. I have written more than once about the fact that a person can, as they say, invent himself in order to become what he wants to be. The main thing is to burn with the desire to make yourself the person you need, then there will be ways to do it. But first, you need to draw up a plan for your development, thinking carefully about who exactly you want to be, what personal qualities of yours will help you become such a person and where you should start your development. That is, you understand, self-knowledge in this case turns into self-creation, a person creates himself - he does not look for certain qualities in himself, he first invents them, and then develops them. Say it's impossible? And here it is possible. And many people did just that in their lives when they wanted to become someone. Above, I gave you an example with myself when I said that some people convinced me that I couldn’t do something and that something was not given to me, and then it turned out that I could do everything and everything was given to me. How can we even know what is given to us and what is not, if we tried to achieve something? All this is utter nonsense - we ourselves decide what is given to us and what is not.

Many people came to know themselves not by searching for something or someone in themselves, but by means of self-development, self-improvement, by striving for their goals. These are completely different things. In one case, we rely on the concept that someone else created us for certain purposes, and we are looking for something in ourselves that will point us to these goals, and in the other case, we believe that whatever we are from birth, we ourselves decide who we will become and what goals we will try to achieve. That is, in last case the responsibility for who we are and what we can do lies entirely with us. And I think it's the most The best way self-knowledge. Let our deeds show us and others what we are now and what we can become, not our exploration of ourselves. For one way or another a person becomes what he becomes, under the influence of external factors and through his own work on himself. And what nature gives us from birth is a negligible part of our personality. Well, this, of course, is my personal opinion, partly confirmed by science, partly refuted by science.

In any case, friends, you need to engage in self-knowledge by any means available to you. This, as I said, is both interesting and useful. This lesson makes sense. In itself, self-knowledge is one of the meanings of life. Or you can even say that self-knowledge complements a person's life, filling it with great meaning. Socrates said: know yourself and you will know the whole world. I don’t know how true this is, but I am absolutely convinced that by knowing ourselves, we learn a lot, a lot. I have not described all the ways of self-knowledge in this article, so in the future we will definitely return to this topic in order to reveal it even better. But the main thing I want to achieve is to awaken your interest in self-knowledge, and thus encourage you to this worthy pursuit.

Attempts by a sound engineer, focused only on himself, to reveal a huge unified unconscious inevitably fail. Man is a closed system, he feels only himself. The mistake is that, moving away from others, not understanding them, we cannot realize ourselves. Just as they are not able to distinguish white in the absence of black, everything is known on opposites, in comparison.

Endless inner search. Eternal thirst for knowledge. Someone scattered "bread crumbs" of meanings around the world. And I, like a beggar, looked for them for many years in order to satisfy my hunger, incomprehensible to others. Man's knowledge of himself was a matter of survival in this strange world around. I have always felt that there is something incredibly important hidden in this question: “Who am I?”.

Knowing yourself is the first step

It was absolutely clear that a person is not only a physical body, because the joys and pleasures of the body gave me so little and did not saturate the soul at all. Actually, own body much more often I was a burden. He needed to be fed and bathed. Keep in shape and dress. Take care of him constantly. At times it was incredibly annoying.

I read somewhere that “the body is a prison of the spirit”, and I completely agreed. I knew for sure that a person was born for great accomplishments, and not at all in order to provide his physical body with bliss and all sorts of comfort.

The process of self-knowledge assumed that I would finally find this real tool, with the help of which the picture of the world around and my place in it would come together. In the end, it did, but before that, seven circles of hell awaited me.

I am everything. Down and Out trouble started

I can turn my hand and soak up the shiver of heaven
I can resurrect the fire and comprehend the singing forest ... *

In my youth, I was absolutely sure that I could do anything. Absolutely everything, you know? I can change the world. Yes Yes exactly. There was a joyful anticipation: the world around was either hanging on the tips of the fingers, which one had only to click, and ... Or maybe he was itching on the tip of the tongue in search of that very, cherished Word? ..

It seemed that just about - and I will find the very thing that is missing. I can figure out how to use this special gift. Just know yourself special device- and everything will work out!

Those around me frankly twirled a finger at my temple and made unflattering comments about my self-esteem. Society assumed that a person should live like everyone else and pull this strap to his deathbed. But I didn't care too much about the opinion of the "stupid townsfolk". By that time, it was already clear that we were unlikely to find a common language.

I am nothing. Emptiness and "black hole"

I can survive in a world where every second person is my enemy.
Fluttering in the wild wind... I can. But I don't know HOW.*

Time slipped inexorably like sand through fingers. And I didn't find anything. Every person was supposed to finish school - and I graduated from it. And a person was supposed to acquire a profession - and reluctantly, I went to storm the university. Sitting in class, I found out that every day it is more and more difficult for me to focus on what the lecturer says. It was as if I was "turning off", not perceiving the information. It was even more difficult to withstand the voices of classmates during the break - they were yelling so that it hurt their ears.

Much later, at a training in System-Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan, I learned that such states are not uncommon for a person who has. They arise as a result of the fact that the sound engineer was looking for, but did not find on his own a way to know himself. I could not realize my natural desire for self-knowledge and knowledge of the world around.

And then I did not understand anything. I just got used to shielding myself with headphones with my favorite music from this screaming, unbearably noisy crowd. This did not save from inner emptiness and growing heartache. I began to fall into a deep depression, with a black hole at the core of myself. Self-esteem from the level of "almighty" collapsed to the level of "insignificance".

I am nothing. Empty place. Life is meaningless and empty.

What gives a person knowledge of himself: what is the method - such is the result

For a while I tried to fill my incomprehensible thirst with the help of philosophy. It did not help for long, and philosophy did not give an answer: what should I do with myself like that, how to live? And for what? What's the point of this? The physical body burdened me more and more, I began to feel it as something separate from myself.

There were attempts that almost every person with a sound vector went through: I greedily swallowed all kinds of religious and esoteric literature. It helped for a while: the idea that being “blissful nothingness” is great was lulling me. And the exercises partially returned to me the adequacy of the perception of my own physical body.

But these “near-meaning sublimants” only dulled the feeling of meaninglessness and emptiness. Then it fell with even greater force, with each new round the pain of the soul became stronger. Unbearable, hellish pain. It seemed that my body was to blame for it. Thoughts involuntarily came that if you throw it through the window, maybe the pain will go away with the death of the physical body? And finally I will remain - eternal, infinite and free?

It was at the time when I recognized as useless any methods of knowing myself and seriously thought about suicide that I was invited to introductory lectures on systems-vector psychology Yuri Burlan.

How does one come to know oneself

In every description of the sound man I recognized myself. Closure, unsociableness, intolerance to loud sounds. Focusing on your thoughts, feeling your potential "genius", superiority over other people who are preoccupied with mundane issues.

It turned out that the main task of a person with a sound vector is precisely to know, to reveal the hidden laws according to which the world around and the human soul are arranged. But I did not escape the “trap” that almost every person with a sound vector fell into: I tried to discover these processes on my own, believing that everything necessary was concentrated in myself.

Thanks to the training, the realization came that I was not only person with such properties, about 5% of sound engineers are born. They are not interested in the needs of the physical body. But they are striving to reveal the much desired plan according to which our world is arranged.

Our psyche (soul) is one. Attempts by a sound engineer, focused only on himself, to reveal a huge unified unconscious inevitably fail. Man is a closed system, he feels only himself. The mistake is that, moving away from others, not understanding them, we cannot realize ourselves. Just as they are not able to distinguish white in the absence of black, everything is known on opposites, in comparison.

An unfulfilled desire to know the structure of the soul leads the sound engineer to depression. To get out of it, you need to focus on the outside: learn to accurately determine the psyche of another person and, as a result, crystallize an understanding of yourself. It gives fulfillment and suicidal thoughts.

The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan describes in detail the structure of our psyche, making it possible for a person to gain knowledge of himself. This is the joy of discovering the laws by which the world around is arranged. Joy of realization, life in physical body. Meaningfulness of being and happiness of cooperation with other people:

Know yourself

Tired of useless philosophy? The body is burdensome, and attempts to understand the meaning of what is happening bring nothing but pain, emptiness and a feeling of something elusive? Give yourself a chance to see life as it is at a free online training in system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan. .

The article was written based on the materials of the training " System-Vector Psychology»

And my conscience. The ego asserts itself, and the conscience looks at the degree of adequacy of self-esteem.

I recognize self-affirmation as a mechanism for encouraging development. When the opportunity opens up to use other incentives for development, self-affirmation (as an incentive to move through life) weakens.

Another stimulus, as an example, may be interest and curiosity, which in their extreme become a thirst for knowledge. I want to understand the secret of the path I have chosen. I had already carefully touched this secret, and it stunned me. All of us willingly choose what interests us. Comprehension of the secret begins with interest, which develops into passion, into a fire that does not burn you, but gives you even more strength!

Another incentive is love. When I love people, it’s like I don’t need anything, I feel good just because I am. At this time, I want to do something useful and creative, simply because I would like to share this state.

This rarely happens to me. I am still often driven by self-affirmation. But I'm less and less self-flagellation about it. This stimulus is not an enemy or an insidious beast. Self-affirmation becomes an enemy when I fight it. But in accepting my self-affirmation, I feel how this stimulus develops various qualities of my attention and the qualities of that power that allows me to distinguish one from the other.

In this life, I, like most people, had a lot of “problems” because of self-assertion, when it led to fluctuating self-esteem. However, all these "problems" were valuable lessons. one of the hardest lessons. I am still going through it. But this acceptance, I am sure, deserves the whole path that has been traveled hitherto.

In this article, I once again want to talk about how our self-esteem sometimes behaves when it goes off scale to different extremes, about the lessons that we learn along the way under the influence of self-affirmation.

Fear of self

Imagine a caste system, where there are classes of advanced and respected masters, a number of intermediate castes and a few lower ones, into which all kinds of "dregs of society" usually fall. A person with fluctuating self-esteem lives in such a caste system, but at the same time his caste has not yet been really determined, so the person himself does not know what he deserves, but implicitly (as a rule) hopes and even believes that he belongs to some advanced, or even the highest caste of highly revered and beloved gentlemen. With such an overestimated self-esteem, a person is constantly threatened by a collision with reality, which lowers him to the ground.

The greater the difference between real situation affairs and inflated self-esteem, the more painful it is to fall from the heights of pride to solid ground. Therefore, most often we try to fool ourselves as skillfully as possible in such a way that self-esteem is not underestimated, in order to continue to masterfully hover in the clouds of self-deception, blocking the realities with some rational nonsense suitable for the occasion, blaming other people for our imperfection, or "" life.

We avoid the fear of disillusioning our ego by replacing this fear with secondary external "problems". In essence, we are all afraid not of some supposedly “problematic” events, but of those changes that, due to these events, can occur in our “head”. Our mind does not want to change, and blocks everything that does not affect in the best way on our self-esteem. It’s easier for us to stay in rather than growing up to admit our inferiority in anything. We agree with what fits into the image of our "I". We deny that this inflated image is destructive.

When we catch the “confirmation” of our own worthlessness in the outside world, our self-esteem fluctuates, the ego loses its footing, and fear enters the consciousness. Thus, the unstable positions of our self-esteem are crumbling. Most often, such destruction is subject to the support of the ego, which can not withstand contact with reality. Inflated self-esteem is shattered when faced with the real state of affairs. To avoid such crashes, we must know and accept yourself with all his darkness and inferiority within himself, to recognize the presence of all his shortcomings, "sins" and vices. This is the main value of confession and psychoanalysis. During confession, a person reveals himself to the extent of his sincerity before himself.

During psycho. counseling, an intelligent psychologist helps a person to see himself and accept himself as a person is in this moment life. Such acceptance occurs through sharpening, through passing through fear to the truth. Therefore, at first, such work can intensify the experiences from which a person fled. Clients come for help, not fully understanding that, in a sense, they have been running from this help all this time. Almost no one wants to seriously talk about their pressing problems. This readiness does not come immediately. Sometimes it is necessary to suffer it.

By living fully our experiences, we get rid of their influence. This is the acceptance of oneself in all the "fullness" of one's experiences. Accept yourself selfish, rude, weak - main part gaining integrity. It is this acceptance that allows one to reveal true altruism, sensitivity and strength. This is the completion of the "puzzle" of personal integrity.

Fear is hard to accept, so we block it by replacing real problem"dying" ego is an external surrogate for this problem. The mind defends its positions, shutting itself with all its might from the truth that shakes our selfish illusions. The mind defends itself against the truth by choosing the most suitable rational self-deception for this self-defense. Any concept that “devalues” the cruel truth, the truth that is painful for the mind, and which seems more or less rationally suitable for this shamelessness of the case, is suitable as such self-deception. I already talked about these tricks of the mind in the article: "".

Fear blocked by self-deception turns into a variety of negative experiences from mild irritation to furious rage, depending on the quantity and quality of illusions that are in danger of destruction. So, for example, if a person considers himself unreasonably smart and builds his self-esteem on this, he will block any external influences which allude to his "stupidity". Moreover, these people will seek out "hints" on their own with enviable perseverance, even where they did not smell. Just implicitly, we always know where and how we fool ourselves. We ourselves play with this self-deception, moving from the extreme of self-exaltation to the extreme of contempt for our own person. I already talked about this in the article "".

Inadequately high self-esteem leads to a fall, and then, in order to compensate for this fall, we try to rise even higher. This is how the "Napoleon complex" works. Swinging up and down, we create a kind of mental "charge", "activity", which begins to live its own life in our inner territory. This "activity" sensitively captures all the impulses that affect its power. Praise, approval and agreement swing it in one direction, and criticism, denial and disagreement send it in another direction. In other words, if a person has a neurosis about some of his qualities, he will look out for the encouragement and condemnation of these qualities where any other person calmly passes by without any experiences at all.

Any hint from the outside world that “confirms” our worthlessness can cause us shame, irritation, and even lead to prolonged depression. This confirmation may be some elusive careless or inaccurate gesture that some abstract servant would not allow in relation to any king. And this gesture, as it were, shows us that we are not the masters of life, but mere mortals, that our place is not “in the front row”, but maybe even somewhere “under the plinth”. At the same time, a person lives as if his caste has not yet been confirmed, and he worries that he may turn out to be someone from the dregs of society.

Sometimes we wait for confirmation of our destiny from some random events who will confirm our caste - our place in this life. Here a person smiled at us, and we think: “yeah, our caste is probably from the advanced ones!” As Nike Borzov sang: “And I am the most fashionable, and apparently the most beautiful!” Self-confidence has increased, posture has become stately, majestic gestures, a condescending smile. In general, the peacock became pompous and important.

But the man let us down. How does the mind behave? His unconscious monologue might sound like this: “Me? The great lord of the garbage heap? Lowered? How could he? So he shamelessly hints to me that I am from the lower caste? So, because of this bastard, my whole life is going down the drain now? Because of him, I can fall into the dregs of society and become an eternal servant, wiping other people's asses? What if I am a dirty servant? But so far no one knows about it! But this bastard, it seems, saw something in me, recognized the signs of a dirty “servant” ... And if he tells others about this, these others will also see these signs and understand that I am a nonentity, and I can be humiliated, spit in my direction and sent to the cesspool for parcels, like an "errand boy." And I will live in the dirt, work hard humiliating slave labor "for my uncle", and die in the garbage! Or maybe I’ll be immediately thrown into the trash and thrown out as an inferior, defective little thing. ”

Everything happens in this way, while a person is waiting for events to determine his place in this life, “show” him who he is and what he deserves, until “providence” descends, or until the prince arrives on a white horse, or under “ scarlet sails". You can wait with nothing until old age. All this is a great self-deception. Man is neither a deity nor a worm. All these are estimates of the mind, on which the mind itself is bought. A person is just a person, nothing more, nothing less.

Fate

On a human, relative level, there is no destiny. Our future does not depend on what someone else thinks of us, but on the choices we ourselves make. Well, think about how often and what do you think about others? Do you give meaning to these thoughts? What about words? Another person blurted out something in a bad mood and immediately forgot what he said, and then the neurotic suffers for hours from these words. It really doesn't matter what people think or say. No one thinks anything “important” about us, as a rule. Everyone is preoccupied with themselves. Therefore, it does not matter how people react to our inflated self-esteem. They do it casually, without attaching any great importance to their little words, which fly out of their throats several hundred times a day. Everyone lives in his own individual hallucination, and, as a rule, attaches where greater value their acne than other people.

Your future is undefined. In fact, here I am not talking about fate, or some kind of missions. Purely humanly, your future does not depend on any external stamps. No matter what anyone thinks, you will live the way you choose. You will be worthy of what you choose. All limitations are in your mind. Wealth, strength and health will never fall out of the blue as a divine gift just because you supposedly special person from a high caste. Poverty, inferiority, illness and suffering are also not some kind of fate. It all depends on your decisions. In order to manifest strength and goodness, it is necessary to work, to do something useful. To be healthy, self-flagellation and self-pity will not help you. And here, too, it is necessary to move, train the body and observe an appropriate lifestyle.

And if you believe in karma and fate, then karma is our “data”: attachments, preferences, talents, etc. Karma is a causal relationship of the “parameters” of our personality. Causes are what guides us, effects are the result of that guidance. If you prefer to sit back, you will get the corresponding result. If you revel in self-pity, you will become miserable and helpless. If, despite the temptations of different desires, you choose conscious action, work and creation, then again, you will get the corresponding specific result.

As long as ours depends on external factors, neuroses cannot be avoided, and we will suffer blindly and blindly rejoice at the confirmation of our steepness and worthlessness. It's just, perhaps, worth understanding that the role reversal from a deity to a scrubber can't be something real. This is the work of the dual mind. In order not to fall and break your forehead on solid ground, you should not fly in the clouds. Then the earth will be soft, warm and even pleasant for our feet.

To be worthy or to be unworthy of something is one big glitched neurosis. We deserve the result of our actions. That's all. You are what you are. It doesn't matter what they think of us. Each person dreams of his individual assessments, and not of objective truth. Sometimes these assessments are worth listening to until you see for yourself who you are and what you can do about it.

Sadly, the more porridge in the head, the less often a person understands the limitations of his mind, and the cruder and more primitive his self-deception is. A refined, clear mind easily exposes its own gross illusions, but deftly weaves new, sophisticated ways to fool itself with elegant, refined methods. We most actively learn these types of self-deception when we practice self-improvement. The ego wrestles with itself on a subtle level in order to establish its position in the masterful deception of itself. We are developing to become truly talented people and even real masters in this difficult task of building actual beautiful illusions about ourselves for ourselves. Apparently - this is our human way to the truth, which we learn to distinguish, making our way through the wilds of self-deception.

Remember the famous saying "Know yourself and you will know the world."

Who are we? Who are we really? We often ask these and other questions. Since ancient times, people want to know themselves, but how to do it?

Many experts say that a person’s knowledge of himself begins with the fact that you just need to accept yourself as you really are. Do not force yourself to be like someone else or behave in the way dictated by fashion, environment, stereotypes in society, or in the way that relatives, most often parents, expect us.

Not, knowledge begins with self-acceptance. And you have to be honest with yourself.

Why does a person need to know himself? First of all, to maintain your health. The result of this unresolved conflict will be neuroses, depressions, somatic diseases, sleep disorders and other other "charms".

Well, in the second - you will be doing your own thing and you will never be able to achieve success.

This article answers two basic questions: WHY? AND HOW? If we have already answered the first question, then it is time to answer the second question.

At the beginning of the article, we said that knowledge begins with self-acceptance, and so, if you honestly say that this is “not yours”, then this is only the first stage of how to know yourself.

The second stage is quite natural - if it's not mine, then you need to find something that will be mine. And this one is no less complicated. Only a few can find themselves from an early age, for others it is a labor. Think about what you do best. What is the difficulty? I know that I have always been good at cooking/sewing/singing/dancing/inventing and so on. But here we are stopped by a banal fear, and someone, coupled with this, is also laziness. Disbelief in one's own strength is a conscious rejection of knowledge. Unbelief will not reveal to us the secret of how to make ourselves better and how to become more successful.

We may admire people who have achieved success, but we ourselves are afraid to apply it to our own life. And meanwhile, in each of us the genius is hidden. And this is not an exaggeration. Man is a perfect being, because he has a huge potential. But ... we again sit at boring work, sigh about a failed life and the injustice of fate, not realizing that it is our ignorance of ourselves and disbelief in our strengths that are the main enemies on the path of achievement.

In our life there are many different areas and each person wants to know himself in some particular or in all at once.

Someone doesn't fit personal life and he would like to know himself in a relationship. And someone is looking for himself in work, in a career. But in addition to work, there is also a hobby, it is impossible to live life without interests and hobbies.

For self-development, it is very important to do some things outside of work and at home. You can know yourself not only by sitting in a chair and thinking. Doing something new, you will find out your desires, understand what you want and where you are striving.

You can get to know yourself with the help of other people. For example, ask your relatives, acquaintances and friends to write you a certain characteristic. positive and negative qualities. Just make sure you don't get offended by people for the truth that might be revealed to you.

Pay close attention to yourself in anger and when upset. In such states, the most naked truth usually comes out. From the depths of my soul. Therefore, pay attention to those things that make you angry and annoying. Learn to understand your real attitude to what is happening.

Say to yourself daily: “I am a confident person, I am perfect and powerful. I am fearless and I believe in myself, and most importantly, I want to know myself and become better.”

And you will have confidence in your abilities and, perhaps, you will find the courage to look for another job. The one that is closer to you, the one that suits you much more. And most importantly, you will know that you will succeed, otherwise it simply cannot be.

And I know and believe you can!

Good afternoon, dear readers! How well do you know yourself? If you are asked to describe yourself, as if from the outside, what would you say? For many people, sooner or later, a period of introspection and self-knowledge begins. But it is not always clear where to start and how to do everything right so as not to drown in the sea. psychological information and not make things worse for yourself. After all, not everything is as easy as it seems at first glance. Today I offer you a simple but convenient plan on how to understand yourself, personality psychology and introspection.

Psychological tests

Usually a person begins to know himself through psychological tests. The point, of course, is not bad, but learning how to interpret test results correctly is not so easy. Psychologists have been teaching this for several years, preparing for certain results, teach to look not only at numbers and indicators, but also at the person himself, at the situation, at the circumstances.

Remember that many tests are based simply on general provisions and do not take into account your features. It is impossible to understand yourself or other people only by passing such tests. If you really want to get an in-depth analysis, then I advise you to contact a psychologist who will draw up a psychological portrait for you.

A person is constantly changing, becoming better, reconsidering his views on life, learning new things. I have not yet met a single person who would remain exactly the same all his life. Personality has the ability to develop. Keep this in mind when doing self-digging.

I bring to your attention the article "". In it you will find many practical and useful tips, which will help you figure out where to start, how best to act and where to go. Do not be afraid and do not rush to everything at once. Be gradual and thorough, then you will definitely succeed.

"I" in relationships

When a person learns to know his essence, then, one way or another, he draws attention to himself in a relationship. And, in general, there is a reassessment of relationships past, present and future. This is important and most of life, so understanding yourself in terms of relationships is extremely important.

It doesn't matter if you are currently in a relationship or not. You still need to analyze this part of your life. Choose a time when no one will distract you, when you can sit quietly and calmly alone with your thoughts.

Sometimes a woman in a relationship gets so carried away that she ceases to be herself. She melts into a man. Familiar? I have several clients who, after a breakup or divorce, were completely lost in life, because, apart from their husband, there was nothing in life. Nothing of his own. This is a catastrophically wrong situation.

Therefore, in a relationship, it is important to understand your desires and dreams, think about your activities, spend time apart. You should not dissolve in a person, no matter how tempting it may seem. Losing yourself next to another person is easy, but then finding it is hard.

Yes, and many men should carefully look at themselves in a relationship. Why does the choice always lean towards girls like this that hurt so much? After all, happy person who caught the harmony, and the relationship is going well. Think about it.

In the article "" you can find interesting thoughts that will tell you what is going wrong and how to fix it all. Remember hopeless situations can not be.

Work - career

But besides relationships, there is one more important question which should be well understood. This is your profession and your job. One of my clients from youthful years worked as a secretary. The work was not especially dusty, but she constantly felt dissatisfied and annoyed.

After long conversations, it turned out that she did not digest work in the office at all. Of course, she did not run headlong to quit. After all, you have to earn money to live.

The girl approached the question responsibly. She began to figure out what she could do outside the office and still earn enough money. Now she works as a florist, opened a chain of her own flower shops and arranges master classes for beginners.

You can find your calling even in deep middle age. You can verify this by reading the article "". In it, I talk in detail about all sorts of ups and downs associated with a career.

Try to understand whether you like what you do, what processes at work you enjoy, and what annoys and pisses you off. Do not immediately think that the current work is nonsense and you need to change everything in your life.

Be consistent and calm. It is especially important not to make hasty decisions on emotions. No wonder they say - the morning is wiser than the evening.

Interests

In addition to work, there are also hobbies. It is impossible to know yourself without this side of life. It does not happen that a person only goes to work and then watches TV at home. There are always books, going to the movies with friends, bowling or trips out of town.

A friend of mine seems to have tried a million things in her life. And vocals, playing the piano, photography, styling and makeup, camping and rock climbing, charity and helping orphans. What just was not in her life.

She quit some classes quickly enough, without even having studied for a week. Others became a real hobby and, to some extent, have remained to this day. Do not be afraid to look for yourself and find out your hobbies. The more new you experience, the better you will know your essence.

In all this, it is important to maintain harmony. Of course, a person cannot be torn apart and be everywhere. Sometimes it is not so easy to combine work, hobbies, family and friends. Sometimes you have to sacrifice something, make concessions. Here, too, a field for reflection opens up for you. What and why are you willing to give up?

I bring to your attention the article "". From it you will learn how to correctly allocate your time, devote right amount attention to all aspects of your life and find inner harmony.

You can get to know yourself with the help of other people. How? Ask your relatives, acquaintances and friends to write you a certain characteristic. Positive and negative qualities. Just make sure you don't get offended by people for the truth that might be revealed to you.

Take the information as new knowledge that will help you become even better and change your life.

Pay attention to your dreams. Sometimes very important and necessary discoveries come to us at night. Learn to remember what you dreamed. For this there is great amount techniques that you can find on the internet.

Read Barbara Sher's book What to dream about". It can push you to new achievements, which for some reason you were afraid to do before.

Have you ever helped a person understand himself? Do you often have heart-to-heart conversations with loved ones? Are there things you would be afraid to know about yourself?

Feel free to go forward and do not be afraid, you will succeed!