What is real help? Whether mercy is needed is everyone's decision. Do you need empathy and compassion in life?

The feeling of compassion, sympathy or empathy is internal state. It's because of other people's problems. Undoubtedly, empathy is one of the best human qualities. If you are able to empathize with others, then you understand the feelings of other people. This helps build strong relationships. It is important for every person to realize that he is supported.

What is compassion and empathy

But it is important to understand what compassion and empathy are. These feelings make a person better. Often these concepts are used in the form of synonymous words, it is believed that these are the same emotions.

If you delve into these words, then sympathy is the joint experience of some emotions, and compassion is a common suffering due to something. Both terms mean that a person passes along with another person his joy and sorrow, misfortune. Both feelings are caused by a situation where pity and support are needed. But these are the ones that are required to be manifested if they are truly needed.

Compassion and empathy are similar emotions, but the main difference lies in their manifestation.

You can often hear that in modern world only believers or poor people can sympathize and sympathize, and the rich do not think about anyone if this does not contribute to their well-being. There is an opinion that today for one truly sympathetic person there are 1000 those who envy others. The reason for this opinion is the nature of the person himself. Indifferent people cannot experience such feelings.

AT everyday life we show these emotions in specific situations. For example, one will give to the one who asks, and the other will pass by. The greatest compassion is shown by people in relation to their elderly parents, sick children, friends.

Often, when showing compassion, we can offend a person who does not need pity. Besides, true compassion does harm. If the doctor sympathizes with the patient, worries too much, then he himself becomes ill. Therefore, he needs only to sympathize, but not to sympathize.

To show empathy is to listen to the interlocutor, to understand his emotions. To do this, they will have to pass through themselves. Sincerely sympathetic people are upset and worried in the same way as the one who needs this sympathy. This instills faith in a person and helps him forget his worries. Compassion makes people kind.

Why does a person need compassion?

But why do we need compassion and sympathy? If you emotional personality, and this feeling is too manifested in you, then you noticed behind yourself that it is difficult for you to feel the suffering of others. Someone else's negative energy wraps around you, you stop feeling the joy of life. Compassion has a depressing effect, takes away strength.

Don't get too caught up in other people's suffering. It is important to be able to stop and not harm yourself with other people's misfortunes.

In addition, if you constantly sympathize with one person, then this harms both her and you. Constant compassion causes you to unintentionally prevent the realization of responsibility for own actions suffering person. Due to constant sympathy, the person feels his weakness, the need for outside help. Such people are not able to live their own independent life They always need outside support.

Therefore, it is important not only to be able to empathize, but also to feel the border when you need to protect yourself from other people's emotions. Measure is needed in everything.

How to empathize with a person

In order not to harm yourself, you need to know how to properly empathize with a person:

it is required to understand who causes such a feeling - relatives or everyone around? From whom does it come? When you feel that you are taking other people's experiences too closely, . Don't get caught up in other people's problems. Support the person, convince him that he is not alone. But he needs to find a solution for the situation himself;
and return to its original state when you realize that you are plunging into other people's problems. Break off the conversation until you feel that you are able to understand the situation normally. Remember that all your senses affect the body. For this reason, for normal state it is important to experience the body and soul to the maximum;

be able to move from unconscious sympathy to conscious action in a timely manner. Whenever you try to get rid of compassion for others, you will feel guilty. But do not consider yourself a person devoid of compassion. For support, it is not necessary to pass negative energy through yourself. Listen, but don't worry too much. Learn to protect yourself from negativity and excessive empathy.

Of course it's important to stay kind person. We all have a responsibility to help our friends and family. But you can do it without hurting yourself. It is important to maintain the balance of your own body in order to feel personal happiness.

Teaching Empathy and Compassion in Children

It is worth noting that with early childhood serious attention must be paid to the education of compassion and sympathy in children. A child who is not able to show such emotions grows up, and sometimes they become a true misfortune of their parents and themselves.

The ability to sympathize and sympathize with others is only in those children whose parents show similar example with their behaviour. In order for the baby to take care and empathize with others when they have problems, it is necessary to early age protect him from punishment.

It is possible to bring up such qualities in children only own example. It is important for parents to show the child how to behave.

If mom and dad show mutual courtesy, and are also polite with other people, show care, then the baby will get used to behaving in the same way. The researchers found that in the family, men are more capable of experiencing empathy and compassion. But after all, we are used to believing that they are stronger, therefore they show less feelings. When a woman feels bad, a man helps, not just sympathizing, but showing compassion and care. He is ready to help his beloved around the clock.

As for women, they are able to experience sympathy for a short period of time. This is because when a man is unwell, a woman, seeing his emotions, first feels compassion. But then, noticing how he tries to seem strong, the woman's compassion disappears.

Even if men express complaints about life, they are not ready for the compassion of others. When showing sympathy for men, there is a chance to catch their pride, because all representatives of the stronger sex are afraid to seem weak.

What to guide in life

In some situations, it is difficult to understand how to be guided in life - the mind or the heart. There is no single correct answer. Every situation requires special approach. Both the heart and the mind can make mistakes.

It is necessary to conduct a logical analysis of the situation, to take important decisions, given the opinion of reason and knowledge. Every day we all use experience and knowledge in practice, we use reason. Most decisions come to be made using the dictates of the mind, because some things in life are simply inappropriate. You don't walk across the road the way you want to, without following the rules. It will cause disaster sooner or later. Applying knowledge, we are convinced of safety, and only then we decide what to do.

But if it's a matter of own emotions, desires, then the mind becomes an interfering element. In matters of the heart, you often have to live with your heart, turning off logic. Often a person is not able to do something because he is afraid of the consequences. But in such a situation, it is better to believe the call of the heart, and not the mind, so as not to regret in the future.

Fears and inability to believe in yourself are created by the mind, they are based on accumulated experience. If you have experienced this kind of fear before, when you make a decision today, you will feel fear and anxiety. This will cause indecision. For this reason, it is important to set goals for yourself, listen to your heart and act on its promptings.

In the modern world, few people think about what empathy is. The rhythm of life, stress, unstable economic situation and other troubles in life make a person think about himself and his well-being. Similar situation can lead to the decomposition of society and the destruction of traditional foundations, so we must not forget about such human qualities.

Empathy - what is it?

Sympathy is one of the most important, expressing a feeling of concern about a situation or situation. What is sympathy for? It allows a person to understand other people's emotions and remain human. Such a state can be based on the following principles:

attachments;
understanding;
respect.

Often, these emotions express empathy for another person. They can be expressed in different ways:

necessary or gentle words;
encouraging actions;
physical or material assistance.

The ability to sympathize is good, it is important to do it on time and not be intrusive, since sometimes tense situations arise in which this “gesture” will be superfluous and it is highly likely that sympathy will cause psychological damage to the individual. Therefore, it is so important to sincerely and at the appropriate moment to manifest the emotional state in question.

How is empathy different from compassion?

Understanding what empathy and compassion are will be useful for the development of character and personality. These are similar concepts that express a feeling of empathy for another person. Their difference lies in the fact that sympathy allows not only to understand the situation, but also to feel the emotions of another. Empathy and Compassion in equally must be present in the life of society, otherwise it will become callous and indifferent to the outside world.

Compassion vs Sympathy - What's the difference?

Another similar concept is pity. It manifests itself in the form of the same empathy, but without emotional coloring without experiencing the same emotions and feelings. Sometimes a feeling of pity is not accompanied by a desire to participate in a person's problem, but is expressed only with kind, encouraging words. In most cases, when expressing pity, a person conveys his feelings towards another, and does not experience others. Sympathy and pity are generally similar in meaning, but have different connotations.

Compassion - is it good or bad?

Many people wonder, do people need empathy? Responses to this question maybe two, and each of them has its own explanation:

Sympathy is necessary because it strengthens social connections in society, allows people to remain human and show their emotions. By sympathizing, we show that a person is not indifferent to us.
If a person is upset, then empathy can further shatter him. state of mind, enhance the manifestation negative emotions and make the situation worse. AT this case sympathy would be redundant.

From the responses under consideration, we can conclude that empathy is necessary at certain points depending on the situation and emotional state the person to whom it is directed. It is important not to overdo it and know when the manifestation of such an emotional state would be appropriate in order to truly help a person, and not vice versa, aggravate the situation.

Do you need empathy and compassion in life?

very complex, a bit philosophical question Do people need empathy and compassion? Most people are likely to say what is needed. Such qualities are a manifestation of caring, not indifferent attitude. It is important to convey them to children in their upbringing and personality formation. Constantly receiving a portion of emotions of compassion and sympathy, a person can demand them more and more often - he will get used to or will wait permanent solution their problems. He can manipulate his state to achieve goals. Therefore, it is not in vain that the expression “everything is good in moderation” exists.

How to learn to empathize?

The answer to the question of how to express empathy will depend on the specific situation. It is important to be able to sympathize correctly and in a timely manner. A person needs to be shown that they understood him, shared his experiences, but at the same time gave strength to get out of this situation. Often required:

For a fuller and deeper understanding of the meaning this term You can refer to some books, both for adults and children. For example:

Author's book Ruth Minshull "How to Choose Your People" tells about what you can pay attention to when meeting people and how to choose those who can later be called "ours". The book has separate chapter dedicated to the concept of empathy.
Alex Cabrera "Fairies Talk About Empathy"- a great book that gives the opportunity to convey the meaning to the child this concept and teach him to show empathy at the right moments.

Books about empathy and compassion allow people to become more open and kind, teach children to be caring in some situations. By periodically reminding yourself what empathy is, and that sometimes you can’t do without it, you can make the world a better place. The manifestation of such a feeling, along with compassion and mutual assistance, leads to the cohesion of society, the establishment of social relations within it, maintaining traditions and linking generations. This is important for the development of a full-fledged, mature, stable society.

Sympathy is the ability of a person to feel the sadness, suffering, sadness of others, to live the grief that other people experience. The ability to sympathize with someone else's grief helps a person to be more pleasant to communicate and build relationships with others. A sympathetic person knows how to provide support, encourage, reassure, and this at the same time becomes an incentive for someone to start looking for a solution to the problem that has arisen. If an individual is characterized by sympathy and compassion, it is easy to establish contact with him, such people usually do not evaluate or criticize actions or beliefs, these people are simply ready to devote some of their time and attention to you in the necessary period of life.

What is empathy

We learn empathy from infancy, most often by copying the behavior of parents and close relatives. It is very important to show your child ways to express sympathy. If the kid is used to being sympathized and supported after any failure, similarly, he will show himself as an adult.

Buddhism reveals the phenomenon of sympathy and compassion as a thirst to free others from suffering. Buddhists believe that the human essence is compassion, love and kindness. To express sympathy, humanity also needs wisdom.

An interesting perspective on empathy was described by David Myers in his work “ Social Psychology', where the author gives psychological characteristics sympathy. Any exciting situation in someone's life possibly awakens in our so-called.

Myers took as a basis three factors of sympathetic expression of feelings. First, reacting with sympathy to the depressed state of mind of the individual, our psyche unconsciously reduces its distress to nothing and removes inner feeling guilt. Myers called it veiled. Secondly, by empathizing, we can, distracting from our own experiences, switch to the experiences of others. Thirdly, generally accepted rules push us to express sympathy. Rules are social expectations that dictate specific behavior and emotional reaction. You can describe it as tact, good manners and humanity.

The ability to sympathize with others is a key trait in the character of a practicing psychologist. Carl Rogers believed that without this quality, the work of a psychologist would be impossible. He describes that empathy (compassion, empathy) is a fundamental trait of the therapist in the therapeutic relationship with the patient, and a basic requirement for personal change in the client himself. Rogers' characterization of empathy was as follows: the phenomenon is a complex process, including awareness of the role, experiences and principles of the individual. However, one must be aware that this is not a primitive recognition of a person's experiences, as well as the ability to timely go beyond the boundaries of the situation that has arisen and evaluate it from a new angle.

Empathy and compassion are very often used interchangeably, but the difference in these terms can be described as follows: compassion is a feeling of sadness, and sympathy is a state of mind that can bring a feeling of joy to life.

What is more important sympathy or real help?

Have you ever wondered how to help close person? Listen and provide moral support, or throw all your resources into resolving the complexity? It is impossible to give a categorical answer to this question, you should start from the prevailing circumstances, conditions and the person who turned to you. For one financial problem this is only a temporary difficulty, for another a complete disaster! Therefore, when providing support, it is necessary to take into account the characteristics and characteristics of a person. With regard to your participation directly, there are big risks here, solving problems for loved ones, you place obligations for their lives on your personal account. Subsequently, he will lose the incentive to solve on his own, and at the first difficulties he will simply look for someone else to find a solution instead of him. Also, your sincere help will not be appreciated, and as a result, you will have more claims and reproaches than the gratitude that you deserve. Empathy is a little different. When a person has spoken, shared with you the moments that disturbed or upset him, felt that he is understood and supported, he has resources for further movement. Also, having discussed the problem with loved ones, you can find a solution where it was not even considered before. But if we get too immersed in the problems of others, then we begin to live someone else's life, while devaluing our own. The main thing is to realize that empathy and compassion are wonderful, but how to deal with our own questions? Don't lose sight of the fact that everyone is responsible for the outcome decisions taken and deeds. Protect yourself from the burden of other people's problems.

Do not rush to improve someone else's life, listen, help a person not to keep everything in himself, because sometimes even silent participation is enough to help.

Should You Learn Empathy?

Empathy and compassion border on such human features like - responsiveness, empathy and other positive qualities that have an impact on the formation of a full-fledged personality. Everyone wants to see people capable of kind, selfless and sincere deeds, can this be without sympathy? From childhood, we learn to respect elders, help our parents, we are taught that we need to protect and take care of weak animals, without sympathy it is impossible to do all this.

Try to explain to the child that everyone around feels pain and resentment, discuss your feelings, you can assign a color to each feeling together with the child, it will be interesting for both the baby and you. If disagreements arise, it is worth discussing why this happens and what is going through the participants. parental home should be filled with an atmosphere of peace and tranquility. If the child showed to you or others, ask what exactly caused it, how it is possible to change this situation. A child who has been instilled with sympathy and compassion from childhood will not treat animals roughly, offend younger ones, and generally prove his case with his fists. Explain to the child that the expression of sympathy is not a sign of weakness, but an indicator of the right upbringing. If you show how you can express sympathy, then in the future the baby, first of all, will take care of the feelings of others, and will look for a way out without resorting to. Books can be a great way to instill compassion and empathy in a child. In all fairy tales there are characters who experience the whole gamut of emotions: anger, compassion and sympathy. Going on a journey with your favorite characters, the child will learn to show kindness. All children from birth are filled with love for the world, and the task of parents is to develop positive attitude further, and not let it be replaced by anger and aggression.

Growing up, we are faced with cruelty, which is explained by the fact that individual people not empathy. It is difficult to contact people of this nature, they are rude, selfish and do not spare the feelings of others. Very often, the root of the problem goes back to childhood, they did not have an example of a parent who would show how to express sympathy (in many cases, such people are clamped and emotionally closed). Such individuals are avoided and tried to keep at a distance. But you can help deal with it by showing that empathy and compassion are the norm. The repressed accumulate within us and can be harmful to our health. To achieve peace of mind, peace and harmony with yourself and the world, do not be afraid to show your emotions. Sympathize with the troubles and failures of loved ones, support them and motivate them to keep moving only forward, not letting the bad take over, help people open their lives to all the good that lies ahead!

Some time ago, as part of a volunteer group, I happened to attend a boarding school in our city of Obninsk. Then I made for myself important discovery. If before it seemed to me that best help orphans and boarding school students are monetary donations, renovation of rooms and classes, valuable gifts, but now I believe that the best gift to a child is the time and attention given to him. No, I do not want to say that you do not need to help financially. It is necessary, because first of all, a person must satisfy the needs for food, clothing, warmth and comfortable conditions residence. But still, mental needs are no less important, which many people forget about.

Visiting the boarding school, I repeatedly noticed how indifferent children are to donated toys, many of them do not want to participate in games and entertainment events. And it seemed to us that they only needed it! But what is interesting: they all fell madly in love with face painting. At first I thought that they just like beautiful and bright patterns on the skin. And, perhaps, this was the first awakening in girls of a sense of femininity, which manifested itself in a craving for a kind of “make-up” and a desire to adorn themselves. But the boys showed no less interest in face painting, and I realized that my first thought was wrong. I wanted to unravel the mystery of children's love for this type of entertainment. I began to observe them, and this is what I noticed.

When one of us drew cats and butterflies on the faces of the guys, this was our only opportunity to talk heart to heart. Without the frenzy of games, running around, screaming and turmoil. I asked the guys about their life, studies, preferences in music, films and books. And the children were happy to talk. In those few minutes, a special connection was established between us: they calmed down, their gaze became deep, in their eyes I guessed gratitude and some kind of touching tenderness. It seemed to me that at these moments, in addition to external, physical contact, spiritual contact was also established between us, for which they thanked me with their special views. I realized that these little people are vitally lacking attention, participation, sincere spiritual communication. And it was to them that they preferred all games and toys. And, perhaps, the guys fell in love with our face painting sessions not so much for the beautiful drawings, but for the opportunity to feel interesting and needed by someone.

Another incident got me thinking. When I found out about the beginning of the war in the Donbass, I wrote to an ex-girlfriend who stayed there. She offered help, invited me to visit her in order to wait out the period of shelling. But my friend did not come, she refused my help, although she thanked me. For a long time, a feeling of annoyance remained in my soul: I wanted to help, but nothing came of it. My help was indispensable. True, the relationship with a friend improved.

Once, after two or three years, during one of our correspondence, a friend said that she still remembers my offer of help with tears of gratitude. Then, when she was alone with her misfortune, forgotten by everyone and needed by no one (after all, according to her, even relatives from neighboring countries stopped answering for fear that they would have to help), an unexpected letter from a distant, already almost forgotten friend, had strong support. It turned her whole peace of mind. For a man alone in his misfortune, this proposal became a ray of light that illuminated life - difficult, dangerous, terrible life! There was no real help, in the usual sense, from my side, but those few words that I wrote in right moment did a great job! They helped a person survive terrible time without losing hope, faith in people, with gratitude in my heart!..

As a child, I remembered a phrase I heard somewhere: if you want to help, help with deed. Anything else doesn't seem to help. But life convinces me that good word, and a sympathetic look and a reassuring smile in certain cases can be no less important. Even the simple fact of sincere compassion is also real help someone, because in this way we share someone else's pain and make someone's burden lighter. And sometimes, by showing interest in a person’s personality or life, we help him feel better, more confident, more significant.

I no longer look forward to great things. Now I know that any good impulse coming from a pure heart is the real help. You just need to open it - the heart - to meet people. This is the biggest and most important thing we can do for them...

Member of the international creative competition"Real Help"

I work as an accountant, but I really like to read (mainly classics) and write myself. I study English and Spanish. I dream of visiting Spain. I am interested in psychology. I love nature, growing vegetables and flowers in the country. I love all animals without exception. And, of course, I love to help. Small and elderly, four-legged and feathered - all defenseless, offended, sick and lonely.

My life motto is kindness will save the world!

You can also take part in the competition, we are waiting for your stories by e-mail: This adress Email protected from spambots. You must have JavaScript enabled to view.

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The servant came out and addressed Vidura, “O Kshatri, enter inner chambers wise king. The king said that he would never stop wanting to see you.”

Comment:

Sage Vidura continues to bring light to relationships and today's lesson is that compassion is paramount before any help. People have always needed, need and will need other people, not money, material things and so on.

Sympathy or help?

When you notice that a person needs help, this does not mean that you need to immediately go to the wallet for donations or use your connections. The first thing to do is to sympathize with the person, perhaps this is the most valuable thing you can do in the current situation. Sympathy means that you are not indifferent and if they turn to you, you are ready to help to the best of your ability.

If a person immediately rushes to help, without showing sympathy and participation, it smacks of a cheap ransom from unexpected emotions. Now the Internet and public institutions are filled with various charity in the style of “Sick a little boy help in any way you can!” “The girl is not enough for the operation, we will all chip in together!” etc. I believe that such charity kills all compassion in people, and I will explain why.

Compassion means that you see and feel the emotions and experiences of a person and sympathize with him live. When you see a pitiful photo, you cannot experience sympathy and compassion in principle, because there is neither this child, nor his parents, nor doctors, but in general there is no one in front of you. An employee is standing in front of you. public organization which has nothing to do with what happened. Why then do people donate and participate in this kind of charity?

Because they are afraid that they will have to go to this baby in the hospital, communicate with his parents, doctors. Therefore, in order not to come into contact with discomfort, people pay off these emotions and experiences, apparently not needed, unwanted in their lives. Compassion is indeed strong people, and the weak just shake the money out of the wallets of a cunning charitable organization.

Who prevents these good Samaritans from finding out the address where people who need help are located and go to visit them, talk with them, provide their vest for their tears, give the same money, but directly into the hands of a person in need. In 90% of cases, people's answer is obvious, “No time”, “It's easier for me to do this”, “Let go with your questions”. People donate thousands to anonymous charitable boxes and don't know the name of their retired neighbor or can't properly communicate with their parents. In my opinion, this is total madness and hypocrisy.

So what is more important, compassion or help? The answer sounds like this sympathy comes first. If you have shown sympathy, you have already helped and will help even more in the future. But if you just help, then this is a ransom, so as not to show sympathy and compassion. Be strong and sincere towards yourself. If you have the strength and desire to help people, be compassionate and help personally, because people care about you, not your means, they need your support.

Power of Vidura

When the servant came to Vidura, Vidura could simply dictate the letter “They say everything will be fine dear king! Don't drift!" and calmly stay at home to drink herbal teas. But Vidura could not show such indifference to a dear person. He immediately left the house and went to the king, who would inevitably lose his position in a matter of hours, in order to show sympathy and help with wise advice.

Vidura could not respond at all to the request of the king, because the king has many other advisers and assistants, but still found the strength and courage to meet the king and hear his emotions.

When a person periodically pays off in order to feel the pain of other people, over time, the psyche of such a person is exhausted and atrophies. Such a person turns into a dead man who walks, breathes, but is completely unable to live a full life.

Clearly evaluate your strengths and abilities in a relationship. If you are ready to understand the suffering of others, do it, and if not, you should not deceive yourself and others. Just accumulate opportunities and over time, the strength to communicate will appear. To be helpful, one must be sensitive to people's needs.