When a person communicates with himself. Self-talk is effective self-help

Some people talk to themselves quite often. For example, while trying to find a solution to a problem. Or to deal with today. And also to find a lost item in the apartment. As in “The Irony of Fate, or Enjoy Your Bath”: “Where did the glasses go? Boca-a-ala!”.

And if you are embarrassed to mutter something under your breath while working or walking, then scientists are in a hurry to support you: this is useful. Apparently, those who constantly talk to themselves for many years can boast of remarkable mental abilities.

Psychologist Gary Lupyan conducted a study in which he showed a certain set of objects to 20 volunteers. He asked me to remember each of them. The first group of 10 participants had to repeat aloud the names of the objects shown, for example "banana", "apple", "milk". Then all the subjects were taken to and asked to find the objects on the shelves.

The result of the experiment showed that those who repeated the names of items out loud during the search found the right products faster. The difference with the "silent" ranged from 50 to 100 milliseconds.

"I talk to myself all the time while I'm looking for necessary items in the supermarket or the refrigerator,” says Gary Loupian. Exactly personal experience became the reason for conducting a larger experiment. Another psychologist working with Lupyan was Daniel Swingley. Together, scientists came to the conclusion: talking to yourself is not only useful - it can make a person a genius. And that's why.

Stimulates memory

When you talk to yourself, your sensory memory storage is activated. This structure is responsible for storing a limited amount of information for a short period of time. When you speak out loud, you visualize the meaning of the word. Therefore, it is remembered better.

This effect was recorded during a scientific experiment. The researchers asked participants to learn a list of words. One group of volunteers did it quietly, to themselves, while the other recited the terms aloud. It was those who spoke each word who remembered the entire list better.

Keeps concentration

When you say a word out loud, you automatically call up the image in your memory and consciousness. This helps to maintain concentration and not be distracted from the task at hand. In the case of searching for an item in a supermarket, this works flawlessly.

Wilson Hul/Flickr.com

Of course, it will help if you know what the object you are looking for looks like. For example, say the word "banana" - and the brain recreates a picture of a bright yellow oblong object. But let's say if you say "cherimoya" without having any idea what your favorite fruit looks like, there will be little sense.

Clears the mind

Do you know this feeling when thoughts besiege from all sides? Very different: starting from “What am I doing with my life?” and ending with "Oh, some more dishes to wash." Talking to yourself will help you figure this out. Talk about what needs to be done right now. In this way, you seem to instruct yourself, prompting you to action.

Similarly, you can get rid of unnecessary emotions. Anger, joy and frustration are easy to overcome with the help of such self-programming. Also, before you make a decision, voice it. Hearing yourself as if from the outside, it will be easier for you to understand whether you are really doing right choice or else it sounds like the ravings of a madman.

It's no secret that many people have a habit of talking to themselves. Sometimes this happens in the form of an internal monologue, but it is not uncommon for a person to talk to himself out loud. Having noticed such inclinations behind you, you should not be afraid and suspect any mental deviations in yourself. Scholars who have studied this issue a large number of time, agreed that conversations with oneself in most cases are not a deviation from the norm and are even useful in many ways.

Positive sides

The undeniable benefit of such monologues lies in the fact that they greatly help a person to streamline his thoughts, coordinate actions, sort out the details existing problem. Talking to yourself brings undoubted benefits and emotional state person. The ability to express aloud, even in private, all the accumulated emotions, worries, anxiety, anger and other negativity contributes to significant relief. In addition, throwing out most negativity during a monologue with oneself, a person talking with other people can discuss this problem in a more balanced and calm way.

During a conversation with oneself, the work of the human brain improves, since the perception and processing of information accelerates, attention and observation increase, as a result of which a person comes to right decisions the tasks ahead of him. Moreover, the effectiveness, speed and fruitfulness of his activities are several times higher than the results of those people who do not tend to talk to themselves. As can be seen from the results of research by scientists, most people who talk to themselves are completely normal and even more successful in solving some problems.

When should you worry?

However, in some cases, such conversations, along with other symptoms, can still serve as an indicator of mental abnormalities. Determining this is easy enough. Most of us, talking to ourselves, conduct a kind of monologue, pondering a serious issue, splashing out negative emotions while looking for a solution to the problem. In case of deviation from the norm, a person does not just talk to himself, he seems to be talking to an invisible interlocutor, answering his questions, arguing, swearing. At the same time, active gestures and facial expressions are often present.

Such behavior may indicate the presence of such serious diseases as schizophrenia, split personality, and more. If, in addition to dialogues with an imaginary interlocutor, a person has hallucinations, inappropriate behavior, closedness, obsessions, emotional disorders, then a visit to the appropriate specialist should not be postponed.

We all have internal dialogues with ourselves, as in famous song: "Quietly with myself, quietly with myself I am talking." And such “conversations” do not surprise anyone from the surrounding people, because no one hears them. But sometimes you have to deal with someone who is very passionately talking to an invisible interlocutor out loud. It is obvious that such a person does not even understand that he is not just thinking about some serious issue, as we all do, “talking” to ourselves in our minds, but that he is conducting a dialogue, responding to words that, as it seems to him, come from from the outside. Why do people talk to themselves and why do they not notice that in fact they have no interlocutor?

Self-talk is a sign of psychosis

When a person talks to himself without expecting an answer, this may be an early symptom of schizophrenia. Of course, if he mumbles something under his breath for only a day or two, then this is not necessarily a sign of pathology. But if someone laughs for no reason, or if they talk out loud for quite a long period, and all this along with other behavioral abnormalities - such as hallucinations, social isolation, emotional disorders, strange behavior - then this person , without a doubt, needs urgent psychiatric consultation.

The most characteristic manifestation of psychosis is the presence of hallucinations. A hallucination is a false perception of reality in any of the five sensory modalities when external stimulus does not really exist, but people subject to hallucinations see, hear, or feel a non-existent object. Hallucinations may occur in the twilight state between sleep and awakening, in delirium, delirium tremens, or exhaustion; they can also be invoked under hypnosis. The most common hallucinations are visual.

Persistent hallucinations are characteristic of schizophrenia. In one form of this disorder, affected people believe they hear an accusatory commanding voice, to which they react in complete panic, complete obedience, or an attempt at self-defense or even suicide. Illusions are somewhat different from hallucinations - if hallucinations occur without any stimulus from the outside, then illusions are characterized by a false perception of the actual stimulus.

Schizophrenia is a severe mental illness characterized by a variety of symptoms. Among them are the loss of contact with reality, the strange behavior already mentioned above, disorganized thinking and speech, a decrease in emotional expressiveness and social isolation. Usually, not all, but only some of the symptoms occur in one patient, and each person may have an individual combination of these symptoms.

The term schizophrenia itself comes from Greek words"schizo" (which means "split") and "freno" ("mind, soul"), and it can be translated as "separation of the soul." However, contrary to a fairly common belief, schizophrenia cannot be attributed to a person with a split personality or multiple personality syndrome.

What is the difference between schizophrenia and split personality?

Often schizophrenia and multiple personality disorder are confused, and some people believe that they are one and the same. In fact, these are two completely different diseases. Schizophrenia is a disorder of the functioning of the brain; some people are already born with this disorder, because it can be inherited. But the symptoms of the disease usually do not develop for many years. In men, symptoms begin late in life. adolescence or at the age of twenty; women typically show symptoms between their twenties and thirties. It happens, of course, that the symptoms of schizophrenia appear in childhood, but this happens very rarely.

When a person suffers from schizophrenia, he experiences hallucinations and delusions, sees things that do not exist, talks to someone whom he sees quite clearly, believes in things that are in no way true. For example, he can see the demons who sit down with him at the table during dinner; or may quite sincerely believe that he is a son of God. People with these disorders also suffer from disordered thinking, decreased concentration, and trouble focusing. They also lose the ability to take the initiative and make and implement any plans. As a rule, such people cannot be socially adapted.

Often, a person with schizophrenia believes that the voices they hear are there to control or harm them. He probably gets very scared when he hears them. He can sit for hours without moving and talk, talk ... A sane person, watching a patient with schizophrenia, will not catch a single drop of meaning in his speech. Some people with this disorder seem quite normal; but this is only until they start talking, and most often talking to themselves. Schizophrenia is also marked by clumsy, uncoordinated movements and an inability to take care of oneself sufficiently.

The main difference between schizophrenia and multiple personality disorder is that the latter disorder is not congenital. it mental condition is caused by certain events that occur in a person's life, and they are usually associated with some psychological trauma received in childhood. This may be, for example, physical or sexual abuse. People with this condition seem to develop additional personalities as a way of coping with the traumatic event. To be diagnosed with a split personality, a person must have at least one alternate personality that significantly controls their behavior.

In just one patient, up to a hundred personalities can develop, but on average their number is ten. These may be "additional" personalities of the same sex, the other sex, or both sexes at the same time. Sometimes different personalities the same person is even taken by different physical characteristics, such as a specific mode of transportation or different level health and endurance. But depression and attempts at self-harm can become common to all facets of the personality of the same person.

There are several signs that are the same for both schizophrenia and multiple personality disorder. Patients with schizophrenia may have hallucinations; while people with multiple personalities do not always experience them, about a third of patients do experience hallucinations. A split personality can cause behavioral problems and difficulty concentrating while studying at a young age; this can be confusing to professionals, who sometimes confuse the disorder with schizophrenia, as it also develops and manifests most often during adolescence.

As you can see, if a person is talking aloud to an invisible interlocutor, this can be a sign of a very serious condition. Therefore, you must do everything possible so that the person close to you receives as soon as possible needed help Otherwise, he may cause irreparable harm to himself!

In psychology internal dialogue- this is one of the forms of thinking, the process of communication of a person with himself. It becomes the result of the interaction of different ego states: "child", "adult" and "parent". The inner voice often criticizes us, gives advice, appeals to common sense. But is he right? T&P asked several people from different fields what their inner voices sound like and asked a psychologist to comment on this.

Internal dialogue has nothing to do with schizophrenia. Everyone has voices in their heads: we ourselves (our personality, character, experience) are talking to ourselves, because our Self consists of several parts, and the psyche is very complex. Thinking and reflection are impossible without internal dialogue. Not always, however, it is framed as a conversation, and not always some of the remarks seem to be uttered by the voices of other people - as a rule, relatives. The “voice in the head” can also sound like one’s own, or it can “belong” to a completely stranger: a classic of literature, a favorite singer.

From the point of view of psychology, internal dialogue is a problem only if it develops so actively that it begins to interfere with a person in Everyday life: distracts him, knocks him out of his thoughts. But more often this silent conversation “with oneself” becomes material for analysis, a field for finding sore spots and a testing ground for developing a rare and valuable ability to understand and support oneself.

Novel

sociologist, marketer

It is difficult for me to single out any characteristics of the inner voice: shades, timbre, intonations. I understand that this is my voice, but I hear it in a completely different way, not like the rest: it is more booming, low, rough. Usually in the internal dialogue, I imagine the acting role model of a situation, hidden direct speech. For example, - what would I say to this or that public (despite the fact that the public can be very different: from casual passers-by to clients of my company). I need to convince them, to convey my idea to them. Usually I also play intonation, emotion and expression.

At the same time, there is no discussion as such: there is internal monologue with thoughts like: “What if?”. Does it happen that I myself call myself an idiot? It happens. But this is not a condemnation, but rather a cross between annoyance and a statement of fact.

If I need a third-party opinion, I change the prism: for example, I try to imagine what one of the classics of sociology would say. The sound of the voices of the classics is no different from mine: I remember exactly the logic and "optics". I distinguish clearly other people's voices only in a dream, and they are accurately modeled by real analogues.

Anastasia

prepress specialist

In my case, the inner voice sounds like my own. Basically, he says: “Nastya, stop it”, “Nastya, don’t be stupid” and “Nastya, you are a fool!”. This voice appears infrequently: when I feel uncollected, when own actions make me dissatisfied. The voice is not angry - rather irritated.

I have never heard in my thoughts either my mother's, or my grandmother's, or anyone else's voice: only my own. He can scold me, but within certain limits: without humiliation. This voice is more like my coach: pushing buttons that motivate me to take action.

Ivan

screenwriter

What I hear mentally is not framed as a voice, but I recognize this person by the train of thought: she looks like my mother. And even more precisely: it is an “internal editor” that explains how to make the mother like it. For me, as a hereditary filmmaker, this is an unflattering name, because in Soviet years for creative person(director, writer, playwright) the editor is a dull protege of the regime, a not very educated censor who revels in his own power. It's embarrassing to realize that similar type censors thoughts in you and clips the wings of creativity in all areas.

The “internal editor” gives many of his comments on the case. However, the question lies in the purpose of this "case". To summarize, he says: "Be like everyone else and don't stick your head out." He feeds the inner coward. “You need to be an excellent student,” because it eliminates problems. Everyone likes it. He makes it difficult to understand what I myself want, whispers that comfort is good, and the rest later. This editor doesn't really let me be an adult in good sense this word. Not in the sense of dullness and lack of space for the game, but in the sense of the maturity of the individual.

I hear my inner voice mostly in situations that remind me of my childhood, or when a direct expression of creativity and fantasy is needed. Sometimes I succumb to the "editor" and sometimes I don't. The most important thing is to recognize his intervention in time. Because he disguises himself well, hiding behind pseudo-logical conclusions that do not really make sense. If I recognized him, then I try to understand what the problem is, what I myself want and where the truth really is. When this voice, for example, interferes with my creativity, I try to stop and go into the space of "complete emptiness", starting all over again. The difficulty lies in the fact that the "editor" can be difficult to distinguish from a simple common sense. To do this, you need to listen to intuition, move away from the meaning of words and concepts. Often this helps.

Irina

interpreter

My internal dialogue is designed as the voices of my grandmother and Masha's friend. These are people whom I considered close and important: I lived with my grandmother as a child, and Masha was there at a difficult time for me. Grandma's voice says that I have crooked hands and that I'm clumsy. And Masha's voice repeats different things: that I again got in touch with the wrong people, I lead the wrong lifestyle and do the wrong things. They both always judge me. At the same time, voices appear at different moments: when something doesn’t work out for me, my grandmother “says”, and when everything works out for me and I feel good, Masha.

I react aggressively to the appearance of these voices: I try to silence them, mentally argue with them. I tell them in response that I know better what and how to do with my life. More often than not, I can argue with my inner voice. But if not, I feel guilty, and I feel bad.

Kira

prose editor

Mentally, I sometimes hear the voice of my mother, who condemns me and devalues ​​my achievements, doubts me. This voice is always dissatisfied with me and says: “What are you doing! Are you out of your mind? Do better profitable business: you have to earn. Or: "You must live like everyone else." Or: "You will not succeed: you are nobody." It appears if I have to take a bold step or take a risk. In such situations, the inner voice, as it were, tries to manipulate me (“mom is upset”) to persuade me to the safest and most unremarkable course of action. To make him happy, I have to be inconspicuous, diligent, and everyone likes me.

I also hear my own voice: he calls me not by my name, but by a nickname that my friends came up with. He usually sounds a bit annoyed but friendly and says, “So. Stop”, “Well, what are you, baby” or “Everything, come on.” It encourages me to focus or take action.

Ilya Shabshin

psychologist-consultant, leading specialist of the "Psychological Center on Volkhonka"

This whole compilation speaks to what psychologists are well aware of: most of us have a very strong inner critic. We communicate with ourselves mainly in the language of negativity and rude words, using the whip method, and we have practically no self-support skills.

In Roman's commentary, I liked the technique, which I would even call psychotechnics: "If I need a third-party opinion, I try to imagine what one of the classics of sociology would say." This technique can be used by people of different professions. In Eastern practices, there is even the concept of an "inner teacher" - a deep wise inner knowledge that you can turn to when it's hard for you. A professional usually has one or another school or authoritative figures behind him. Imagine one of them and ask what he would say or do is a productive approach.

Visual illustration for common theme- this is Anastasia's comment. A voice that sounds like your own and says: “Nastya, you are a fool! Don't be dumb. Stop,” is, of course, according to Eric Berne, the Critical Parent. It is especially bad that the voice appears when she feels "uncollected", if her own actions cause dissatisfaction - that is, when, in theory, the person just needs to be supported. And instead, the voice tramples into the ground ... And although Anastasia writes that he acts without humiliation, this is a small consolation. Maybe, as a “coach”, he presses the wrong buttons, and it’s not worth kicking, not reproaching, not insulting him to encourage himself to action? But, I repeat, such interaction with oneself is, unfortunately, typical.

You can encourage yourself to act by first removing fears by saying to yourself: “Nastya, everything is in order. It's okay, we'll figure it out." Or: "Here, look: it turned out well." "Yes, well done, you can do it!". “Do you remember how well you did everything then?” This method is suitable for any person who tends to criticize himself.

The last paragraph in Ivan's text is important: it describes a psychological algorithm for dealing with an internal critic. Point one: "Recognize interference." Such a problem often arises: something negative is disguised, hiding behind useful statements, penetrates a person’s soul and establishes its own rules there. Then the analyst turns on, trying to understand what the problem is. According to Eric Berne, this is the adult part of the psyche, the rational one. Ivan even has his own tricks: “go out into the space of complete emptiness”, “listen to intuition”, “depart from the meaning of words and understand everything”. Great, that's what you need! Based general rules and common understanding about what is happening, you need to find your own approach to what is happening. As a psychologist, I applaud Ivan: he has learned to talk to himself well. Well, what he fights is a classic: the internal editor is still the same critic.

“At school we are taught to extract square roots and conduct chemical reactions, but they don’t teach you to communicate normally with yourself anywhere”

Ivan has another interesting observation: "You need to keep a low profile and be an excellent student." Kira does the same. Her inner voice also says that she should be invisible and everyone should like her. But this voice introduces its own, alternative logic, because you can either be the best, or keep a low profile. However, such statements are not taken from reality: these are all internal programs, psychological attitudes from various sources.

The “keep your head down” attitude (like most others) is taken from upbringing: in childhood and adolescence, a person draws conclusions about how to live, gives himself instructions based on what he hears from parents, educators, and teachers.

In this regard, the example of Irina looks sad. close and important people- grandmother and friend - they tell her: "You have crooked hands, and you are clumsy", "you live wrong." Arises vicious circle: her grandmother condemns her when something does not work out, and her friend - when everything is fine. Total criticism! Neither when it is good, nor when it is bad, there is no support and consolation. Always a minus, always a negative: either you are clumsy, or something else is wrong with you.

But Irina is good, she behaves like a fighter: she silences the voices or argues with them. This is how it should be done: the power of the critic, whoever he may be, must be weakened. Irina says that most often she gets votes over an argument - this phrase suggests that the opponent is strong. And in this regard, I would suggest that she try other ways: firstly (since she hears it as a voice), imagine that it comes from the radio, and she turns the volume knob to the minimum, so that the voice fades, it gets worse heard. Then, perhaps, his power will weaken, and it will become easier to outguess him - or even just brush him off. After all, such internal struggle creates quite a lot of tension. Moreover, Irina writes at the end that she feels guilty if she cannot argue.

Negative beliefs penetrate deep into our psyche for early stages its development is especially easy - in childhood, when they come from big authoritative figures with whom, in fact, it is impossible to argue. The child is small, and around him are huge, important, strong masters of this world - adults on whom his life depends. You can't really argue here.

In adolescence, we also decide challenging tasks: I want to show myself and others that you are already an adult, and not a little one, although in fact, in the depths of your soul, you understand that this is not entirely true. Many teenagers become vulnerable, although outwardly they look prickly. At this time, statements about yourself, about your appearance, about who you are and what you are, sink into the soul and later become dissatisfied. inner voices who scold and criticize. We talk to ourselves so badly, so nastily, in a way that we would never talk to other people. You would never say anything like that to a friend - and in your head your voices towards you easily allow themselves this.

To correct them, first of all, you need to realize: “What sounds in my head is not always sensible thoughts. There may be opinions and judgments, simply assimilated once. They do not help me, it is not useful to me, and their advice does not lead to anything good. You need to learn to recognize them and deal with them: to refute, muffle or otherwise remove the inner critic from yourself, replacing it with an inner friend who provides support, especially when it’s bad or difficult.

At school, we are taught to extract square roots and carry out chemical reactions, but they don’t teach us to communicate normally with ourselves anywhere. And you need to cultivate healthy self-support instead of self-criticism. Of course, you do not need to draw a halo of holiness around your own head. It is necessary, when it is difficult, to be able to cheer yourself up, support, praise, remind yourself of successes, achievements and strengths. Do not humiliate yourself as a person. Say to yourself: “In a particular area, at a particular moment, I can make a mistake. But it has nothing to do with my human dignity. My dignity, my positive attitude towards myself as a person is an unshakable foundation. And mistakes are normal and even good: I will learn from them, I will develop and move on.

Icons: Justin Alexander from the Noun Project