How to love yourself - advice from a psychologist. How to learn to love yourself - praise

What is self-love? Often we all understand that loving ourselves is incredibly important. And at the same time incredibly difficult. And probably the first thing we must do in our lives is to truly love ourselves, learn to truly respect and accept ourselves.

But when it comes to practice, it arises big question: “What does it mean to love yourself?”

Questions that you will find answers to by reading this article.

How to truly love yourself?
How to develop self-love?
Is it possible to force yourself to love yourself?
How to learn to accept yourself for who you are?
What ways are there to do this?

The main thing is not to expect this to happen quickly. The process of accepting yourself and developing feelings of love will take some time. Understand that if you have lived long enough without self-love, then expecting it to happen overnight or a week would be naive.

However, you will be able to notice the results of working on yourself from the very first days. Once you make this decision - that you want to love yourself, that you want to learn how to love yourself, and take concrete action - you will notice incredible changes. These will be changes in your life, in the people around you, these will be.

Self-love is a path that everyone should take.

This is the most main path in our lives. Because without self-love, without a feeling of unity with yourself, without deep and sincere respect for yourself and your actions, without complete acceptance of yourself as an individual, you will not have anything worthwhile in this life - it will not work out personal life, success will not come and there will be no happiness.

Self-love is the foundation, it is the solid foundation on which the building of our entire life is built. And so that it never collapses or even tilts, we need to learn to experience this divine feeling towards ourselves.

Loving yourself does not mean being selfish. Also, do not confuse self-love with narcissism, these are completely different things. In the first case we're talking about about deep acceptance of oneself as an individual, in the other – empty narcissism and putting one’s Ego on display.

How to love yourself. 5 steps towards yourself

Proposed generation methods positive attitude to yourself are time-tested and very effective. By doing this step by step instructions, you can regain this feeling you once lost. Feelings of love, self-respect and self-acceptance.

Step 1: Be kind to yourself.

This means not reproaching yourself for no reason, not scolding over trifles, not giving yourself negative epithets - “you’re so ugly, you weigh too much, you have crooked legs, you’re stupid,” etc.

Be kind to yourself! Never reproach yourself for your past mistakes. They are not done by those who do nothing at all. The very fact of admitting and understanding that you were wrong is already a huge plus in your favor! Many never admit their mistakes. Just forgive yourself and move on, don't dwell on it. Learn from your mistakes, and don't use them as a whip to beat yourself up with.

Sometimes we don’t forgive ourselves for such stupid things that it’s hard to even believe it. We cannot forgive ourselves for protruding ears, for extra pounds, for freckles on the face or for having too thin or thick hair.

This is all complete nonsense! From now on we say only good words to ourselves!

Our subconscious does not have a sense of humor; it does not understand when we are joking and when we are serious. It is designed in such a way that it takes everything at face value.

Remember that when you say “bad words” to yourself like “I’m scary, I’m clumsy, I’m lazy, I’m fat,” even if you don’t really think so, then the unconscious in you writes all this down and stores it in memory cells and will act accordingly.

The word is not a sparrow, if it flies out you won’t catch it

Train yourself to say “STOP!” whenever you catch yourself with negative thoughts or words addressed to you. We often scold ourselves in front of other people, unconsciously humiliating ourselves in other people's eyes. Give up this bad habit once and for all! - thereby you will take a huge step towards yourself, towards the ideal and loving relationships with himself.

Be kind to yourself! Become yourself best friend! Become your most valuable person. You are your treasure! You are the best thing in your life. Go to the mirror more often, talk to yourself, call yourself by name, as well as in kind words, praise and encourage yourself!

Step 2: Do some spring cleaning in your relationship.

Free your world from negative people. Clear your social circle of those with whom you are uncomfortable and who evoke negative emotions in you.

It doesn't happen overnight and it's not easy to do. But just set this goal for yourself, and you will definitely achieve it.

For example, you were invited to a party. You don’t like to sit alone at home, but at the same time, you don’t want to communicate with other people. Don't force yourself! Refuse to meet those with whom communication destroys you, who does not bring joy to your life, who takes away your strength and vital energy, who sets you up for negativity.

It's like slow suicide! It is much more valuable to be in the company of yourself than to spend time in such an environment. It is better to remain alone all your life than to communicate with such specimens.

There are always people around us who suppress us and there are those around whom we literally blossom and are filled with energy. The choice is always yours.

Don’t be afraid to change your social circle, remember that a holy place is never empty. And instead of “unnecessary ballast”, those with whom you have general views, interests and one worldview. Yes, this will not happen immediately, but it will DEFINITELY happen. Gradually the living and open people“without a stone in your bosom”, without hidden envy or anger.

Try to follow one golden rule when communicating with people:

If you sincerely like a person, get out of your head and forget about all the obstacles and your differences, be it social status or something else. Because this is communication at the level of your Souls, and this is worth a lot.

If you don’t like someone with all your heart, refuse to communicate with him, no matter what benefits or advantages this promises you.

Step 3. Don't do what you're not passionate about

You say, why not do it if necessary? You have to get up early for work, you have to do the cleaning, laundry and cooking. We need to take our son to kindergarten and check your daughter’s lessons. And I don’t really want to do all this.

Here we are talking about something completely different. All these are everyday, routine tasks and responsibilities from which we cannot escape. And there are things that go against our inner beliefs, contrary to our worldview and mentality. These are the circumstances under which we are forced to compromise our principles.

It is these actions and deeds that lower our self-esteem and self-respect, destroy our authority in own eyes. They are the reason for self-dislike and loss of friendly relations with one’s personality.

All of these situations are basically related to the fact that we do something we don’t like out of fear of upsetting or offending the person.

We go where we don’t want so as not to offend the person who invited us, we buy things we don’t need so as not to upset the seller, we accept offers that we cannot refuse because we do not want to spoil the relationship.

It is very important to remember that every time you overstep yourself and literally force yourself to do something that you do not like, you are causing irreparable harm to yourself and your relationships. Thus, you show deep disrespect and dislike for yourself, for your Inner Self.

You must put an end to this. You need to learn to say NO. You need to learn how to refuse tactfully. Calmly, without feeling guilty, say: “I’m sorry, but I have other plans for today.”

Give yourself the luxury of doing what you want! And over time, this will become your good habit and norm of behavior.

Don't be afraid to offend other people. If they are offended, you have absolutely nothing to do with it, it is their problem.

Your job is to respect your personal boundaries and stay TRUE TO YOURSELF.

Step 4: Love your body

Think about how much you accept your body? How able are you to love and 100% accept yourself for who you are? Accept and love your age, your shape, your figure, your weight, your habits and your character.

Loving your body is especially important for women. Most of us grew up with the idea that our body is something imperfect and unfinished. This is something we need to improve, fix, something we need to constantly work on and bring to perfection.

And this, in fact, is not the end. As soon as we get rid of extra pounds, they are replaced by cellulite, wrinkles or gray hair.

In the process of endless improvement, we forget one fundamental thing - our body is given to us for pleasure. This is a gift and a gift from the Almighty! You need to take care of your body and love it.

Very soon you will be able to see for yourself that if you love your body, if you completely trust it (that is, do not perceive it as a traitor who betrays your age, gets sick at the wrong time and secretly puts on kilograms), when you consider the body your ally and most close creature for you, you will see that your body comes to meet you halfway and begins to reciprocate.

Your health will change before your eyes, the problem is excess weight either it will disappear completely, or it will cease to be an eternal thorn for you.

We must learn to calmly accept the fact that inevitable changes occur to our body over the years. We are all born to go through the stages of youth, maturity and decay. And by looking for signs of aging, we steal our moments of happiness.

Changes in our body are inevitable, and we have a choice - either to suffer endlessly about this with each passing year, or to choose to enjoy the moments that we have now.

Love your wrinkles - they are a sign that your body is ALIVE!

You won't believe how much our body craves love! How much gratitude and care it expects from you!

Love your body, take care of it, be grateful to it and it will definitely reciprocate your feelings!

Step 5. Learn to respect yourself

Until we begin to love ourselves, until we live in comfort with ourselves, until we learn to respect ourselves, we will not be able to truly open up and enjoy life. It is impossible to love yourself without self-esteem.

The ability to respect yourself as an individual, the ability to stand up for yourself and show that you are worthy of respect is very important condition on the path to self-love. Self-esteem is an integral part of a harmonious sense of self. No one will ever treat us with respect until we learn to do the same to ourselves.

There are situations when you were rude or treated rudely and impolitely. And many people do not feel they have the right to stand up for themselves with dignity. Without snapping back, without making a fuss or starting a scandal.

We are simply not taught this. We are accustomed to silently swallowing our offense, and then suffering for a long time and torturing ourselves with remorse over the fact that we were unable to respond adequately.

It’s just that no one taught us this. “Who are you? Don’t you dare contradict me!” - we hear from our parents since childhood. Often, even at school, teachers treat us disrespectfully, shifting their rejection of themselves onto us. While we are little, we get used to the fact that we are not allowed to rebuff adults.

Then we ourselves become adults, but our psyche remains in the same age category - at the level of small children.

And every time we have to stand up for ourselves and show feeling self-esteem, the same fear from our childhood creeps to the surface of consciousness. And the internal program, which psychologists call “chew, swallow and digest,” comes into play. This is especially true for those who were youngest child in a family or grew up in an authoritarian family.

We are simply accustomed to experiencing emotions of pain, humiliation, inner anger, aggression and resentment from the inability to stand up for ourselves. And yet, we ourselves unconsciously create situations in our lives where we could again experience these negative emotions.

How to deal with this? How can you learn to respect yourself and stop attracting these kinds of situations into your life?

The answer is to refuse to experience such emotions. Give them up once and for all. This is not easy to do, but you need to go through it in order to begin to truly love yourself.

And once again, when you find yourself in a situation where you are treated with disrespect, insulted or humiliated, track this emotion, consciously feel this aggression or irritation and transform it. There is no need to keep them inside and not accumulate them, this is fraught with disorders nervous system and respiratory diseases.

You have two ways out of this situation - from yourself to the person who hurt you, or to answer him.

But answer with dignity. Without stooping to the level of your abuser, without speaking his language. Nothing good will come of this and it is unlikely to increase your self-respect.

He who respects himself always respects others

You need to learn to respond to aggression directed at you without retaliatory aggression and anger. Express your attitude towards this in a calm and even tone of a confident person. It is not necessary to experience negative emotions in order to stand up for yourself and show what is acceptable for us and what is not, and that you deserve better treatment.

Don’t be silent if you don’t like something - state it calmly and kindly - and in most cases the conflict will be resolved immediately.

Ignore people who are negative in your way short time- in a queue or in transport, for example. There are a lot of inadequate individuals around. Learn to ignore them, make them invisible to yourself, and gradually such people will appear less and less in your life.

Give up negative emotions and start new chapter of your life. One in which you can say: “I respect myself!” Your new image is an image that deserves to be treated with respect.

I also recommend not to be lazy, but to take on board 5 more useful tips about how can you love yourself and with tomorrow say "Hello!" new "I"!

Practical examples of self-love

Self-love shows in small details. The way we treat ourselves in our daily actions speaks volumes about how much we love or dislike ourselves. This short video (by Ada Conde WOMANUR) shows practical examples and advice on how to treat ourselves even in small moments of our lives.

How to love yourself? Practical psychology

In this interesting video Popular psychologist and presenter of Cognitive TV Ekaterina Prokhorova will share her secrets on the topic of self-love with you. After watching this short video (09:16), you will be able to understand that the person closest to you is yourself.

How to make you love yourself?

Making yourself fall in love is impossible. This is an absolutely pointless and hopeless endeavor. But convincing your subconscious of the sincerity of your feelings towards yourself is possible and very necessary.

In addition to the theme of self-love and to consolidate this feeling in the depths of your subconscious, I recommend using modern psi technologies and going through a wonderful audio-visual hypno-course “THE HEALING POWER OF LOVE”.

This wonderful hypnosession, which I recently completed myself and can confirm its effectiveness, is aimed at developing true love towards yourself and accepting yourself as an individual.

Having gone through it, you will be able to love yourself deeper, and when filled with this love, you will feel irresistible desire give it to others and you will receive love in return!

Interesting

Psychologists talk a lot and often about the need to love yourself. Experts are convinced that this is necessary for correct formation a full-fledged personality. But what is self-love? Perhaps in ensuring a comfortable existence for yourself? But won't this become a manifestation of selfishness towards loved ones? There are many different questions that need to be answered.

So how can a woman love herself and increase her self-esteem? Why do complexes appear? Are they objective? So, let's figure out how to love yourself this way and what are the ways to normalize self-esteem?

Why you need to love yourself

Statistics say that almost half of women are dissatisfied with themselves, their appearance, certain character traits or quality of life, which causes many complexes and depression. They do not know how to love and value themselves. How then can a woman expect recognition and understanding from others?

Self-love does not mean neglecting loved ones at all. This is the desire to be better, smarter, more beautiful, to achieve success in life. It will fill you with self-confidence and confidence in a bright future.

Often women do not understand this and continue to suffer in silence, considering themselves unlucky and unhappy. However, the ability to love yourself must be learned. This is daily work that requires patience and perseverance, which will reward you with harmony and peace in your own soul. Many people do not understand how to love themselves, but the advice of a psychologist will help them cope with this difficult task.

How to learn to love yourself

First of all, you should allow yourself to be imperfect.

No one is able to know and be able to do everything, even the most beautiful, rich and famous. Every person makes mistakes in life, perhaps irreparable ones. He forgives them to other people, why can’t he forgive himself? You should learn from them so as not to commit them in the future, but do not be tormented by the thought that nothing can be corrected. You must be able to let go of the past by drawing the necessary conclusions.

There is no need to feel sorry for yourself by creating the image of a victim.

Pity gives rise to a feeling of helplessness and hopelessness. Even a person deprived of nature, a disabled person, can find himself in this life if he has sufficient willpower. Why should a healthy, pretty and full of strength woman feel sorry for herself?

Getting everything done to completion is a necessary condition.

Unfinished business indicates weakness, defeat, and inability to deal with difficulties.

Don't make comparisons with other people

Every woman is unique in her own way. It is better to compare yourself today with yesterday and celebrate positive changes. You should praise yourself more often for achievements achieved, even the smallest ones. It's even more useful to write them down. Every day they will increase, and with this there will be confidence in own strength. You only need to celebrate your strengths. Everyone has shortcomings, so don't dwell on them.

Happy people are those who spend their entire lives doing what they love.

By choosing an activity to her liking, a woman achieves much greater success. They inspire, add confidence in their abilities, and relieve negative emotions.

Exercises

How to accept yourself this way and what is the technique that helps you love the real you? There are several simple exercises that should be performed daily:

going to the mirror, you need to praise yourself; initially during training there will be internal tension, however, it will disappear over time;
Slouching is a sign of low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence, so every day you need to work on your posture and gait in order to learn to keep your back straight and your head high.

A woman receives from the world around her mirror image those emotions and the attitude that she feels and sends to him. And self-love fills her with joyful, positive feelings. At the same time, one should not confuse self-respect with pity or selfishness. After all, there are two types of such feelings.

The most common form of self-admiration is when a person thinks that he is better than everyone else.
The second is based on self-pity and the belief that all life is pure bad luck and injustice.

Both types of self-esteem contradict reality. In order to make it adequate, first of all, we need to recognize this contradiction. How can you love yourself if you are selfish or insecure?! Of course this is impossible.

Methods for increasing self-esteem

Psychology has using different methods increasing self-esteem. One of them suggests looking at yourself from the outside, as stranger, and find real traits that command respect. To do this, the following steps are required.

You need to sit in silence and remember the pleasant moments of life that evoke a feeling of pride in your actions. You should write them down on paper.
At the next stage, you need to write down memories that left you feeling awkward and ashamed of your behavior. These events should be analyzed and their causes identified. Then you need to forgive yourself for your mistakes and not return to them again.
Having compared the results of two exercises, you need to find a middle ground, your real qualities.
It is necessary to make two more lists: the first will contain objects and events that you like, cause positive emotions, and in the second - those that provoke a feeling of irritation.
You should think about how to remove from your life those phenomena that cause negativity. If this is not possible, you need to change your attitude towards them and not get irritated by their presence. It is better to accept these things as inevitable, like rain or snow, which will end someday.
The first list should be used as an antidepressant, helping to improve mood and restore interest in life.

These simple exercises They will help you love yourself, and in the future they will improve not only mental, but also physical health.

Reverse action

What is important is the attitude towards the surrounding world, that is, towards those events, people, things and circumstances among which a woman lives. This is a reality that gives joy and sorrow, and we must be grateful for life. After all, there is no other world and there never will be. You cannot judge other people: acquaintances, relatives, colleagues. They must be responsible for their decisions and their actions.

If something in others irritates you, you need to analyze your behavior. It is believed that those character traits that a person condemns in others are present in himself, which is why they offend him. You must try to correct them in yourself, or you will have to put up with them in others. By accepting your shortcomings and stopping constantly criticizing yourself, it is easier to cope with your complexes and raise your self-esteem.

smile in response to an insult;
if money is lost, donate a certain amount to charity;
You can get rid of the feeling of fear with the help of laughter.

Thus, by giving kindness and love to the world around you, you can receive in return moreover the same thing.

Relationships with parents

If you look for the origins of self-dislike, you often have to go back to your childhood. Usually the reasons lie in the relationship between parents and daughters and sons. Trying to see their dreams come true through their children, many mothers and fathers put undue pressure on them. Resentment toward parents sometimes goes away over many years.

To get rid of this destructive emotion, you need to learn to forgive - both your parents, and yourself, and other people. How to learn to accept yourself, your mom and dad for who everyone is? Psychologists suggest doing the following for this.

If you remember how your mother scolded you in childhood, you need to say kind and kind words, even if it is difficult at first.
We need to take care of old relatives. Help will respond with gratitude, and she, in turn, will return vital energy.
There is no need to try to please everyone, including parents and relatives. It's still impossible.
Help must be selfless. At the same time, you should not allow anyone to manipulate you. A person himself must determine the amount of his assistance.

In your relationship with your parents, you should try to form a positive common memory; it will help you forget and forgive childhood grievances. It's worth trying to open your emotions without blaming anyone. Joint discussion old grievances will help. If your parents are no longer alive, you must try to reproduce this conversation in your imagination and forgive them.

Think positively

How to love yourself? To do this, you need to learn to be grateful both to yourself and to this world. It is important to find a small reason for joy every day. Phrases of gratitude can be written down and read at any time. convenient time. Thoughts are material, so they should always be positive.

Often women try to push away, drive away those memories that cause pain. They want to get rid of their worries, but sadness and melancholy return with even greater force. But these feelings cannot be ignored, they must be experienced in order to then be forced out of the head.

There are some more useful tips that will help you understand how a woman can love herself:

good deeds will not only lead to a promotion vital energy– this could be charity or volunteering;
there is no need to restrain and hide your emotions, but you should not allow them to control you;
no need to carry flash negative emotion on others - it is better to retire and calm down, let go of the situation;
we need to learn love from others, to live life to the fullest, rejoice interesting book or a movie, laugh at a good joke, give gifts, and soon the world will reciprocate;
you need to try to let yourself go and do what you always wanted, for example, go on a trip, or jump with a parachute.

Knowing how to accept yourself, you will be able to learn to love, forgive and see yourself and the world as they are. As a result, you can confidently look to the future. It will be beautiful and will give kindness and recognition in return.

“Self-hatred is a feeling that we are rarely aware of,” says Charles Roizman. – Firstly, it is so unpleasant and destructive that we force it out. Secondly, when we encounter difficulties, we most often think that they were caused by other people or unfavorable circumstances. It is difficult for us to admit that they are caused by our internal problems and by what creates these problems: an unworthy image of oneself.”

Why do we talk about hatred and not about lack of self-confidence or low self-esteem? “Because this is a very specific feeling that causes a distorted image of ourselves as a monster: we perceive ourselves entirely as bad, inadequate, good for nothing.”

The disgusting creature that we want to hide at all costs from others and from ourselves is actually a wounded being: as a child, family members or others tormented us, tormented by ridicule, incessant accusations, exclusion, rejection and mistreatment, and all this makes us still be ashamed of ourselves.

Past experiences of violence make us think that we do wrong all the time, force us to give up ourselves in favor of others or to submit to those who instill fear in us. But in most cases we do not even have a clear awareness of what we have experienced. And instead of feeling sorry for ourselves, we continue to treat ourselves poorly and consider ourselves pathetic.

Am I really to blame or do I feel guilty because I was regularly made to feel guilty?

In essence, self-hatred is love that has been disappointed and turned into its opposite. Trauma prevents us from becoming who we hope to be. And we don’t forgive ourselves for this.

Our flawed ideas about ourselves cannot but affect our lives. But if we find them, we will have a chance to free ourselves from them.

Charles Roizman offers three paths to healing:

“First, look at how we treat others - demandingly, critically - in order to better understand how we were treated.

Secondly, identify our negative beliefs about ourselves and try to understand where they come from.

Thirdly, and most importantly, learn to distinguish between fantasies and reality: are the reproaches that I address to myself justified? Am I really to blame or do I feel guilty because I was regularly made to feel guilty?

At some point, you need to start fighting with yourself and stop condemning yourself in advance. By recognizing the signs of self-loathing in different areas of our lives, we can more comfortably accept our shortcomings, as well as our strengths.”

In our relationship

Reproduction of violence, difficulty creating intimate space. Because we are not aware of what has been done to us, we risk, without noticing it, in turn being inattentive, blaming, suppressing and humiliating partners, children, colleagues... “It is the violence that we reproduce that limits our ability to love others in the same way.” as they are, and show ourselves as we really are. That is, ultimately create intimacy.”

We're hiding behind (too) positive images yourself (sweet, ideal, devoted) or for those who are too provocative (“I am who I am, whether you like it or not,” “I value my freedom too much to get involved with someone”). These positions allow us to keep others at a distance, but also reveal deep-seated self-doubt.

In our achievements

Dreams abandoned, talents buried in the ground.“Because we don’t love ourselves enough, it’s difficult for us to achieve our goals: we don’t take our dreams seriously, we don’t dare to fulfill our desires, we simply don’t give ourselves this opportunity,” notes Charles Roizman.

We always put off until later the life we would like to lead: we feel neither worthy of happiness nor capable of it.

And then we either console ourselves or engage in self-sabotage. And yet we never realize our underestimated potential. Boredom and the feeling that we are not living our own lives are sure signs of self-hatred that we do not recognize. To cope with our disappointments, we convince ourselves that no one ever does what they want in life.

In our work

Unfulfilled ambitions, impostor syndrome. In the same way, self-hatred holds back professional development. If we are convinced of our insignificance, if we do not give ourselves the right to make mistakes, then any encounter with difficulties in mastering new tasks, any criticism can become unbearable. Instead of listening to our desire to develop, we pretend that we have no ambitions, that we give this right to others. “We direct the contempt we feel towards ourselves towards those who succeed and whom we envy, although we cannot admit it to ourselves,” notes Charles Roizman.

If, despite all this, we achieve a responsible position, we are faced with impostor syndrome: “We do not feel capable of performing the functions entrusted to us, and we are terrified at the thought of being exposed,” he explains. Self-hatred prevents us from recognizing our strengths: if we succeed, it is only because others were mistaken about us.

In our body

Non-recognition of beauty, neglect of health. How we take care of ourselves is obviously related to how much we value ourselves. If we were once neglected, now we neglect ourselves: shapeless clothes, sloppy hair... If we cannot appear in public without complex makeup or an elaborate outfit, this also indicates a lack of self-confidence and a reluctance to be seen in natural state.

What is not so obvious, “self-hatred also manifests itself in neglect of one’s health: we don’t go to the dentist, gynecologist. We think we deserve this destruction, this suffering, and we don’t dare show anyone the parts of our body that we have been made to feel ashamed of.

In our affections

The need for “crutches”, difficulties with choice.“When we were children and we failed to receive confirmation of our existence through approval, permission, recognition from our parents, this dealt a blow to our ability to be independent,” explains Charles Roizman. Having matured, we do not know how to make decisions, make choices on our own. We still need to lean on someone, and if that someone is unavailable, then something. This dependence creates the ground for obsessive needs and painful attachments. It also makes us vulnerable to sexual harassment and malicious manipulation. One way or another, it testifies to our conviction that on our own we do not deserve the right to exist.

About the expert

(Charles Rojzman) – founder of social psychotherapy; co-author of the book “How to Learn to Love Yourself in Difficult Times.” His website.

To become happy you need to know harmony, and without love and self-respect it is unlikely to achieve this high feeling. How to learn to sincerely love and respect yourself, forgive and let go of fear and pain?

Our motivation depends on the level of self-esteem, life goals, energy charge, harmonious existence in this life. What do you need to do to learn to respect and value yourself?

Creating the perfect look

To gain self-respect and self-esteem, it is necessary to adhere to various postulates that make us happier and more successful. How to force a husband and wife to show love and humility, teach children to help others, with early years sow love and self-respect in their souls?

What does psychology advise:

It is important to be able to forgive at any moment and period of life, forgetting both petty grievances and serious sins. You need to learn to forgive your neighbors, erasing pain, anger and suffering from your path. You can meditate, use various ways « visual representation offender,” trying to let go of the offense from your soul forever.
In order to treat yourself with respect, you need to engage in self-development, learn new and interesting things, increase your level of self-esteem and increase the degree of confidence in yourself. It is important to learn to love yourself, but not forget about those around you.
It must be remembered that failures and negative thoughts attract the bad, and therefore it is important to learn how to switch to the positive in time, smile more often and accept life in all its manifestations.
It is important to understand your surroundings - who do you communicate with and what energy do you attract? You must surround yourself with worthy individuals who love and respect themselves, are ready to come to your aid at any moment, and express support and a friendly attitude.
Never stop there! Continue to improve and look for new ways out of the situation. It is important to find yourself, to find favorite activity, and then all obstacles will not matter.

What happens if you don't show respect for yourself?

A person who does not show respect for himself becomes an inferior person, as if every ridicule and watchful glance of a neighbor is about him. Life is going badly, it’s difficult to achieve your goals when there are only negative thoughts, complexes and fears in your head.

Only love and respect will help you overcome difficulties and find success. People with positive thinking do not suffer from depression, they always find a way out of any life situation, do not mislead others.

How to love yourself and learn to respect?

What to do to develop personal self-esteem and how to love yourself? You need to learn to treat yourself with respect in practice (do your hair, put on beautiful clothes, take care of yourself and your body, eat properly and balanced in order to achieve the desired shape).

How to make yourself respected - it is important to stop comparing yourself with someone. Each person is individual and there are no identical personalities in the world. You need to not dwell on shortcomings, but look for your talents and abilities in order to surprise others and love yourself.

If you made a mistake in something, then you should not reproach yourself for it, the one who moves forward and develops accepts life lessons. You cannot change the past, but the future is in your hands.

It is necessary to form the right habits, which will help increase the level of self-esteem. Every person should eat right, devote time to physical and spiritual development, monitor your weight and health.

What can help improve self-esteem:

rest;
encouragement;
positive emotions;
positive thinking;
affirmations and meditation;
good health;
self-development.

Before moving on to practical actions you need to find the reasons why you still treat yourself with disrespect.

Do you need to love yourself?

What hinders the development of your self-esteem is the lack of love, when a person ceases to live in harmony with the outside world and spiritual impulses. Until we love ourselves, we will not be able to sincerely love our neighbors.

Dissatisfaction with yourself makes you envy others, which means ruining your world and ideas about life. If there is no proper attitude towards oneself, then pity and negative emotions arise that destroy a person’s health and well-being.

If you constantly engage in self-criticism, look for your negative aspects and shortcomings, then nothing good will come of it. Only fear, pain and disappointment. That is why it is so important to stop and start looking for your path in life, honest, noble and harmonious.

How to show love and apply it to yourself?

A loving and self-respecting person sets realistic goals for himself every day, achieves them and thanks himself for his efforts. This is the only way to achieve harmony and avoid self-flagellation.

There are several exercises that will help you change your behavior. better side:

The first exercise is self-awareness

To do this, you need to think carefully and mentally answer several questions:

who am I in this life;
what I do;
why can I be proud of myself;
what I do best;
how others treat me;
what should I change in my life.

The second exercise is to find your strengths

You need to take a piece of paper and write everything down positive aspects. Afterwards, re-read them every day in order to cultivate the beautiful in yourself, in order to love yourself for what you are.

Third exercise - recording changes

Psychologists say that you cannot compare yourself with other people, but you can compare yourself with “yesterday’s” self. What does this mean? It is important to learn to note your negative and positive actions, and constantly record them.

You need to continue the exercise until the dynamics of the results begin to satisfy you. This way you will become proud of yourself, appreciate and love yourself as an improved person.

To strengthen the results obtained, it is important to regularly follow simple rules:

before going to bed and after waking up, say warm words to yourself, thank the Lord for everything that you have, ask for a blessing for the coming day;
standing in front of a mirror, you can cheer yourself up by uttering words of praise and praise of certain qualities;
come up with a positive affirmation and repeat it as often as possible to achieve desired result(an excellent example is the heroine of the film “The Most Charming and Attractive”);
try to please and pamper yourself, give small and big joys;
It is important to take care of your body, be sure to exercise physical activity, walk more fresh air, eat healthy and wholesome food, and when there is no physical discomfort, it will be easier to love yourself.

How to start appreciating your personality?

How to make people respect yourself? Many people are afraid to appreciate and love themselves, because they believe that they will stop thinking about others. But this is not so, love is not a manifestation of selfishness, it is important to make self-esteem optimal so as not to step over the line of what is permitted:

Everyone has the right to make mistakes - this is not weakness, ideal people no, and therefore anyone can commit wrong actions. The main thing is to come to your senses and take measures to eliminate the error.
No one owes anyone anything - and therefore you should not demand from others what they cannot give.
You need to be open with people.
It is important to accept people as they are - not to try to change them.

In order not to reproach yourself for unrealistic plans, it is important to really plan every day and hour, this is the only way you can manage to accomplish your plans and receive positive emotions as a reward for your work.

Psychologists say that those who work hard should rest well. After all constant voltage can lead to emotional exhaustion! We stop working at full capacity, lose dexterity, qualifications, and begin to doubt our capabilities.

Love and respect in family and at work

How to force others to respect themselves - loved ones, friends, colleagues... How to force a wife to show patience and attentiveness to her husband? How to get her recognition from a man? Or become a valuable employee at work? There are many questions, but the answer is one – love and self-respect.

To family life has become an idyll, it is necessary to accept each partner with all his shortcomings, and not try to change them, but to develop new ones, positive traits character that will become the key to a strong and happy life.

How to make a man respect his wife? Stop being selfish, take on part of the “female responsibilities”, get rid of the idea that a woman will not go anywhere and will always be there.

The main thing is to never give up, but always strive for victory, both at home, at work, and in personal matters. In addition to all the tricks, you always need to develop, every guy will be pleased when his girlfriend is appreciated and respected by others, and not grumbled and condemned.

Often the cause of family conflicts is the partners' disrespect for their personality. How to make your husband or wife respect themselves? You need to get rid of the trail of the past, stop focusing on the negative, reconsider your plans for the future and cultivate a personality full of strength and energy for a happy future.

In order for a husband to be attentive to his companion, it is important for a woman to learn to respect herself and him, to take into account the opinion of her husband, and not to “nag” him over trifles. How to get your husband to show caring and godly intentions? A woman needs:

Stop being hysterical.
Don't wash dirty linen in public.
Do not “extort” money from a man for uncontrolled purchases.
Do not humiliate, do not insult, do not “make scandals” out of nowhere.

Better yet, become your dear husband’s support and support, then he will “move mountains” so that everything in your family is perfect. Be a friend, spend more time together doing pleasant things, prove to your loved one that you are worthy of a good relationship.

Now you know what it means to value and respect yourself, how to change life and make it beautiful and interesting. Be happy and take care of yourself! Develop and don't stop there! Movement is life and the key to a wonderful future!

A client, Tatyana K., came to me with a frequently asked question - How to learn to love yourself - psychology never gets tired of talking about this, but real results in fact, quite a bit.

And the lesson began quite unexpectedly: with a stream of tears and indignation, “everyone around was just saying that we must learn to love people, learn to love life! How to do this?!” According to the golden rule, any problem is sorted out, starting with yourself. That's what we did.

You can only love others in one case - if you love yourself. This condition is very broad, and there can be many reasons for not loving yourself. IN in this case Tatyana admitted that she hates people, feels constant hostility and irritation towards them, which she tries in every possible way to cover up with a pretense. pleasant attitude. Human resources are not limitless, both physical and energetic. And resisting yourself requires considerable strength. Of course, such duality in behavior is quite draining. And not only the psyche: Tatiana began to have health problems.

How to learn to love yourself?

Psychology offers several methods. We tried efficient process consisting of three questions:

what do you forbid yourself?
What do you forbid others?
What do others forbid you?

They are asked in turn 1-2-3-1-2-3-... until a state of relief, improved mood or insight. It turned out that the client forbids herself all the joys of life, citing the fact that she is unworthy of them. She forbids others to be themselves, to live their lives, to express their opinions and interests. It turned out that she considers other people second class, which brings her big troubles in her family, at work, and in society. Take a piece of paper and write down all the answers that come to you. I assure you, you will be surprised. And ask yourself, why do I forbid myself to be happy? What benefit do I get from this??

Life is long, and it is not alone... over a long time, a charge of negative emotions and painful events accumulates between a person and people. With this burden on your soul, will you immediately fall in love with your surroundings? It wouldn’t hurt to dissolve the unpleasant sediment - using good way. Ask yourself:

what did I do to people?
what did people do to me?

By alternately asking 1-2-1-2-... many answers will come, sometimes the most unexpected. Don't brush them aside! And don't give in to doubts. Just accept everything that comes - including emotions (tears, irritation, apathy, anger), discomfort in the body, and mental pictures that may seem incredible! Traveling through the labyrinths of the unconscious is very exciting.) Write down everything that comes to mind, indiscriminately and without thinking. Until you feel that it has become easier.

Of course, with these two methods of learning to love yourself, psychology does not completely cover the state of self-dislike, but they thoroughly cleanse the psychology of relationships. Give it a try. If you have any questions or difficulties, write or call on Skype..

Loving yourself is simple and difficult at the same time. The state of accepting oneself as is cannot be taught by trainings and seminars - the feeling is purely personal, intimate, which one comes to with time. It is noticeably inherent in children, and then, under the pressure of upbringing and society, it goes away somewhere. But nothing disappears without a trace. If it worked out once, it means that the feeling of loving yourself can be restored. Go for it! “We were prisoners of a purposeless existence. The hour has come, and deep within us, someone has awakened who knows that we are not just mortals physical bodies, who have decomposition and decay ahead, a complete and inevitable end. Each of us has an amazing ability to perform the most magical of acts of creation – our own transformation.” (c)