What to do not to worry. A few simple rules to help get out of a state of excitement

Stress, domestic problems haunt us daily. The strong man successfully copes with situations that arise in his life, but there is a category of people who are worried for any reason. Emotional and violent response to stimuli leads to overstrain nervous system, fatigue and inability to adequately act in the current situation. Many problems can simply be ignored or let go, but a competent response to stressful factors needs to be learned.

What happens to us when we are nervous

The heartbeat quickens.
Sweaty palms.
Changes thinking process- accelerates or, conversely, slows down.
Tearfulness appears.
There is a desire to drink or smoke.
We react inadequately to the situation, we enter into conflicts, we are disappointed.

How to stop reacting and worrying about little things

Every problem has its time. We often think of what has not happened yet, we begin to build in our brain possible development events, and in a negative way, which causes a surge in us certain emotions. From here follows the first rule - we solve problems as they arise and stop planning their development in our imagination.
Keep yourself occupied with something: physical or enhanced mental work that is not related to the problem. Make sure you have something to do throughout the day.
Learn breathing exercises. Various breathing practices are well developed in the yoga system, where you can also learn meditation techniques that will allow you to calm emotions and learn to control yourself. Calming breathing helps even in extreme situations when you need to take a break and find the most effective solution.
Live for today. Many problems are not worth attention. Got nasty in line? And what do you care about a complete stranger and his mood. By his behavior, he only makes things worse for himself, but if you respond to his words or actions, your mood will also deteriorate. Why do you need this? Just walk or answer completely calmly and without emotions - this way you will maintain your peace of mind and prevent conflict from developing.
We are often annoyed by loved ones after a long stay with them. Understand that each person is an individual, with their own habits and needs. At the beginning of your living together the person was the same, but you did not pay attention to minor flaws, so why did you start doing it now? Make it clear to yourself that every person has the right to freedom, character flaws and a certain way of thinking. No need to try to remake someone, it is better to do self-education.
Stop feeling guilty about what happened. Improper upbringing in childhood leads to the fact that already an adult person feels for his actions. You are not to blame for anything! You don't owe anything to anyone, and people don't owe you anything. Just live and enjoy. Yes, we are responsible for many actions, but they happened, they just need to be accepted as a fait accompli and live on.
Learn to deal with fear. The expectation of failure and danger paralyzes us, prevents us from thinking and acting effectively. Fear is an instinct, but it is needed only in dangerous situations. Are you afraid of flying? But if you count the number of accidents in air transport, it turns out that there are much fewer of them than in water or land. Are you afraid to change your life? So you will live in obscurity and financial limitations. Are you afraid to love or marry your loved one? Then he will find another partner. Do what you fear and you will feel free.
Don't twist. Our thoughts can bring the experience of the situation to the point of absurdity. An even greater danger is to worry about something that has not yet happened and is not sure whether it will happen at all. If you so want to scroll through the plot of future events in your head, then present them in the best light, the way you would like them to happen. We are able to attract situations and problems to ourselves just by thinking about them, so thoughts should be as positive as possible.
Stop worrying about what others think. In fact, other people don't care about you. It seems to us that people rejoice with us or experience, but each of us in more disturb own problems. Do you care about gossip? Forget about it and don't try to prove something to people, it will only get worse. Pass, smiling, past gossips, communicate with him evenly and calmly, they are not worthy of your attention, but your peace of mind is much more important. And do not listen to the gossip that "well-wishers" tell you, just live the way you think is right.
Accept the inevitable. Much that has already happened cannot be changed. You can cry, worry for a while, but this process cannot be delayed. Set aside an evening for yourself, take stock and accept the situation as a given. It happened and it's impossible to change it.
Change what you can change. If you understand that something else can be changed in your direction, stop worrying and outline a plan of action. Calculate everything to the smallest detail, turn off emotions, they only interfere, and decide what you will do next. clear plan It will help you put your thoughts and deeds in order, as well as get what you want.
Don't strive for complete perfection. Yes, we must try to do everything as best as possible, but the ideal does not exist, and the pursuit of perfection is dangerous for peace of mind. The ideal figure exists only in glossy magazines, the ideal report - in the thoughts of the authorities. Yes, you need to do your job as well as possible while it feels like a comfortable act, but if you understand that striving for the ideal brings you discomfort, it's time to slow down.
Allow yourself to make mistakes. There is no person in the world who would never make a mistake. Any mistakes are our experience, a way of mastering the world around us. Every mistake is an opportunity to learn something new about yourself or your work. There is a category of people who believe that they are not mistaken. This view of the world is dangerous because it is associated with children's fears of doing the wrong thing. If you do not see the real results of your actions and do not understand where you acted incorrectly, then in the future there may come a moment when a major mistake will really be made, which is no longer possible to correct.

Sometimes the principle of "scoring the situation" helps. The most important thing is to accept yourself, love yourself, the little things are not worth our attention, they are part of our life and nothing more. Remember, in many ways, physical health depends on emotions and psychological mood so learn to be calm and find pleasure in the little things.

All large quantity men and women feel the need to be more balanced, want to learn how to stop being nervous and teach themselves to cope with negative emotions, how to change their attitude towards life from negative to positive.

A life modern people rich and dynamic. A person finds himself in negative, every day, there are many reasons for concern. But is excessive, unreasonable, disturbing anxiety and nervousness justified?

Nature has come up with a special defense mechanism - a sense of fear. Its derivatives are anxiety and restlessness. To survive, a person needs to be careful and attentive.

Instincts help to survive, society requires awareness of the individual and the ability to follow accepted norms, follow the rules of behavior. You need to be able to cope with natural negative experiences and emotions in order to be happy.

For some people, due to temperament and character, it is easier to remain cool and calm in negative situations, for others it is harder. Anxious, suspicious, insecure individuals worry and panic often, they simply don’t know how not to be nervous.

Every woman wants to be calm for her children, family. Every man wants to be calm for his work, financial stability, well-being.

People are nervous because they are afraid. Fear is normal. The main thing is to be able to distinguish between real reasons for concern from invented and ridiculous ones.

Self-mastery techniques

Solving the problem - how to stop being nervous right now - people often resort to sedatives in the form of drugs.

Medications help relieve symptoms, "calm" the nerves, but do not solve the problem, do not affect the cause of anxiety.

The reason lies in the person's perception of an exciting situation. The attitude of the individual towards negative sides. The way a person reacts to a difficulty determines the experience of it as negative or negative. positive situation and whether it will be cause for concern and nervousness.

Any medication is dangerous to use without consulting a doctor, and self-help can be much more effective than medication.

When nervousness and anxiety are due to a specific negative situation, it is recommended:

Visualization

Imagine yourself in a pleasant place on Earth - on the seashore or on the couch at home - all the same, the main thing is to feel the peace and comfort of this place.

This method is especially suitable for individuals with developed imagination, figurative thinking and fantasy. For example, a woman wants to be calm at work. She decorates her desktop with a photo of a pleasant place and admires it if there is a reason for concern.

Any physical activity(including screaming) removes psychological stress. Throw out negative emotions on objects, not on people. Any safe object that can be hit, thrown, squeezed without harming health is fine.

For example, a punching bag as a means of expressing accumulated indignation is suitable for men. If a man manages to be calm in a stressful situation, then it does not hurt to express his negative experiences physically, since their accumulation can be harmful to physical and mental health.

If you wash your face, neck, hands with cool or cold water you can quickly calm down. cool reception drinking water It will also help balance the nervous system. At home, you can take a contrast shower or bath.

Breath

Proper breathing is a universal answer to the question of how to stop being nervous for any reason.

Breathing exercises will help in any stressful situation. You need to inhale the air deeply and slowly through the nose, hold your breath for a couple of seconds and exhale noisily and quickly through the mouth. After five approaches, you need to take a break. This method will saturate the blood with oxygen, regulate the work of the brain.

The source of a good mood, a way to saturate the body with oxygen and hormones of joy is sincere laughter. If a person can teach himself to smile through force for five minutes, his mood will improve - this is a fact. People with a sense of humor have their own recipe for nervousness, worries and anxieties, they know how to stop being nervous - to be able to laugh at problems. positive attitude improves the quality of life.

These are the "drugs" that help to quickly and effectively cope with nervousness! But these are concrete measures against temporary negative situations.

How not to be nervous at all? How to become a balanced person, whose emotions and experiences are always controlled by the mind? Read on!

Self-improvement is the key to peace of mind

There are people whose life is a continuous experience; as soon as one problem is solved, a new reason for unrest and negative experiences appears.

If you are nervous all the time, you can get a number of physical and mental illness. Neuroses and psychosomatic illnesses are not uncommon these days.

A happy person is a harmonious and balanced mature personality. You need to be able to enjoy life, to be wise to look at the imperfection of the world around you. To achieve this goal, you need to learn how to stop being nervous, how to learn how to live with peace of mind.

Everyone can become a harmonious personality, but for this you will have to work hard and work on yourself.

Seven answers to the question of how to learn not to be nervous:

Live here and now, in the present tense. The past cannot be returned, and a happy future can only be created in this moment. Worrying about what has passed is meaningless; worrying about what might be is a waste of energy. Need to solve urgent real problems, and not those that have remained in the past or exist only in an imaginary future.
. Lack of confidence in oneself and one's abilities gives rise to many nervous disorders. People with low self-esteem are set to avoid failure rather than success; constantly worried that something might go wrong.
Accept your own imperfection and the imperfection of the outside world. Wisdom lies in this attitude to the world: the ability to distinguish between imperfections that a person can correct and those that cannot be changed. To love yourself without judgment is how to learn not to be nervous and not to react to the opinions of others.
Rational thinking. It is useful not to be nervous, but to think over possible negative outcomes crisis situations. If worrying about the future is justified, one should exercise foresight and think about the worst that could happen and how to act in this case. Such rational thinking will reduce nervousness and increase self-confidence. As long as a person is alive, there is practically no hopeless situations. Where there are no problems and cannot be, it is not worth looking for them.
Goal setting. An aimless existence calls into question everything possible and life itself. Correct staging goals, confidence that the goal is achievable, will make life meaningful and organized. A well-set goal is specific, achievable, limited in time, has evaluation criteria.
Employment. When a person is busy with work, passion, hobby, communication, active and interesting vacation then disturbing, negative thoughts and there is simply no place for nervousness. Boredom, laziness and pessimism contribute to the emergence of negative experiences. The world is full of beauty and joy, you just have to pay attention to them, visit nature more often, spend time with your loved ones, enjoy life.
Get rid of guilt. Some people do not understand how not to be nervous for loved ones, considering it a manifestation of love. The feeling of guilt for the events in the life of another person is someone else's responsibility transferred to oneself. Another person, even the closest one, is a separate person, he himself is responsible for his life. Negative experiences do not help, but harm, first of all, the person experiencing it.

Self-improvement helps to cope with many life difficulties, personal growth and development harmonize both the inner and outer world.

How to work and not be nervous

Worry about the work, its results, the success of the activity, promotion career ladder seems to many people not only natural, but also necessary.

Employers appreciate diligent, active, ambitious workers. Employees often put work "at the forefront", forgetting about their personal lives. The higher the value professional growth for a person, the more often he is nervous about work.

remember that besides work there are other values and personal life;
understand the importance of maintaining health (another job can be found, but health is one);
devote strictly allotted time to work;
perform only their duties, do not take on someone else's work;
do not enter into conflicts, adventures, intrigues, do not gossip;
observe subordination, maintain only working relations;
stop rushing, fussing, organize the working day competently;
learn how to effectively solve emerging work issues;
improve work skills and improve qualifications;
alternate between work and leisure.

Work-related problems should not be transferred to personal life and family. It is not uncommon when a person offended at work takes out his anger on the household.

Such breakdowns are inevitably followed by remorse and guilt, as there is an awareness of the insignificance of the work in comparison with the value of close relationships.

How to deal with anxiety in your personal life

How to learn not to be nervous when you come home after work? How not to worry about loved ones and not worry if they do something wrong?

If we talk about parent-child relationships, then here we need to remember the child's right to freedom and independence in decision-making. From infancy, kids need the opportunity to do things their own way; this desire teaches independence and the ability to survive without parents already in adulthood.

Excessive care of mothers and fathers is more harmful than their indifference. If the parents are worried about the child all the time, he will constantly worry about himself when he grows up.

In youth, many people make mistakes, and in order to reduce their number, it is necessary to develop the personality of a teenager, and not endlessly limit and control him. Being enough mature personality, he will not make stupid, illegal and irreparable mistakes.

If spouses / couples in love want to be less nervous for each other, you need to learn to trust. Loyalty, respect and understanding of the needs of the partner reduces the level negative emotions and experiences as a couple. Suspicion and excessive anxiety of only a partner, it becomes clear that there is no trust.

Husbands and wives are not children, they do not need to be educated, you can only help the individual grow and develop, inspire and encourage a person to independent work above oneself.

The relationship between a man and a woman in love should be built on mutual understanding, then there will be less unrest, cause for concern, quarrels and conflicts. Nervousness and anxiety over the development of relationships will not make them stronger. The harmony of living together is achieved by those spouses who do not get tired of working on relationships.

Everyone can cope with nervousness and become a more holistic, developed and harmonious personality!

Surely everyone knows the expression - calm as a boa constrictor! How I would sometimes like to get used to this role and be less nervous for any reason, but this, unfortunately, does not always work out.

Stress is a common thing. And if there is no getting away from them, then it is important to change your perception of the world. Sometimes simple problem can develop in your mind to a large-scale cataclysm, and here it is not far from a nervous breakdown.

If you cannot cope with the situation that has happened, then it is important to listen to some advice and recommendations from psychologists, they will help improve your emotional state.

How to stop worrying about everything?

It is necessary to remember the golden truth - there are no hopeless situations, everything will pass, and it will be replaced by good mood and positive emotions. It is important to learn to be a little indifferent in this life, let life around you sparkle with new colors. When you learn to take a simpler attitude to every little thing in your life, you will notice that in fact nothing terrible is happening, but more and more far-fetched and exaggerated.
As soon as you have a stressful situation on the basis of an insignificant reason, then look sensibly at the people around you. Life is impossible without difficulties and failures, there are so many people around who need help and support, these are the disabled, single mothers, the unemployed, the homeless. Do you still consider your situation hopeless or not?
It is important to quickly resolve any problem, and not keep it in your head and constantly think about it.

Prioritize anxiety!

It is necessary to look at the stressful situation that has arisen from the outside, and even better - from the prism of the future. Recall a situation that happened before, but also caused a lot of negative emotions in you. Now, for sure, you remember her with a smile. The same will happen with the current state of affairs, so why be nervous and introduce yourself into psychological discomfort.
In addition to negativism, something joyful and interesting is sure to happen in your life, let's think about it. Let your children be the source of joy favorite hobby, do not worry about gossip and intrigue from the outside, if they talk about you, then you are better than them!
You need to learn not to depend on other people's opinions, stop feeling guilty in front of people, this is your life, your dress, your car, your hairstyle, you won’t be able to please everyone, but why strive for this.
Learn how to switch from bad to good correctly, take a meditation course, listen to an audio-video lesson on how to control yourself and not succumb to negativism environment learn to take advantage of every stressful situation and benefit from it.

Live happily, do not make cosmic plans in advance, do not torment yourself with thoughts about past actions and mistakes, smile and go forward with your head held high! Why waste precious minutes of being on discussions, gossip, stupid worries over trifles, if you can play with your beloved sons, meet your dear friend, hug your sweetheart or visit your mother!

What do people say who were able to change and not worry over trifles?

Let's not waste life in vain, it is so small, away from unnecessary worries that can interfere with the achievement of the goal. It is important to get rid of the habit of worrying about the little things and being nervous about every occasion.

If necessary, it is necessary to reconcile, if not, to correct and improve. Trust yourself, raise your self-esteem, set adequate plans and work with pleasure.

Rest and relax properly, do not accumulate negative energy in yourself. Make time for sleep, do not neglect good rest, no financial well-being will save you from despondency, depression and poor health.

Take care of your nervous system, protect yourself from stress, do not enter into dialogues where your presence will not be so significant, but negative energy will enter your conscious. Do not swear over trifles, in line, route, at the market, value your opinion and let others speak out.

If you are a compassionate person, then distribute your efforts - if you can, then help, if not, then don’t take it, you don’t need to take on other people’s problems if they don’t bring you anything other than frustration.

Forget about your fears, think positively. Yes, if you get fired, you can find more better job If you part with your husband, then this is not your half. In everything you need to look for a healthy grain, and not wind yourself up about this and worry in vain.

Attention! Do not invent unnecessary problems for yourself, learn to relax, especially in cases where there is no way to influence the situation. Just learn to love yourself and your life, put up with the shortcomings of this world, do not wind yourself up over trifles and everything will be fine!!!

Let's solve problems as they come, live for today, solve all troubles in short terms, properly relax, fully relax, sensibly accept the inevitable and enjoy life in all its manifestations!

A person can get tired of anything: from a long rain or, conversely, from extreme heat, from loneliness or from too annoying colleagues, from hard work. Sometimes it happens that the cause of fatigue of a person becomes himself. This is due to the fact that he starts because of any problems, and when they are finally resolved, instead of calming down and relaxing, he immediately switches to new experiences.

In addition to constantly worrying about what might happen, many begin to think about what has already happened, constantly returning to it. Thus, a person begins to literally eat away at himself, without any soil and prerequisites for this. It makes no sense, because no one can influence what has already happened. Similarly, it is impossible to predict the future. So how do you avoid it and how to stop worrying?

Tip 1.

Start thinking about problems and their solutions only as they arise. Don't worry about things that might not even happen. Live in the moment and do only what you need in the moment. If now you do everything as well and correctly as possible, this will be a guarantee that in the future you will not have anything to worry about.

Tip 2.

If something is bothering you, think about what could happen in the worst possible scenario for you. Is it really all that scary, or can you not worry about it? Try to find a solution in advance that will help you improve the situation.

Tip 3.

Put in front of you clear goals, this will help you avoid unnecessary worries.

Tip 4.

Solve all problems with maximum efficiency. To do this, write down on a sheet everything that you are concerned about. After that, next to each problem, write down the ways to solve it. Set a deadline for when you must complete it.

Tip 5

If experiences over trifles have become your constant companions, but you want to learn how to how to stop worrying, a good way out for you may be some interesting hobby for you. Availability interesting lesson will take your all free time and you won't have time to worry.

Tip 6

If you are a compassionate person, think about how you can help someone you care about in some way. Help if you can, if not, don't waste your own. You should not shift the problems of others onto yourself and take responsibility for other people's actions, because they are adults just like you, which means they must make all the decisions that concern them.

Tip 7.

Don't create unnecessary problems for yourself. Very often we begin to think about what could happen bad in the future and get upset about it. Instead, think about what is the likelihood that everything will happen in this way, in the worst way for you? Relax, if you do not have any opportunity to influence the future, then why "cheat" yourself in advance?

Tip 8

Forget about your fears. Not worth living in constant fear before dismissal, parting with a loved one, inevitable old age. There is nothing to worry about, because you can always find new job, which will be better for you than the previous one. Loved ones do not always part either, and if you and your partner do everything in order to maintain the relationship, then nothing threatens them. If he does not want to do this, then why do you need such a partner? Aging is an inevitable process, and you cannot influence it in any way, which means you should not worry about it.

Tip 9.

Accept your imperfections, recognize yourself with all your features. Not everyone is lucky enough to look like the glossy cover models. Ideal people can not be. These models in real life may look completely different. Just learn to love yourself with all your flaws and your life will become much easier.

Good luck to all! Check out my blog again!

In this article, I will talk about how to stop being nervous. I will explain how to keep calm and composure in any life situation without the help of sedative pills, alcohol and other things. I will talk not only about how to suppress states of nervousness and calm down, but also explain how you can stop being nervous at all, bring the body into a state in which this feeling simply cannot arise, in general, about how to calm your mind and about how to strengthen the nervous system.

The article will be built in the form of consecutive lessons and it is better to read them in order.

When do we get nervous?

Nervousness and jitters, this is the feeling of discomfort that you experience on the eve of important, responsible events and events, during psychological stress and stress, in problematic life situations, and just worry about every little thing. It is important to understand that nervousness has, as psychological so physiological causes and manifests itself accordingly. Physiologically, this is connected with the properties of our nervous system, and psychologically, with the characteristics of our personality: a tendency to experience, overestimation of the significance of certain events, a sense of insecurity in oneself and what is happening, shyness, excitement for the result.

We begin to get nervous in situations that we consider either dangerous, threatening our lives, or, for one reason or another, significant, responsible. I think that the threat to life, not so often looms before us, the townsfolk. Therefore, I consider situations of the second kind to be the main reason for nervousness in everyday life. Fear of failing, looking inappropriate in front of people All this makes us nervous. With regard to these fears, there is a certain psychological setting, it has little to do with our physiology. Therefore, in order to stop being nervous, it is necessary not only to put the nervous system in order, but to understand and realize certain things, let's start with understanding the nature of nervousness.

Lesson 1. The nature of nervousness. A necessary defense mechanism or a hindrance?

Our palms begin to sweat, there may be tremors, increased heart rate, increased pressure in thoughts, confusion, it is difficult to get together, concentrate, it is difficult to sit still, I want to occupy my hands with something, smoke. These are the symptoms of nervousness. Now ask yourself, how much do they help you out? Do they help you deal with stressful situations? Are you better at negotiating, taking an exam, or talking on a first date when you're on edge? The answer is - of course not, and moreover, it can screw up the whole result.

Therefore, it is essential to be clear that a tendency to be nervous is not natural reaction organism to a stressful situation or some ineradicable feature of your personality. Rather, it is simply some kind of mental mechanism fixed in the system of habits and / or a consequence of problems with the nervous system. Stress is only your reaction to what is happening, and no matter what happens, you can always react to it in different ways! I assure you that the impact of stress can be minimized and nervousness eliminated. But why remove it? Because when you're nervous:

Your thinking ability is reduced and you find it harder to concentrate, which can exacerbate a situation that requires the utmost mental resources
You have less control over your intonation, facial expressions, gestures, which can have a bad effect on responsible negotiations or a date
Nervousness contributes to a faster accumulation of fatigue and tension, which is bad for your health and well-being.
If you are often nervous, this can lead to various diseases (meanwhile, a very significant part of the diseases stem from problems of the nervous system)
You worry about the little things and therefore do not pay attention to the most important and valuable in your life
Are you exposed bad habits: , alcohol, as you need something to relieve tension

Remember all those situations when you were very nervous and this negatively affected the results of your actions. Surely everyone has many examples of how you broke down, unable to withstand psychological pressure, lost control and lost . So we will work with you on this.

Here is the first lesson, during which we learned that:

Nervousness does not bring any benefit, but only hinders
You can get rid of it by working on yourself
AT Everyday life there are few real reasons to be nervous, since we or our loved ones are rarely threatened, mostly we worry about trifles

I will return to the last point in the next lesson and, in more detail, at the end of the article and tell you why this is so.

You have to set yourself up like this:

I have nothing to be nervous, it bothers me and I intend to get rid of it and it's real!

Don't think that I'm just arguing about something I have no idea myself. All my childhood, and then my youth, until the age of 24 I experienced great. I couldn't pull myself together stressful situations, worried about any little thing, even almost fainted because of his sensitivity! This negatively affected health: pressure surges began to be observed, “ panic attacks”, dizziness, etc. Now all this is in the past.

Of course, it’s impossible to say now that I have the best self-control in the world, but anyway, I stopped being nervous in those situations that plunge most people into nervousness, I became much calmer, compared to my previous state, I reached a fundamentally different level of self-control. Of course, I still have a lot to work on, but I'm on the right way and there is dynamics and progress, I know what to do.

In general, everything I am talking about here is based solely on my experience of self-development, I do not invent anything and only tell about what helped me. So if I had not been such a painful, vulnerable and sensitive young man and, then, as a result personal problems I wouldn’t have started to remake myself - all this experience and the site that summarizes and structures it would not exist.

Lesson 2. How to stop being nervous for any reason?

Think about all the events that make you nervous: your boss calls, you take an exam, you wait unpleasant conversation. Think about all these things, assess the degree of their importance to you, but not in isolation, but within the context of your life, your global plans and prospects. What is the significance of a skirmish public transport or on the road for a lifetime, and is it terrible to be late for work and be nervous about it?

Is this something to think about and worry about? At such moments, focus on the purpose of your life, think about the future, take your mind off current moment. I am sure that from this perspective, many things that make you nervous will immediately lose their significance in your eyes, turn into real trifles, which they certainly are and, therefore, will not be worth your worries.

This mindset helps a lot. stop worrying about everything. But no matter how well we set ourselves up, although this will certainly have a positive effect, it will still not be enough, since the body, despite all the arguments of the mind, can react in its own way. Therefore, let's move on and I will explain how to bring the body into a state of calm and relaxation immediately before any event during and after it.

Lesson 3. Preparation. How to calm down before a responsible event.

Now some important event is inexorably approaching us, during which our ingenuity, composure and will will be tested, and if we successfully pass this test, then fate will generously reward us, otherwise we will lose. This event can be a final interview for your dream job, important negotiations, a date, an exam, etc. In general, you have already learned the first two lessons and understand that nervousness can be stopped and this must be done so that this state does not prevent you from focusing on the goal and achieving it.

And you realize what's ahead of you an important event, but no matter how significant it is, anyway, even the worst outcome of such an event will not mean the end of your whole life for you: there is no need to dramatize and overestimate everything. It is precisely from the very importance of this event that the need to be calm and not to worry arises. This is too much of a responsibility to let nervousness ruin it, so I will be focused and focused and will do my best for this!

Now we bring thoughts to calmness, remove the jitters. First, immediately throw all thoughts of failure out of your head. In general, try to calm the fuss and not think about anything. Free your head from thoughts, relax your body, exhale deeply and inhale. The most ingenuous will help to relax breathing exercises.

The simplest breathing exercises.

It should be done like this:

inhale for 4 counts (or 4 beats of the pulse, you must first feel it, it is more convenient to do this on the neck, and not on the wrist)
hold your breath 2 counts/beats
exhale for 4 counts/beats
hold breath for 2 counts/beats and then inhale again for 4 counts/beats - all over again

In short, as the doctor says: breathe - do not breathe. 4 seconds inhale - 2 seconds hold - 4 seconds exhale - 2 seconds hold.

If you feel that breathing allows you to take deeper breaths / exhalations, then do the cycle not 4/2 seconds but 6/3 or 8/4 and so on.

Only you need to breathe with the diaphragm, that is, the stomach! During times of stress, we breathe rapidly from the chest, while diaphragmatic breathing calms the heartbeat, suppressing physiological signs nervousness, bringing you into calmness.

During the exercise, we keep our attention only on the breath! There must be no more thoughts! It is most important. And then after 3 minutes you will feel that you have relaxed and calmed down. The exercise is done no more than 5-7 minutes, according to the sensations. With regular practice breathing practice not only helps you relax here and now, but also in general puts the nervous system in order and you are less nervous without any exercise. So I highly recommend.

You can see my video on how to do diaphragmatic breathing at the end of this article. In the video, I talk about how to deal with panic with the help of breathing. But this method will also allow you to get rid of nervousness, calm down and pull yourself together.

Other relaxation techniques are presented in my article.

Okay, so we are ready. But the time has come for the event itself. Next, I will talk about how to behave during the event, so as not to be nervous and be calm and relaxed.

Lesson 4

Show calm: even if neither emotional mood, no breathing exercises helped you relieve tension, then at least try with all your might to demonstrate external calmness and equanimity. And this is necessary not only in order to mislead your opponents about your state on this moment. The expression of outer peace helps to achieve inner peace. This operates on the principle feedback, not only your well-being determines your facial expressions, but also facial expressions determine your well-being. This principle is easy to test: when you smile at someone, you feel better and more cheerful, even if you were previously in bad mood. I actively use this principle in my daily practice and this is not my invention, it is really a fact, it is even written about in Wikipedia in the article “emotions”. So the more relaxed you want to seem, the more relaxed you actually become.

Watch for facial expressions, gestures and intonation: the principle of feedback obliges you to constantly look inward and be aware of how you look from the outside. Do you seem too tense? Are your eyes not running? Are the movements smooth and measured or abrupt and impulsive? Does your face express cold impenetrability or can all your excitement be read on it? In accordance with the information about yourself received from the senses, you correct all your body movements, voice, facial expression. The fact that you have to take care of yourself already in itself helps you to gather and concentrate. And it's not just that with the help of internal surveillance you control yourself. By observing yourself, you focus your thoughts at one point - on yourself, do not let them go astray and take you in the wrong direction. This is how concentration and calmness are achieved.

Eliminate all markers of nervousness: what do you usually do when you are nervous? Are you fiddling with a ballpoint pen? Are you chewing on a pencil? Tie in a knot thumb and the little toe of the left foot? Now forget about it, keep your hands straight, do not often change their position. We do not fidget in a chair, we do not shift from foot to foot. We continue to take care of ourselves.

Take your time: haste, fuss always sets a special nervous tone. Therefore, do not rush even if you are late for a meeting. Since any haste very quickly knocks down composure and a calm attitude. You begin to nervously rush from one to another, in the end you only provoke excitement. No matter how you are rushed, do not rush, being late is not so scary, better save your nerves. This applies not only to important meetings: try to get rid of the rush in every aspect of your life: when you are going to work, riding in transport, doing work. It is an illusion that when you are in a hurry, you achieve results faster. Yes, the speed increases, but only slightly, but you lose a lot in composure and concentration.

That's actually all. All these principles complement each other and can be summed up in the call " look after yourself". The rest is particular and depends on the nature of the meeting itself. I would only advise you to think about each of your phrases, take your time with an answer, carefully weigh and analyze everything. No need to try to impress everyone accessible ways, you will produce it anyway if you do everything right and don't worry, work on the quality of your performance. No need to mumble and get lost if you were taken by surprise: calmly swallowed, forgot and move on.

Lesson 5. Calming down after a meeting.

Whatever the outcome of the event. You are on edge and still experiencing stress. Better take it off and think about something else. All the same principles work here that helped you pull yourself together before the meeting itself. Try not to think too much about the past event: I mean all sorts of fruitless thoughts, but if I spoke like this and not like that, oh, how stupid I looked there, oh, I'm a fool, but if ...! Just throw all thoughts out of your head, get rid of the subjunctive mood (if only), everything has already passed, put your breath in order and relax your body. That's it for this lesson.

Lesson 6. You should not create reasons for nervousness at all.

This is a very important lesson. Usually a significant factor in nervousness is the discrepancy between your preparation for the upcoming event. When you know everything, are confident in yourself, then why should you worry about the result?

When I studied at the institute, I missed a lot of lectures and seminars, I went to exams completely unprepared, hoping that I would carry it through and somehow pass it. As a result, I passed, but only thanks to the phenomenal luck or kindness of the teachers. Often went to retakes. As a result, during the session, I experienced such unprecedented psychological pressure every day due to the fact that I was trying to prepare in a hurry and somehow pass the exam.

During the sessions, an unrealistic amount was destroyed nerve cells. And I still felt sorry for myself, I thought that’s how much everything had piled up, how hard it was, eh ... Although it was my own fault if I had done everything in advance (I didn’t have to go to lectures, but at least the material for preparing for the exam and passing all intermediate control tests I could provide for myself - but then I was lazy and I was not at least somehow organized), then I would not have to be so nervous during exams and worry about the result and that they would take me into the army if I didn’t do something I will hand over, as I would be sure of my knowledge.

This is not a call not to miss lectures and study at institutes, I'm talking about the fact that you need to try yourself Do not create stress factors for yourself in the future! Think ahead and prepare for business and important meetings, do everything on time and do not delay until the last moment! Always have a ready-made plan in your head, and preferably a few! This will save you a significant part of the nerve cells, and in general will contribute to great success in life. This is a very important and useful principle! Use it!

Lesson 7

In order to stop being nervous, it is not enough just to follow the lessons that I outlined above. It is also necessary to bring the body and mind into a state of rest. And the next thing I will talk about will be those rules, following which you can strengthen the nervous system and experience less nervousness in general, be calmer and more relaxed. As a result, you will understand how to stop being nervous. These methods are focused on the long term, they will make you less prone to stress in general, and not just prepare you for a responsible event.

Firstly, in order to correct the physiological factor of nervousness, and bring the nervous system to a state of rest, you need to regularly. It is very good for calming the nervous system and calming the mind. I wrote a lot about this, so I won't dwell on it.
Secondly, go in for sports () and carry out a set of measures that support recovery (contrast shower, healthy eating, vitamins, etc.). AT healthy body healthy mind: your moral well-being depends not only on mental factors. Sport strengthens the nervous system.
Walk more, spend time outdoors, try to sit less in front of the computer.