How to become a morally stable person. They don't lose control

How to become strong spirit ? This dilemma worries many individuals, because most dream of a powerful inner strength. inner strength is a quality that is difficult to develop, to achieve which it is necessary desire and internal reserves that will change the quality of life.

How to become a strong-willed person if they overcome everyday difficulties, give up, there is no strength to overcome life's obstacles, to implement the desired plans and achieve goals. To begin with, it is necessary to define what strength of mind is and who such a strong-willed person is. So, fortitude is the harmony of the psychological and physical components of the individual. Therefore, when a person develops physically, it is important not to forget about the development of intellectual and psychological factors.

A strong-willed personality is able to independently resolve issues that appear in her life, unlike weak personalities who live at the expense of strong ones. If with a weak person he uses negative experience to weaken himself, turning into an unfortunate victim, then a person with a strong spirit and character adequately gets out of any unpleasant situation that has developed. Strong personalities have many plans and desires, while weak personalities have many needs.

A strong-willed person always has own opinion. But the way of life of a weak person is to always need protection. A strong person is able to protect himself and his way of life is cooperation and influence on other individuals. Most individuals live according to patterns. A person endowed with a spirit is above all patterns and will not react to any contradictory, traumatic situation with a conflict pattern.

A strong-willed person is not a coward and turns out to be stronger than his fear. This does not mean that such individuals are not afraid, they just know how to be stronger than their phobias and prejudices.

The stronger the spirit of a person, the more significant the burden of negative experience, she is able to perceive and adequately survive the troubles. The weaker the personality, the smaller the dose of troubles it can normally perceive.

How to become a strong spirit and character

In Iceland, there is a wonderful proverb about this: “Everyone who did not stand firmly on his feet has long been blown into the ocean.” Therefore, by developing yourself physically and psychologically, you can answer the question of how to become a strong-willed person.

Below are specific tips on how to become a strong spirit person:

- you need to surround yourself with people with positive attitude for life, since long-term communication with, contributes to becoming the same as them;

- it is important to maintain relationships with spiritually developed and competent people who are inherently positive charge energy;

- you need to gain faith in yourself, this will give strength and confidence in your actions, clearly follow certain principles for yourself. Without clear ideas about life, it will be difficult to create a specific strategy of action, which in turn will bring chaos to life;

- should be studied personal experience from own life because this is the only way to gain significant experience and acquire knowledge;

- it is important not to be afraid, but to learn from your mistakes; To do this, you need to analyze your actions more. Extracting knowledge from your experience will make the person more careful and smarter in the future;

- you need to be able to withstand adversity, because mental stability important in stressful situations predetermined by fate, so in unpleasant situations you should learn to be flexible;

- you need to be prepared for negative options for the outcome of events and not fall into this about it, losing your mind and common sense, and even if something went wrong, you can’t waste the time you need to solve the problem;

- it is required to be able to look fears in the eye, since they subconsciously influence life, even if the individual does not think about them;

- having spent time on introspection, having figured out why fear arose, you can get rid of it; it requires doing what you are afraid of until the fear finally disappears. This is how most individuals get rid of many phobias. If a person cannot do what he is afraid of, you should try to think about fear more often, and then he will pass;

You need to become a doer, not a thinker. Personalities with strong character they do not wait for events in their lives to happen, they themselves actively act. You should be enterprising to participate in events, and not passively react to everything that happens. It is necessary to work and try every next day to do more than on the previous day;

- you should start living today and not think about the future; thinking a lot about the future, a person puts off a lot of things for tomorrow, this applies to both rest and important things;

- you need to understand that tomorrow is already today, so it's time to put plans into practice. Only strong personalities live for today;

- it is important for a person to realize that the world is not ideal, this will allow him to do more for himself and not be distracted by secondary things; often people have very different ideas about life, so it makes no sense to retrain or re-educate other individuals, but it is worth treating their weaknesses condescendingly.

Only a strong-willed person can really overcome life's trials: dangerous and difficult. A strong spirit is cultivated over the years and all the efforts aimed at this are worth it to achieve - this is a rare and valuable quality.

So, the basic rule on how to become a strong spirit and character is not to run away from what the individual is afraid of, but to look his fear in the eye, directing his gaze to what he fears the most. And when the individual begins to overcome his fear, it will disappear, and the person will become stronger in spirit.

An example of how to become a strong spirit. Consider this case: a person is about to part with his beloved. He is so afraid of this that mentally, scrolling the parting in his head, he is horrified by this and subconsciously tries to avoid those unrest that he is very afraid of. And in order to become a strong-willed person, it is necessary, without interrupting the imaginary picture of parting, to present in all details the whole scene of parting. Initially, horror from what is happening will roll in, a person will suffer at that moment, but after that the horror will disappear, and with it the fear. A person will cease to be afraid of parting in reality, since he has already lived it in his head. So his strength of mind will increase, and he will be ready for anything.

Another example of how to become a strong spirit man. It is very important in life not to allow yourself to feel sorry for yourself. When an individual, being in difficult situation, pities himself, angers those around him and fate, blames them for what happened, then he wastes his energy in vain on a thankless task, which only multiplies negative energy. Therefore, you should not feel sorry for yourself, but direct all your energy and strength to solving the problem.

You don't need to cling to the past, but you need to live in the present. Accepting what is happening in life only now, the individual is able to live, no matter what. For example, a person is overtaken by a disease that is difficult to cure. It is necessary not to think about how good it was without her. It is required to accept the disease, learn to cope with it. It is for this that strength of mind is required, which is brought up due to the fact that a person understands the need for a decision to live in the present tense “here and now”. You should "accumulate" positive memories, good life moments, impressions. This will save in any critical situations, even in the absence of improvements. Only joyful memories give the individual hope that they will happen in the near future and for this it is worth believing in it.

It is important for a person to learn to forgive and then he can become strong personality. By forgiving, a person is able to move forward. Spiritual strength doubles after each bold, honest act and helps to cope with upcoming, subsequent difficulties, so it is important to catch this simple logic and start helping yourself now.

Greetings dear friend. Today I want to touch on the topic of our strength. I mean not only physical, but also internal. What does masculinity mean to you? For me, this is primarily discipline, willpower, the desire to be a leader. And of course good physical training. This is where character building begins.

You must have faced problems in your life. It could be problems at work, in the family, with parents, with a close friend. And of course, all the negativity that is happening in our world has not bypassed you. MEDIA, social media very actively disseminate all the information slag. All this does not go unnoticed. Therefore, only a strong man can steadfastly endure all the negativity and problems. If you want to pump yourself up and become stronger, then today's article is for you. I advise you to read it to the end.

To become a strong man in every sense of the word, you need to adhere to some important principles. We will talk about them below.

You have to earn money

And not just make money, but make good money. Develop the qualities of a careerist. You should never be satisfied with your income, but should strive for more. Men who earn well are calmer, because they are confident in their future. And if you already have a family, and you get a penny, then urgently change your lifestyle or work. Remember - the man is the earner of money in the family.

go in for sports

Physical activity develops not only your body but also willpower, endurance, discipline. It is sport that will help you change yourself in better side. If you're new and don't know where to start, find a good coach to help you and kick you when you're lazy.

It is important to keep yourself in good shape at all times. But how to do it? Imagine what perfect body you want and remember this image. And as soon as you want to skip a workout or even forget about it, remember this image. Most guys are prevented from achieving results by laziness, weakness of character. Don't let your weaknesses control you!

Tough discipline

Develop discipline. For example, you have a gym scheduled today, so go. You don't have to find a thousand answers. Do you want to become a strong and real man? I advise you to keep a diary of your successes, it will help you in moments when you want to quit everything. If you do not write down your achievements, they will quickly be forgotten. In difficult times, it is the records that will help you cheer yourself up. And never give up. Even if you do not see tangible results, do not give up. And it doesn’t matter in sports or in personal life. Do not despair, all your actions give results.

Proper nutrition

I do not urge you to give up everything harmful. But I advise you to watch your diet. Your diet should contain vitamins, proteins, fats, fiber. To put it simply, eat more meat, fish, vegetables, fruits. And do not forget about dairy products, they contain calcium, which is necessary for the growth of teeth, bones, nails and hair.

And try to eat less bread, sweet rolls and fatty foods. Some may think: “How so. A man needs fatty foods.” Yes, it's needed. But that doesn't mean that grilled meat with a whole bowl of pasta and a rich sauce will do you good. Meat already has the necessary fats that are good for the male body. Try to correctly combine products with each other. And drink more pure water. It was her, not tea or coffee.

Be independent

What I mean. Can you cook? If not, then learn. The days when women did all the housework are over. Today it is very common to meet women who do not know how to cook, but are successful at work. You should not hope that you will find a girl who knows how to cook borscht. It's time to take the kitchen into your own hands. And there is nothing wrong with that. Firstly, if you live alone, you can treat yourself to different dishes, and not choke on dumplings or pasta. Secondly, girls are very bribed by men who know how to cook deliciously. Thirdly, you will feel much more confident and stronger.

Learn

Don't limit yourself to watching football or YouTube videos. Learn something new. Read books, take courses, attend trainings. Smart men are in fashion now.

Don't sit your pants at home, do something. What did you want to learn? For example, play the guitar or break dance, etc. Make your life exciting and interesting. Learn something new every day and overcome difficulties. Believe me, you will feel much stronger than before.

Strong men are not born, they are made. Remember that a successful and strong man works on himself for more than one year to become so. He struggles with his shortcomings and turns them into his virtues. He does not give up when something does not work out for him, and then he breaks through the wall with his head. He is completely independent and calm. He makes good money, looks after his appearance is constantly evolving and never stays in one place.

Do you want to be the same? Then go ahead! Good luck.

Stop and focus. When emotions overwhelm us, it is very difficult to understand what we feel. If the emotion is positive, then we feel great, but when sadness and anxiety overcome, then such feelings can quickly get out of hand. Stop and focus on your five senses. This will help you better control your anxiety or anger.

Breathe. When you experience strong emotions, your body may react accordingly. The fight-or-flight feeling occurs when your sympathetic nervous system activated by hormones such as adrenaline. Your heart rate and breathing increase, and your muscles tense. Breathe deeply to relax and return to normal.

Visualize. This is a calming and relaxing technique that will help you control your emotions. Visualization takes practice, but it will help you transform negative thoughts into positive.

• Start by choosing a "safe place". It can be any quiet, safe and relaxing place you can imagine. For example, a beach, a spa, a mountain peak.
• Find a place where you can practice visualization. It should be quiet and comfortable. There you should not be distracted for several minutes.
• Close your eyes and imagine yourself in a safe place. Imagine what it looks like. What is happening there? What smells do you smell? What sounds do you hear?
• Breathe slowly and evenly. Try to relax your muscles if they are tense. If you feel uncomfortable or anxious, don't judge yourself for it. Just try to imagine yourself in a calming environment and relax.
• Try to present negative emotions as material object. It will be awkward at first, but don't stop trying. Imagine negative feelings as something you can get rid of in an imaginary safe place. For example, imagine that your anger is a flame. Fire cannot burn without oxygen. Imagine anger as a flame and watch it go out. Or imagine stress as a stick. Throw the stick away from your safe place and imagine that the stress has disappeared.

1. Kindness towards yourself. This is the opposite of self-criticism. We are often taught to strive for perfection and that lack of perfection is failure. However, it is better to view yourself (and other people) as an "imperfect" person. Studies have shown that perfectionism prevents people from achieving success.

   • You will be emotionally stable if you treat yourself as close people. For example, if your close person makes a mistake, you are more likely to forgive him. Do the same for yourself.

2. Universality. This is the opposite of isolation. You may think that you are the only one who is hurt by mistakes and losses (as if other people don't make mistakes). Universal humanity is the recognition that pain and suffering are inherent in all people; that way you will judge yourself less harshly.

   Awareness. This is the opposite of egocentrism. Instead of denying or focusing on negative emotions mindfulness will allow you to recognize and accept all your feelings as they are.

   Think of the “best me” image. Research has shown that such visualization leads to positive feelings. To create such an image requires the following: imagine yourself in the future when you have achieved your goals, and think through your personality traits that will enable you to achieve your goals.

   • Start by imagining the time in the future where your image will be. Think about the most important personality traits (it is important that the image is created by you, and not under the pressure of other people).
   • Imagine positive image. Imagine every little thing. You can think of it as a dream life milestone or grand purpose. For example, if your image is that of a successful entrepreneur, imagine it in detail. How many employees do you have? What kind of boss are you? How much do you work? What do you sell?
   • Write down the details of this visualization. Think about what characteristics are inherent in your image. In our example, the entrepreneur must be creative and tenacious, and able to solve problems and build connections.
   • Think about what traits you already have. You will probably be surprised! Then think about what traits need to be developed. Imagine how you can acquire the necessary skills.
   • It is very important that such visualization does not turn into self-condemnation. Don't judge yourself by the qualities you have or don't have in this moment! Instead, focus on the image of the person you want to become.

3. Don't take everything personally. You cannot control other people's thoughts or actions, but you can control your own reactions to other people's behavior. Remember that in most cases, the statements or behavior of other people have nothing to do with you. By taking things personally, you allow other people to dominate you.

Creating and following healthy habits

Start the day with self-affirmation. It will help you in self-compassion. When you brush your teeth or get ready for work, repeat a phrase that is meaningful to you.

• For example, say something like, "I accept myself the way I am," or "I love myself."
• if you have weak spots, for example, you are anxious or you think about your body, while self-affirmation, focus on them. For example, if you are feeling anxious, repeat: “I will do my best. I can't do more. I can't control other people's actions." If you're thinking about your body, try focusing on something positive: "Today I'll be kind to my body because I deserve kindness" or "Today I look happy and healthy."

1. This is a key moment in the development of emotional stability. Confidence that you are a unique and worthy person will help you control your emotions. When you face difficulties, remind yourself that you can overcome them.

   Develop "emotional toughness". You can upgrade emotional stability focusing on positive emotions such as compassion and gratitude. Such emotions will help you understand that many fears and anxieties are inherent not only to you, but also to other people.

   Empathize with other people. This will help you build strong, healthy relationships. Empathy can also help you better control your emotions.

   Learn to be comfortable with uncertainty. Uncertainty frightens many people, therefore it is the reason emotional problems. If you cannot tolerate uncertainty, you will constantly worry, avoid uncertain situations, and become dependent on someone else's encouragement. Remember that uncertainty is inevitable in everyone's life. You will strengthen your emotional stability if you learn to calmly accept uncertainty.

   Don't think about the same things. Such reflections are a common response to certain emotions, especially sadness or anger. When a person thinks about the same thing, he becomes obsessed - he thinks about a particular situation, thought or feeling over and over again (similar to a broken record). Thinking gets in the way of finding a solution to a problem. It can also get you trapped in a negative thinking cycle, which often leads to depression and stress.

   Replace negative thoughts with productive ones. Often a person thinks about one negative thought. Instead, get rid of negative thoughts altogether! Reframe negative thoughts into positive ones.

   • For example, if you recently broke up with your loved one, you're probably wondering what went wrong. As a result, you may come to the conclusion that it is you who are to blame for everything. AT similar situation people often begin to wonder: "What if ..." - and begin to feel that nothing is working out for them in life.
   • Instead, try to focus on productive, realistic thinking. For example: “My relationship with this person is over. I didn't want it, but I can build good relationship with another person. To do this, I will use the experience gained.

2. Learn to solve problems. Reflections often focus on abstract, unresolvable questions such as "Why does this always happen to me?" or "What happened to me?" Instead of thinking like this, focus on finding solutions to your problems.

- Our theme is the strength of the human spirit. In your line of work, you deal with people who must be strong because weak person can't win the competition. Can you first define what a spiritually strong person is?

I would divide all strong people into simply strong and spiritually strong. strong people lot. For example, in sports. It is interesting to look at sports from this side. Any sport of the highest achievements is a sport not weak people. Because a person needs to learn to endure. To endure the load during training, to endure a coach who sometimes insults you, to endure a life system that needs to give oneself completely every day, to endure some kind of adversity, financial in particular. You train, and your neighbors, comrades or friends are already successful in business, have good incomes, and you don’t have the strength after training to go and do something else. There is only time left to recover for the next workout. And so from year to year. I believe that these people are courageous and purposeful, they have the will, they have patience, they can reach some great heights.

But these are not always spiritual people. Not all of them are morally stable. They may not know how to act in some difficult situations. In situations where they face brute force, where some kind of aggression is shown against them, everything is clear there. But what to do if the aggression is directed against other people or some other non-standard situation has occurred that does not directly concern you? Here they have no ready-made solutions.

- What is a spiritually strong person in your understanding?

In my understanding, a spiritually strong person is a person who has an inner core - the will and readiness for self-sacrifice for the sake of his neighbor. I think this is the most important thing. When they say that a strong person is one who is not afraid of anything, I will never believe it. A person who is not afraid of anything is crazy. We have a self-preservation instinct, given by God, and with the help of this instinct we survive, we understand, evaluate the situation, we don’t climb on the rampage somewhere, we risk somewhere, but the instinct still works. That is, fear should always be in us.

- They say that a brave person is not one who is not afraid, but one who knows how to act in spite of fear.

Right. For example, a situation arises when a person needs to make a decision for himself - to run away or sacrifice himself for the sake of loved ones. Two people accept in this situation different solutions. One ran away, the other sacrificed himself. One remained intact, and the other - crippled, and, perhaps, also forced to solve problems with the law.

Who did the right thing? One of them we consider a coward, the one who ran away. The other is a brave man. But both were afraid. The ability to own fear, to manage it, is very important.

Our warriors who are fighting now and fought in our previous wars, which led our people to victories, were mostly brave and strong-willed people. The person, perhaps, did not know that he had such a rod, he just had not been in such a stressful situation, but then it came, and he made a decision.

I also noticed such a thing: the same person takes in seemingly similar situations, in different time different solutions. Let's say that once he ran away, another time this "coward" will defend himself, and make very difficult decisions.

And he will be a brave man. Imagine everything can change! Each of us can do bold things. Everyone. There are no weak people. There is a process of upbringing, the environment around you, which either weakens you or lifts you up. But in each of us there is, in my opinion, a predisposition to great deeds. Someone needs to strain less, someone needs to work more on themselves, but he, too, can become strong and courageous.

- Is self-sacrifice an innate human quality? Or, perhaps, there is a certain worldview, having accepted which, a person is more willing to go on a feat and sacrifice himself for the sake of others?

I repeat - each of us has it. Like there is a soul in a person. The question is in education, in the environment in which a person grew up - this is the first. The second is in what environment he is now. But the main thing is the spiritual values ​​of a person, the principles by which he lives. I believe that it is natural for an Orthodox person to be brave, because he has such protection that no one else has. He loves his Motherland and his family, and knows that no matter what suffering awaits him, if he does everything in good conscience, he will receive the jewel that we all aspire to. The meaning is in our justification before our Creator and in a meal with Him, for this you can sacrifice anything. Now, if a person understands this, then everything else becomes miserable and insignificant ... We must train ourselves. Just as we train our bodies, so our souls should also be trained in order to always remember where we are striving, where we are going.

Once I was in one convent. It was late and I was taken to the kitchen. It was the Borisoglebsky Anosinsky Monastery, not far from Moscow, Pavlovskaya Sloboda. An elderly nun, about sixty, seated me in the kitchen at the table. I am sitting, waiting for dinner, she is working at the stove, there she is preparing something in a large saucepan. And suddenly she turns sharply to me and asks so demandingly: “Why do you live so shamelessly, why do you not value your precious soul so much?”

I was taken aback. I asked the question: “What makes you think that we live so carelessly?” She says: "Look at the pan!". And opens the lid. Steam comes out of the pot. She tells me, "Look at the steam!" I looked, and she closes the pan with a lid and says: “How many have you seen this steam, count?” I say: “Well, two seconds.”

She answers: “People are changing their spiritual life, the Kingdom of Heaven, for a worldly life, and worldly life compared to eternity - this is this steam, just two seconds. And you, in a moment that costs nothing, invest everything, give your time. and preparation for future life you trade for this emptiness. Well, how long will you live? A hundred years. This steam in two seconds is like a hundred years compared to eternity.”

Why did you remember? Because our whole life is vanity, cockroach races. Each of us is called to something. The Lord will call and ask each of us sometime. What have we done in life? What have we done to justify ourselves? It becomes scary.

In addition to extreme events, there are situations that happen to us every day, and we either run away from them, or take a spiritual battle, make some kind of sacrifice. Most often, it concerns relationships with people. We do not participate now in military battles, but there is spiritual warfare. Someone insulted us, and in response we begin to fight with this person. And perhaps we will even “win”, thinking that we will show our willpower in this way. But in fact, we are weak - weak against criticism, there is no humility in us. I am talking about myself in particular. Then you come to your senses and understand: “What have I done? What benefit have I brought to my soul today? No. Lost, today I have lost.

And we will be able to deal with the little things successfully, and in dangerous cases, when we are dealing with obvious aggression, we will emerge victorious if we look at things soberly and prevent brain paralysis.

I would say this: most people are not ready to make themselves strong on their own, they need mentors, unfortunately. That is, we need people who could force you to do what you do not want. But in order for this to happen, you must consciously come and place yourself in their hands.

For example, an athlete is training in martial arts. What do we do in training? We are preparing a person to think, reason, make cold-blooded decisions, despite the fact that he is afraid. The probability of getting injured is high, the fear of the enemy, especially the famous, titled, whom you know well, is also high. Whoever can suppress such elemental fear will increase the likelihood that he will fight his duel with dignity and with the minimum amount injuries. Win or lose is another matter.

- If a person does not have a healthy spiritual foundation, how can you help him overcome this fear?

In competitions, you can win on pride. But if a coach has spiritual roots, I mean, first of all, if a person is Orthodox, such a coach brings up soldiers on humility.

- That is, two fighters can go to a duel: one uses pride, the other - humility. And what are their chances?

Both can be equally strong. Maybe the proud one is stronger. When the fight starts, soon they will both be in a borderline state, if we talk about our sport, where the fight goes on at a very high pace. In a few minutes, people quickly get tired, they accumulate lactic acid, pressure drops, a lack of oxygen begins, as a result they become lethargic, they feel dizzy, they almost lose consciousness. In this state, the winner is the one whose strength of mind and will is higher. And, as a rule, the strength and will of a proud person turns out to be lower than that of a person who treats everything with faith.

I noticed that Orthodox warriors do not want to mutilate an opponent and show off in front of the public, they are different. They go out, I would say, to some extent to test their will. They do not try to destroy their enemy. What can not be said about the proud. On the contrary, he tries to inflict maximum amount mutilation, and enjoys it. Can you imagine? Moreover, if he manages to fulfill his plan, then he hears the exclamations of colleagues who shout: “Finish him! Break!".

Is it possible to say Orthodox person? No. The Orthodox are talking about something else. And when the Orthodox come out, they pray and ask for God's help. And the fact that this fight was in their favor. If he loses, he leaves with humility. He does not have such a deep disappointment as a proud man.

There are many nuances, although it is impossible to say that all proud, non-spiritual people are weak. There are also strong ones.

- What can you say to a person who wants to become spiritually strong? I heard advice in your words: to somehow think about eternity, the spiritual basis of your being. Moreover, it may not necessarily be Orthodox spirituality, does any religiosity, spiritual understanding of life help to one degree or another?

Yes, I think this applies to everyone. Religion is different for people. Someone does not believe in anything at all, believes in a person, in himself, but this is ridiculous. However, there is something of the Creator in each of us. And this is something the Lord gave to each of us in equal amounts. I mean the Divine soul that the Lord has given to each of us. And then who went which way ...

Therefore, I believe that in order to be strong, a person must believe in something. And best of all, he believes in the right things.

As for Muslims, there is much to be learned from them. Orthodox used to live to some extent as zealously as Muslims in some Muslim countries today. There were foundations: they respected elders, parents, understood their responsibility to the family, spouse, and if it didn’t exist yet, then they prepared for family life. The wife understood that her husband was responsible for her before the Creator, and she was preparing to build her relationship with her future husband both as an assistant and as a subordinate. Today we observe in Muslim families this hierarchy in more. We observe respect for elders.

You know, I was in Chechnya. We spent international competitions in Gudermes in 2004, when the second Chechen campaign ended. So that's what I saw in the Chechen village. They have a division into female and male halves in every house. If an older person enters the room, everyone stands in front of the elder as a sign of respect. He gestures that everyone can sit down. The senior sits down, and everyone communicates. If someone else comes in, they all stand up again. If, say, a grandfather comes in, everyone is on the line there. The same respect for the eldest woman in the family. She has the right to enter the territory of men. Also, the boy enters the room where the girls are (even if they are all relatives) - all the girls and women get up.

What is this for? To teach small children to order and respect. There is a continuity of tradition. There is order. When they grow up, some decisions will be implemented according to a certain structure, and even if someone makes the wrong decision, there are older people who can stop the presumptuous person. Are we seeing this? No. And these are Muslims, these are people who live their lives among us, and we can learn from them, draw conclusions.

- If a person has been taught to respect others since childhood, does this contribute to self-respect?

Undoubtedly. It is possible to educate an individual will, but it is best to educate in a society where everything is subordinate internal laws. Unfortunately, over the past decades, the family has suffered greatly - and this main base states. Everything is mixed up, everything is upside down. Now we, men, are protected by a woman. The man shrank. A man has become like a woman in the old days, he does not want to bear responsibility. Where is our will?

- The second thing I heard from you is attention to detail. It is very difficult to discipline yourself in small things. For this, will is needed, and the little things bring up the will. Through the little things we slide down and climb up. Is it so?

It is impossible to build a strong-willed person without going through certain little tests. Speaking about our structure, in our Federation it is built in such a way that the coaches begin to prepare a person who enters our club for a survival test. Let's say they tore a child away from his family, took him to training. He is yours, for 1.5-2 hours, homely, plush, caressed, not showing any masculine principle. We start the process, and then he realizes that his personal success will depend on the success of the entire team. Suppose one or two people in a group violate the discipline that the coach cultivates. Everyone will be punished, the whole group. One, two, three times - then you look - everything is corrected. A person becomes ashamed in front of his comrades, with whom he is here about Tom washes.

Plus there is a physical “pumping”. The man is punished, but he is not beaten with sticks. He does push-ups, presses, does other exercises that shape his body. But this creates a situation where he feels bad. The coach who punishes the group makes it difficult for the group to perform this exercise. Let's say everyone can do 20 push-ups, the coach will not ask for 10 push-ups, but will ask for 30 push-ups so that the group tries the last 10 times. And then he will say that they are punished for such a violation and henceforth they should be more careful.

But this is not the first test. The first test is the first student belt that the child will take. The child must show technique, flexibility and physical training. The program creates conditions under which it is difficult, very difficult for a person to complete it in its entirety. But from this crisis situation the coach must take him out, not give him the opportunity to run away, get scared, break down, say: “That’s it, I won’t do it anymore, I don’t want to.” Having created this extreme situation for him, the coach helps him come out of it as a winner, pass this test. And then a person morally rises to new level. He is already beginning to rethink himself, is beginning to take shape. This is how a five-year-old child and a forty-year-old man are prepared.

The coach does this at every training session: he creates a situation and pulls his student out of it. Of course, the coach does this to comprehend something, to understand. And gradually (and there are many such tests), a person, overcoming some small obstacles, becomes a person. And as it develops, the coach must also spiritually develop it. This is extremely important: either he will grow up a strong, powerful, but proud person who will despise, in his opinion, weak people, or he will grow up strong, powerful, humble, able to achieve goals in life, but at the same time loving people. And I want to say that not everything works out for us in terms of spiritual education. We educate strong people, spiritual ones - not always.

- People are proud and the regime is probably hard to comply with? Or does it still work? Still, passions prevail.

There are people who endure the regime for the sake of big goals. They set a goal for themselves and go for it. But they are not driven by humility, not by love for people, but by self-love and pride.

- It seems to me that a humble person is still stronger. For example, Fedor Emelianenko …

The humble is always stronger, always. In a borderline situation, he is stronger. When the proud lies exhausted, the humble will get up and finish everything to the end, for the sake of their Motherland. The same Fedor Emelianenko does not speak out in order to fill his pocket. He knows that the people are behind him, he knows that by his speech he raises his Motherland, his people. They will be guided by him, understanding whose representative he is. It seems to me that this is how he understands his performances, his mission in the international arena.

This man is spiritually strong.

I think so

- Based on the theoretical part, you can give some practical advice to a person who feels not strong enough, how to encourage him?

The main thing is to love God. Remember God when you feel bad, remember, and the Lord will give you both thought and help. As they say, "without God - not up to the threshold." This is the first wish.

A practical wish - do not allow brain paralysis in a difficult situation. There is no need to be afraid of what is happening. I saw that something terrible ran out. Everything petrified. Do not rush to react immediately to the situation. Do not twitch and show nothing outwardly. The main thing is to extinguish the wave of fear that will grow. Calm down. Assess the situation. When the brain is cold, it produces good solutions. And then there will be a decision, and you will be able to jump over the fence, figuratively speaking, to do something else.

- And how to learn it?

This, of course, needs to be worked out in training. We have such a test: if we have a serious fight, and one of the opponents shows that he is in pain, then they take away his victory and give it to another. That is, it is impossible to show that it hurts you and that it affects you: you will lose. The same is true in life. This can also be extrapolated to your own life. You can't show your inner feelings nobody. They are only for you and the Almighty.

- Psychologists advise after a stressful situation to express their negative emotions, do not accumulate them in yourself.

If you are in a stressful situation, then you cannot show your internal state. Then go to your loved ones, communicate, show what mood you are in. And now, while you're stressed, you can't show your weakness. You can't show your thoughts.

I once saw a Japanese man who was beaten at competitions just terribly. It was such a brutal fight. Our fighter beat him mercilessly. The Japanese had no expression of emotion on his face. Three minutes have passed. Our fighter is all surprised that he could not defeat him. They gave me extra time. Ours began to panic: no matter where he hits the Japanese, he does not react, he does not have any emotions on his face. As a result, the Japanese won because he endured. Our fighter was very tired, and by activity at the end of the second time, or the third, I don’t remember, the Japanese are given the victory. True, then ours left with his own feet, and the Japanese were carried away. He was all beat up, and, in my opinion, did not come out for the next fight. What does it say? The fact that a person was able to mobilize inside and not show his internal state opponent. By this, he caused panic in the enemy, spiritually defeated him.

The same is true on the street. The aggressor starts attacking you, psychologically putting pressure on you. If you react calmly, the attacker collapses. He has questions, why are you reacting outside the box? He himself will think of everything for you - that you have a gun or something else. And you will have time to think and make a decision in those seconds. The main thing is to be cold-blooded, and not show what is happening inside. Try to reasonably, calmly convince, stop the aggression. Don't be provocative. You must behave outwardly confidently, but at the same time show that you do not seek conflict. If you show that you want aggression, but at the same time you are afraid, this will provoke a further attack. You don't need to do this.

We train our people certain situations attack first. When the enemy has a clear advantage in strength, quantity, when there is no way to leave, if the aggressor has a weapon, or in a situation where there is aggression against your loved ones, women, children, you must attack. But without inner malice. If there are many attackers, it is necessary to remove the main one in order to destroy the structure. They can move away from you, seeing that you strong-willed person. You have to look into the eyes.

But we are talking about athletes. It is better, of course, to try not to create such situations, it is better to get away from them altogether.

- How to become such that you can look into the eyes of a person who is going to attack you without fear?

I have two types of experience in this area: sports and spiritual. They are different. I talked about how a person is brought up in sports training. In the spiritual realm, this is prayer, this is the reading of spiritual literature. It is necessary to read the holy fathers, there you will find for yourself the answer to how Orthodox people acted in this or that situation. Compared to what happened in ancient times, what feats Christians performed, the situations that we have in life are such a trifle. The Fathers of the Church from time immemorial give us an example of how to behave, with whom and how to communicate, and from whom we should ask for help. I'm talking about God: if you ask Him, you always receive.

- If a person constantly does more exercises than he can, does it also strengthen his will?

Well, yes. Let's say you can pull yourself up three times today. Set yourself the task of adding once every week. To add one at a time, you need to approach this horizontal bar three times every day, try to do it once plus another half a time. We must set ourselves difficult tasks and systematically fulfill them. To strengthen the will, you always need to set some tasks that lead to continuous improvement.

- It turns out that sport is the only way to develop willpower?

Well, this is the easiest and most affordable way. Moreover, the sport in which the element of testing the physical and moral endurance of a person is maximally present. In some ways, this is not visible. And there are species that, in my opinion, in educational plan have a very strong effect on people. I think that karate is very suitable in this regard. I am not only talking about those who become masters, but about ordinary people, even with various diseases, disabilities or mental trauma. Our sport is very successful in strengthening people.

But sport is sport, nevertheless, I believe that spiritual life should be at its best in each of us. I’ll tell you another case: once I came to my elder in the Trinity-Sergius Lavra. I tell him: “I’m tired of sports, I have a lot to do, I don’t see a future.” And he asked me a question: “How many people do you have? Who are you educating? At that time there were twenty thousand in the federation. I didn't understand the question. “You train a lot of people. Probably, you are raising warriors, right? - "Well, yes". - "So strong, strong, right?" - "Yes". - “And what kind of warriors do you bring up? Proud, maybe? For whom do you bring them up - for gangs? For them to live selfishly? You must educate Orthodox warriors. Therefore, there is no blessing for you to leave the sport, so go and work. As you attracted people to yourself, continue to direct.

And then I thought: but really, who are we educating? We must educate people who will benefit the state and society. And the proud - what will they bring us? We must be sympathetic to what we do. great meaning in all our deeds should be.

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Psychologist's advice number 3. Stop wasting yourself on things you can't change.
You have been cheated on for a long time, they treat you badly, do not pay your salary, and much more. Instead of focusing on what you can change, you are fighting what other people don't want! Get busy with your life and make it filled with pleasure, or do you want to tell your children only that life is filled with suffering and everyone wants to cheat? Is this the meaning of your life?

Psychologist's advice number 4. Start liking yourself, not everyone.
There are people who are always trying to please everyone. There are people who go against everyone and thus try to assert their "strength". None of these methods are acceptable. Everything must be in balance. If this balance is not on the inside, it will not be on the outside of your life either. Finally admit that you do not have to be good for everyone and everyone likes you! Object, confront, and say no, but in moderation. Respect your time and don't waste other people's time. Be real person, and not an illusion that hides a lot of discontent and resentment against people.

Psychologist's advice number 5. Let go of the past, live in the present and think only good things about the future!
If you are constantly digging into your memories, then most time and mental energy (which you could spend on something useful) you spend in a trance and oblivion, deciding nothing here and now and doing nothing for the future. Accept your past either on your own or with the help of a psychologist. Start living here and now, living every moment of life and enjoying what you already have!

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Psychologist's advice number 6. Change yourself, but don't expect someone else to do it for you or for you!
If you are waiting for changes from someone (children or loved ones), but do not want to do anything on your own, then the business will fail. First of all, no one changes if things become obsolete! Secondly, it is extremely difficult to change because someone wants it. Changes always occur only with internal motivation, backed up only by internal motives.
So people in many families wait for their loved ones to change instead of realizing that they themselves need to change. And then: while you are waiting for someone, you yourself get stuck at one level of development, so act on your own or see a psychologist on the website!

Psychologist's advice number 7. Believe in yourself no matter what and don't give up!
Every defeat is a chance to do better. Even the best entrepreneurs admit that their early attempts led to a large number failures. Be prepared not to give up and keep trying until you succeed, if each such failure moves you closer to the goal.

Psychologist's advice number 8. Being with yourself is not loneliness.
Stop thinking that if you don't have a boyfriend or a husband, then you are all alone. Read all the tips above and love your presence here on this earth. Stop being afraid to be alone with your thoughts and use this time to reflect and plan. Depend only on your time and your mood, and not on the time and mood of others. Learn to be happy with others and alone.

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Psychologist's advice number 9. Nobody owes you anything.
In fact, you are entitled to everything in this life. Instead of expectations, look for your happiness based on your abilities. It sounds cruel, but it's better if you depend on the "giving hand".

Psychologist's advice number 10. Take your time or don't expect instant results.
Are you working on improving your health condition or starting a new business, or are you working on personal growth with a psychologist, do not expect instant results! Invest your energy and time in appropriate doses and celebrate every achievement in your business. Know and understand that qualitative changes require time.