Why can't we accept ourselves? Reasons for not loving yourself

If you approach the mirror and look carefully at the reflection, the question “who am I?” arises, then it's time to figure it out. This will help you improve or even change your life, become happier and take a different look at the world around you. How to accept yourself, understand and love? Psychologists have a lot of advice and recommendations in this regard. Let's take a look at a few basic steps.

Important Basics

First of all, you need to understand what it means to "accept yourself." This does not mean a throw from one extreme to another: from a bunch of complexes and insecurity to narcissism and ascension to the ranks of saints. To accept yourself and your life is, first of all, to realize the whole value and uniqueness of the body and soul, every moment and place, person and object, and also to understand your significance in this cycle of the universe. Sounds complicated and incomprehensible? In fact, everything is simple, if you break it down into points.

1. Unique personality

How to accept yourself if there is no compliance with generally accepted norms? The thing is that the world is changeable and you should not change yourself blindly following trends and fashion trends. Today, athletic and healthy are in trend, tomorrow fat and lazy will smile from the covers of magazines, and the day after tomorrow some others.

If you don’t live your life and do only what everyone else does, then you can easily lose yourself. It is very important to remember that each person is unique. You should not give up on yourself, just because in appearance, behavior or character there are not those qualities that should be. And they should be, in general, only because someone said so. Looking in the mirror, it is worth remembering that a person in the reflection is unique, unrepeatable, and this, at least, is interesting.

2. Beauty is different

Having dealt with the uniqueness, you can move on to the next item - appearance. Are these unique body, face, arms and legs beautiful? Of course yes! And nothing else! The color of the eyes, if you look closely, is so deep and bewitching. Hair frames the face so beautifully and emphasizes femininity. The body, although not perfect, but also looks very good.

Accept yourself any and do not forget that beauty is very different. Think of some where women knock out their teeth or scar their bodies to be beautiful. To a European this seems strange and ugly, but on the black continent this is the height of perfection. So what looks disgusting to one person will look perfect to another. Beauty is not an absolute concept, many-sided and many-sided.

Well, if these beliefs do not work, then - go ahead for beauty! Gym, beauty salon, clothing store - anything! The main thing is not to lose yourself in the pursuit of beauty, and when doing a newfangled hairstyle or trying on a trendy dress, do not forget about inner feelings. What happens if you take off this outfit and wash off the paint? Under the bright and beautiful wrapper, the same beauty remains as without it.

3. Advantages and disadvantages

Having dealt with the appearance, you can move on to the beauty of the inner. How to accept yourself if there are only flaws?

First, people without merit simply do not exist. Everyone has something to flaunt and something to work on.

Secondly, is there really so much bad and so little good? You need to take a sheet of paper, draw it into two halves and divide all your qualities into positive and not so good. This should be done in a calm and quiet environment, so that no one interferes, and nothing distracts. Then, for each merit, you can praise yourself or even reward yourself. For example, indulge in a cake or fragrant tea.

Now, let's move on to the list of disadvantages. It is necessary to include objective criticism on full power and analyze each item. Is this really a flaw, or does it just seem that way. For example, the directness and simplicity of a person in different life situations can be both good and useful quality, and completely inappropriate. This ambiguous character trait cannot be classified as a disadvantage. And so on in the same vein. Having worked through the entire list in this way, you can make sure that everything is not so bad, and that there is no huge “black list”. And if some shortcomings still oppress and haunt, then you need to highlight them and work on their elimination.

4. No comparisons

How to accept yourself as imperfect, if everyone around you is so good, beautiful and smart? Very simple! You need to stop comparing yourself to others. You need to learn to erase from your mind the thoughts that someone has thicker hair, a slimmer waist, and so on. Here we recall the first and third points. Each person is unique and inimitable, but not perfect. Comparisons don't make any sense. They only develop insecurity, envy and other feelings and thoughts that do not benefit anyone at all.

5. Cross out the excess

Very often a person does not accept himself just because his environment does not allow it. Don't sacrifice yours inner feeling comfort and confidence for someone else. On the contrary, it is worth conducting an audit in your relations with others. All who do not accept and do not respect as a person must be immediately struck out of life. "Good" advice best friend about appearance and love, if analyzed, may not be so sincere and good. And the statement about the "soul mate" turns out to be just an attempt to keep or subjugate.

People around should accept two truths:

There are no halves, quarters, and so on. Each person is whole and self-sufficient.
Each person is unique and inimitable, interesting and beautiful, and there is no need to change it. If you are interested, communicate, and if not, leave.

In addition, there amazing people who cry all the time, whine and literally “pull out” vital energy from everyone else. Such friends and girlfriends with prolonged communication can simply plunge into depression, from which it is very difficult to get out later.

And another category of "unfavorable communication" is those who assert themselves at the expense of others. If a girlfriend gives advice on how to make eyelashes as long as hers, or how to become as fashionable as she is, then most likely this is not a sincere desire to help at all, but an attempt to emphasize one's own peculiarity by belittling the merits of others . Such people are also not suitable for long-term and close communication, otherwise you can earn a lot of complexes and insecurity.

6. To love and be loved

How to love yourself? The advice of psychologists in this paragraph is the same as in all the previous ones - to make sure of your uniqueness, uniqueness, inner and outer beauty, and exclude everyone who does not agree with this from the social circle.

There is only one important nuance. Love, as you know, is not subject to reason. It is impossible to sincerely and truly love someone by force, even yourself. But there is good news - love for oneself is inherent in nature. It already exists, just under the influence of some circumstances or people it important feeling hidden somewhere deep inside and it needs to be extracted, revived and filled with strength.

No need to try, but you just need to excite those feelings that already exist. And that's where the tips in this article come in handy. Having appreciated all the advantages, convinced of its beauty and originality, and having cleansed your life of unnecessary people, a person will resurrect the lost feeling of love for his own family.

7. Different emotions

Another very important rule: you can and should understand yourself, accept and love in any emotional state. Absolutely everyone is sad or sad, any person can get angry or just "be out of sorts."

Negative emotions are also part of inner world. If this means what the soul and body need now, and there is no need to be afraid of this, to be shy, etc. Of course there are life situations, when it is necessary to restrain emotions, but after that, you can hug your favorite pillow and shout to her, whatever you think, or cry enough.

All feelings are natural and should not be suppressed. If there are too many of them, then this separate issue can be worked out, but at the same time, without forgetting the first point - each person is unique, and an emotional portrait is an important component of this uniqueness.

little helpers

Help, accept, understand and love yourself can be simple things that are available to everyone today:

Summing up

If after reading the article and following all the recommendations, the question “who am I?” Still remains, then here is the answer: smart, beautiful, wonderful person and interesting personality!

Only this way and nothing else! So say the leading psychologists of the world, and experts of this level simply cannot be wrong.

How to accept yourself? Mankind, chasing far-fetched mythical standards of beauty, is losing the most valuable thing that is bestowed by nature - itself. People lose their real selves, not realizing that the approximation of the arrow of the scales to the cherished figure or enlarged breasts will not make them happier. Of course, achieving the goal will give you a few happy moments, which will be replaced by emptiness inside. And all because the human subject is a stubborn creature who does not want to accept his own features without embellishment. To achieve positive changes, an individual should accept himself, which is impossible, since there are a number of characteristics that he does not like. Here such closed "wheel" turns out. In order to destroy the current situation, it is necessary, first of all, to understand how to accept oneself, which this phrase implies.

How to accept yourself as you are - psychology

Anyone adequate person a bit of doubt in one's own mind, appearance, ingenuity is characteristic. Everyone tends to berate themselves from time to time. A feeling of dissatisfaction with one's own person can sometimes appear even in the most confident subject. This is fine. However, the ever-present feeling of dissatisfaction with oneself greatly complicates existence and causes harm. A person seems to immediately sign his own insolvency in any undertakings, pre-programming himself for failure. Therefore, you should learn to accept your own person without embellishment and changes, stop complaining about being and notice happiness in the most insignificant everyday trifles.

First of all, it is recommended to stop looking at others, looking for features in them that are absent from your own person. Such behavior only generates complexes and a depressive mood. If you are not satisfied with something appearance, life or, then this is an occasion to become better. First of all, you should clearly articulate your so-called "flaws", as well as the traits you want to acquire. You can also write down what you want on paper. After that, you need to comprehend each item, outline a plan to get rid of the minuses and achieve the desired.

If an individual is dissatisfied with their overweight or thick hair, then fixing this is quite simple. The main thing is the presence of desire and perseverance. Gym visits, morning jogs, evening walks, exercises, contrast showers and many other completely inexpensive ways will help to correct the figure. Also, with the rarity of hair, folk penny remedies can help.

If the situation is a little worse and the person is not satisfied with the nose, legs, chest, then you should not immediately seek help from plastic surgery. First of all, you need to look around and comprehend the main thing - the people you meet in everyday life are not at all ideal. For most human subjects, their imperfectly shaped lips, imperfect bite, flawed eye cut, do not interfere at all career growth and in family life. Therefore, in order to be happy, it is not at all necessary to be perfect.

Most often, a person is prevented from rejoicing in his being. inner mood, and not the lack of a generally accepted model appearance. After all, it is quite difficult and almost impossible to love a subject who is not satisfied with himself and does not love his own person. Only parents are able to adore their child, dissatisfied with their own traits. It is necessary to comprehend that initially it cannot be worse or better than the environment. It’s just that an individual who is dissatisfied with his own appearance is simply devoid of perseverance, unable to set goals, make plans and implement them. Since one awareness of one's own shortcomings is not enough to make changes. It is better to start your own transformation small. For example, stop being late and then you won’t have to come up with excuses, deceiving others.

Any changes do not come suddenly. Therefore, it is recommended to set a goal, to break its achievement into thematic stages. For each intermediate goal, you need to praise yourself and be proud of your own successes.

How to accept yourself and love

A person may try to win the love of the crowd, may look in a favorable light in front of the environment, may perform good deeds, but cannot become happy until he accepts himself. A person becomes truly successful when he begins to like himself. , dissatisfaction with external data, uncertainty - all this is a consequence of dislike for one's own person, which prevents one from living fully.

If a person began to wonder how to learn to accept himself, then he moves into right direction. Learning to live in harmony with your own personality is quite simple. The problem may lie in the fact that the subject himself is not aware of the existence of dislike for himself. More often the root cause of this kind comes from childhood period life. However, in addition to this, there are other factors that provoke rejection of oneself.

Education, based on the suppression of initiative, orders, criticism, lack of tenderness, forms in children an idea of self as unworthy of love, parental care, attention.

Another extreme form of improper upbringing - overprotection - also gives rise to dislike for oneself. Excessive care prevents crumbs from taking independent solutions to act independently. As a result, in the adult state, such an individual believes that he does not have enough skills to do something, lacks knowledge, lacks courage, and lacks skills. This will inevitably lead to a decline in self-esteem and confidence.

The performance of actions that gave rise to critical statements from the environment or caused one's own condemnation, unfortunately, leads to a reassessment of values. Such a depressing state provokes dissatisfaction with oneself.

Inconsistency with far-fetched perfect image is the most common factor that generates non-acceptance of oneself. If a person strives for an ideal created by himself and does not achieve the desired, then dissatisfaction with himself comes. Also, the reason for this is often a discrepancy with the expectations of the society or the image imposed by the same society or the media. The result of such an attitude is the rejection of oneself as real and the setting of an unattainable goal.

Problems in professional activity or unpleasant incidents in the sphere of personal relationships also often have a negative impact on self-perception. Parting with a partner, a quarrel with relatives, conflicts with colleagues, the feeling of guilt generated by these events negatively affects self-esteem. Especially if the attitude of the individual to his own person is built on personal achievements.

So how do you accept yourself? Everything is simple, necessary, their virtues, negative traits, flaws of appearance, beauty of the soul. Make a selection of qualities and traits that, in the opinion of the individual, hinder success, happiness, personal life in order to take further steps to eliminate them. It must be understood that the presence negative traits, is only an excuse to become better, an incentive to, and not a reason for longing, despondency, whining and depressive mood.

Love is generated by actions and is found in them. Initially, its grain is born with the help of parents. After all, they love a newborn baby, take care, play with the baby, set moral guidelines and direct, which forms the personality of the child. In a crumb that perceives the actions of parents and feels love through them, confidence is developed, adequate, the position “I am worthy”, “I can handle it” is formed.

When a person loves himself, he performs actions. In other words, he does not waste time on, whining, complaining, over and over again trying to find what is wrong with him. He sets goals and strives to achieve them. Of course, everyone has moments of blues, but if the individual loves himself, he does not allow longing to drag him into a pool of sadness for a long time. At the same time, one must understand that love for one's own person is not a synonym for or. Since an individual who knows how to love himself respects the environment. He does not try to put himself higher, interacts with society on an equal footing. Thus, love for one's own person implies inner satisfaction with oneself, self-acceptance.

Self-acceptance is painstaking and enjoyable work that requires a temporary resource and a lot of effort, but the result is worth it.

Self-acceptance is a process that takes place on several levels: bodily, emotional, social, intellectual and spiritual.

Acceptance at the bodily level involves loving one's own unadorned body. It must be understood that human body is a kind of temple for his soul. Care is in caring for the body. It involves understanding and reading all its signals (trembling, pain, tingling).

On the emotional level acceptance implies finding a middle ground between the total suppression of emotional manifestations and states when they control the individual. It is necessary to observe experiences, to be aware of them, to “catch”, to name all emerging emotional manifestations. This skill facilitates understanding of one's own reactions, oneself, the situation and promotes acceptance right decision. At the same time, one should be aware of any emotional manifestations, regardless of direction. In addition, it is recommended to avoid interaction with individuals who cause negative, envious people, liars, gossips, eternal mourners.

On the social level acceptance is the awareness of all social roles losing by a person, and positions in society. You can't compare yourself to other human subjects. You only need to equate yourself now with yourself in the past and future.

You should strive exclusively for your own, independently planned goals. Achieving someone else's goals will not bring happiness, success and harmony. The intellectual tier is based on the individuality of the set of knowledge and experience. The more experienced the individual, the more developed intellectually erudite, the easier it is for him to adapt to life and navigate in it.

There are no stupid subjects, there are only individuals who are less knowledgeable in a certain area. If an individual is not given the study of any discipline, then in life given science won't be useful. Therefore, it is necessary to rely solely on your own interests, hobbies, passions, skills and talents. Why torture yourself by solving boring mathematical examples, trying to extract the roots and divide the polynomial into a monomial, if the soul lies in philology.

On the spiritual level self-perception implies awareness of one's own uniqueness. It is necessary to appreciate being and be grateful for the opportunity to live, see, feel harmony. You should not fixate on your own mistakes and shortcomings. All human subjects make mistakes. Any miscalculations and oversights must be taken as learned experience, specific features which need to be analyzed, developed a conclusion and, if necessary, carry out corrective work.

If a girl is not beautiful, how to accept yourself and love for who you are

The first steps on the path to self-perception must begin with the acceptance of one's own body. After all, it is physical object which can be felt and seen. Therefore, it is much easier to identify yourself with the body. How often does a person care for personal bodies with love? Individuals who do not love themselves are likely not to accept and own body, as a result of which he is not lovingly cared for. by the most effective method accepting one's own physical shell is gratitude. It is necessary to thank the body for helping to implement plans, for fulfilling needs, desires, just for it.

Below are some ways to learn to accept yourself.

First of all, it is recommended to try to track the moments of rejection, which may arise as a result of the need to be considered good, the desire to please the environment. For this, doing certain action, you need to think about whether there really is a desire to produce it or whether it is generated by influence from outside.

One of the clear signs of dislike for one's own person is. By criticizing his own actions, himself, a person seems to inform himself that he does not meet someone's far-fetched expectations. Therefore, in the beginning, one should analyze whose requirements or expectations generated actions. Why is it necessary to comply with them. The analysis will show that, most likely, some requirements are generated by the statements of acquaintances or even strangers.

When a girl strives to be good for her inner circle, this is normal, but when she tries to please all human subjects, she loses herself.

In the diary, you need to write down situations of acceptance and opposite cases. It is necessary to track changes and reward yourself for positive dynamics.

In the matter of self-acceptance, you need to take an example from small brothers. Toddlers love themselves unconditionally and rejoice even in tiny achievements. When the baby falls, taking the first steps, he does not criticize himself. He accepts himself. It is on the example of babies that one can see both love for one's own little person and complete acceptance.

An early day should start with a smile. Performing routine morning hygiene procedures, it is recommended to stay a little longer at the mirror, look affectionately at your own reflection, give a smile. Then you should confidently say a few compliments to yourself, for example, I'm cute, beautiful, I look young, I easily turn my head to the opposite sex, I'm smart. You should act in this way daily in order to feel your own irresistibility.

7 MAGIC RULES

1. EDUCATION
BENEFITS.

When we feel not good enough, we find a reason to be
unhappy, offended, abandoned, guilty, humiliated ... This list can be
continue for a long time. We open doors for our illnesses, misfortunes. Let's
Let's stop criticizing ourselves and believe in ourselves. Let's feel like a worthy person.

Let's start respecting ourselves.

2. BE SOFT AND TOLERANT WITH YOURSELF.

loving person always soft and tolerant. He understands that there is absolutely no
perfect people. Everyone can make mistakes, stumble. A loving person forgives
this continues to love. Do the same with yourself. If something is not
It turns out right away, be tolerant of yourself. Gradually, everything will work out for you and you
overcome all your shortcomings. Allow yourself to make mistakes. Don't be
too hard on yourself. Love yourself as such: mistaken, stumble, having flaws.
3. RELEASE YOUR FEARS.

Every person has many different fears. But the most insidious of them is fear -
“they don’t love me.” The stronger the fear of “they don’t love me,” the darker the world for
human. The stronger heartache. Almost all the most serious vices
humanity are the result of the fear of "I am not loved": alcoholism,
drugs, aggression, anger, hatred, cruelty. And there is only one salvation -
let go of your fears. MEDITATION

"Let go of your fear." When you let go of your fears, including the fear of “I am not loved”, the energy of Love begins to flow in your Soul and throughout your being in a wide river. Then you can love yourself with all your soul.
4. FORGIVE YOURSELF.

Enough has already been said about forgiveness. It must be added that only man
who has completely forgiven himself will be able to rise to the next step of his path to
finding self love. After all, if you haven’t forgiven yourself for something, then you
are still at odds with themselves, i.e. you are not at peace with yourself. You have to yourself
some claims remain. In this state of affairs, of course, you cannot
fully accept yourself as you are. You from within will continue
gnaw the worm. All this negativity is a heavy burden on your Soul. She suffers again.

So forgive yourself completely, lighten your Soul.
5. ACCEPT YOURSELF TOTALLY AND WITH GRATITUDE.

Now that you have lightened your Soul from the burden of unforgiveness and guilt, freed your consciousness from imaginary fears and false beliefs, now take a look at yourself and the world around you. You see how beautiful the world is, how beautiful our Earth and everything that exists on it. But the most wonderful and beautiful creature in this wonderful
world is you. You are the secret of secrets, the mystery of mysteries. You are the very embodiment of the harmony of life. You have been given this wonderful life. After all, the mere fact that you appeared on Earth, that you live is a miracle of miracles. So accept your life and yourself with gratitude. Accept yourself completely. With all your
advantages and disadvantages. Although, I think, you have already understood that you cannot have shortcomings. It's just your idiosyncrasies. Cute and original.
6. RECOGNIZE YOUR DIVINITY.

Think now about your purpose, about the purpose of your stay in this world. Remember that you are
glowing energy. Energy of Love, Harmony and Creation. little particle
Divine Absolute. You need to have the courage to believe in yourself, in your God in
A soul with such strength that no one's objections and prejudices can discredit
my God. Who is freed from fears, he eliminates the wall between himself and his part of God - the Soul. And now it remains to take a small step to fully reunite with your God - with the Higher Self.

7. LOVE YOURSELF.

So, when you realize that you are in fact God, when you feel in your chest this flaming particle of God - your Soul, then your worldview will completely change. You will be free! Then you will understand that your task in this material world is to experience all kinds of life experiences in love. Not negative energy should accompany you in this life. You are the essence of the Energy of Love and Creation. You have to learn here on Earth all the negativity, all the evil - to transform it into the positive energy of Love. Love yourself and love others. This will gradually become your urgent need: to transform all negative manifestations into positive ones, carrying a charge of love and creation.

All the bad that is in this world, in this life, can make us wiser and give us strength if we perceive it with love and try to live with love and turn it into good

All the good that is in us is the bad learned in past lives.
Your Soul carries only the good.

Your Soul perceives this world through Love. Your Soul understands only Love. After all, it is the energy of Love. Therefore, your Soul has its own views on life and all the events that take place. If the views of your Soul and your consciousness on life do not coincide, then your consciousness will face
great suffering.

Remember this. Love yourself. Love God in yourself. Live in accordance with the Laws of the Universe - the laws of Love, Unity, Harmony and Creation. And then you will discover in yourself unprecedented forces.

The horizons of your awareness will expand. Your creative success will give you both moral and material satisfaction. Your life will benefit you, people, and the planet.

Elena Gamayun,
family psychologist Often we hear the phrase “you need to love and accept yourself”, but not everyone understands what this really means. Women say with irritation: "... I already love myself, I bought myself a dress, did my hair, went for a massage once." At the same time, she works like a man, nervous system she is not in order, our lady does not do what she wants, her husband offends her, children twist ropes out of her, she does not have the opportunity to be alone with herself, etc. Love and self-acceptance is one of the basic criteria for a woman’s happiness and in love, and in relationships with loved ones, and career success, and of course, the absence of health problems.

If you want life
smiled at you, give her first
your good mood.

SPINOSA

Let's take a look at what self love is. To do this, we turn to our being. We have ours, our mind, our emotions, our spirit. And all this is in great need of our joyful care, attention and love. Our little girl inside really wants to be heard, waiting for praise and gifts. And instead, he constantly hears: “No”, “Not now”, “We are already too old for this”, “This is harmful”, “Be quiet and be patient, what if he leaves?” ... Let's start taking care of ourselves: about your body, your mood, your development and your soul!

"I" comes first

Steps to a Happy Self

So how do you start loving yourself?

You need to learn to listen to yourself and your desires

For many women this a big problem. Our brain is so often clogged with other people's thoughts and desires that many have long forgotten what it means to fulfill their own desires! To do this, there is a wonderful exercise "What I want." It is done very simply: take a sheet of paper and answer yourself the questions “What gives me joy?”, “From what do I get positive emotions?”. Here you need to specifically write a list: what exactly brings you joy? For example, talking with children, walking the dog, a warm bath with rose petals, or maybe you dream of painting a picture or going dancing. The main thing is that it should be a specific action that does not depend on the circumstances. Something that you can do yourself and have fun doing it.
What does my soul desire? What have I wanted to do for a long time? My simple desires (here just start spontaneously writing the answer to these questions). Then decide for yourself that from this moment you begin to love and pamper yourself. Start fulfilling your desires - this will give you a feeling of self-love and self-care. Inner self-respect will appear and.

Learn to say "NO"

This is important point self love. At the same time, it is important not to feel guilty, most people just manipulate you on a sense of guilt. Always think: do I want to do this? What's the worst that will happen if I don't do it now? For example, you don’t want to go somewhere, but friends either insist, or a man behaves incorrectly towards you, and you don’t tell him “no!” and keep sacrificing yourself. Sometimes it’s very scary to say “NO” for the first time, but out of love for yourself, learn to do it. As the sages say, do something out of love, not out of fear.

Reclaim your personal space and your personal time

If your loved ones and friends are used to the fact that you are always at their disposal, that they can put their own interests above yours, behave selfishly towards you, you need to put an end to this. Arrange with your loved ones, explain what you need too personal time for recovery vitality and inner harmony.

Find your favorite passion or hobby

It can be drawing, yoga, dancing, traveling ... And do not give in to blackmail like: “What is more important to you - your dances or me?” So often men blackmail women, trying to draw more attention to themselves. But there is danger here! When you stop doing yourself and your hobbies (that is, filling yourself with joy and positive emotions), you may become uninteresting to him. Because a woman who does not love and does not value herself becomes uninteresting for her man!

love your body

Realize that your body is the temple of your soul. I wrote a lot of meditations and auto-trainings for women, as this is a big problem! Advertising, television - they all impose some kind of standards on us, but this is a big deception. I'm not suggesting you eat up at night and stop exercising, no. I suggest you start communicating with your body in a slightly different way. We have the mind of our body, it is called "somatic mind" and it hears us perfectly! And what does he hear? No thanks for the hard work, something is always wrong: sides, cellulite, I'm not beautiful enough, I'm old, etc. Why do many of my clients, addressing the problem excess weight get the result? Because they begin to love their body. And out of love (and not out of hatred for him) they go to training, eat right, lead healthy lifestyle life, learn how to deal with stress.

Open your second wind!

It is necessary to find and raise from your subconscious all your wonderful resources and abilities! Recognize your uniqueness. Surely in your life there were situations where you were at your best. Where everything worked out and you were at your peak positive emotions. Your task is to consciously remember this. For example, at our trainings we do the exercise “What is my uniqueness”, where participants consciously begin to reflect on their strengths and remember situations where they showed their best qualities and received positive feedback.
Simply put, our brain is so arranged that, remembering some events, “anchors” are automatically turned on, some of our memory, and we really get into these emotions and states that were in that situation. And getting into this reality, we can actually feel great changes in our condition. There will be a joy of life, a feeling of success, self-confidence! If you learn these techniques, you will become and be able to easily go through life in love and harmony.

Learn how to deal with stress the right way

It is known that negative emotions kill any person from the inside. The woman fades, her beauty, youth leaves. Outwardly, this is very pronounced. Let's remember constantly disgruntled people, they already have wrinkles in a certain way, the expression on their faces is always angry. And even when emotions are not shown, the evil face still remains, because this mask negative emotions already imprinted. Therefore, it is necessary to learn the techniques of self-regulation and accept your mistakes without criticism and self-blame! In other words, bring yourself into the resource state you need.

Looking for the strength to change

There are several ways that I, as a psychologist, can offer. You can choose any depending on your temperament, perception of the world and experience in this kind of practice. One of them is the mental revision, or “coach approach”. It is suitable for women who are important to realize, understand and direct their minds to solve the situation, and not to destroy themselves. For example, you have some difficult situation, and you are in a CRASH state. If you start thinking something like “Why did it all happen, what was my fault, what did I do wrong?”, then dive even deeper into the problem. And if you start thinking, “What can I do now to change this situation?” - this is a significant plus. This kind of thinking is aimed at SOLVING the problem and gives you the opportunity to act, and not suffer and lose strength.
If you can't do anything to change the situation, then you need to create a positive experience by asking yourself, “What do I want instead? What will I do next time to prevent this from happening?

Dear girls! Love and pamper yourself! Surround yourself good people, pleasant music, flowers. Learn to eat right and manage your condition. Be always in resource state love for yourself, and it will not be difficult for you to become an easy and cheerful person. Namely, such people are lucky!

Many people are looking for themselves - in different activities, places and relationships. In fact, first of all, the search must be carried out inside yourself. Only you can know who you really are. Even if you don't think you know it, your heart knows it and has always known it.

To accept and love yourself completely and completely means to accept and love yourself naked. In every sense of the word. No external attributes - clothes, hair, cosmetics or jewelry - do not define who you really are. They can complement and express you, but they cannot replace you. Who you are is not determined by imposed social stereotypes, learned roles, masks that you voluntarily or involuntarily put on every day.

Try to be alone and look at yourself in the mirror. Do you admire your body? Or are you ashamed and embarrassed because this body is yours? But you once loved this body, and accepted it as a whole. It was in childhood. It never occurred to you then that you were somehow not so, imperfect. You were happy being yourself. Remember this feeling, feel it, and try to remember.

Remember also your childhood dreams, even the most ridiculous ones.

Try to remember what brought you real joy.
What games did you like to play?
Who were you friends with?

All these memories huddle in the core of your soul, and store information about the real you. Indeed, in childhood you did not know how to pretend, did not try to seem like someone, you were only yourself.

Think back to your childhood: what made you happy, what did you do. This is the key to knowing yourself.

So be yourself again! Do what you have long dreamed of, but did not dare.

Accept yourself, your body - even if it is not perfect. If you do not accept and love your body, it will not become more perfect from this, quite the opposite.
Find what you like about your appearance and focus on it.
Praise yourself, give yourself a compliment.
Make it a habit to smile sincerely at your reflection every time, and not frown at the sight of yourself.
Release your inner essence to freedom - remove the masks, stereotypes, imposed behaviors.
Be free. Express your true feelings.

Behave according to your heart, not society. This is what it means to find yourself, to find yourself. You will feel how easy it has become to breathe, life has become more pleasant and interesting, and strength has appeared for achievements and accomplishments. You will gain.

Accepting and loving yourself is a very important step on the path to true happiness.

A person who has fully accepted himself can build healthy, happy relationships with other people, is not afraid of difficulties and obstacles, does not shy away from responsibility, looks at the world loving eyes radiates waves of joy and harmony. So take that step!

Only those who have accepted their “I” are ready to build harmonious and happy relationships with other people.

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