Types of conflict personalities: characteristics and methods of effective interaction. Conflict-free personality type

Definitions « conflict person” and “non-conflict person” have become commonplace and commonly used. But what lies behind these worn out words? Is conflict a mental illness or bad parenting? Why do people become conflicted? What are the types of conflict personalities? How to coexist with them?

In psychology, there scientific term– HCP (high conflict personality), which translates as Highly Conflict Personality (ON). The term was coined by Bill Eddy, one of the leading experts on conflict personalities in family law, a lawyer, mediator, psychotherapist, and best-selling author of books on conflict personalities. Today we will get acquainted with his understanding of the ON problem, as well as with the types of conflict personalities and how to deal with them.

Is conflict a diagnosis?

Bill Eddy argues that conflict is not mental illness. “When I created the term ON, it was not my intention to make it a diagnosis, such as a personality disorder. I just wanted to help people build professional and personal relationships with Highly Conflicted Individuals. I recommend that you put forward a working theory for yourself that this or that person is ON, and not share this information with either this person or with others. But at the same time, use the methods of building relations with the GDL.”

So who can be classified as ON, and what are the methods of building relationships with them?

Types of conflict personalities

Bill Eddy believes that fear makes people conflict. And this fear is of four types:

fear of being ignored, not noticed,
fear of being humiliated
fear of being abandoned
fear of being under pressure.

Fear of not being seen. “Some people feel like they will just disappear if they stop being the center of attention. They are afraid that they will not only become invisible, but that they will cease to exist. And this feeds their constant need for attention from others, which they achieve at any cost.

Fear of being humiliated. “The fear of being humiliated makes some people behave in such a way as to look more important and better than all mortals. They need to be one step above you. It is unacceptable for them to admit their mistake, that it was their fault that a failure occurred.

Fear of being abandoned. “People obsessed with this fear live like roller coaster. Either they are affectionate, gentle and caring, then they instantly become angry, offended and even cruel. For them, being abandoned is tantamount to death. And so they fight desperately not to die. They do everything to keep you. Unfortunately, the way they cling to relationships is what causes the object of their love to leave them. They create a self-fulfilling prophecy."

Fear of being under pressure. “The slogan of such people could be the following statement: “I will do this to you so that you do not do this to me.” Those who are afraid to fall under the influence of others, they themselves try to dominate. For them, life is survival of the fittest, and there are no other rules.”

But the main thing is that the primary source inappropriate behavior of all types of conflict personalities is fear. Inside every villain sits a frightened child. Don't forget about it :)

How to recognize ON?

According to Bill Eddy, you are most likely to experience ON when:

"problem" is not a problem. That is, a person makes the center of the dispute an issue that is not the key to solving the problem. He intuitively moves away from key issues because it is important for him not to solve the problem, but to preserve the conflict.
a person holds an all-or-nothing view. We all experience this distortion of thinking from time to time. But ON constantly see the world in black and white colors. For them, a person is either right or wrong, while they themselves are always in the “right” camp. Worse than that, them best friend can be instantly moved to a hostile camp.
one blames others. ON tend to blame everyone but themselves. It is unacceptable for them to realize that they can be partially responsible for the situation that has arisen.

How to build a relationship with ON?

To what type conflict personality neither treated man, there universal tricks effective communication with him. Let's get acquainted with this technique developed by Bill Eddy.

“Understanding their fear helps us respond appropriately to them. We can act with empathy. ON are in constant severe stress. Them emotional condition does not allow them to get out of the conflict, makes them behave destructively and painfully. They feel trapped."

Below are the most important techniques for building relationships with the GDL.

Try to calm them down

The ON is not able to function effectively and move forward while they are in an emotionally high state, so try in any way to reduce the intensity of their emotions.

“You should not immediately enter into an argument with them. You can express how you feel, but later. The phrase “You may be right” can be very effective, said sincerely. How to say these words sincerely? Well, firstly, maybe your interlocutor is really right about something. Everyone makes mistakes, including you.

Another effective reception to help the ON blow off steam is to ask them to tell you in detail what made them so angry.

Note that in both cases, we do not recognize their correctness, we simply allow this possibility and allow them to express their point of view. However, this effectively reduces the intensity of their emotions.”

Set boundaries

ON are waiting for you special treatment. If you make concessions to them, they will demand more and more. And they will hate you for not being able to give them everything they want. Therefore, it is important, while showing sympathy for them, to firmly keep a distance.

Check their statements in practice

It is very important not to enter into a direct dispute with the ON. Let reality deal with them. In the event of a direct dispute, the ON go on the attack, close down or go underground. All this only leads to an escalation of the conflict. Therefore, it is important to find ways to test their claims in practice. At the same time, we check them in two directions: the ON can deliberately lie, but they can also be sincerely mistaken.

We have reviewed Various types conflict personalities and ways to build effective relationships with them. We learned that the Highly Conflicted Personality is not a terminator monster, but a frightened man in extreme stress. And if we help the ON cope with his stress, help him test his delusions with reality, we will be able to cooperate effectively with such a person.

Conflict people destroy fragile harmony social environment. Most of us, as far as possible, try to avoid contact with them. Business leaders are no exception. When I, as a coach and evaluator, discuss with the employer the desired profile of a person (especially a candidate for top positions), the topic of conflict always sounds: “Check if he is not conflict”, “I’m afraid that he might not be able to get along with our team ". ToHow to quickly recognize a conflict person and what character traits can provoke conflicts in a work team?

« I have such a character»

Unfortunately, there are some personality traits that increase the risk of disagreements and disputes around their owners.

First of all, overconfidence . AT ignorance, overestimated self-esteem, undisguised doubt about the level of knowledge of others, disrespect for other people's opinions, if it does not coincide with one's own- all this causes irritation, hostility of employees and contributes to the emergence of conflicts.

Secondly, pronounced demonstrative character . Such people want to be in the spotlight and do not even stop at incorrect methods: they appropriate someone else's authorship, invent fables, show incomplete results, “push” others around in order to be seen, to get the title of the best. With their overly active, impudent behavior, they cause general rejection and opposition.

Thirdly, straightness . There are people who are accustomed to honestly express their opinions to others. negative attitude, openly point out shortcomings and mistakes, say impartial things. On the one hand, their motives may be the best. They consider themselves fighters for justice, undisguised truth, transparency of relations. On the other hand, they constantly destroy relations in the team with "frank" confessions, offend people, and provoke quarrels.

Fourth, increased criticality . There are people who have a tendency to criticize, scold, notice the imperfections, mistakes and weaknesses of others - almost a basic character trait. With rage, irritation or arrogant mockery, they constantly point out to others their shortcomings and blunders, while experiencing a feeling of self-importance, perfection and greatness. For some it becomes the only way maintaining high self-esteem- through criticism and humiliation of others. Moreover, these people like to blame others for the conflict and proclaim themselves innocent victims of other people's problems. Naturally, such behavior in the work team is not welcome and regularly leads to irreconcilable confrontation.

Fifth, inflexibility, "hardness", rigidity. People with such features cannot "go off the rails" in any way, cannot adapt their approach to someone else's reality, change initial plans, fit into the dynamic flow of team activities. They insist on their decisions - not so much from self-confidence, but from the inability to switch, the lack of speed and variability of their perception. Discontent accumulates around them, resulting in violent clarifications and disputes.

At sixth, gloominess of character . Misanthropes, even the most harmless and devoid of the pronounced features described above, are sometimes unbearable for those around them with their dull whining, bad mood and grumbling. For this reason, sooner or later they run the risk of ending up in a conflict zone.

"I'm always missing something..."

I also met managers who did not possess the negative qualities described above. They seemed to be accommodating, and delicate, and commanding. But they were tormented by constant dissatisfaction. A strong feeling that everything could be done better, more interesting; that further will be even better if you do not stop. Perfectionism multiplied by relentless achievement motivation. If such a person worked alone, he would hardly be frequent source conflicts. But if he becomes a leader, project manager or just an active member of the team, then "without fire and sword" is indispensable. I remember how one leader shared: “We have completed major project. Got excellent results. People were tired and finally relaxed a little. But I am haunted by the feeling that right now it is impossible to calm down. And I again demand new ideas from employees, active involvement in a new area of work for us. I disturb them, shake them up, involve them, demand them. In response, they argue with me, swear. They hate me. They think that I do not feel sorry for myself or others, that I just find fault. They call "behind the eyes" conflicting and indefatigable. But I can't do otherwise." Conflicts flare up as a result of the constant dissatisfaction of such people - with the quality of the result, the dynamics of progress, the speed of their own development and professional growth.

Surely there are still personality traits that contribute to the emergence of disagreements. I have described here those that I often encounter in my own consultative practice. By the way, I would like to note that natural emotionality does not always correlate with conflict. Sometimes conflict people are outwardly completely calm and cold-blooded.

All these features in one form or another manifest themselves in the course of an individual assessment. A multi-hour Executive Assessment (conducted by an experienced evaluator) allows a person to relax internally, removes habitual defenses, removes from the format of socially desirable, repeatable stories and reveals his true qualities. But something about conflict can be found inregular interview .

For example, you need to pay attention how often a person generally mentions others in a conversation about himself and his work. Conflict people may not mention others at all (as annoying factor), or mentioned too often (for the same reason).

Often the mention of team members, colleagues, business partners does not always indicate sociability or high people orientation. In this case, you need to determine exactly how a person talks about others. If he repeatedly accuses, convicts, condemns or uses an emotional vocabulary (“he drives me”, “I'm furious”) - this is definitely a reason to be wary, although sometimes criticism is really fair and cannot be unambiguous evidence of conflict.

Pay attention to how the person generally behaves in the interview. If he is overly self-confident throughout the conversation (at the beginning of the conversation, such a mood is just from excitement), often interrupts, argues, engages in outright self-promotion, demonstrates latent discontent or other negative emotions, frowns, easily switches to a defensive-aggressive position, then the likelihood that you have a conflicting personality increases markedly. However, in some rare cases, the interviewer himself can provoke such negative reactions: by his arrogance, too harsh and strange questions, dismissive or condescending position, so the candidate’s response “rebuff” is quite adequate.

There is also simple household test to identify conflict - "Let me disagree with you." The interviewer during the conversation should deliberately question any statement of his interlocutor. Preferably really controversial. For example: “You say that you prefer to be sincere with your subordinates, to share your feelings, but an experienced leader should always “keep face”, not show his real emotions. I think it's obvious." Such a seemingly natural mini-clash of opinions allows you to visually see the usual manner of human behavior. The form is important here. A conflict-prone person is more likely to attack in response, challenge someone else's point of view, fiercely defend his own, instead of trying to figure it out together. Sometimes during a conversation it is useful to make a few small provocations. The more significant the topic is for a person, the greater the likelihood of his inclusion, emotional intensity, desire to "get his own way".

What else is worth paying attention to in a conversation? Of course, on a biographical canvas. Sometimes it professional biography indicates to us the degree of conflict of its owner. Frequent job changes for such seemingly understandable reasons as “alien / unacceptable corporate culture”, “did not work well with management”, “conflict environment”, “competition instead of teamwork”, etc. can also be signs of conflict.

Of course, each of these factors does not always lead to accurate diagnosis"Homo conflictus" ("conflict person"). However, their combination allowsbuild reliable hypotheses and make more or less accurate predictions. And whether to invite notorious debaters, brawlers and absurd polemicists into your team - decide for yourself.

Certainly, in every working or educational team there is irreplaceable person that just wants to be replaced. He constantly provokes others into conflicts or behaves as if he is the center of the Earth. There is an unhealthy and difficult psychological atmosphere in the team, but as soon as this person disappears, everyone is happy, drinking tea together and having intimate conversations about life. Who is this despot, crippling the psyche of others? He is the same person, just, as they say, a conflict personality.

Conflict is my hobby

Among the bulk of people, psychologists distinguish between independent individuals who retain their beliefs without imposing them on the first comer. And conflicting personalities, for whom to impose their opinion on the first person they meet is a holy cause. Among individuals prone to conflict, one can very often meet. In their eyes, they are outrageously ideal, about the existence of their own negative qualities don't even realize. From life they need only one thing - to achieve success and prestige that others can see and appreciate. AT interpersonal relationships stingy enough to show any feelings.

It is natural for a conflicted person to aggravate the situation around him. Ordinary people it is difficult to endure the state of confrontation, so they strive to find a way out and achieve some kind of stability. It is much easier for a person in conflict to endure the state of confrontation. First, the conflict personality has a reduced level of sensitivity. She is not afraid of uncertainty, since she can quite realistically predict the outcome of the confrontation. Secondly, such people are characterized by inflated self-esteem, categorical judgments and a rigid system for evaluating others. A priori, such a person cannot have the thought that one can somehow try to get closer to others, find a compromise or adjust. Due to overly high self-esteem, it is quite natural to feel dissatisfied not only with oneself, but with all the people that are nearby, and a frozen value system simply does not make it possible to maintain flexibility and objectivity in the process of judgment. On this basis, a conflict arises.

If the situation in the team is calm, then the conflict person is in an extremely tense state. For such people, there is only one way out of the conflict - everyone agrees with their opinion. That is, they impose a solution to the problem. Very often this very imposition can be expressed in threats and intimidation. A conflicted personality can threaten with terrible violence, although it is unlikely to stoop to it. As practice shows, such people are quite cowardly and do not get into fights. Let their position be unfounded, but they will loudly declare it. Although one dignity for such people is still listed - they know how to admit their defeat. And not because they changed their minds, but only because they had already enjoyed the course of the struggle.

Thus, it can be summarized that a conflict personality is an individual who is characterized by an increased frequency of entering into conflicts.

Characteristics of a conflict personality

A conflict person can be seen in the team almost from the first minutes. He reacts very violently to the statements of colleagues that do not correspond to his concepts, and tries in every possible way to attract people to his side. In addition, if there are certain difficulties in communication in the team itself, then they will certainly become confrontations that are protracted. And even if the causes that gave rise to this conflict are eliminated, the situation will not change. A conflicted person will seek support and encourage conflict.

E. Romanova and L. Grebennikov give the following characteristics of a conflict personality:

Deviant behavior. That is, a person who loves conflicts behaves in a group in a completely different way than is customary in a particular socio-cultural environment. Everything he does is substandard.
Conflict is a quality of people with poor health. It is known from medical practice that children and adolescents with deviant behavior suffer from various vegetative-vascular diseases. The same applies to adults.

An increased level of conflict is characteristic of patients with neurosis and psychopathy. Sometimes these diagnoses can be hidden not only from an outside observer, but also from the eyes of the patient himself. But if the lover will quarrel long time fail in disputes, then he can earn a stroke or a heart attack. Still, quarrels, even for people with a hardened character, do not pass without a trace.

A bit of history

Conflicts and conflict personalities have always aroused interest in their study. In the 50s. last century, a discipline called conflictology appeared. This science existed before, but was called the sociology of conflicts, and only in the second half of the twentieth century was it able to take shape in independent discipline. A huge contribution to the development of this industry was made by the works of A. Koser and R. Dahrendorf. Thanks to the works of D. Rapoport, M. Sheriff, R. Doz, D. Scott, a new trend in conflictology has taken shape - the psychology of conflict. In the 70s. there was a need for practices that would teach Different practices and methods of solving begin to appear contentious issues in the most peaceful way.

It should be noted that initially the subject of the study of conflictology was the conflict as social phenomenon. Scientists described the types of confrontations and tried to find the most acceptable ways to resolve them. However, in recent times everyone in society more start conflicting personalities appear, which is hard not to notice.

Conflictologists mean by a conflict personality an individual with contradictions in consciousness and subconsciousness. V. Merlin notes that the most conflicting are people with a creative mindset and an active life position. There are many theories regarding the origin of this type of character in humans. For example, according to Freud's theory, a conflict personality is a collision of the human "I" with its instinctive, unconscious component "It". According to Freud's theory, there is also a third component of the personality "Over I", that is, the ideal to which a person aspires. Thus the individual constantly suffers from the clash of these three selves, and this can often result in external conflicts.

On the other hand, there was the teaching of K. Jung, who argued that human neurosis and the complexity of adapting to others are formed in childhood. The scientist emphasized that it is important to teach a child to understand and be aware of his thoughts and desires in order to solve problems. internal conflicts. According to him, his personality may appear if adults begin to deceive the child or stop paying attention to him. Then the child can draw incorrect conclusions, which will complicate the process of perceiving himself.

Another one interesting theory was voiced by Karen Horney. She also drew attention to the process of personality formation in childhood and introduced the concept of "basal anxiety" - a feeling of loneliness and complete isolation in a hostile world. This state occurs when childhood the child was unable to satisfy his need for security. As a result, "basic anxiety" becomes the basis on which a conflict personality is formed. Such people demand more attention to themselves and react sharply if something does not go the way they would like. They have a much higher need for love and recognition than other people. In a word, conflicting personalities are trying to find evidence of their significance, at least according to Karen Horney.

Types of conflict personalities

Diagnostics of a conflict personality shows that there are several types of such people. First, these are the six main types:

Demonstrative.
Rigid.
Ungovernable.
Ultra-precise.
Conflict-free.
Rationalist.

But since different researchers classify the behavioral characteristics of a conflict personality in different ways, there are such types as "screamers", "complainers", "know-it-alls", "rude" and others. It is worth considering in more detail which are most common in society. It is difficult to predict how communication with a conflict person will end, so you need to know how one conflict person differs from another.

Demonstrative and rigid conflict personality

The word "rigid" is translated as "inflexible". If we apply this term to a person, then we can say that this is a person with high self-esteem, not taking into account the opinions of others. conflict personality has the following characteristics:

Suspicious.
Has high self-esteem.
Requires constant confirmation of its own significance.
Almost does not react to changing situations or circumstances.
Always speaks directly, has no idea about diplomatic negotiations.
It is difficult for him to take into account someone else's point of view.
Expect respect from others.
Offended if someone is unkind to him.
Cannot criticize own actions.
Touchy and sensitive.

Most often, a conflicting personality of a rigid type is an egocentric, he lives according to a fairly simple principle: "if the facts do not suit you, so much the worse for the facts."

For a conflict, it is most important to be in the spotlight. It is vital for such a person to look good in the eyes of others, and besides, he treats others in the same way as others treat him. It should be noted that only in case of frivolous conflicts demonstrative personalities feel good, but if the conflict becomes deep and acute, then they will certainly step aside. Such people know how to adapt to situations, they are distinguished by emotional behavior, they avoid painstaking and systematic work, as for planning, they do it sporadically. Most often they act spontaneously or as the situation requires. This person often becomes the instigator of a dispute, but he does not consider himself to be such. He can inflate the conflict from scratch, so that at least in this way he can be seen.

Unmanaged and ultra-precise personality types

Based on the name, it can be understood that an uncontrollable conflict personality is particularly impulsive. Her behavior is difficult to predict, moreover, such people always behave defiantly and aggressively. They often break the rules social norms, are distinguished by exorbitantly high self-esteem and constantly require confirmation of their own significance. These people are not inclined to take responsibility and blame others for any of their failures. Unmanaged individuals cannot plan their activities; it is almost impossible for them to bring plans to life. It is difficult for them to compare their actions with goals and circumstances, moreover, such people do not know how to draw conclusions.

As for the ultra-precise personality type, such people are very scrupulous about their work, they are demanding of themselves and others. To those who work with them, it may even seem that they find fault with trifles. Such people are sensitive to details, have increased anxiety and react painfully to comments. Because of petty and ridiculous resentment, they can break off all relations with others. They tend to worry about failures and miscalculations, and as a result, they pay with insomnia and headaches. Such people are restrained in the manifestation of their emotions and inadequately assess the relationship in the group. It is also worth noting that conflict personalities of the ultra-precise type often suffer from an unsettled personal life.

Conflict-free and rational personality types

Can a conflict personality be conflict-free? This is indeed a paradox, one might even say the cognitive dissonance. The model of behavior of a conflict personality of a non-conflict type is situational in nature. Such people are distinguished by the absence of their own views and are easily influenced by others, because of which they can become a source of many troubles. The danger of this type lies in the fact that they do not expect a dirty trick from such people, they are kind and calm. And if such a person becomes the instigator of the conflict, then the team perceives such a situation objectively and impartially.

People of the conflict-free type do not have strong beliefs about assessments and opinions. They are easy to instill new idea. They are inconsistent in their behavior and suffer from internal contradictions. They are impressed by momentary success, such people do not know how to see prospects. They are dependent on the opinions of others, in particular leaders. If a dispute arises, they always look for a compromise. Such people do not even theoretically have willpower, and besides, they do not think about the consequences of their actions and inactions.

And the last is a rational, or prudent, type of personality. If you look at the behavior of a conflict personality rational type, it becomes obvious that the conflict for such a person is nothing more than a way to achieve own purpose. Such people can be an active party that is trying to unleash a conflict. They are subtle manipulators and shamelessly use manipulative skills in personal relationships. If they come into conflict, they always behave rationally. Before they take a side, they will calculate everything possible options, assess the strengths and positions of the parties and choose only the opponent with whom they will surely win. Such people have a well-developed technique for communicating in a heated argument. They may not show themselves for a long time, be executive and obedient employees, but when they see an opportunity to take a leadership position, they will show themselves at 110%.

Other types of conflict personalities. Ways to work with them

In addition to the main types, there are other types of conflict people. They do not have such a variety of characteristics, but they have bright expressive features of behavior. And if you have to interact with a conflict personality certain type, you need to be able to behave correctly so as not to bring a simple misunderstanding to a quarrel on a global scale.

« Rough Tank» will never pay attention to anything or anyone. No matter what stands in his way, he will always go ahead, and at such moments it is useless to talk to him. If you have to work with such a person, then the best tactic is not to catch his eye. If you have to meet, then you need to be calm both externally and internally. First you need to let him speak, let off steam, so to speak, and then he will pay attention to the interlocutor and his words.

« Grenade"- a calm and peaceful person, but at some point he turns into a monster in a second. This happens when a person begins to lose control over the situation, and there is a feeling of helplessness. If after the “explosion” you assure such a person that everything will work out, then he will calm down very quickly.

« know-it-all”, perhaps one of the most annoying types. Such people do not know how to listen, they constantly belittle the significance of the words spoken by the interlocutor, interrupt him and criticize him. They try by hook or by crook to put themselves on a pedestal, demonstrating intellectual superiority and competence. It is useless to argue with such people, it is best to agree with them, even if they speak curly heresy.

Pessimism, aggression, complaisance

« Pessimist” is another annoying type of conflict personality. But if he begins to criticize, then you do not need to dismiss his remarks, they can be constructive. It is worth minimizing the shortcomings that such a person spoke about and thanking him for his criticism. Then he will feel useful and, quite possibly, become an ally.

« Passive-aggressive"is one of the most complex types conflict personality. Such people do nothing openly, they will not criticize or resist. But if such a person has a specific goal, then it is likely that he will begin to achieve it with the help of other people. These people are secretive and cautious, bring them to clean water almost impossible. It is typical for them to constantly find excuses for unfulfilled tasks, to work carelessly. Sometimes such people want to be useful and begin to actively offer their help, although in reality they will do nothing. It is difficult for them to complete the assigned tasks, and the best tactic is not to be angry with such a person, because to call negative emotions is exactly what he is trying to achieve. Such people are strong as long as they remain unnoticed, and if you talk to someone in front of others, then he will be confused.

« Overly accommodating' also agrees with everything. He actively offers his help, but never does anything. And with all this, he firmly believes that no one appreciates his noble impulses. He wants to please everyone and tries to look useful. As a result, he is gaining so many obligations that he cannot cope with them. This person does not know how to say “no”, and in order to establish relations with him, you need to create an emotionally favorable atmosphere in the team.

"Sniper", "Leech", "Prosecutor", "Complainer"

« Sniper"Bursts into life with barbs and ridicule, he tries to cause trouble using intrigue, gossip and fraud. It is better not to react to such behavior in any way, and if you attack, then in the forehead.

« Leech". This type of conflict personality will never blame anyone, be rude or insult anyone. But after talking with him, you will definitely feel tired and in a bad mood. The only thing a person can do in a conversation is to say how they feel at the end of the conversation. It may be possible to find out the cause of poor health.

« Prosecutor"All the time criticizes his environment, and besides him - politicians, doctors, football players and others. He constantly comes up with new hard facts. And it is better not to stop him, otherwise you will have to listen to a flurry of irritation. These people just want to talk.

« Complainers are both realistic and paranoid. They vividly and colorfully describe all sorts of failures and there is no need to prove that they are wrong. These people also want to speak up. In order not to listen to complaints in the second round, you just need to rephrase in your own words everything that the interlocutor said, then he will understand that they are listening to him and calm down.

This is how people who love conflict can be so different. Such a person may clearly show his aggression and inclinations of a dictator, or may not show himself in any way, but at the same time become a catalyst for conflicts.

Conflict people destroy the fragile harmony of the social environment. Most of us, as far as possible, try to avoid contact with them. Business leaders are no exception. When I, as a coach and evaluator, discuss with the employer the desired profile of a person (especially a candidate for top positions), the topic of conflict always sounds: “Check if he is not conflict”, “I’m afraid that he might not be able to get along with our team ". ToHow to quickly recognize a conflict person and what character traits can provoke conflicts in a work team?

« I have such a character»

Unfortunately, there are some personality traits that increase the risk of disagreements and disputes around their owners.

Thirdly, straightness . There are people who are used to honestly expressing their negative attitude to others, openly pointing out shortcomings and mistakes, and saying unpleasant things. On the one hand, their motives may be the best. They consider themselves fighters for justice, undisguised truth, transparency of relations. On the other hand, they constantly destroy relations in the team with "frank" confessions, offend people, and provoke quarrels.

Fourth, increased criticality . There are people who have a tendency to criticize, scold, notice the imperfections, mistakes and weaknesses of others - almost a basic character trait. With rage, irritation or arrogant mockery, they constantly point out to others their shortcomings and mistakes, while experiencing a sense of their own significance, perfection and greatness. For some, this becomes the only way to maintain high self-esteem - through criticism and humiliation of others. Moreover, these people like to blame others for the conflict and proclaim themselves innocent victims of other people's problems. Naturally, such behavior in the work team is not welcome and regularly leads to irreconcilable confrontation.

Fifth, inflexibility, "hardness", rigidity. People with such features cannot "go off the rails" in any way, they cannot adapt their approach to someone else's reality, change their original plans, and fit into the dynamic flow of team activities. They insist on their decisions - not so much from self-confidence, but from the inability to switch, the lack of speed and variability of their perception. Discontent accumulates around them, resulting in violent clarifications and disputes.

"I'm always missing something..."

I also met managers who did not possess the negative qualities described above. They seemed to be accommodating, and delicate, and commanding. But they were tormented by constant dissatisfaction. A strong feeling that everything could be done better, more interesting; that further will be even better if you do not stop. Perfectionism multiplied by relentless achievement motivation. If such a person worked alone, he would hardly be a frequent source of conflict. But if he becomes a leader, project manager or just an active member of the team, then "without fire and sword" is indispensable. I remember how one leader shared: “We have completed a major project. We got great results. People were tired and finally relaxed a little. But I am haunted by the feeling that right now it is impossible to calm down. And I again demand new ideas from employees, active involvement in a new area of work for us. I disturb them, shake them up, involve them, demand them. In response, they argue with me, swear. They hate me. They think that I do not feel sorry for myself or others, that I just find fault. They call "behind the eyes" conflicting and indefatigable. But I can't do otherwise." Conflicts flare up as a result of the constant dissatisfaction of such people - with the quality of the result, the dynamics of progress, the speed of their own development and professional growth.

For example, you need to pay attention how often a person generally mentions others in a conversation about himself and his work. Conflicted people may not mention others at all (as an annoying factor), or they may mention too often (for the same reason).

Pay attention to how the person generally behaves in the interview. If he is overly self-confident throughout the conversation (at the beginning of the conversation, such a mood happens just from excitement), often interrupts, argues, engages in frank self-promotion, demonstrates latent discontent or other negative emotions, frowns, easily switches to a defensive-aggressive position, then the likelihood that you have a conflicting personality increases markedly. However, in some rare cases, the interviewer himself can provoke such negative reactions: by his arrogance, too harsh and strange questions, dismissive or condescending position, so the candidate’s response “rebuff” is quite adequate.

What else is worth paying attention to in a conversation? Of course, on a biographical canvas. Sometimes it is a professional biography that indicates to us the degree of conflict of its owner. Frequent job changes for such seemingly understandable reasons as “alien / unacceptable corporate culture”, “did not work well with management”, “conflict environment”, “competition instead of teamwork”, etc. can also be signs of conflict.

Of course, each of these factors does not always lead to an accurate diagnosis of "Homo conflictus" ("conflict person"). However, their combination allowsbuild reliable hypotheses and make more or less accurate predictions. And whether to invite notorious debaters, brawlers and absurd polemicists into your team - decide for yourself.

Is there anything in common between people in conflict? Psychotherapist Bill Eddy is sure that such people:

always know who is to blame;
do not allow compromises: all or nothing;
do not know how to manage emotions;
show signs of a personality disorder.

They are difficult to communicate with, but they are predictable. Here are five of the most common types of such people.

1. Antisocial type. Many of them are sociopaths and psychopaths. They are aggressive and not burdened with moral issues. Antisocial individuals are charming and devious, and can be very violent if they don't get what they want. Antisocials blame others for their problems and frustrations. They are prone to scams, are often involved in criminal schemes and are ready to betray anyone.

They punish those they think are guilty and expect them to make amends. They harm people without any remorse.

Attention: the asocial type does not include people who simply do not want to see anyone for several days.

2. Narcissistic type. Everyone has acquaintances who are not interested in anyone but themselves. But conflict narcissists focus on those they think are at fault. They constantly humiliate these people and often do it in public to prove their superiority. They don't know what empathy is.

At work, narcissists humiliate subordinates and curry favor with superiors. They use their position (bullying and harassment are their favorite methods) to demonstrate power and superiority.

3. Border type. Representatives of this type are absorbed in personal relationships. As soon as they suspect any of their close circle (children, parents, partners or colleagues) of insufficient loyalty, they become dangerous. They can harm both physically and emotionally, legally, financially and reputationally. Their mood changes with lightning speed: friendliness itself in the blink of an eye turns into an angry monster, and vice versa. Driving force such changes - the fear of being abandoned.

It is these people who most often use domestic violence, abandon children and make false accusations.

4. Paranoid type. Such people suspect everyone in a row, believe that everyone has conspired and interfere with them. career growth, friendly and family relations and generally wish them harm. They can hatch a plan of revenge for years, and then punish the “guilty one”.

Conflict paranoids feel they are being treated unfairly at work. Most lawsuits against colleagues are the work of representatives of this type.

5. Theatrical type. Such individuals tend to attribute exaggerated and unnatural reactions to those who are seen as guilty. So they try to hurt the accused more painfully and manipulate them. Theater people tend to be the center of attention and attack those who are not too interested in them. They involve those around them in squabbles and intrigues and constantly complain, blame and humiliate their victims in front of others.