External locus of control is one of the key concepts in modern psychology. It can be used to determine the degree human activity, autonomy and independence, and it is also considered one of the main personality traits. There are different types of the term we are considering:

• Internal locus of control.
• External.

If we talk about the first type, then it represents the ability of a person to be responsible for the events in his life and to believe that the results of an individual's activity depend precisely on himself, and not on external circumstances.

Internal and external locus of control are quite different. The second type is characteristic of those people who tend to place responsibility for everything that happens around not on themselves, but on the people around them or any circumstances.

To some extent, this is reminiscent of fatalism. Based on the above typology, a person with external locus control is called external, and with internal - internal.

Research

Psychologists have conducted a variety of studies over the years in studying what a locus of control is. As a result, they received very "speaking" data.

For example, externals to almost everything unseen circumstances react with alertness or even fear. At the same time, people who believe that life depends only on oneself react to the same difficult circumstances with ease, and sometimes with humor.

At the same time, when planning their lives, externals often cling to memories from the past, while internals, on the contrary, think about the future. However, people who have an external locus of control rarely plan anything at all, because they believe that life will definitely make its own adjustments to any plans. Therefore, in their opinion, there is no point in wasting time thinking about the future, because it will only be as it should be.

These people are different low level responsibility, self-doubt, anxiety, and sometimes. They also have such features as a tendency to depression, inability to defend their position and lack of life principles.

A person with an external locus is often, i.e. he is subject to the opinion of others. Psychologists, after conducting a study, found that people with an internal LC in important decisions rely on own feelings, and with the external - on the opinion of others.

An internal locus of control allows individuals to be held accountable for own solutions, and as a result, they are more motivated to achieve good results. This once again confirms for them that it is the person who is the center own life and not the circumstances around it. But such people also have several very significant shortcomings: excessive self-confidence or, for example, the desire to always and absolutely in all situations defend their rights.

One of the most famous studies was conducted in the 60s of the last century by the scientist Rotter. It later became known as Rotter's locus of control. The experiment was to examine the personalities of college students who were civil rights activists. It turned out that the vast majority of students have an internal locus of control.

Another study of the scientist was that on the packs of cigarettes there were inscriptions stating the dangers of smoking, then cigarettes were distributed to people with different locus of control. In this case, the internals, for the most part, wanted to quit smoking, while the externals did not pay any attention to the inscriptions, because they were sure that what was going to happen was inevitable. In general, in terms of health, representatives of the external locus of control are in no hurry to get treated or go to the doctors, while people with an internal locus tend to take care of themselves and lead healthy lifestyle life.

Main characteristics

The internal locus of control of a personality usually indicates that its owner has many positive traits. Among them are attentiveness to information, resistance to psychological pressure, the desire for self-improvement, adequate self-esteem, etc.

But there are also qualities that greatly hinder the process of personality development. For example, such people may set unrealistic goals for themselves or try to change something that cannot be changed. By the way, the methodology of many studies has shown that in countries with developed economies, people's internal locus of control is more developed than in those where the economy is at a low level of development.

Types of people and locus of control are very closely related, and this is not only a matter of the typology of the individual or the country as a whole, but also, for example, in the family. Parents who strive to teach their child to be responsible and accept independent solutions, most likely, they will bring up in him a personality with an internal locus of control, and vice versa - the more you inspire a child with faith in fate, the more inconsistent he will grow.

By the way, in modern psychology there is a technique, and not even one, that helps to acquire an internal locus of control, and at the same time develop as a person and finally learn to be responsible for one's actions.

findings

So, we can conclude that the internal locus of control (LC) is much better and more useful for a person than the external one, since it acts as a certain lever of personality development. People with an inner LC are persistent and consistent in achieving goals, because they have self-confidence.

In contrast, externals are mostly insecure, unbalanced and suspicious. This can eventually lead to depression, psychopathy, or even manic depression.

It often happens that internals become successful people. Firstly, they are more frank and trust others, in connection with which they themselves inspire confidence. Secondly, they always clearly follow the set goals and are ready to defend their own interests and principles.

Well, and one more thing - it is worth noting that there is no locus of control in pure form. Each person has both a share of dependence on external factors, and a share of confidence in own forces. Author: Elena Ragozina

The concept of "locus of control" has become so everyday life that its meaning is substantially blurred and lost. The locus of control in ordinary consciousness is confused with such concepts as responsibility, and, although in reality these are somewhat intersecting, but different phenomena. Let's try to remember and understand what a locus of control is and what are the areas of application of this concept in psychology.

"Locus of control" in the concept of J. Rotter

The theory of J. Rotter is a theory of social learning, which can be attributed to the cognitive-behavioral direction in psychology. Thus, the locus of control is a characteristic of the human cognitive sphere, in other words, a certain feature of human perception and thinking.

According to J. Rotter, locus of control is a generalized (generalized) expectation of the extent to which a person controls reinforcements in his life. Rotter introduced the concept of "locus of control" into his concept of social learning in order to predict human behavior in a given situation. At the same time, the locus of control is just one of the types of “generalized expectations” of people.

External locus of control and internal locus of control

External and internal locus of control Thus, some people expect (believe, think, believe) that they themselves control the reinforcers in their lives. In other words, they are sure that whether they will receive a reward or punishment for their actions depends only on themselves. Such people show an internal position and can conditionally be called internals.

Other people expect (believe) that no matter how hard they try, getting reinforcements is not up to them. Whether they will be punished or encouraged depends on all sorts of external factors, from the weather to the opinion and will of other people. Such people can be called externalities.

Thus, knowing what kind of expectation (internal or external) this or that person has in this or that situation, we can predict his behavior. From the internal we expect greater stability, purposefulness and independence in a particular situation, and from the external - greater social conformity, the desire to make contact and seek mutual language with other people.

Scale of externality-internality

It is important to remember that there is no external and internal personality type! Externality-internality is a single scale with two poles. Externality and internality are not a type of personality, they are a characteristic of a person's perception and thinking.

One and the same person in one situation may be inclined to the internal pole of the scale and believe that here everything depends only on him; and in another situation he will tend to the external pole, believing that there are a number of situations over which he is not free. And that's okay, that's the way it should be.

Final comments on "locus of control"

What do we have in the dry residue?

1. Locus of control is far from being a universal characteristic that can be "attached" and to which any reality can be "explained". On the contrary, this characteristic is rather narrow, its scope is significantly limited.
2. The concept of "locus of control" is necessary in order to predict a person's behavior in a particular situation: depending on how free (internal) he considers himself in a given situation, this is how he will behave.
3. "Locus of control" is a characteristic of human cognitive processes: perception and thinking.
4. There are no external and internal personality types. The same person in one situation will show an external position, in another - an internal one. And it is right.

Do you think a person is in complete control of the course of his life? Most people answer this question in the affirmative, citing their plans for life, aspirations and goals as evidence. However, in the case of various life difficulties, it is difficult for a person to admit his failures. An example is next question: "in order to occupy a certain social status Is it necessary to work hard or wait for favorable circumstances? Or: "during a family quarrel, who initiates the conflict - your environment or you?". Conventionally, people are divided into two types: the first, in the case of failures, they look for their cause in external influence various factors, the second - prefer to take responsibility for their own destiny. In order to give a correct answer to the questions above, one should carefully study the phenomenon of locus of control.

Locus of control is a generalized subjective expectation of the extent to which a person is able to control events occurring to him.

Locus of control in psychology is a phenomenon that divides all representatives of humanity into two conditional groups s. Representatives of the first group blame various external factors for their troubles. Think about how often you hear from people about inadequate bosses, a negative set of circumstances, bad luck and others. negative impacts from the side external environment. People belonging to the second category are in the firm belief that external stimuli do not significantly affect their lives. In various difficulties, they prefer to blame only themselves. It is important to note that such people do not take into account that their difficulties can be caused by selfish, greedy and other negative actions of the people around them.

As mentioned earlier, the representatives of the first group are in the firm belief that their life goals are of little importance. In their opinion, everything is determined by fate, so you should not "jump out of your pants" and try to achieve the impossible. Representatives of the second category of people believe that perseverance and effort will allow them to achieve their goals no matter what. This division is referred to as the phenomenon of locus of control.

Theory

For the first time this phenomenon was consecrated in his scientific papers psychotherapist from America, Dr. J. Rotter. This scientist in his works says that human behavior is based on two polar aspects. One of them is chosen as the main one, after which the individual begins to adhere to the given setting. Locus of control is divided into two types:

1. External type- which is the outer pole. This model of behavior involves shifting the blame for various life difficulties onto a fateful set of circumstances.
2. Internal type- which is the inner pole. This behavioral model is characterized as complete control over all actions that can determine the course of life.

It is important to note that locus of control has an important impact on the course human life.

People belonging to different groups differ in their choice life position and productivity of their work. The Rotter locus of control test, developed by the author of this phenomenon, allows you to determine belonging to specific group. Let's take a look at each of them in more detail.

People with an external (external) locus of control are convinced that what happens to them depends on their own activity.

External group

People belonging to this group are firmly convinced that their efforts and efforts will not be able to change their habitual way of life. In their opinion, forecasting and planning will not be successful, so they can be postponed to the near future.

Individuals in the external group expect various gifts from life that can change their lives. Most of these individuals are characterized by such qualities as low self-esteem, causeless fear and anxiety. Unwillingness to take responsibility is accompanied by an inability to defend one's own interests. Experts note that this category of people is characterized by impulsiveness, unreasonable aggression and a tendency to depressive disorder. They often give in to excitement and take risky actions without thinking about the possible consequences.

The external locus of control is the desire for conformity. This fact is based on the conducted experiments and studies that touch upon the subject of the phenomenon under consideration. At the heart of such studies is the Rotter test. Based on belonging to one of the categories, the experts formed a focus group. This group included people with overestimated indicators of belonging to the locus of control of both species.

The purpose of this experiment is to identify individuals who are able to resist public opinion and people who agree with it. Each test participant was given a certain financial amount, which was to be used as a bet on personal opinion or the opinion of others. As a result of the experiment, participants belonging to the internal group made bets taking into account own opinion despite the presence of confrontation with others. Individuals belonging to the external locus bet on public opinion without doubting its veracity and correctness.

Internal type

Internal locus of control refers to the responsibility for decisions taken and actions taken. According to experts, taking responsibility increases the strength of incentives and the desire to achieve goals. Based on this, we can say that the internal locus of control is closely related to emotional stability. A person adhering to this manner of behavior is ready to “sacrifice” personal comfort in order to achieve the goal. The life motto of such people is that only work can help to achieve success.

This type of locus of control allows the individual to defend their own worldview and interests in various situations ranging from family relations and ending with politics. In order to more clearly familiarize ourselves with this pole, let's look at another scientific study.

Students of one of the American colleges. The focus group included activists various groups that are fighting for the rights of the people. The result of this experiment was quite predictable, since most of the subjects belonged to the internal group. The focus group was provided with information about how cigarettes adversely affect internal organs and systems human body. The internals, having familiarized themselves with this information, made attempts to get rid of addiction.

The externals took no action, counting on magic pills that could solve all the problems that arose. None of the focus group members with this pattern of behavior took a single decisive step to resist fate.

People with an internal (internal) locus of control believe that it is they who, by their behavior, create reinforcements for themselves and control everything that happens to them.

Based on the above information, we can say that the internal locus has a much more beneficial effect on human life. It is this pole that increases labor productivity, brings a person pleasure from the actions performed, and also contributes to the development of resistance to external influence. However, with the excessive severity of this pole, there are Negative consequences. Each individual should be given only realistic incentives that can be achieved through targeted actions. Desire to change circumstances beyond your control external influence, can provoke a state of frustration and the development of a depressive syndrome.

An objective assessment of one's own capabilities is closely interconnected with the state of society. That is why overseas researchers pay so much attention to the locus of control. close attention. Many foreign countries are distinguished by stability in the sphere of law and economy. This leads to the fact that the vast majority of the inhabitants of such countries commit various activities based on the internal state. From this we can conclude that the internal pole is not typical for residents of countries with unfavorable social conditions. This can be explained by the fact that in such countries the actions specific person rarely depend global events. The main influence on human life is exerted by external forces.

It is important to note that the methodology used to determine membership in one of the conditional groups has several interesting nuances. According to its author, the locus of control is an unstable value and can change throughout a person's life. A change in outlook on life can be facilitated by changes in the political or economic sphere. Family values ​​also play an important role in this matter.

The educational process involves learning independence and taking responsibility for all decisions made and actions taken. Methods and rigor of education are decisive factors in the choice of locus of control.

The topic of locus of control, internal and external, is one of the main topics in the posts of Evolution (by Marina Komissarova).

This is truly a life changing topic. This is the KEY. Very effective, magic key. I have already checked and continue further)

This key can not only change everything and make you happy man but also change the lives of others around you. But for this you need to change yourself, in no case change others (more on that below).

In my articles, I convey my experience and my current understanding of everything. But I always give all the references to the original source, from where I learned about this topic and began to apply it.

My texts can interest and give brief understanding, but all the details, of course, need to be read (here is a link to her LiveJournal and book). Somewhere I may be wrong or focus on the wrong thing, I admit that I can somewhere confuse the cause with the effect, while I just understand everything, and this path is long.

It is from the external locus that all the troubles are growing - imbalance and love addiction in relationships, gestalts for any reason, family relations worsen, women do not allow fathers to see children, people try to change each other, partnerships deteriorate, little money, problems at work, internal dissatisfaction with your life internal monologues, resentment, condemnation, a snowball of claims, long-term destructive relationships, unhealthy rescues and much more.

Now it's time to change, and you and I have a theory from Evolution to close the blind spots, and there are all opportunities for change.

The term locus of control can be explained as "RELY ON".

Self-reliance is an internal locus (as it should be).

If we try to rely on anything else that is not in our power - another person, our past, our appearance, parents, state, weather, universe, school - then a lot of problems await us. This is an external locus of control.

Yes, perhaps everything will go well - the person will do what we wanted, the appearance is in order and there are no complaints about it, the state will pay subsidies in the desired amount, parents help - but it will always be one-time, sometimes.

And the habit of relying on something outside, besides yourself, will intensify.

And often other people will be very unhappy about the fact that we want something from them again and again, about our stickiness and aggression (which we do not perceive as such), and their aggression will be in response.

From the external locus, hunger grows, which pushes, for example, to cling to the first comer, and then suffer in these relationships. Or hunger makes you put pressure on a client or partner when he is not yet ready to pay you what is due to you - and this can completely ruin your relationship with him.

I mentioned the locus in some blog posts (also after the knowledge gained from Evolution):

There are my thoughts, my experience, and references to articles and quotes from Evolution.

An external locus of control greatly damages relationships.

It greatly spoils the mood, the general background of life, its perception, the degree of satisfaction, spontaneity and happiness.

It harms you in the first place, and not someone else.

At the same time, it is rather difficult to understand the term locus as “reliance on”, because it seems that the husband is obliged to support his wife, is obliged to love her, is obliged to take care of children, the father is obliged to take part in their life, life must be kind (after all, she is kind to many others), the state must take care of its citizens and protect them, people are obliged to do their work efficiently.

It seems to be what kind of support is this, if it's just your usual rights and obligations of others towards you?!

It seems to be.

But in essence, this is an ATTEMPT to rely on something that does not belong to us, over which we have no power, control. And it is absolutely ineffective and does a lot of harm.

We can want, dream to change someone and his attitude towards us, but we cannot guarantee to knock it out of him and somehow in such a way that his attitude does not deteriorate.

In our power, in the zone of our control - only ourselves.

And if you ALWAYS rely on yourself in the sense that you always think “What can I do right now to make me feel better in this current situation?” - in absolutely any situation, even where you desperately want another person or circumstances to change, so that a man loves more, and a partner pays off a debt, so that people behave well and be kinder, so that mom loves - this always works for us, for our benefit.

Such an attitude towards other people and events will never trip us up, but on the contrary, it will always pull us out of any difficult and unpleasant situations.

How it works:

We stop draining ourselves, our time, our energy, our potential useful and good deeds where we can’t do anything, we don’t sign the status of a victim and helplessness, we don’t multiply negativity in our heads and in life, judging and offending, we don’t break relationships We don't declare war, we don't sit around crying and we don't feel the most lonely and miserable.

Having realized this whole topic with an internal locus and introducing these principles into a habit, we open up to the world, to different possibilities, we become a much more pleasant person to communicate with.

We become lighter and more charming.

We begin to think of a list of actions to improve our lives, and actually do it, and not hang around for years in an unsatisfactory situation. Up to the point of getting out of a relationship, and not getting crumbs and walking forever dissatisfied.

Want to discuss the jambs of a colleague?

Do you want to blame your mother for a difficult childhood, when she didn’t come home on time for her birthday, gave her to the wrong circle, or was she never worried about your inner world?

Do you want to tell your husband how to love your wife, and how do normal men do it? Do you want to beat the love and respect for yourself out of him?

Want to talk about hatred for your country on Facebook?

Do you want to know that the weather is so bad and ruined all your plans?

Want to judge fat or toxic people?

Do you flare up like a match from injustice?

Everyone is indignant inside at the thought that the father does not want to see the child, and do you want to discuss it with someone or do something about it?

Is born internal dialogue and want to tell a person how to live right? Do you want to push him so that he accepts your point of view and listens to advice?

Can't finish a dialogue in your head that has already ended in reality?

It's all an external locus of control, even if it seems that it is objective, as it should be right and good.

But in fact, this is all from the desire to comb the world in accordance with your expectations, from the desire to rely on the ideal picture of the world for your “I want”, from egocentrism, from the feeling that the world revolves around you, you are always worthy of good treatment, and, with desire, you can get everything you need from the world and other people.

And when it doesn’t work out, when the other person doesn’t want you to rely on him and doesn’t want to give you what you want from him, when the world doesn’t give you what you want from him, psychoprotections (crowns) appear - then, what helps you to stand in your head OVER this situation, higher, and at the same time do not change anything, leave everything as it is - “I am higher, I am stronger, I am smarter, I am better, this is him - some is not like that.”

Yes, it seems that the state should protect us, and the chosen chosen one should love all his life, and parents should love and educate well, and people should be adequate and understand some common truths, friends should not betray.

And in fact - everything is as it is. And either whine and suffer, or do it in such a way as to feel good in these any conditions. Get on with YOUR life.

It is VERY pleasant to communicate with a person with an internal locus of control. Not so long ago I thought about my surroundings, and it became very clear that my most beloved friends and girlfriends, as well as partners to whom I have no questions, but only the joy of communication, are those who have an internal locus of control.

It’s also nice to communicate with such a person because you intuitively feel that he doesn’t need anything from you, he won’t cling to you when he sees that you can give him something that he really wants - money, relationships, connections, nourishment his self-esteem, something else.

A consequence of a trained internal locus of control is also the habit of switching very quickly in everything, in any life situations.

Not only in some serious moments, but also in everyday things.

Dropped a cup, broke? Do not scold the dog that turned up, the boss, because of which you flew away with your thoughts, the situation in the 5-second past that has already happened and you cannot change it.

Quickly calmly address what you can do to fix this situation - wipe everything down and decide where and when you will buy a new cup even better (or decide that you will not buy cups and so full). And then move on to other important things.

The internal locus of control is self-reliance in everything. Emphasis on what you can do for yourself right now to make you feel better. Not on other people, not on their bad deeds, not on their qualities, not on a simple situation, not on the weather, not on circumstances that interfere, not on a past that cannot be corrected, not on your not the most beautiful appearance, not for lack of money. Only on what is in the zone of your control, your capabilities.

What you can do for YOURSELF right now.

And this is the ability to lag behind other people and get thoughts about their lives and their actions out of their heads.

How not to be offended by the actions of other people?

I wrote in more detail in the article “How to stop being offended” - after reading Evolution, for 2 years now I have not felt resentment towards other people inside me.

And the following helped:

– training for editing the external locus to the internal
- awareness of the three main crowns - the Treasure, the Savior and the Winner
– understanding of topics about merging and dividing borders
- the theme of modesty, the mantra "I am ordinary."

Why do we cling to the resentment and condemnation of other people? Why can't we stop doing this? Why do we get angry, offended, and tormented again and again that someone does not behave the way we would like? We work through it all for months or years and again suffer.

Yes, this is precisely the external locus of control and the merging of borders. As well as all the psychoprotections that make us stand higher OVER another person instead of an equal and equal attitude - respect for a person and any of his will. And they don't let go. After all, if we are higher, and he is wrong, we need to somehow convey this to him and put the squeeze on him, and wait until he acts in accordance with our expectations (and hangs in a gestalt for a long time).

Moreover, our situation can be much worse, we can be weaker than the other, but the psychoprotection is twisted so that we stand above him in our head and can tell him something and decide his fate in our own head.

How can you let go if next to you is this weak one, who does not understand how to live, or how you should be loved and treated, or how you should be friends, and at the same time you are so smart and strong and above him, and you know perfectly well how can you teach? No, it is impossible to pass by until you teach.

Or at least from time to time you need to give him a hint that you know something, you are higher. Or at least make a post on Facebook. But at the same time, you yourself will remain energetically and emotionally hooked to this situation. Not single. She will pull you back a little with any new communication and dissonance. Freedom is when you get off and busy with your life.

The psychological defenses that are formed to protect the external locus of control - this is getting up OVER and lack of respect - this is one of the bottlenecks to quickly remove the habit of being offended, judging, suffering from someone else's behavior and trying to save.

And if you respect another person with any of his will, any of his actions, any attitude towards you and treat you as a completely individual person If you treat yourself as an ordinary person with whom any story can happen, and not everything is in your power, then there simply is no place for resentment, condemnation, or the need for forgiveness.

You just received information that someone thinks differently than you and does not plan to change, that you are of little importance to him, that he does not plan to listen to your admonitions and unsolicited advice, that in principle everything suits him, and if If he doesn't like it, he'll take care of his own life.

And that's it. And left right away.

Or you think what to do with the situation so that everything is fine with you, regardless of the actions and attitudes of the other person.

Evolution has a great theme - "no need to forgive, you need to undo".

Psychoprotection complex (“crown” in terms of Evolution) Rescuer - consider the other flawed, and yourself stronger and higher. To see the need to save anyone who, by your standards, is weak or lost.

Even (!) Without his request.

Treasure Crown - consider yourself special, the smartest, the center of the world, your opinion is definitely very valuable, important for any person. And, in particular, to convey it, and to impose their society, even if they do not want it. To consider that it is all useful and interesting to another.

The Crown of the Winner is to have the feeling that sooner or later everything will happen the way you want. To feel the need one way or another, sooner or later, but push a person to do what you think is best. Constantly writing or speaking on the same topic, slipping materials, hinting, swearing, not feeling the limits of one's possible influence on a person and a situation and one's inadequacy in persecuting another.

Articles and quotes Evolution

In fact, almost every article she has is about locus of control. And there are several hundred, or even a thousand, parsed letters, where the external locus of control is also usually at the head of all problems.

Quotes from articles listed above:

“Locus of control is our main pillar. This is what we feel as "ours", as "property", what we can count on, what we can use.

Our personal boundaries clearly separate the territory of our locus of control from the territories of others.

This, within our personal boundaries, is ours, we can dispose of it and steer. Everything that is outside our borders is someone else's, we cannot encroach on it until it has become ours.

Our alien can become in the case of an exchange agreement (earnings include any transactions) or in the case of a spontaneous gift. Spontaneous means not under the pressure of the perfect, not forced, not drawn out, but free, voluntary, natural.

Here simple circuit, which describes the action of the locus. People with a good locus of control are well socialized, that is, well adapted to society, so in any relationship they are fine. They see so clearly where their borders end that they do not have spontaneous conflicts at all, conscious and controlled, sometimes yes, if it is beneficial to them. It is pleasant to interact with such people, so everyone opens their borders to them. Because of this, many sympathize with them (especially those whom they themselves sympathize with). And sympathy for such people does not meet any thresholds, therefore it grows to affection and love, if they need it.

“That is, in order to learn to sympathize with people and even love them without tongs, one must learn to separate the locus of control and the focus of attention.

Interest in someone has appeared, your focus has shifted to this person. Your locus of control must remain in place, at the center of you, within your boundaries. Never go beyond them.

Having mastered this practice, you will not only notice your tongs, you will stop picking them up at all. Maybe you will even begin to disdain to touch them.

The fisherman is easy to identify by his disgust for tongs. Or even not disgust, but slight bewilderment: why else? To his tongs, of course, and not someone else's. Fishermen treat other people's tongs calmly or even with curiosity. How elephants relate to Pugs, so about. Either they don’t notice, or they notice and smile, oh, Pug, what a fine fellow. And sometimes they use someone else's tongs for their own purposes.

“I promised to give exercises on the separation of locus and focus, I remember this. .

But the most basic regular exercise is to fix when you start wanting something that is not yet yours, and clarify for yourself that yes, you would like to bring it closer, but you cannot take it. And after you have said to yourself “this is not mine”, do not remove the focus from this, but continue to admire without demanding desire. Desire tends to grow with attention, turn into need, and shift your locus. And admiring has no such property, your locus remains inside. When admiring, you feed on impressions, motivate yourself and inspire your deeds, but do not plan to capture.

Admiring - this is a rare skill and creates a counter flow, causes attraction to you. Have you tried something similar?

"I promised to tell you how from editing the locus of control, the SZ increases rapidly (subjective significance).

At the same time, I’ll tell you why the SZ falls from the displacement of the locus of control.

I remind you that SZ is a subjective significance: your value and importance in the eyes of a particular person.

High SZ is love. There is a high SZ with unequal OZ, this is when there is a misalliance, but love.

All problems in the sphere of relations are when the SZ of one is high and the other is low (not mutual love), or when children and life are common, and the SZ of both is low (default), or when a person is stuck in a gestalt (someone's high SZ) and can no longer look at anyone else, or when a draw SZ is not high for him (frustration resource of love). That is, all problems personal life associated with SZ.

Ideally, when your SZ is high for someone whose SZ is high for you.

To be honest, this is not only ideal, but also quite normal and achievable, no matter what anyone says.

This is just as normal and achievable as working at a job you love. Not everyone has it, but no one thinks it's a miracle. So is mutual love with a person.

For two people with good loci of control, mutual love never ends.»

“Watch how a bad locus of control prevents you from getting out of the minus. And in general, from any situation interferes.

Under the last letter, many wanted to blame the man. Here he is, such and such, irresponsible, infantile, selfish, and maybe even a predator. I wanted to speculate about his motives.

And once in such a situation, almost everyone thinks exclusively about “well, why does he behave like that?”.

While you are unraveling the riddles of someone else's soul, struggling to find an excuse for someone else's behavior, the significance of this figure grows and grows.

She (the figure), like Vaska in the fable, listens and eats. Eats you.

No need to suffer and suffer over someone else's decency and dishonesty. What difference does it make whether the person is a scoundrel or just wanted to spit on you? You are not a judge at the Last Judgment, to whom they brought his soul in order to pass a sentence on which circle of Hell to send him to.

It is necessary to correct the locus and think about what you personally can do with a situation that does not suit you.

The more you think for the other, the more you lose yourself. It has nothing to do with empathy, it's an external locus of control."

“There was a time (and still remains for some psychologists) when it was believed that the locus of control should be either internal or external, depending on the situation. It was even believed that the internal locus of control in a situation where nothing depends on you is harmful.

But this is a misconception about locus of control. This word denotes a concept that has existed since antiquity. Julian Rotter called it that in the 90s (successfully), but he did not invent this phenomenon or even noticed it for the first time. Localization point volitional efforts(= locus of control) has been defined in one way or another by many philosophers. Center, rudder, will, spirit, self-consciousness - all these things are too important to be left out of the focus of thought.

“Many people confuse locus of control with choice.

In most situations, a person has almost no choice.

The choice for him is predetermined by the alignment of forces in the field.

People with poor reflection may imagine what they choose, but any more or less conscious person understands that he is not free to choose, that the choice is most often made for him. Real option one, the rest are either unavailable or insane.

And seeing this, many people come to the conclusion that the locus of control is a myth. A person cannot control anything. He is almost always a victim of circumstance.

The choice for him is made by society, parents made in childhood most elections (where he was born, what he studied), and for his parents - their ancestors.

Weather conditions determine for him how he will spend the day off, on the beach or at home, the exchange rate controls his vacation, the authorities choose the direction of his work, the wife controls how many children he will have.

Very little control and choice goes to the individual. And these elections are kind of funny, basically. What kind of tie to tie around your neck, order a steak in a restaurant or a burger. And even then, if you look closely, the choice of a tie depends on the choice of a suit, and the choice of a suit depends on whether he has grown fat over the past week. And the size of the waist just depends on the choice of a burger or a steak for dinner, but this choice depends on the authorities, whether they delay the salary, and also depends on the exchange rate. And it also depends on the spouse, because if, for example, she took out her brain in the morning, more carbohydrates are required for dinner, to relieve stress.

That is, a person's choice is a long chain of reasons that have developed as a result of external circumstances, the influence of other people and some random actions, the result of which cannot be foreseen in advance.

So where is the locus of control?

“Locus of control is that place in space to which you address a request to solve your personal problem.

That's when a person exclaims: "How everything got me!", His locus of control moves out of the center to the side or up.

His problem is that everything got to him, sometimes he doesn’t even formulate for himself what exactly got him, that’s all! And he turns his groan to someone who manages this "everything".

Well, God, apparently, but if an atheist, then another pope, the government, for example.

Atheists and believers are not as different as people with internal and external locus.

What difference does it make whether a man begs from God, imagining that he can force him to pray, or whines, scolding the government? It's about equally useless.

A believer with an internal locus is not much different from an atheist. Both of them do what is in their power, guided by the principle “do what you must, and be what will be”, just one believes that this “will be” is controlled by God, and the second that these are objective world laws. The former also thinks that these are all objective laws, but God stands above the laws, and sometimes the laws themselves are God. In this case, he is no different from an atheist with an internal locus.

But a person with an internal LC is very different from a person with an external LC.

It's like two different types of people.

One always spends energy on those emotions and thoughts that do not depend on him in any way.

For example: “The weather is bad, oh, what bad weather!»

For an hour or a whole day, such a person may worry that the weather is bad.

In an hour of experience, the chemistry of his body changes so much that everything else will appear to him in a gloomy light. But the main thing is that his whole psyche, which is the response apparatus, rushes about and sways, not knowing what to do. Trouble, trouble, LK signals, bad weather. But what to do? Where to run? Change your place of residence urgently? Because of the weather alone? Energy is always released in response to an emotion, it should go to solving a problem, but there is nowhere to direct it. Is it possible to conjure, like witches who cause rain by dangling their sticks in a puddle, and stop the rain by breaking these sticks.

And other problems outside the boundaries of influence in the same way confuse the psyche.

It is clear that a person can not influence everything. The weather can really be terrible. Illness can happen. Another trouble.

But all the problems that a person cannot influence, he must perceive as objective conditions, not to worry too much, not to discuss for too long, not to analyze, not to immerse himself, not to spend too much mental energy on it. He must direct psychic energy to that part which he can correct. That part is almost always there. Even in the most fatal situation. Protect yourself from the elements, at least partially, treat a disease or prolong life, eliminate the consequences of a disaster. This is within its boundaries. And everything that has already happened - no, it is in the past. And what is not yet in the past, but outside the zone of his control, is also pointless to discuss. You can talk in a secular or philosophical format, they say, this is how it happens, and so on, and so on. And it makes no sense to invest emotions and spend a lot of time.

A meaningful and conscious existence is a life with a good locus of control, a waste of strength within the zone of one's influence.

A good LC is a locus of control that allows you to direct your attention, especially emotionally charged and close attention, only to what is within the boundaries of influence.

All attention - in the zone of influence!

This is the internal locus of control, the right locus of control, the good one.”

See how difficult it is for some to catch the locus and understand where it belongs.

Suppose Masha was beaten by her husband, Pasha.

A beaten Masha sits and discusses with her girlfriends what Pasha is a goat, his father is a goat and his mother is a goat.

What is Masha's locus? Very bad. She cannot change Pasha's goat nature, but she can move her ass away from Pasha or even to the police in order to teach Pasha a lesson.

But let's imagine that Masha did come to the police and complains about Pasha, and the policeman tells her, they say, "you yourself are to blame, you married a goat."

Throwing arrows at the past is always a bad locus, even if it was Masha herself who grieved about the past, but in this case the police locus is much worse. He must accept and consider Masha's statement, perhaps punish Pasha, or at least scare him. He should do this, and not have conversations with Masha about her guilt and the mistakes of the past. In this case, he has a borderline (locus) bug Teacher and this bug will cost him dearly in his work and personal life.

“Even if the money was “on the ointment”, there is a high probability that everything will fail. But most often there is an ordinary delay, a delay, some special circumstances that normal condition you could easily go around and get everything, but in a state where you have already said “gop”, without jumping over, you start to stagger on one foot and fall into a puddle.

You quarrel with someone, demand something, because you have not only appropriated, but also spent this money that you did not receive.

You need to get it faster, faster, and you agree to unfavorable conditions, you are inattentive when signing papers, you are absent-minded.

If it is not about what you have already been promised, but about what you have not even been promised yet, but you yourself have come up with, the situation is even worse. You have imagined that you will soon earn a lot, but you have no real reasons, and you are forced to feed the crown in order not to recognize a false forecast.

Instead of work, you go headlong into some conversations, lie to your friends and paint your greatness in order to convince yourself that everything will be fine, you want to drink and relax, because the tension from the external locus is unbearable for a person, you want to go headlong into criminal action movies or go bawl at karaoke all night.

This is the desire to escape somewhere from yourself and merge, some suitable addiction - from instability. BUT instability always comes when you try to steer an external flow that is not dependent on you, on which you should only look with interest, without imagining yourself as its owner, without losing balance.

Removing navigation means learning to play with reality by the rules.

“Focus is where you direct your attention.

Locus is what you rely on, where you get support, guardianship and guidance.

When a person with an external locus of control tries to correct the boundaries and refuse tongs, he turns into a real conjurer, inventing ingenious or invisible tongs, and sometimes into an inquisitor, instead of using simple tongs, using tongs that are curved, hooked, hot on fire or soaked in acid.

It is impossible to have good boundaries if you have an external locus of control!

As long as you want to receive from another person what he himself does not want to give you, your tongs are drawn to him.

You can call them hooks, but if you're pulling hooks towards a person, they're tongs.

For fishing tools, your boundaries need to be perfect, which means your locus of control is in place.

Many people come to my blog to find out how to get from another person what he does not want to give. How to get love from someone who has cooled off or never loved. How to get back someone who left. How to get respect from someone who does not respect. By and large, such people come to learn all sorts of different tongs. Manipulation.

If you are trying to manipulate another person, then you are feeding yourself.

At the very moment when your greedy hands and envious little eyes reached out to someone else's will, your figure in the field began to decrease, and the other person's figure to grow, and you tied yourself to another figure, while it is on its own, you are attached to it, but she doesn't see you.

The more tentacles stretched from you to another person, the more power his figure seized over you. The person himself may have nothing to do with it, it is not a fact that he will somehow use this power.

But you have begun to feed yourself, and if you do not stop in "manipulations", feed yourself completely. You will not have the strength to live.

This world is much more just and humane than it seems to its renegades.

Thousands of years of evolution of our species have selected only those biological and social mechanisms that contribute to the survival and prosperity of individuals. A miserable lazy, envious and dependent being cannot receive profit and subordinate a stronger, independent and mature being to its will. Forget this infantile heresy and say goodbye to ideas of manipulating someone else's will. A stronger will than yours cannot be controlled! And the weaker one will obey itself, there is no need to manipulate it.

There is only one single scheme for gaining power - increasing personal power.

Personal strength grows from the pumping of resources, from the formation of a strong Ego - a good locus and boundaries, independent self-esteem, harmony between spontaneity and self-regulation. This gives a person stability and a supply of autonomous energy.

Personal strength gives, firstly, power over oneself (which is already a lot and makes a person free and confident), and secondly, it ensures your influence on those with whom your life is connected. Influencing does not mean manipulating! Only by respecting others and developing empathy can you truly influence them and gain authority in their eyes. There is no other way.

Infantiles who dream of doing nothing but manipulating others are like children who do not want to study, but want to find a magic wand to materialize candies and toys out of thin air. Nothing arises in this world out of thin air, it is time to learn this truth for everyone who is stuck in childhood.

Sharing boundaries with others is the beginning of one's own subjectivity and the beginning of respect for another's subjectivity.

“These torments of “how is it not to want anything from others” end immediately, as soon as you manage to realize the second part of the rule “if they themselves do not want to give it.”

To want to accept what you are voluntarily given is open borders, this is gratitude for cooperation and for attention to you. You are given something and you are happy with the established connection, exchange, you respond symmetrically, or better, a little more generously. Always a little more generous, in which case your self-respect becomes greater (because who is more generous, he is stronger).

But if a person does not want to give you anything, and you stubbornly want to receive it and start looking for ways to take it from him, bypassing his will, you shift your locus to him, merge the boundaries with him, and forceps grow in you. These tongs are rough and frank, if you don't reflect your fusion at all. But if you reflect on the fusion and don't want to interrupt it, your forceps take on an exquisite and ingenious shape, but do not become smaller. Sometimes even more become because of your cunning.

The more you merge yourself (by moving to another locus and attaching to it with forceps), the more your crown grows. Without the crown, you would panic over your addiction and drain, and in the crown, you feel that for the second, your tongs are an honor. If the reaction of the second is negative, you will close him with caps, justifying his resistance by saying that he is stupid or shy. And you will continue to merge yourself and reduce your figure in the field as long as you seek to impose your will on another person.

I have described all this many times, but look what I want to tell you now.

Most people who decide to put the tongs away and not expect anything from someone whose borders are not too wide open do not shift the locus, but the focus. Not a locus of control, but a focus of attention.

The locus remains the same external, and the focus shifts inward.

They have gone into themselves and look inside themselves and it seems to them that they have shifted the locus inward. Looking at yourself gloomy and pitiful is not enough pleasure, of course.

Having “intralocusted” in this way, they again return to the usual forceps. As they say, I saw your inner locus, there is nothing good in it.

Looking inward, they also continue to wait for help from outside, manna from heaven, they expect that if they focus gloomily on themselves, then the flow will go to them. But the flow has nothing more to do, as soon as to go to such rubbish. What did he forget?

Sometimes a person not only moves the focus inward and ceases to be interested in other people, but also shifts the locus. He stops expecting things from people. This reduces the degree of his suffering, but he can sink into apathy, into a state of indifference to life and a decrease in motivation to live.

Your focus should not be inside!

No need to look at yourself, no need to introspect and excessive self-reflection, no need to delve into your past and think too much about yourself.

The less your focus inside, the more chances open before you.»

“In order to quickly bring yourself into a strong and stable state, you need to correct the locus of control and remove the crown.

What does "fix the locus" mean? It means reformulate any problem (experience) so that it sounds: “What can I do?”

In this case, the center of the locus will be inside your boundaries, in the very center of the will, and the boundaries will end where your real opportunities. Everything inside the locus you do, everything outside you don't do and don't regret it, don't even think too much, because it's in literally the words "none of your business."

Very often people focus not on what they can really do, but on what others should do for them. This is an external locus of control, displaced from the center. In this case, the boundaries of a person end where his desires end. A person, as it were, appoints another as an executor of his will, acts as if a customer, but the second may be completely unaware and absolutely disagree with this.

A person devotes a lot of attention to what no one is going to do. He can worry about it, wait, ask and even demand. But he gets only humiliation, conflict and waste of energy. He doesn't reach his goal. This is the locus of a kid, who remembers. Waiting for mom with milk. Instead of mother, a wolf often comes.

It happens that people really owe you something, you invested and were promised a return, or it seemed to you that this was implied. You must have some leverage with which you can collect the debt. A receipt, a contract, an honest merchant's word given in front of witnesses, this person's dependence on you, his interest.

If your expectations are based on something, they are within your locus of control, within your boundaries, you have the reins and leverage over the situation.

If it turns out that there are no levers, unfortunately this is out of your locus. You did not take care in advance to control the process, you gave it under the control of another person and now it is outside your locus. So it's none of your business either. Be wiser next time, don't rely on "morality" and "custom" that different people may be different. Consider this difference.

Sometimes people's locus looks like this: "What should I do?" Moreover, “debt” does not mean one’s own decisions based on own capabilities(then it is a normal locus), but the desires of people. Everything that others want from such a person, expect from him, he automatically considers it his duty. Must, because others are waiting. Even if it's beyond his ability. A person believes that he is obliged to get these opportunities somewhere and spends a lot of energy searching. It's the locus of the savior gray wolf, magical helper.

Unfortunately, if you are not a magician, you will be constantly guilty of not living up to expectations. Including their own. It is impossible to steer what is beyond your capabilities. That is why the steering wheel must be placed in the center of your “I can”. I don't want to, I shouldn't, but I can. It goes without saying that one should try with all his might to expand and increase the possibilities, but precisely the possibilities, and not just make an external locus and send orders “I want” to the Universe or take on overwhelming tasks like an impostor pike or a gilded fish. The locus must be in place - if I can, then I can, if I can't, then it's none of my business.

Everything is simple!

However, that's just only if you don't have a crown."

“Corona is not a reaction to objective stress and other adversity, it is a reaction to your external locus of control.

You choose the place of control yourself. At any age and any condition, a person can move the locus of control inward and benefit from it.

You don’t respect yourself either, because you are ready to admit your weakness and dependence, and you don’t respect others, because you charge them with the duty to take care of you.

But look at the letters of the merging men. They sit and dream about meeting. They feel so miserable and empty, like a child whose mother left and went to work. The child is waiting for the mother to return, interrupt the disturbing loneliness, cancel boredom, bring a toy, come up with a game, take it in her arms, say sweet words, feed and lull. The child is defenseless and cannot fully take care of himself, he is waiting for his mother. And an adult who expects happiness, pleasure and fun from another has an external locus. He gives another person responsibility for his condition and waits for guardianship. While waiting, he freezes in a prayerful pose, patiently counts the hours and days, looks forward to satisfaction, fears rejection, his center is outside him, he is unstable and vulnerable, he is dependent.

This is what food is for other people.

The umbilical cord is extended to another person, the placenta is there, and a person with an external locus is like an embryo. Instead of feeding himself on his own and offering something tasty to another, he stretches his greedy mouth in a strange direction and yearns, and sometimes cries and waits. And the tongs get out at any contact. And how not to get it, if you really want to get it?

When control is not yours, you feel dependent and anxious, and this stress is covered by the crown.

Not the stress that life creates for you, such as bad weather or a market crisis or a loved one's illness. From such external stresses, the crown does not grow. No need.

The crown grows from stress, which is a consequence of your external locus.

“And infantiles “fall in love” = shift the locus. And they are already ready to merge the boundaries, that is, to consider the second person as themselves, their main part, but those rudiments of subjectivity, which is formed by itself in early childhood(although everyone in varying degrees), based on physical boundaries. The body of someone else is separate, so he is not you. He is the Other.

That's what the ALARM is about. In primary narcissists, when the locus is shifted, it is much greater than in neurotics. They feel their physical boundaries much better.

This is the stress from which the crown grows. This stress appears only from the displacement of the locus. From the fact that you want to lean on another and merge with him, but you are afraid that he is not you, you are afraid like an animal is afraid when he sees another animal. To relieve anxiety, you must either return the locus to its place, or consider the second one safe, dependent on you, subordinate to you, weaker.

The Treasure Crown is the irrational feeling that you are the center of the world. Not only your world, but the world of other people. You are the boss, you are loved and appreciated. The Crown of Treasure is always on the Infantil's head, but as long as the Locus wanders like a restless one, this crown does not grow much, and when the Infantile has chosen someone to suck on, the crown begins to grow.
And other crowns are arranged according to the same principle.

The crown is growing and under it the borders are already merging. With tongs, a person tries to control others if for some reason they do not understand what they should do. And sometimes he removes the tongs and just merges. And then suddenly the tongs come out again. Or rocks.

The crown can fall when he suddenly realizes that the second one wanted to spit on him and does not consider him the main thing.

But if the locus is not corrected, the crown will grow back, because living with a displaced locus without a crown is hell.

Hell until the locus is fixed."

“Many liked to take off the crowns, but the majority did not.

The more you remove the crowns, the more they grow. This is because when you remove the crown, you forget about the locus of control. Many do not even forget, they don’t even want to know what it is, intuitively disgusted by it.

Many people like posts about crowns, everyone has fun, everyone willingly finds crowns, discusses them, and on posts about locus, the attention of the majority is scattered, they don’t want to understand anything. Posts about borders go better, it seems to everyone that they write about rights. And the locus of control is duty, that is, tediousness.

But you can’t take off the crown if you don’t fix the locus of control. The locus of control is the main thing, and the crown is just an application. It's a decoration that covers up a bad locus of control. Without moving the crown, it is difficult to find the locus, but without correcting the locus, you definitely cannot get rid of the crown. Even if you suddenly take it off, she will immediately make you “bams”, come back.

Would you like to see an example?

« A person may have a different locus of control in different resources.

That is, of course, there is one locus of control, but different settings for each resource.

For example, in a job resource, a person has normal locus settings, he does not sit and wait for a better job offer, he does what he can or looks for a job himself, he thinks about improving his qualifications, he studies something new, he tries to determine their weak sides and get rid of them. Even if such a person lacks will or energy, he still knows exactly how to get what he wants, he sees why he does not have what he wants. For example, he thinks: yes, I have been going to improve my language for a long time or master this one. new program, my things would have gone much better, but I still don’t do this, so I have what I have, I have to somehow get to grips with it. And he understands that the matter is in him, he knows what needs to be done, and to some extent he is calm from this, he does not rush about like a blind man. He may not get together for another year and not do what he planned, but he knows WHAT needs to be done.

Do you understand what a locus of control is? An idea of ​​what you need to do to yourself to improve the situation.

The locus of control is not will, not motivation, these are all other settings of the Ego, and self-esteem is a separate setting, although self-esteem is closely related to the locus of control, and will (self-regulation) is also connected (if you correct the locus well, there will be more will). But the energy (spontaneity) is almost not connected, but it appears as a result of the fact that you correct the locus, self-esteem comes to an adequate state, self-regulation increases slightly and as a result, soon you will have more energy. That is, editing the locus starts the process of obtaining energy, although it does not provide it.

Locus of control is understanding what you HAVE to do, but if you are used to looking outside yourself for the answer, asking friends, acquaintances, having meetings about this, acting according to instructions, relying on external forces and living in dreams, then your locus remains very bad, external, and you cannot fix it.

And if you are convinced that you can’t do anything with the resource, but can only wait or refuse, everything is also bad with your locus.”

“What do people with bad boundaries lack? What is their flaw?

Everyone who has already read the blog, probably remembered that the boundaries depend on the locus of control. If your locus of control is shifted from the center (you are looking for support outside) and even more so if it is, as they say, “in the sky”, far from your center, then you have no boundaries, or rather there are some, but in merger with other people and the things you've shifted your locus of control to, what you're trying to build on.

Imagine that a person with mental problems feels someone else's leg as his own. Such disorders are not uncommon. People may not feel their body parts, but they may take foreign objects for themselves. But these are unhealthy people, and as for the confusion of personal boundaries, this is also healthy people happens to be found everywhere. People are healthy, but personal attitude underdeveloped, their personal boundaries are not formed, the locus is unstable, so they continually confuse themselves and others, their own and others.

This is so commonplace for most people that it seems normal to them.

Only by knowing exactly what good boundaries look like do you begin to notice how deplorable the boundaries of many apparently healthy people are.

And I must say that very bad boundaries lead people to such stress that they may even have mental problems. If they were children, nothing, their parents would take care of them, but they have already grown up, and they have no boundaries, and the level of constant external threat may be unbearable. We will have to create such psychological defenses that will violate the adequate perception of reality and the person will behave like a madman.

« 1. External egocentric locus ("victim")

Locus of control is a vector; it has not only a range, but also a direction.

Egocentric (centripetal) locus - on oneself, altruistic (centrifugal) - on others.

A person with an egocentric locus of control believes that everyone owes him.

The main quality of such people is envy and resentment. They are eternal little children who were not given, but should have been given.

Surrounding and especially close people have no chance not to hurt and offend such a person, because his subjective boundaries extend so widely that others have nowhere to take a step so as not to step on him. And then they hear reproaches addressed to them.

Usually, “victims” easily find another type of people with a different vector (conditionally, altruistic) – “rescuers”, these are also people with an external locus of control directed differently.

2. External altruistic locus ("rescuer")

A person with such a locus of control believes that he should help everyone. On the one hand, he looks good, sometimes even a saint, however, he often becomes a rapist and an aggressor, because he seeks to impose good and inflict world justice.

“Friends, why do you still have the locus of the curve?

Here we are discussing now not a bachelor, but women. Why do you write, what is wrong with the other side? How do you reach her head?

Or the guy under the last post. He began to whine about how wrong his girlfriend's mother was. Still not understood that any reasoning makes sense only within the boundaries? What can YOU do, and not how wrong and how bad the other. Nursery group.

Because of this, all the talk about your figure boils down to what you owe and how ethically the other side should act.

And you yourself turn from a mushroom into moss while whining about it.

Quotes - (C) Evolution.

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