How to deal with fear? Overcoming your fears. Fear is a normal reaction of the body to external stimuli.

Friends, hello everyone!

I think that when you read the title of the article, you exclaimed in your hearts: “Oh, yes! There is a problem!”…

What is there to dissemble, all of us from time to time (and someone - and constantly) are faced with the problem of our own laziness and inability to overcome ourselves and start (and continue!) Do what needs to be done.

How to be? Is there anything you can do to help yourself at times like these? What are the real causes of laziness and is it always really laziness?

Today's article will be about all this, read on, we will understand these issues that are relevant to us together!

So, how to deal with laziness effectively?

From this article you will learn:

How to fight laziness and become effective?

The very first step in the fight against laziness: take it, and then everything will be much easier!

Today, ways to deal with laziness are offered great multitude, and many of them, by and large, are aimed purely at MANIFESTATIONS of laziness itself, at somehow overcoming it.

Of course, you can take and overcome your "attacks of laziness" one-two-three times, but! But soon you notice that you are already “stimulating” and “pushing” yourself in this way ... yes, you are already too lazy! ☺

That's right, such “quilting yourself” is very energy-consuming for the body. This is the first.

And the second, and most important, is that the CAUSES of the lazy state are never eliminated with this approach!

So, friends, we won’t talk about standard and inefficient ways to overcome laziness, this “good” is already full on the Internet. I want to tell you about how to get rid of laziness FOREVER.

And the most reliable the right way to do this is to deal with the CAUSES of laziness.

The main causes of laziness in humans

It is unlikely that we always understand the reasons for our laziness. It's one thing when we are physically or mentally tired, then - yes, then everything is clear with this.

In this case, our laziness is quite natural, and it's not even laziness, but simply a logical requirement of our body to just relax.

But it turns out that, most often, the reasons for laziness are incomprehensible to us: that's just laziness and that's it!

Just in this case, the state of laziness arises for the following reasons:

Absence a clear goal and understanding what we want, what we need to get it, and how to do it.
Various fears: the fear that we will not succeed at all in what needs to be done. Or the fear of a bad result, not the one that is needed in the end. And also the fear of success: I will do it, everything will be ok and ... and then what, what next? fear of success and the fact that everything will work out. And also the fear of condemnation from others, the fear of criticism and so on ...
disbelief in own forces, in their abilities, rather low self-esteem. Because once, from parents and other people, we learned: “Do not stand out!”, “Sit quietly!”, “You can’t do it!” (when we started doing something), “Keep your head down!”, “Sit quietly!” etc. It may seem that we have forgotten all this for a long time, so many years have passed! And, in fact, it disappears only from our memory, but, in the subconscious, everything is preserved. And then quite tangibly affects our whole life ...
Internal protest forgiving that the thing NEEDED to be done. Without any reservations. Dot. It is this feeling of OBLIGATION that we feel that makes our psyche resist this “obligation”. There is a protest: I will not! Unfortunately, often, even when we understand intellectually what SHOULD be done, that for ourselves it is good, it is profitable, etc. But we are still "stuck" ...
Why? Because our protest against any “must” developed as early as childhood, when we were forced to go to school every day, do our homework, make the bed, brush our teeth, do various tasks for our parents around the house, etc.
When we exaggerate the complexity of the work to be done. This terribly prevents us from even just taking it and proceeding with it. Especially when it's a big job that requires a lot of work. In this case, we look at the entire scope of work at once, in its entirety, and are horrified at how difficult it is, and how it is, in principle, impossible to implement. Seems logical, but wrong. And we will be introduced to such a "logic" ...
Sometimes laziness is caused by very boring and routine work, conflicts with employees, a feeling of indignation from unfairly distributed duties among team members by the boss, etc.

Laziness, as a result of the lack of vital energy

Laziness can also occur as a result of loss vital energy for completely trivial reasons:

From the side of physics, this is lack of sleep, a disturbed daily routine, frequent use of junk food, junk food, eating in late time, lack of physical activity every day, lack of vitamins, minerals, sunlight and clean air and water and so on…
From the side of the psyche - this is dissatisfaction with one's life, too frequent "self-eating", a sense of guilt, insufficient self-respect. As well as hidden, and unforgiven grievances, wasting vital energy on empty chatter on the phone, social. networks, gossip, envy, anger, swearing, rejection of someone or something, and so on ...
· If we have done something before, trying to somehow change the situation in our lives (especially if it was about quite serious things), and we did not succeed. Especially if they did it more than once, and as a result there was a failure.

In this case, we develop a persistent disbelief in ourselves, based on “quite logical reasons”, we cannot overcome the negative memories that arise in ourselves.

And, whenever we just think that “it would be nice to try to do this and that again”, then we literally “sausage” from the mere thought of it! And, of course, we do nothing again...

All these reasons terribly take away our strength and energy. Of course, in such cases, we simply DO NOT have it for any cases!

The saddest thing is that these reasons are practically not realized by us in Everyday life, this is their deceit!

In fact, there are many more reasons for laziness. But there's no point in delving into it too much.

The main ones were listed here, and this is quite enough to understand something for yourself, realize it and start doing something with it.

How to deal with laziness?

If we want success in this matter, if we are tired of being a “great unwilling person”, then we must certainly cleanse ourselves of all the above “garbage”.

By solving this issue, we will not only not give laziness a single chance to further destroy our lives, but we will also solve many of our other problems.

You can deal with laziness quickly enough if you take your time clear statement goals and identify what is preventing us from getting started. If among the reasons you identified were serious problems, then you need to think about how you can get around them: maybe you need to entrust this business (or some part of it) to other people, and do things yourself that don’t cause you a “lazy stupor”.

Remember: the same people no, and someone with absolutely no problems can take on that business (or part of it), which drives you into panic and irritation from the fact that this must be done without fail.

Set goals for yourself that are achievable so you don't give up every time you think about how much you need to get done. Your motivation will not disappear if you clearly understand that everything is feasible.
There is another type of people who need to set “sky-high” goals, those that, at first glance, seem impossible. Such people are ignited by the very grandiosity of the goal, its breadth, scope, they are motivated by future results. You don’t “motivate” such people with something that can be done in “one-two-three”, they are bored, not interested, and they don’t even want to get down to business.

This way of overcoming laziness, in fact, has a lot of fans who prefer to set themselves such goals that “take your breath away” and do not even sleep at night from overflowing inspiration.

Decide what goals motivate you - small or grandiose, and boldly start!

It is best, if you are not yet experienced in goal setting, to set the goal of the "golden mean": its bar should not be too low, otherwise you will not be interested, but not too high, otherwise you simply will not want to do anything, because you will think about how difficult it is.

Set goals that make you happy. Not only by its result, but also by what awaits you in the process of achieving them.
Set yourself time to complete your goal. It can motivate you when you clearly understand how much time you have left.

It doesn't suit everyone.

Many people don't want to have the "sword hanging over their ear" of time, they are so much more effective when they are not limited. But, as soon as any deadlines appear, they are completely repulsed by the desire to move on. This can manifest itself as an internal protest.

What to do?

Either realize it and deal with it, or if you are already effective and not lazy, do everything on time, then don’t change anything. What for?

Perfectly removes "attacks of laziness" visualization of desires. These can be pictures, photos and notes of your desires that need to be re-read regularly. And also reflections, unhurried meditation, dreams about the upcoming results.
If the goal is global, and you understand that "you give reverse” at the mere thought of this, then break the goal into stages of achieving it - small “sub-goals”, and focus each time on completing one step. Once done, move on to the next one. So, “having eaten an elephant piece by piece”, you will certainly come to your goal without hanging in a state of laziness.
Get your priorities right. When you clearly know what is important to you, what is important, what is secondary, this will reduce the likelihood of laziness.
Very often we are too strict with ourselves when we evaluate our actions and results. This leads to delay, and then to loss of results. This is because the ideal is unattainable, and the rigid limits that we set for ourselves give rise to nothing but laziness ...
The desire to do something can disappear in the process itself. It would seem that you started something, and even with joy, but then something stalled, motivation disappeared, laziness rolled in, you don’t want anything already, you think, “do I need it all this”, etc.

The most important thing in such a situation is to understand that this happens to everyone, and this is normal when laziness periodically attacks and you want to retreat, quit, be lazy ... There is no such thing that everything was “smooth and okay” from beginning to end.

Don't fight it, don't repress it, be aware and accept it as a fact, as an inevitable "side effect".

Observations show that, having ceased to struggle with this, to resist, to blame oneself for laziness, etc., a person ceases to be lazy and becomes "suddenly" many times more effective!

Be sure to motivate yourself with everything you can: it can be any kind of encouragement in the form of snacks, a movie, relaxing and spending time with friends and family, and so on.
Praise yourself, write down your achievements, tell yourself more often that you are capable, smart, that you are doing everything right and you always succeed, that you are always lucky. This works, because often the reason for laziness is in low self-esteem, in the belief that we are small, weak, incapable individuals that were once instilled in us ...

Gradually, little by little, you will see the result yourself, it will inspire you, and you will no longer need to praise yourself, you will already, deep inside yourself, firmly know that you can do whatever you want!

Just start. Yes, that's right, friends!

Many people, having succumbed to laziness, "sink" in it for so long that they simply cannot and do not want to move and do anything ... Motivation is at zero. Rewarding yourself doesn't help. Goals are not inspiring.

How to overcome laziness?

Take the first step. One. And just START. Despite any "cries of the mind" and the resistance of the body.

Get Started! This is a “trickster” that has been tested by many (and by me personally more than once!) and which easily launches a new impulse. And then everything goes like clockwork.

My own “life hack” that ALWAYS helps me get up and start doing what I need to do: DO NOT THINK and DO NOT MEDIT! Do not “chew” any thoughts in your mind, do not think over anything, do not doubt, do not think about what I will do first, and what - later, but how it will all be, and when I will complete this task, and so on ...

NO THOUGHTS! I just got up and went to work. It's just like (sorry for the comparison, this is to make it clear) "zombie", if you want ... ☺

Friends, effectively is not the right word!

To be honest, first of all, I always first try this method of combating laziness, and if it doesn’t help (which happens very rarely), then I try to “kill” it in other ways.

One of the ways to “kill” your laziness (my favorite too is to go out for a walk in the fresh air. And not just wander slowly, barely dragging your feet, but like that. You know, actively, cheerfully, quickly, but to good music in headphones, breathing in full chest air and rejoicing in the sun, birds, wind, snow, heat, rain, puddles - no matter what. The main thing is to go and smile, rejoice in everything you see and absorb all the charm of Life! ☺

Honestly, half an hour is an hour of such a brisk walk, and that's all - upon returning home, you are as good as new! So much strength, so much desire, so much inspiration to do something!

If you work in an office, then the best thing is a morning run, active walking, any other movements in the morning on fresh air: cycling, swimming in the river, and even just leaving the house 15 minutes earlier and cheerfully walking to work (or a few stops in total if you are far away).

These simple actions launch directly " new life» in you, friends, honestly, try it and you will feel it! Then you say: “Laziness? No… I don’t know… What is it, huh?” … ☺

Never give up! Never. Under no circumstances. No matter how many times you try, no matter how many times you start and then quit, no matter how many “failures” are behind your shoulders!

Never give up!

You can, I believe!

When your hands go down, instead of putting them down, do this:

Think again about your ultimate goal, think about how happy you will be if you achieve it, and how disgusting it will be in your soul if you give up everything now without bringing the matter “to mind”.

Think about what you have ALREADY achieved. Do you really want all your efforts, time and efforts to be in vain? I don't think so... ☺

Never fight laziness in such a way that you later get a neurosis. You don't have to beat yourself up if you feel like you can't... Don't beat yourself up. No need to scoff, it will be even worse.

There are times when you do not need to do anything with laziness. When you just need to survive it, plunging into doing nothing and being too lazy to your heart's content.

Be lazy, give yourself a “time-out”, forget about everything for a while, have a good rest.

Then get up, go and do it!

Do not "hang" for a long time in a state of laziness, it is dangerous because then everything will be even more difficult ...

Be sure to review your surroundings. Who surrounds you, what kind of people are they? What are their life goals what do they want, how much do they do for it? What are their results in life? Are they “sloths” or are they “doers”?

What is it for?

Our environment influences us so powerfully that we cannot even imagine!

You will never be successful and lazy person, reaching "one-two-three" their goals, if there are people in your environment who do not want to change anything in their lives or those who periodically start doing it, but leave everything halfway, without achieving anything in the end!

Be sure to exercise. It doesn't matter which. Anyone. The main thing is every day if possible. Physical exercise develop the will and desire to win. Loading the body physically, we do not give laziness a single chance.
Look at the athletes: it is unlikely that you will find a “highly lazy” person among them!
Do not watch TV, do not "sink" on stupid series and shows. Scientists have proven that such activities contribute to the development of laziness!
Another interesting scientific data, friends. It turns out that drinking and smoking reduces the ability to achieve one's goals, kills motivation, contributes to the development of a lazy character and unwillingness to change anything in one's life, and also (as a result) contributes to the emergence of dissatisfaction.
Always try to do everything with love in your heart, tune in joyfully and positively. Never start a task with a frown on your face!
If it's hard for you - smile!

Do not want? Smile!

Sick of all? Smile again!

Remember, the heavier you are, the wider your smile should be. This should be your rule forever.

And, in fact, it's just ancient method who came to us from yoga, only - shh! .. ☺

What does it give?

It trains your brain that action is GOOD, it's cool, it's interesting, it's enjoyable. This simple technique helps to immediately cope with possible “I don’t want to, I won’t”, fears, etc.

The brain gets used to the fact that doing something is nice, it gives results, it's cool, it's cool and it's fun. Well, you convinced him of this with your smile! ☺

Yes, at first your smile will be crooked, oblique and forced ... But very little time will pass, and you will see. How fun you take on new things, and with what enthusiasm you continue to do it, despite any obstacles and difficulties!

What's the laziness? Oh well ... And you will not think about it!

Remember, friends, “either you build your life, or it “builds” you!”

This is the Law of Life.

Therefore - only Forward! And don't listen to anyone! Do not give up on your dreams, try, try, create every day, inspire others and be inspired yourself!

Burn with your goals, long for them, rejoice in your small and big achievements, always give thanks and want even more!

And then any "attacks" of laziness will be temporary and small, just as a way to relax, "lay low", "relax" and, having a good buzz from everything already achieved, having tasted "according to full program» from your results, gain strength and move on in life!

Write in the comments, how do you fight laziness, what are your favorite "opposing" methods?

I hope I was helpful to you today.

See you soon!

Cheers to all, friends!

Alena Yasneva was with you, bye everyone!

Leading classes in sacred geometry and mandala drawing, author of the blog "Life is like a miracle." I like to develop, learn something new, pass through myself, and then share the most interesting, strong and heartfelt with other people. I do yoga, body-oriented and breathing practices I dance, draw and cook.

www.awonderfullife.ru

facebook.com/irina.nikishina.7

vk.com/id83395257

“What if no one comes to me?” - my old childhood fear. AT school years I was afraid that none of my friends would come to my birthday, and I would be blowing out candles on a birthday cake, surrounded only by my parents and older brother. As an adult, I worked as a PR for ten years, and every time a couple of days before the event that I arranged, I started to panic: “What if no one comes”?

Interestingly, my fears never came true. My birthdays were noisy and fun, events have always been popular both among journalists and among clients, partners and other guests. And so, when a month ago I announced my mandala drawing course, my old childhood fear, like a little evil devil, crawled out of the depths of the subconscious and asked my eternal crafty question: “What if no one comes to you?”. My reasonable-intelligent brain immediately began throwing up “convincing” evidence that he was right: “Yes, no one needs this now”, “The market is overloaded with various courses on creativity and self-development”, “To go far”, etc. etc.

Driven by fear, I began to announce my classes with even greater enthusiasm, making mailing lists, posting ads on the Internet and inviting in person. A couple of weeks before the start of the course passed in active training. But the fear didn't go away. On the contrary, as the appointed date approached, he became stronger and more intrusive.

Day X came. I arrived at the creative center, with which there was an agreement to conduct my classes, in advance. She unhurriedly prepared the space: she laid out sheets of paper, arranged cups with colored pencils and felt-tip pens, turned on the music, sat down at the table and waited, listening for anyone to come. But there was silence outside the door. My worst fears came true - no one came to me. At the table, prepared with such love by me, I sat alone, not hiding my annoyance and regret. It must have been a few minutes, but for me those minutes stretched into hours.

And then suddenly I felt that in fact I have a choice: to wallow in self-pity and regrets about unfulfilled dreams, or to accept everything as it is, without drawing any conclusions, without making assessments and without blaming anyone for anything.

Yes, no one came to class - that's a fact. But, oddly enough, the world did not collapse from this. And I didn't die either. Nothing terrible happened. I am sitting in a beautiful, comfortable room, around me are colored pencils, felt-tip pens, erasers, crayons, compasses, pleasant music sounds, smells of jasmine. Beauty, and only. And suddenly I felt wildly funny. It's just incredibly funny. My God! What I had been so afraid of for so many years, upon closer examination, turned out to be complete nonsense. Ghost! The fruit of a diseased imagination. No wonder they say that fear has big eyes.

I suddenly looked at myself from the side and saw a little frightened girl who is afraid that no one will come to her, but for her it is like death. After all, in childhood it really is: rejection - real threat for life. And when in childhood we forbid ourselves to live out our fear (we simply don’t have the resource for it), it gets stuck inside us and sits long and hard until we consciously allow ourselves to give up. Those. “die” in your expectations, in your ideas about yourself, about how everything should turn out in life. Allow yourself to be defeated, defeated, unsuccessful. In short, the one who, according to her own conviction, “cannot be”. Let go of yourself, stop controlling the situation, trust life and accept what comes to us from a state of complete surrender.

When there are difficulties in our lives, we tend to try to quickly deal with them. But not easy life situations are given to us not so that we change them, but so that we ourselves change in them. By changing ourselves, we change the world around us.

I spit on all expectations and accepted the fact that yes, no one will come today, but this does not mean at all that no one needs my classes, or something is wrong with me. And as soon as I stopped tyrannizing myself, treated myself with tenderness, sympathy and slight irony, the door opened, and a woman entered the hall. It was Svetlana. And she came to my classes. Can you imagine? Just to me and to my classes! How cool!

Frankly, I forgot that we wrote off the day before, and that between us there was an agreement to meet. If we have some kind of false belief or a program laid down by no one knows who, then we will adjust our reality to a ready-made template.

Our session went great. Svetlana turned out to be a deep, sincere and talented woman. One person also came to my second lesson. But my feelings and sensations from this were completely different. No regrets or regrets. I was happy with everything and accepted everything with gratitude. I still have no guarantees that someone will come to me. But there is no fear either. Nothing spoils my mood and does not take strength before classes. By the way, three weeks later I held a master class for as many as twelve people. And this is just the beginning!

How to deal with anxiety and fear? A few rules that I came up with for myself:

Let go of control over the situation, and over life in general. Stop expecting things to happen the way you planned. Events happen that are beyond our control: we are not able to answer for other people, influence some external circumstances, etc. Accept any outcome of the case, without judgment, panic and indignation. Take it as a lesson, after passing which you will receive a new life experience, new opportunities, new perspectives will open before you, you will see the situation from a different angle.

Let spontaneity into your life. Plan and organize your life process healthy. But be prepared to change and make adjustments. Life always offers us many other great ideas and opportunities that we often overlook behind our strict schedule, our rigid planning, our limited vision of how things should happen.

Take off your crown. Do not strive to be always successful and prosperous. Forgive yourself for what you can’t do and what you don’t have time to do. Allow yourself to lose, fall and even crash. Having broken, you will see that the image of a “successful and prosperous person” no longer exists. And this image no longer needs to be maintained. The worst has already happened. Now you can relax, rest, catch your breath, get up and move on, easily and freely, concentrating your strength, attention and resources on something more important and worthwhile.

Do not resist your fear, do not fight it, and in no case, do not say that you are not afraid. Fear is important to acknowledge. Without evaluations, judgments and sentencing. Approach it, consider it more carefully: how it manifests itself in your body, what sensations you experience while doing it, watch them. Breathe deeply and calmly. Live consciously all your sensations. Allow yourself to be afraid. After a while, you will feel how the iron grip of your fear has weakened, and you will feel better. And a little later you will see all the inconsistency and absurdity of your anxieties and fears.

A small digression, it was a beautiful spring day, the warm and gentle sun was shining, the birds were chirping cheerfully outside the window, and the sounds of drops, the noise of passing cars, laughter from the playground were heard in the office at the same time ...

Almost at the end of the working day, a girl of about 18 came to the reception. A pretty, smart student, only her eyes were shifty and uncertain. At my suggestion to tell about the reason for seeking a consultation with tears in her eyes, she began to say that the last few months afraid to die. The fact is that a number of events (her friend died in a car accident, the cuckoo cuckooed 2 times on a hike to a well-known question), which happened about half a year ago, contributed to the fear of death, which then turned into a real phobia.

Fear is a normal reaction of the body to external stimuli.

Psychologists often say that fear is normal reaction organism on external stimuli . Fear is the instinct of self-preservation, is a normal reaction in a life-threatening situation, and in a situation age development personality is even useful. Fear, like any other emotion, appears spontaneously and is difficult to control.

If the fear becomes more intense, everyday feeling, accompanied by various physiological symptoms, turns into a kind of personal problem, it becomes a phobia. He accompanies a person everywhere: at school, at work, on the street and at home, in the company of friends, etc. Increased tearfulness, dizziness, sweating, choking, palpitations, nausea, general psychological and physiological discomfort are frequent companions of phobias.

Fear of death- this is an existential fear, which to one degree or another is always present in the human psyche, it is one of the most common phobias. This fear often occurs in people who are sensitive and impressionable, also in children and the elderly.

Its intensity can be reduced with the help of special techniques. Many people eventually get rid of certain fears on their own, gain new life experience, become calmer and gradually their life is getting better. Although this is a lengthy process. The psychologist will help to cope with fear, phobia quickly and effectively.

We met with my client a month after several consultations. Calm and confident look girls - that's what caught my eye in the first place. We talked with her about her successes and new plans for the near and far future, she shared some of her thoughts about life, which she came to after our classes. I was very happy with these new thoughts, because. they were indicators that the phobia was gone, and it was replaced by peace of mind and peace of mind!

Cultivating Myths Generates Even Greater Fear

Unfortunately, today such myths are actively cultivated by the media, various healers-soothsayers, as well as numerous false psychologists. Having nothing to do with reality, they, nevertheless, can greatly influence our lives and our perception of the world. By convincing himself that “something is wrong” with his life, a person thereby programs his own failures.

When a person believes that he was born under an unlucky star or that he was “damaged”, he begins to see around him only that which corresponds to his conviction. He looks and sees his own fears. And indeed, after some time, health and luck leave him.

Law - like attracts like

“Like attracts like” - this psychological law was discovered by the ancient sages. Feeling fear and anxiety, a person actually begins to attract misfortune to himself. He acts and gets into situations provoked by his own fears. So your fears, like a mirror, reflect what is inside you, creating the illusion that the world is evil, unjust and full of enemies.

Fear in the position of the victim

If, following the lead of your fears, you place the cause of your experiences, the cause of your problems outside, and not inside yourself, you thereby become a victim. It's not you, it's someone else - parents, teachers, friends, husband, wife, state - are constantly in charge in your life, and you yourself have nothing to do with these events - this is the position of the victim.

Unfortunately, today many people live comfortably this way. And profitable. After all, the position of the victim always gives a lot of dubious advantages. It gives you the opportunity to do nothing yourself, shifting responsibility for your life to others.

It helps you manipulate the guilt of those you blame for your failures. You gain power over those you make feel guilty for your "suffering." Are you just happier because of it? Have problems and misfortunes gone from your life? Are you flourishing? Very doubtful.

If at the same time you are convinced that only a fortune-teller grandmother who “poureds on wax” and “rolls out an egg” can save you from all misfortunes, things are very bad. We will not talk about whether this method is effective " psychological help". In the end, a person can always be helped by what he firmly believes in.

Powerful tool psychological impact. By simply shifting responsibility for your life to another person, you thereby hand over to him the keys to your own soul. Keys that he can dispose of as he pleases. And not necessarily for your good. Much more often - for their own benefit.

When we believe that someone else is able to bring success and prosperity into our lives - God, the devil, another Fuhrer, astrologer-astrologer - anyone, but not ourselves - this is also the position of the victim. We become very easy to manage.

authorities,

of money.

He wants for himself, not for us ...

Hatred and envy of others

In principle, the position of the victim is no worse than other roles that we all play in life. But it has one feature. It always gives rise within us to a feeling of worthlessness, powerlessness and, as a result, hatred and envy towards the people around us. To those who are stronger, more successful, better than us. Powerlessness always gives rise to envy, hatred and cruelty. It is very unpleasant and painful to be aware of these feelings in yourself, but believe me, you have no other choice but to admit to yourself that they exist. Do it right now without delay. And then begin to honestly experience them, gradually letting go of yourself. And then impotence will begin to transform into strength.

Try to understand that even Providence itself will not solve our problems for us. He can only help us in our good endeavors. This is how the world works, these are its laws. If a person has the strength and intelligence to create a problem, then he will always have internal resources to free himself from this burden. The main thing is to learn how to manage these resources. And then you will no longer need external crutches to go through life on your own. You will be able to decide your own life problems without resorting to the help of psychic healers or psychologists-consultants. You only need to apply necessary knowledge and efforts, and the world will immediately take a reciprocal step towards you. You will begin to move towards health and perfection.

The key to your own life is to replace fears

By shifting attention from external causes own failures inward, you get the key to own life. You replace old fears-limitations with new constructive thoughts, and after a while a completely different reality opens up before you. Those who have tried to work on themselves in this direction are convinced of the effectiveness this method. The American dream going from paperboy to millionaire is of the same nature. People who managed to escape from poverty managed to overcome the negative programming that they received along with their fears. They allowed themselves to create new mental images: “My future is in my hands!”, “I am learning to think positively and act constructively!”, and as a result they got what they wanted.

So what do we need to understand about ourselves and the world around us? What to do?

First, you need to understand what are the basic prerequisites for success in life.
Secondly, learn to work with your fears and problems that stand in our way.

Success in life is always associated with the basic purpose of human existence - the need for self-realization. Failure to understand or deny this need makes a person unhappy. After all, you can achieve high material well-being and position in society, but not feel happy at the same time, because the need for self-realization has remained unsatisfied.

A person realizes himself in society only if he has a sufficient level of mental energy. The latter determines its performance, and at the same time sufficient plasticity, harmony of the psyche. This allows you to effectively adapt in society. Psychologists say that only a harmonious, strong and stable personality can achieve success in life. We will conditionally call such a person psychologically healthy. The state of psychological health is characterized by general mental comfort and effective self-control.

Basic characteristics of human psychological health

Adequate self-esteem and a sense of self-respect.
The ability to adapt to the ever-changing conditions of life.
The ability to effectively satisfy one's needs and the ability to compensate for those that cannot be met at the moment.
The confidence of a person that he usually manages his own life. Such a person is aware of the limitations of his freedom, because he understands that there are things that do not depend on him. Therefore, he does not necessarily seek to subordinate the whole world to his will.
ability to do independent choice make your own decision, stick to your own life plan. The ability not to follow the lead of various soothsayers, political leaders, "great teachers" and other "rulers of thoughts." The ability to resist their influence and not succumb to the magic of their dubious authority.
The ability to courageously overcome difficulties and disappointments without resorting to alcoholism, drug addiction, etc.
The ability to care for other people. The selfish person is usually unhappy because he has many unsatisfied and insatiable needs.
The ability to treat other people kindly and trustingly. Lack of envy of the success of your colleagues, relatives, friends and acquaintances.
The ability to act effectively and enjoy the work done.

The more points that correspond to your actual (and not desirable) attitude towards life, the closer you stand to true psychological health. After all, it is mental health largely determines our life achievements because it:

directly affects the functions of the body and thus on physical aspects our well-being;
helps to adapt to various living conditions;
contributes to the formation of a sense of self-esteem and dignity, which are necessary to motivate life achievements;
affects relationships with other people and through them - on successful personal and professional growth;
largely determines the performance and material well-being;
gives a feeling of fullness and meaning of life, which makes people happy.

How you can and should work with fears and problems

It is thoughts-fears that very often create problems and illnesses in our life. Remember psychological law: "Like attracts like" .

Why are the actions of qualified doctors often ineffective?
Why do manipulations of psychics who influence a person with a biofield often turn out to be ineffective?
Why does some time pass, and a person with his past complaints again turns for help, but to another "healer"?
Because we have not changed our attitude towards ourselves and the world around us.

Our fears have not gone away, they have remained with us. Looking at the world, we continue to look only into our soul, which is full of fears - we see not life, but our fears and nothing more. Therefore, the first stage on the path to success is getting rid of fears, psychological harmonization.

It all depends on my desire and taste

Exist countless methods that allow you to harmonize both the body and the soul: sports and hardening, massage and manual correction, psychotherapeutic techniques and yoga, martial arts and meditation... All of them are a complex of general health-improving methods. It is possible to influence the body by receiving a secondary psychological effect. Or vice versa. It all depends on your desire and taste.

In our opinion, it is reasonable to dwell on meditation, because of its ease, accessibility and extreme effectiveness for internal harmonization. We suggest that you regularly perform a small meditation exercise which will help you achieve useful results. We suggest doing it for real, and not just trying to imagine in your thoughts. To really feel and understand any exercise, it is always necessary to test it in practice. Only then will you acquire specific skills, you will be able to change your life for the better. Mindfulness is nothing compared to practice

To calm through relaxation

Generally speaking, meditation is relaxation that promotes calmness. The essence of meditation is simply to sit and look ahead. You just sit, just look, hear, become aware of what is happening in front of you and within you.

You can sit in "lotus", "half lotus" (yogic postures), in Turkish or in a regular chair. If you are sitting on the floor, place a small pillow under you, which should be angled to make it easier to keep your spine upright. Be careful! When you are sitting, your whole body should be relaxed. This will help block fears to rise to the surface of consciousness more easily and go away. The ideal state is when you sit and see what is in front of you, hear every sound, then you are open to the world. If your attention gradually and imperceptibly becomes clouded and floats away, do not reproach yourself, but simply renew the sharpness of perception. Do this and the meditation will take place.

When you meditate, a lot of extraneous thoughts can appear in your brain. Don't fight them, let them come and go. As the feeling of relaxation begins to spread throughout your body, your mind will calm down and thoughts will disappear on their own. Then you will begin to truly discover your own inner world.

If you have thoughts that create fear

If there are problems in your life, and you have a lot of thoughts-fears inside you, do this:

When you enter a state of meditation, you "put" in front of you a specific fear, a problem that worries you, and allow them to "be".
You remove all kinds of problems moral assessments good-bad type.
You are not looking to improve things. Gradually, your soul, which you have driven into a dark corner with the help of your fears, will begin to awaken. After a while, you will see the world unfold before you in the right direction- because the solution to all problems is always within us, you just need to listen to your wisdom and trust the flow of life.
Then you simply look at your problem or fear, experiencing and letting go of those feelings that appear at the same time.
If you see fit, you can ask yourself an unpleasant question: “What will happen if ...” For example, if you are afraid of deception or you have already been deceived, and this has become your problem, you can ask yourself: “What will happen if all life will deceive me by everyone, anyone? By posing the question in this way, you raise your deep feelings of fear. Start experiencing these feelings! Remember! What you experience when you let go is gone from you forever!

Thus, you can work with any negative emotions. Just do not stay in them for too long, otherwise you can get sick.

If you daily, without straining yourself, devote some time to meditation, if you set yourself questions that you would like to understand, then gradually the quality of your life will improve.

Remember! Meditating with fear or a problem will never bring them into your life, because what you pay attention to, what you are aware of and experienced, loses power over you.

Physical activity can help fight fears

While meditating, it is highly desirable to set aside time for physical exercises: physical work, sports, running, aerobics, martial arts, etc. Physical activity will help to balance the transformation process that will gradually begin to occur within you.

Mistakes that reduce the effectiveness of meditation.

Tense body - in whole or in part.
Curved spine - to the side, forward or backward.
Wrong position of the head. (The line of the neck should be straight)
Irregular or irregular breathing.
Strive internally to get results.
Hurry yourself, don't give yourself time.
Get attached to extraneous thoughts and get distracted.
Arrogance.
Arrogance.
Arrogance.

If you did the meditation correctly, then after it you will have a cheerful state and a crystal clear mind. Your thoughts will become sharp as a blade, and you will be able to calmly "cut through" any problem that arises in front of you.

If fog appears around (or inside) you, and something incomprehensible begins to happen to your head, stop meditation. Relax for a few days current affairs. If you are attentive and vigilant, if you listen to yourself, you will always find a way out of any situation. Remember, the quieter you go, the further you will be.

If after meditation you feel irritation, this is a sign that either a mental block or unclaimed creative energy is rising inside you. get busy exercise, sweat properly until the irritation leaves you.

As you work on yourself, you will have both ups and downs. Upswings happen because old fears leave you. You begin to trust yourself and others. A new attitude towards life awakens in your soul.

Internal indecision and uncertainty are inherent in both women and men.

And although it is common for the beautiful half of humanity to be weak and need protection, it is not at all natural, due to obsessive tightness and constraint, to limit one's own life in many ways.

Not knowing how to overcome self-doubt, fear and embarrassment, most notorious people continue to infringe on their needs for fear of doing something wrong. The causes of insecurity are quite extensive and individual for each, but the most common (which can give rise to other consequences) is the regular devaluation of any actions of a child or adolescent.

Under rudeness, rudeness, swagger and arrogance, the stronger sex often tries to hide shyness and self-doubt, timidity. Fear of duties at work, reproaches at home and the inability to fight back or the indifference of friends ...

All this is generated by self-doubt, which is reverse side low self-esteem. What reasons can give impetus to a person’s self-doubt and his fear of communication?

Sources of uncertainty:

Exaggerated demands and expectations of others that did not materialize.
Conviction of parents in the worthlessness and mediocrity of their child.
Perception of any failure in the form of a large-scale tragedy.
Dependence on the opinion of society.

Signs of a weak character:

The inability to answer a categorical "no".
Suspiciousness.
Subservience and subservience to other people.
General stiffness and depression in communication.
Fear of offending someone.
Inability to make decisions.

Fight with yourself

Modesty is not at all an obstacle to a full-fledged lifestyle, but insecurity is fraught with the fact that they do not pay attention to a person. Inside a person there is a constant struggle and unsettles him.

He feels dependent on society and various situations, unable to become independent and self-sufficient in everything, while experiencing terrible psychological discomfort. The question of how to overcome self-doubt is considered by psychology from several points of view, based on what influenced the individual - upbringing or his behavior.

It is quite difficult to change some character traits and one's perception, since the habits that began to badly affect our existence were fixed for years, and the person considered this to be normal. Until I realized real problem faced with indecision and fears already in adulthood.

If you start thinking about how to overcome shyness and self-doubt, you can be surprised to note that this is a completely solvable difficulty. But in no case should you continue to fuel this problem by driving yourself into depression and starting to get nervous, and then relieve tension with the help of pills or alcohol.

What to do if self-doubt does not allow you to live in peace?

Ways to get rid of self-doubt:

Do nice little things for loved ones to talk about your ideas and thoughts without fear of being misunderstood.
Workout and leave the comfort zone in the form of a cozy chair and a soft blanket.
Break down your plans and goals into step-by-step actions. So dreams become not so unattainable and scary.
Tune in positive emotions and don't take failure too personally. You need to understand that any bad luck is a valuable lesson that will give wisdom and help you achieve your goal more easily. It is necessary to inspire yourself with a positive attitude and faith in your own strength every day.
Stop reviewing your actions and words with the eyes of other people. Someone else's opinion is good. You can listen to him, but you always have to decide for yourself. Do not allow yourself to be pressured and manipulated. Defending your own point of view and not depending on others is the main rule of a confident and successful person.

Make new friends, get into that environment that will be homely, cozy and pleasant for you, get rid of communication with unsympathetic people. After all, the sphere social interaction greatly affects the worldview and thoughts.
self esteem- the best ally in the fight against insecurity and constraint. Love yourself.
Learn something new all the time not be afraid of the unknown and unknown. New facets will allow you to look at the world more broadly and not be afraid of change.
Take it easy on the things that matter. Depreciation important aspects will bring relaxation, and you will stop intimidating your subconscious mind with the eternal "what will happen if ...".
See a person in a similar situation that seems frightening and unrealistic to you, which in practice proves its experience and confidence in this issue. Then the fear will dissolve.
Awareness in the matter(whether new job or an exam) contributes to the fact that there is nothing to fuel the fear. Judge for yourself - why be afraid if you know how and know everything?

Tests to help you become more confident

In order to understand how to overcome fear and self-doubt, you can set yourself permanent tasks and complete them. different ways, noting for himself how easier and easier it is to act in a particular case. For example:

Go to any store and ask the seller to carefully advise you about a certain product, and then thank him and leave without buying anything.
Approach a passerby and ask for some information.
Come to a cafe and make acquaintance with the guy / girl you like by inviting to the cinema or offering a cup of coffee.

To get rid of the uncertainty and take additional opportunity to become stronger, it is necessary to reveal fears, reminding ourselves that this is only a temptation that makes us defenseless and susceptible to negativity.

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Let your psyche rest, stop winding yourself up with things that may not even happen. Start moving forward and repeat to yourself “I can do it!”.

Friends, do fears often visit you? What are you doing with them? Do you have good methods deal with them? Do you know how to deal with fears?

Fear – natural state organism. We all experience fear often. different situations and by different reasons. It can be useful and warn us against stupid actions: for example, thanks to fear, we go around a dark alley at night and go on a safer path. But sometimes this emotion takes possession of us even when real reasons no worries: for example, a young scientist on the defense of his doctorate cannot connect two words because of fear public speaking or a shy guy is afraid to approach a girl and get to know her. It is about such “domestic fears” that will be discussed in this article.

So, fear can become a serious obstacle on the way to happy life. A person who is afraid to fail, to be rejected, to be ridiculed and unrecognized, is unlikely to succeed. A person who is overly shy will not be able to make friends, an insecure person will not be successful with the opposite sex, and so on. What to do if your own fears prevent you from living? How can you deal with them when it seems that you are at the mercy of your uncontrollable emotions? We tend to believe that there is a way out, and a person can overcome his own fears. And there is only one way to do it.

How to deal with fears. good ways

It is important to get first the right attitude. After all, the biggest and most revolutionary changes in human life begin with a small sprout of understanding in our brain. The idea, at first barely noticeable, then grows and occupies our entire being. Therefore, it is important to understand that if you do not overcome your fears, then you risk remaining a loser for the rest of your life. Realize this very clearly, imagine yourself in ten years, and what can happen if you do not change. Loneliness, poverty, depression? Immediately there is a desire to do anything, just to avoid it. Awareness of the severity of the consequences is the best incentive to work. So, this attitude should become very clear to you: you are going to fight your fears at all costs. Either you or they - and it cannot be otherwise. Now, if you're really set up properly, it's time to get down to business.

Many will agree that overcome fear the only way is to constantly face it face to face until you no longer feel it. It is absolutely impossible, sitting at home, to decide that you will no longer be afraid, because it prevents you from living and changing at once. Instead, imagine that you are sick with a serious illness, but can be cured. It won't happen quickly, but you are willing to persevere in healing, even if it takes months or years. It is this attitude that will be correct.

Fear is closely related to willpower. It is important to understand that all people are afraid. If there is such a person who does not experience fear at all, then this is clearly anomalous phenomenon. So, if all people are afraid, then what distinguishes a coward from a brave man? Skill by force of will force yourself to overcome your fear. The ability to decide on something, despite the fear. If at a public meeting you do not agree with the announcer, but are afraid to express your remark so as not to be ridiculed, then you are a coward. If you are still afraid, but still dare to speak out, then you are not a coward for a second, because you were able to overcome this in yourself. It is not at all ashamed to be afraid, it is a shame to be so weak as not to fight your fear.

So, to fight you will need willpower and perseverance. There are no obviously successful “recipes” and “methods” for training willpower. Just fight your shortcomings at every moment of your life, and even when you lose this fight, try to resume it as soon as possible. This is the only true and reliable recipe. Do not be afraid that people can see your fear - because soon you will overcome it, you are already on this path.

One familiar boxer - a candidate for master of sports - told me that he was absolutely calm before entering the ring. Someone will be surprised and say: "It's a pity that I can't do that." But the same person admitted that this was not always the case. Calmness is the result of more than seventy fights in the ring. Even the greatest people were once afraid, they just forced themselves to go further by an effort of will, and only because of this they were able to achieve something. This is important to understand in order to stock up on perseverance and focus.