How to get back to work after the weekend. Female power: how to set yourself up in the right way

Specialists in the field of personnel management, business coaches, using a variety of methods of work, agree on one thing: a person will long time work without any external incentives, only doing what you love. Only in this situation the financial component and other material bonuses, remaining important factors yet fade into the background. At the same time, self-motivation is not an innate, but an acquired ability. If it is developed, then the desire to work will depend to a lesser extent on external factors and the question of how to go from doing nothing to active work will lose its relevance.

The main thing to start with when taking on a difficult task is to decide why I need it. Roman Elizarov, business coach, NOU " Education Centre“Business Development”: “One of my acquaintances says that she thinks badly and moves if she is not paid enough for it. To do both faster, you need to find a key motive for yourself. When the receiver is not accurately tuned to a wave, we hear wheezing and other noise. So a person should be tuned to the WII - FM frequency, which means "What's in it for me?" “Why should I?” Decide why - and start thinking and moving. Otherwise, what a person will do cannot be called effective, this was proved by Adam Smith in his famous book, where he analyzed, among other things, the effectiveness of forced labor.
And what to do if the goal is defined, but the body is still “protecting itself” from “unnecessary work”, and enlightenment, the flight of thought, the volcano of ideas, the drive is still not observed? This state is defined in different ways: someone calls it a creative crisis, and someone simply laziness. Alexander Novikov, management and HR development consultant: “One of the most common reasons for this condition is the fear of not being able to complete the task. But getting rid of it is not so difficult - break a big deal into several small tasks and set deadlines. Create a fighting mood for yourself and get to work: without looking back at the complexity of the entire task, methodically complete each of the subtasks within the time limit you have specified. Slowly but surely, you will begin to move towards the intended goal, and the path from one stage to another will seem easier and easier. There is another option to cope with an unloved or boring business - to solve several problems at the same time. Let it take 15-20 minutes to do one thing, then take on another. If you suddenly feel that you are drawn in and do not want to switch, do not be distracted - the muse may fly away.
Vera Veselkina, corporate trainer of the ABAK-PRESS Publishing House, suggests using the following technique: “Sitting at the table, focus on some point, look at it without stopping for a minute or two. Thus, by focusing, you can get down to business that requires concentration. And it is also possible in literally wake yourself up - massage your earlobes, get up and stretch, do a few exercise. Tune your body, and then the head will also be included in the work.
Business coaches also offer such the right way move from doing nothing to productive work - imagine what bonuses you will receive for the work done. Mr. Elizarov: “If you really don’t want to do something, but it’s long overdue or really necessary, then you can come up with a reward for yourself or, conversely, a punishment in case of fulfillment or non-fulfillment. Only this incentive must be significant, otherwise a person will more easily agree with the punishment than complete the task.
If there is a stupor before difficult negotiations and you can’t pull yourself together, experts advise you to imagine desired result negotiations, to determine what can be sacrificed, and what in no case can not be. The main thing is confidence in one's position, at least at the time of negotiations, even if it is not perfect. If the stupor does not go away, you need to imagine an undesirable outcome of the negotiations - a failure on all positions. Describe this scenario to the smallest detail and evaluate the maximum damage that defeat will bring. This will help not only relieve unnecessary stress, but also understand that even with the most unsuccessful negotiations, life does not end, which means that, by and large, there is nothing to worry about.
There are other psychotechnics that can help a person concentrate and prepare for serious negotiations. The choice is often determined by the nature of the situation itself. Roman Elizarov: “For example, there are important negotiations with a presentation. In order to successfully manage oneself in this situation, it is necessary to prepare, that is, to liberate: a) the head; b) voice; c) body. Here are a few tricks. For the "head" you can write a number of definitions for some object or event. The holiday is cheerful, state, student, with tears in the eyes, etc. - about 20-30 words. You can take well-known abbreviations (USSR, TOP) and come up with five new transcripts for each. For the “body”: read a familiar poem loudly and confidently, gesturing strongly, as if reinforcing the expressiveness of the speech, while the hands should not fall lower shoulder girdle. For the “voice”: pronounce a few tongue twisters as quickly and clearly as possible, you can even read from a sheet of paper.
Ms. Veselkina advises using this method: “If you are very worried before difficult negotiations and cannot overcome stress, take ten deep breaths - this will help you relax and relieve tension. Another proven way to set yourself up for successful negotiations is to imagine that the meeting is already over and you got everything you wanted from it. Fix it emotional condition and feel free to negotiate. Another psychotechnics will help those who feel insecure, cannot decide on public speaking. In this case, Vera Veselkina suggests using the following technique: “Remember your most important victories. How did you manage, for example, overcoming all difficulties, to pass difficult exam. If you are overwhelmed with pride, remember this state - and, without losing your mood, start the performance.

5 ways to get yourself together and start working 1. Decide why - and start thinking and moving.
2. Sell yourself your work.
3. Promise yourself a reward.
4. Break the big deal down into smaller tasks and set deadlines.
5. Wake up your body, and then the head will also be included in the work.
Yana Belskaya, management consultant, coach, business coach at the Higher School of Economics: “If you constantly feel lazy and bored at your workplace, you can’t gather yourself together, then most likely you need to urgently change your place of work. After all, when you do what you love (growing flowers, driving a car, writing articles, holding conferences, etc.), it brings you joy, pleasure, satisfaction - and laziness-boredom does not threaten you. Most of crises is connected with the fact that a person cannot find himself and even with all the external attributes of success he feels deep inner discomfort. If at this moment you arm him with psychotechniques, then he will be able to concentrate, collect his thoughts and force himself to work, but he will remain internally repulsed.
A person never experiences laziness and boredom just like that, in most cases (if this is not a manifestation of the syndrome chronic fatigue) is the voice of intuition that says: do not do this business, it is not yours, find and realize your calling! And the further you move away from your calling (especially with the use of psychotechnics), the more harm you will do to yourself and your body.

“Third day of reluctance to work - probably Wednesday” - a playful aphorism explains the goofing around in the workplace. And you don’t have time for fun: yesterday the day was wasted, today, until lunch, “counted the crows” and drove teas, and meanwhile no one will fulfill a bunch of orders from the boss for you. You remember the words “self-discipline” and “self-organization”, but your gaze stubbornly crawls out the window - to count the crows ... Let's try to pull ourselves together and not reach the handle.

The state of "everything in scrap" is familiar even to inveterate workaholics, so for starters, stop reproaching yourself for laziness and carelessness. Psychologists explain it this way: the "sloth" is afraid of a new undertaking, he is not sure that he will cope with the task - that's why he cannot decide on the first step. Or the situation is more complicated: getting down to business, rolling up your sleeves, interfere internal contradictions. Namely, the falsity of the goal. That is, the patron voiced the demand, you heeded the requests and wishes, but you don’t understand why you need to make a list of participants in a corporate party in alphabetical order, if you can safely take it from the personnel officer - well, you’d think that it was compiled by departments. From a change in the places of the terms, the sum will not change! However, it is more expensive for you to challenge the opinion, and for the third day in a row you are lining up the names of your colleagues according to the ABC. More precisely, you should do it, but you can’t force yourself. By the way, we forgot about the first reason - the fear of a new accomplishment. Here everything is simple and difficult at the same time: you just need to “just look” into the eyes of your fear, overcome it and complete the task to the envy of everyone. Yes, it's easy to say...

Especially for these cases, personnel specialists and other smart people came up with beautiful word“self-motivation” - how to force yourself to do something that you don’t even want to think about. Well, shall we get acquainted? And then you never know what else the valiant boss will puzzle ...

1. Do it right away to avoid mental anguish

For starters, a parable: once a wolf caught a hare and began to frighten the poor fellow: “Everything is oblique, I jumped! Now I will eat you - and there will be no bones left! Bunny cried: “Grey, don’t eat me right away! Let me say goodbye to the hare and hares, to trees, grasses and flowers. And in three days I will come to you myself, honestly! That's when you eat ... "The wolf took pity and released the captive. In due time, the hare appeared to the wolf all in tears: “Oh, little wolf, it would be better if you didn’t give me a reprieve, it would be better if you ate it right away! After all, I didn’t live all these days, but toiled in anticipation of death!

Do you understand what we are getting at? Don't put off things that you still have to do. You know it yourself: while you are pacing the corridor and office, drinking tea or looking at your nails, you are relentlessly haunted by the thought of letters to business partners. And you seem to understand that it will take a maximum of an hour, and you perfectly imagine the texts of the letters, but come on! You can't force yourself to work with any effort. Now think that if you stretch the rubber, then, firstly, you are guaranteed to get a scolding from the boss, and secondly, you will always be tormented by thoughts about the need to sit down and write these “despatches”. In general, why the extra spiritual ordeals? Take a breath and, “crossing yourself on the image”, get down to business.

2. "Everything has its time, to each his own ..."

You must have heard buzzword, as well as the fact that it is individual for each person, take at least the division into “larks” and “owls”. It is the same in the labor field: someone is full of strength and aspirations in the morning, and someone will only get hot by noon. If you know the “sin” behind you to nod off after dinner, regardless of whether you worked in the morning like a bee, or frankly filonil, introduce the morning “Stakhanov movement”. That is, plan all serious and responsible tasks at the beginning of the working day. And vice versa, if you understand that “at dawn” to demand accomplishments and feats from you is a dead number, transfer everything important to later hours.

3. "Do you have a plan, Mr. Fix?"

Self-motivation specialists in unison offer to draw up a work plan for the day and for the week. From the extensive personal experience let's say - so-so advice, C grade. Employees of middle management, accounting and secretariat are aware that no matter what the right plans you make, at any time they can be amended by the venerable superiors.

Let’s say you are typing a contract, you have given yourself over to the process, and then the chief accountant, a “kind woman,” comes running and throws a pile of papers on the table - in appearance, the four-volume “War and Peace” in disassembled form. "Urgently photocopy!" - she gives an order, and you understand that all your plans were covered with a copper basin. But a piece of paper with a dozen tasks for the day lies in front of your nose, and only two or three points are marked with a cross “done” there. What are you starting to do? That's right, to be nervous when your eyes fall on a damn piece of paper, and to consider the chief accountant a terrorist worse than Bin Laden. In a word, planning sometimes does not help to cope with tasks, but unsettles. Surely you yourself know that today - blood from the nose! - contracts must be prepared, mail sent and calls made to very important people, here you want - you will not forget. But out of respect for HR specialists, let's say: if planning helps you personally, plan. The rules are simple: in the first paragraphs - priority tasks, "in the basement" - secondary matters. And of course, do not forget to mark with a red asterisk what has already been “ejaculated”.

4. "Take a break - eat ... or drink tea"

“Like a sheep on a new gate,” you think about yourself with disapproval, without ceasing to stare at the computer and pointlessly move the cursor across the screen. There can be two reasons for such inglorious behavior: either you are rather tired, or a person of a creative profession and “hung” in anticipation of the visit of the muse. In both cases, a break is needed. Get distracted, free your head from thoughts, do something else. And there the muse will arrive in time, and the head will “ventilate”.

5. “And it could have been worse…”

Of course, such problems rarely arise if you are busy doing what you love and surrounded by benevolent people. However, both with that and with the other in life, as a rule, tension. In such cases, the German behavioral and communication consultant Eberhard Heul proposes to replace negative emotions to positive. For example, think like this: “Now I’ll prepare a response to this statement of claim, and everyone will see what a cool pro I am!”

But, as you know, what is good for a German, then for a Russian ... is not quite suitable. Think a little differently: after all, everything could be worse, moreover, someone really has both conditions and a team a hundred times more unpleasant. Especially for this point, we got a comic example of self-motivation. So: “If you can’t force yourself to work in any way, if everything around you annoys you, imagine that you would be a reindeer herder Far North. What would your life be like? We will see. Monday: you herd deer. Tuesday: you herd deer. Wednesday: you herd deer. Thursday: You herd deer. Friday: you herd deer. Saturday: thought it was a day off, right? Figushki! You are herding deer. Sunday: well, you already understand what you are doing, right? Waiting for you in the plague: a terrible wife, seven hungry children and salted venison for dinner. You bathe twice in your life: at birth and after death. you never saw hot water. Berries and roots gathered by your children are a real delicacy for you... Compare this life with what you have now. Rejoice. Cry with happiness. And finally, thank yourself for not becoming a reindeer herder in the Far North…”

This method of self-persuasion is especially good in the conditions of a global crisis: it is not so scary to lose an unloved job as it is terrifying not to find another one. Think about it and get to work.

6. "Constant thoughts, cursed thoughts"

Psychologists say that sometimes extraneous thoughts interfere with completely surrendering to work - and here we completely agree with them. It is difficult or even impossible to concentrate on pressing matters if the soul is not in the right place: for example, yesterday the husband came late and explained too confusingly what kind of ups and downs he was detained. Or you are waiting for the results of tests from the clinic and, due to natural suspiciousness, have already “hung” yourself with Ebola fever, coupled with bubonic plague. In the end, even banal thoughts can distract you, that you really want to change your hairstyle right now, in this moment. In this regard, the same "experts human souls two methods are recommended. The first is to turn into Scarlet O'Hara, say to yourself: "I'll think about it tomorrow" - and sit down for the quarterly report. True, for this you need to be a person of remarkable willpower. The second way is to fix the annoying problem. Yes, during the break, rush to the hairdresser and warn the chef that you will be a little late. In any case, as practice shows, after getting rid of intrusive thoughts and ideas are argued much more successfully than if you squeezed effort out of yourself drop by drop.

7. "Find and neutralize" or "unleash your hands"

About how difficult it is to force yourself to work for the prosperity of the company, if there is unlimited access to Internet resources or an enticing game is installed on the computer, office sufferers know firsthand. It would seem that you are glad this very minute to sit down to prepare a report for the boss, but no! Again you go to a humorous site and read jokes or allow yourself a session of the game. Not life, but Groundhog Day! As always, there are two options: you ask the system administrator to block access to entertainment sites on your computer, and you ruthlessly remove the game from the bowels of a smart machine. Yes, you will have to cut alive. The second way: once allow yourself to hang out on the World Wide Web for half a day or cut yourself into your favorite Zuma - right up to the pain in your eyes and disgust. “Overeating” the cherished product before, you will do anything with redoubled zeal, just not to see these multi-colored balls anymore and not to read jokes! True, after a while, a “re-infusion” of emotions will be required.

8. “After all, I deserve it!”

With mercantile young ladies, the following trick should work - to bribe yourself. Yes, just promise yourself your beloved a reward for quality work. That is, to buy that nice little butterfly brooch as a bonus for a well-written and timely business plan. The brooch, depending on the complexity of the assignment, changes to a cake, a gym membership and ... the list is not limited. In addition, those who depend on the output should turn the woodcutter's song from the old cartoon like a refrain in their heads: “The more I chop, the more I will take. The more I bring, the more I sell. The more I sell, the sweeter I sing…” and so on. There is only one meaning: the harder you work, the greater the return - and material in the first place.

WE ALL HAVE ACCUMULATED A LOT OF QUESTIONS TO OURSELVES AND THE WORLD, with which there seems to be no time or it is not worth going to a psychologist. But convincing answers are not born either when talking with yourself, or with friends, or with parents. Therefore, we asked professional psychotherapist Olga Miloradova to answer pressing questions once a week. By the way, if you have them, send them to .

How to tune in a positive way?

The festive mood and summing up the results of the year are interspersed with anxious expectation about what the coming year has in store for us. Someone is used to counting that with the change of numbers, all bad things remain in the past and life will begin with clean slate, someone, on the contrary, assumes that everything beautiful is left behind and now everything will only get worse, but the truth is that the only moment that is worth living in the present is not the past and not the future, but here and now, and the only reason that prevents us from honestly living our here and now is negative thinking that leads us to fears, anxiety and blues.

Olga Miloradova psychotherapist

Not all events in life depend on us, but the attitude to these events depends on us 100 percent. It is your choice whether to consider the day frosty and invigorating or chilly and nasty. It is we who give ourselves the installation, whether it happens in mall a cheerful pre-New Year's fuss or it is full of nasty fussy little people. This is what we attribute to a colleague at work with a mythical dislike for ourselves, instead of simply smiling at him once again. And yes, it is in our culture that there is a wonderful stereotype that these Americans (Europeans, Thais, etc.) smile at each other with insincere smiles, and we are gloomy, but honest. And moreover, it is our custom to raise children through negative reinforcement: instead of telling the child how strong and dexterous he is, once he climbed a tree, we say, my God, you will break, you will fall, don’t go there, it’s scary there, there’s an evil uncle steal, get hit by a car here, and Santa Claus is probably a pedophile.

And yet it is positive thinking gives us a number of excellent advantages (besides the obviously more Have a good mood): resistance to colds, less exposure to stress, better adaptive abilities, a natural ability to form strong relationships, and so on.

Think about what you would like to do right today and only for yourself

And if you are tired of the image of a thoughtful, but constantly suffering cynic, then the first thing you should do is take responsibility for the image and state in which you live this life. No one but you controls your thoughts. No one is forcing you to feel like you should. And even if you anxious person, prone to absorb other people's hardships and worries, it is again your choice of exactly which people you feed on, because you might as well prefer to absorb the emotions and confidence of positively minded people.

Make a plan for yourself on how to stop thinking negatively. Think of what you would like to do today and only for yourself. Finally decide that it is you who is in control of the situation, do not let other people and situations dictate to you what you should and should not do. Don't let other people ruin your plans. People can sometimes seem more concerned about something than they really are, thus dragging you into an unsettling quagmire that they themselves weren't too worried about. Get used to "recognizing" your negative thoughts, it's a good idea to start writing them down. Read what you have written at the end of the day and think of ways you could change one thought or another to the opposite. For example: I wait too long for a friend in a cafe and get annoyed. Instead, you can be glad that there is still ten minutes to read an article that interests you, call your mother, answer a letter.

In the future, if you keep records (which is better) or at least try to remember what unsettled you, most likely, over time you will notice a certain trend: what negative thoughts haunt you most often? What things are annoying? After communicating with whom do you tend to fall into the blues or panic? Why? When you can generalize, narrow down the problem, it will be easier for you to work with it, analyze it and, over time, eradicate or at least level it.

Find a hobby that calms you down or allows you to let off steam.

Over time, you will begin to identify your negative thoughts on the go. Make a game out of it. Keep track of their appearance and come up with a positive replacement for them. Avoid maximalism. Stop dividing things into black and white. Everything is ambiguous, each event has many shades. Try to find compromise solutions. Don't quit at all because you don't have time. It’s better to do a quality part and calmly finish it tomorrow than to panic, say that I don’t have time to do anything, do nothing and fail again tomorrow. Allow yourself to be a little more relaxed, perhaps this will reduce the degree of your responsibility, but save your nerves, and perhaps you will only do better.

Don't let people take it out on you, whether it's a boss, a friend, or a family member. One can simply say to some that you are not ready to continue the dialogue while it is taking place in this form, to others that such an attitude will affect your work. If you talk to people, and not rely on metaphysical understanding, they are quite capable of entering your situation and changing behavior.

Find a hobby that calms you down or allows you to let off steam. Take up boxing, walk more in the parks, start playing the flute - it's never too late for any hobby if you have long wanted it, the main thing is that it is pleasant and brings joy to you. Don't forget to take time for yourself. Do not sacrifice your passion for the sake of bringing the child into an extra circle or overfulfilling the plan. The child will grow up, but the boss will not appreciate. Love yourself and remember that nothing that happens is a disaster. One way or another, most problems can be solved.

First you need to find a quiet place. Hint for those who work in open space offices: this is not for you. workplace. The car will not work either - there are too many things around that will distract attention. Most likely, it will be more convenient in the lobby or on the balcony. You can arrive early so that no one interferes. You will also need a notepad or notepad (make sure you have a pen with you). And of course it will take hours. Otherwise, how can you keep track of time and be sure that you have kept within exactly seven minutes.

First Minute: Clear Your Mind

We are not going to delve into religious matters, arrange sermons or call everyone . But for every person on the planet who has to work, it is vital to follow this well-known truth. You need to clear your mind. Put aside your phone with a lot of inboxes or the iPad you can't let go of. For the next seven minutes, you won't need them. To clear your head of thoughts means to come to work, try to forget about household chores and take a breath.

Second minute: breathe a little

You can deal with stress and tension different ways. But in any case, deep breathing calms and helps to focus. Keeping track of your breath is useful throughout the working day. And at the beginning of the day, such a warm-up will help stop the flow of thoughts and direct it in the right direction. Just sit still and breathe.

Minutes Three to Six: Take Notes and Draw

I write in my notebook all day long: as soon as I wake up and have a cup of coffee and up to the moment when I have to go to bed. Including at meetings and conferences. But what you have to do now has nothing to do with taking notes or personal diary. As soon as you arrive at work, write down in your notebook the first five thoughts that come to mind. Draw them in the form or doodles. This is a way to prioritize, to decide what is important to you and what is secondary. Just do not get hung up on the design, it is better to focus on your thoughts.

Seventh Minute: Analyze

After you take a few notes, look at the time and make sure that you have recorded everything exactly one minute before the end. Now we can start the analysis. Review your notes a second time. Think about what you wrote and why. Pick just one item from your list in the last 30 seconds and focus on it. For example, if you made a quick note that you need to finish a report, focus on that task and think about exactly how you are going to solve it today.

That's all. Seven minutes. We advise you to follow this simple plan every day: it becomes much easier to tune in to work and get involved in things, as well as choosing the highest priority task. Try this technique for at least a week. And the results will pleasantly surprise you.

“A woman must find her own potential in her soul and develop it, and a wonderful future awaits her.” Osho

woman like musical instrument: if it is not played for a long time, it gets upset and starts to be out of tune. Why is this happening? How to set yourself up and attract a talented musician into your life?

The thing is that we often perceive ourselves through the world and through the evaluations of people in this world. We see ourselves through the eyes of other people. We often think of ourselves the way others think of us. That is why we get upset at words of condemnation and rejoice at approval.

When we believe other people's words about us, we evaluate ourselves through them. But their assessment of us is distorted own idea About Me. Thousands of women live their lives in an illusion about themselves. How often do we believe anyone about ourselves, but not ourselves.

It is worth looking deep into yourself, considering from the inside and then go further in the idea of yourself not from the outside to the inside, but from the inside to the outside. And the evaluations of others will no longer be so affected, because we know ourselves. And if someone's expressed opinion about us is at odds with this knowledge, we will simply let it pass by.

Often we see ourselves as a woman through the eyes of a man. Sometimes we blame men for not giving us compliments. We need it and are dissatisfied if we don't get it. So we become dependent on words of approval and admiration addressed to us.

And if there is no man in our life, we are lost and cannot understand what we are. After all, a woman, by definition, cannot live without love, this is her natural element. But any attempt to find love in the outside world can be futile if the heart is closed, if we do not know ourselves.

Because when we open our inner peace for ourselves, we simultaneously find a source of love, it is so powerful that it is enough for ourselves and for sharing with others. The source of love is within us.With the help of this source, it is easy to tune yourself in the right way. After all, the right tune for any woman is the melody of love. It just sounds different to each of us.

If we want to attract a talented musician into our lives, we need to sound like love. When we go from our internal source love, every step echoes the inaudible melody of love. And the more confident our steps, the louder we sound.

When we really know ourselves, the very fact of the temporary absence of a man in our lives no longer upsets us. We have enough love within ourselves for ourselves. Therefore, any musician who appears in our lives is seen as a great opportunity to sound louder together with love, and not as a straw for drowning in the seething stream of life.

The musician doesn't owe us anything. But he will give us all of himself if he really wants to sound with us. Therefore, when we complain about how wrong all men are and how hard it is to find a mate in this world, we are false. After all, it's not about men, but about our wrong attitude.

Do not wait for the musician to come and tune you, tune yourself, sound loudly with love, so that together with the musician you can enjoy the perfect music of love.